My knees give out and my face slams into the plush carpeting. Dammit. I thought I could handle it, but even just tasting the rot on Tiana as I consumed her I should've known better. I should've guessed that it wouldn't be as simple as pulling it out and expelling it.

I look at Tiana, trying to drink in every feature of her face. She's so worried for me, but I couldn't be happier. I caress her cheek. It's something I've done endless times before this. This time, though, it feels different. She feels different.

I mumble something as my consciousness wanes.

Then my eyes close. Everything hurts, my head especially. Tiana's hands are on my body, shaking me. I want to move. I want to get up.

Dammit. Get it up.

Move your legs, Kam, and get. Up.

But I can't. My eyes open again, and the room is different. Darker. Shade creeps into the corners of the room.

"Kammie," Desdemona voice comes from every shadow. "What a kind gift to give me yourself like this. And here I thought I'd have to work to bring you back into the fold."

I try to push up off the carpet, but I sink further into it as I struggle. Then it splits, and pulls me into it and through.

I fall into the darkness, and spill forth into dreams and memories. They move past me, interlocking and interweaving. My body burns and freezes, and at every turn the shadows snap at my body.

Still, I fall further, and further.

She's burning up... Tiana's voice, from elsewhere than here.

I tumble backwards, then find myself sliding down a river I once played in as a child. Tiana is there. She cannot be. She does not look like herself.

How can she look so much like me?

No. Not Tiana.

Someone. I know the name. I know it because Desdemona tried to bury it.

Lae'sha reaches out to me.

Please. You have to be okay. I turn towards the Tiana's voice, trying to will myself to move back toward her. She needs me. I have to be strong for her. Be a hero.

Have to.

I fail at it. I can't do it. I look back to Lae'sha, but she's gone.

Then the river takes me.

I plunge into its depths, pulled under as cold water forces its way into my mouth and lungs.

Something tells me I'm going to die from this. There's no fighting it.

Kam, no. No, stay with me. Kam!

Tiana.

I love you. I'm so, so sorry.

…

…

…

I don't know for how long I fall before I land on my feet. My claws sink into the loam, and a sunlight I've not seen in decades shines on my face. That hint of green that nothing on Earth can quite replicate.

Home. I'm home. I only ever see it in dreams these days. Brief glimpses. Not like this.

I remember this patch of land. Undisturbed by the cityscapes that dominate our skylines, I used to come here with her whenever the stress got to me — or when I wanted to connect with something beautiful. Something to inspire me. Dense vines sprout from the orange-grey soil. Small birds flit past.

I've heard of the Amazon on Earth. It's not the same, but it holds a similar allure. Untouched. A place where nature hadn't had to contend with the forces of civilization and industry.

I fought for its preservation. I forget its name, even as it blesses me with its serenity.

Lae'sha threads her fingers in mine, and I'm young again. So much younger. Her tail curls against mine, the touch instantly familiar. I feel the pain of my life slip away, the weight of it all falling from my shoulders.

"I've missed you." I say the words in a language I've forgotten.

"I know."

"For so long, I thought... I thought there was no way."

"No way?"

"Back. Back here." I look around, and notice that everything's blurry. Distant.

The fine details ebbed away by time in only the way a memory can.

I look at her, and it's like staring at a painting: vivid, but not quite real.

Everything's soft and smudged. I can't remember her. Not really. I look away because if this is what I think it is, then this isn't how I want my last thoughts of her to be: blurry and incomplete, a reminder of a world and a life lost to me.

"I'm not gonna make it, am I?"

"Nonsense, Kamillia. You're—"

"Lae'sha never lied."

She pauses, and I wonder if she's gone again. Around me, the sounds of wildlife and the construction taking place just on the horizon warble in and out — "like a record that can't find the groove".

Read that in a novel my first year gone.

"Kamillia, look at me." The way she says it, the pleading, compels me to listen.

I turn to face her, and I notice the wrinkles around her eyes. She's taken after Dialla, too: gray hairs streak her raven tresses. And there's a scar on her chin, already faded to a dusty brown, that I've never seen.

"I don't want it to end..." I say.

Lae'sha smiles at me. It's sweet and a little sad, and I know I can't stay.

I hold her close for as long as I can. Around us, the sound drops away, then the details of the forest begin to blur until there's nothing left but her and I.

…

…

…

I grip something soft, and stir against the highest thread count linens I've ever felt.

"Hey, take your time..." Lis' voice comes out rough, sleep and the tears she's been shedding making her growl more pronounced.

"Where's..." I try to find her, but...

"Tiana? She's gone."

I grip Lis' hand a bit tighter.

"Oh, sorry. I meant... she and Rory, they left. She asked me to come stay, in case you woke up. And I wanted to, y'know?"

Her other paw strokes over my hand. Soft, affectionate... so unlike the hurt and angry version of her from yesterday.

I sit up more, and groan at the way my muscles protest even doing that.

"You have to rest."

"I know."

Lis eyes me warily. "You have to rest."

"I'm going to."

She stops stroking my hand and presses a paw into my chest. "Then stop moving and lie back down."

"Tiana and Rory—"

"—are professionals who do this daily. You, meanwhile, are a woman who's almost been killed multiple times in the past day. Rest."

I relent, and flop back into bed, resenting how comfortable it is.

"It just feels wrong. Being here."

"Yeah, PTSD will do that."

Lis tries her best to not let the corner of her mouth quirk the way she does when she knows she right, but I catch it. And she sees me catch it. Any pretense of levity disappears with that. She kneads at the back of her neck with her paw for a moment, looking away before she starts. "So listen..."

I hold up a hand. "I know. Can we both agree that we weren't at our best?"

Lis nods. "Yeah."

I pull back the covers, and Lis curls up next to me. She purrs into my chest, and I don't fight to keep awake.

Maybe it's okay to rest. Just for now. I trust Tiana. I trust Rory.

I can rest.

Whatever semblance of peace settles over the two of us shatters a few minutes later, along with every window in the house.