She throws a punch, and I dodge to the left. I duck and jab, striking her in the ribs with a blow that causes her to gasp. Her hide is tough stuff, and — even with the magically enhanced powers of mine — it's difficult to cause any damage to her.

If only I had Amal's blade, I could make quick wor—

Wait. How did... How did I get here? Where am I? It's dark. Too dark for my bedroom. And there's a noise. My brain won't let me process it. Something high and almost melodic. My eyes feel so heavy, and so does my body, and I'm trying to understand.

I'm not supposed to be doing this.

I know that, but I can't remember why seeing her doubled over in front of me, her scales glittering in the moonlight as she tries to draw breath, causes me such distress. And that sound. High. Not a staccato, but two tone and thrumming. Crickets.

And then, like every time, the fog lifts.

I've sleepwalked as long as I can remember. It only ever happens I'm really tired, or really stressed. And today was... Well, it was good! Really good. Top ten, even though my conversation with Rory a few days ago consisted of him saying he needed space to process what's going on with me and Kam.

He'd seen the video from GirlCon. I didn't tell him about the rest. I didn't tell him that we've been together, or that I was in love with a woman. I'd intended to do just that: to be brave and honest and forthright. And I failed. I did my best to not dwell on it, and Kam...

Oh, god. Kam.

The memories of our first date come back, my brain finally out of that damn liminal space it goes to when I'm moving of my sleep-addled mind's own accord. She wasn't throwing a punch — she was doing her best to dodge and not hurt me. And...

I slump to my knees, breath leaving me in a pained woosh.

"I'm sorry," I choke out. "I didn't mean to, I swear. I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay..." Kam says, waving a hand. "That was, uh... It was good practice!" She stands to her full height. "Gotta keep sharp, after all." She shoots me a disarming smile.

It works, and I let out a relieved sigh.

"I mean... I'm gonna turn on you at some point, Tiana." Kam says, a wicked grin distorting her face. Her eyes burn with a crimson gleam. "I'm going to control you, Tiana." I watch, horrified, as Kam's visage cracks and burns.

Underneath is Desdemona. Oh god. Ohgodohgodohgod.

No. No, please.

"NO!" I bolt upright and run, moving fast and not thinking about where I am until the dew of the tall grass against my legs reminds me. I sigh, and stop.

"Tiana?" Kam's voice isn't filled with malice. It's soft, and caring, and I feel her warmth. It's so different than before that I know.

Without waiting, I turn and press myself into her arms. "I'm sorry," I say. "I'm sorry. I keep fucking this up."

"You didn't..." Kam says. I know she means it. I can't help but feel guilty all the same. Around us, the crickets continue to chirp, blissfully uncaring about all of this.

I hate it.

I hate that I am this way. I don't like being seen like this. Kam should be getting the better me — the me who doesn't ruin even the best days by being a fucking mess; the one doesn't dream that Kam's going to turn on her.

She should get the Tiana who's brave enough to be honest.

Instead, Kam has me. She has the coward who manipulated her and used her and doesn't deserve a single, solitary second of someone like her's time. The coward who can't even be honest with Rory.

I should just go. I should just leave.

"No, stay," Kam mutters, sensing the emotion. "Stay with me."

God, I'm an asshole. Not because I leave, but because I stay with her. I spend the rest of the night next to her, curled up as she holds me close. It's not even embarrassing. I just feel... Defeated. Beaten down. Shameful.

But eventually, I doze off. I must've, anyway, because the dawn wakes me.

Kam's already up, knees pulled up to her chest as she takes in the sunrise. The golden hues set the mist that dances across the tall grass aflame. It's beautiful, but it's nothing like Kam. She looks radiant, even like this... And it almost makes up for how much of a mess I've made things.

"Hi..." I mumble. Kam looks over her shoulder toward me, then tilts her head — beckoning to me. I snuggle into her side.

"How'd you sleep?" Kam asks, her gaze on the sunrise.

I can't lie. "Not bad, but not..." I realize I'm pressing into where I punched her. "Are you okay?" I ask.

Kam smiles. "I'm fine. Really. My scales aren't just for you to drool over."

"I don't drool! I... Appreciate!"

Kam shoots me a look.

"...With the occasional trail of saliva," I concede. It puts me at ease to know that she's okay. "But you're good?"

Kam pulls me in closer. "I am."

We watch the sunrise until the mist burns away, then we linger a bit longer. Eventually, both of our phones buzz with a reminder: we have a commercial to shoot today.