"I am seen as a thing that you cannot even fathom would have issue with the horrible, dehumanizing, disgusting wa—"

I scroll to the next.

"Because, to you, she's a person. And so is Desd—"

I scroll again.

"To see me. To hear when I say that Desdemona should not be free."

I scroll again.

Thousands of videos of literal girls in their teens lipsyncing to my words. I hear every imperfection, cringe as my voice breaks on Desdemona's name, and when I mention that Tiana's in the room. I keep scrolling, trying to understand if they care.

I'm not particularly convinced by what I see.

"Me @ that bitch" reads a caption.

"when they don't realize who they've messed with" reads another.

Every so often, it's just someone sitting there. I'm grateful when those captions read things like "You should listen to her".

After a while, Lis takes a seat next to me and pushes my phone down.

"Hey friend," she says. "Maybe doomscrolling TikTok for videos of yourself is a 'sometimes' food, huh?" The words are gentle, caring.

I'm too numb to really take them in except to nod. My fingers twitch, wanting to keep scrolling. I want to be understood now more than ever.

I hate that it leaked.

My phone buzzes in my hand and I go to check it. Lis plucks it from my hands and holds it away.

"Nuh-uh. You're cut off." Lis' tone is firm and direct.

I narrow my eyes. "This isn't your bar."

"What's your point?"

"Don't use your bartender voice on me! I'm not drunk, I'm just—"

"Overindulging."

Lis raises her eyebrows as a silent challenge. I don't disagree. She nods. "That's what I thought. And as a bartender, I'm pretty good at spotting those who have a penchant for maybe going a bit too far."

I pick at my cuticles. "Only a few times," I mumble, trying to not feel quite so scolded.

Because she's right. It's been like this all day today while Rax has been outside, doing his level best to head off the "media" trying to beat down my door.

I told him he should be in here and that he didn't have to.

He held up a hand. "I got this, don't you worry." And then he left.

If anyone could handle it, it really was Rax. After he'd helped to stop Desdemona the first time, there was a brief window of time when — in the right circles — he was recognizable.

People wanted a picture.

Or a minute of his time.

He even got his face on a cereal box.

And then it was gone. Everyone moved onto whoever was next, and Draxus of Kjel'Doran just became my friend again. I asked him about it once. He said he was fine, but I could tell: there was something about it that he missed.

I won't get attached to any part of it.

I don't want fame.

My world's tilted off its axis. I feel like I'm falling with it. I walked down the street before and nobody knew my name.

Last I checked, I was a trending topic on any number of social media sites. I scrolled those, too, for a while.

And before that, I texted Tiana back.

K: Oh god.
T: It'll be okay.
K: How??
K: Isn't this exactly what you told me you were worried about?
K: "potentially ruinous for both of us" was the wording you used, right?
T: They won't figure it out
T: Trust me
T: This will all blow over

Despite everything, I'm glad she's talking to me. And I miss her.

K: Thank you fo

I don't get to finish typing. There's a knock on my door. When I don't answer, Rax sends me a text.

He hurries up inside, along with Lis.

Which is how she ends up on my couch. It's how I end up snagging my phone back with my tail. And it's how I end up with her pinning me down.

"Gimme. The. Phone," she purrs.

I blink, and I let out a shallow, shaky breath that I didn't realize I was holding. She's warm on top of me, and I feel how ready she is from the bulge in her jeans.

And then three quick pounds on the Door. Rax.

Lis scrambles off. "You should, uh... you get that."

I try to form words. I fail. When she sees me lying there, still not able to speak, she does instead.

"Or, uh... I'll go," Lis says. She heads for the door, and I finally start processing enough to shoot up from the couch.

"Lis," I start.

Lis whirls back around. "No, it's okay."

She leaves.

Rax comes walking in a few moments later. Lis doesn't.

"Where's Lis?"

"She had to go open the bar," Rax says. He clocks the hurt I feel at Lis leaving. "You okay?"

I don't know how to talk about what happened yet, so I don't. "No, yeah. I'm good. I just... Busy day."

Rax nods. "Need company?"

He spends most of the day with me after that.

I don't open the door when it knocks. Rax does. Eventually, it gets late enough that Rax has to go home. I give him a deep hug.

I lie down in my bed, and dream.

Tiana's there again as I drift off, watching from the corner as I slide through my dreams.

After the first twenty-four hours pass, it doesn't slow down.

I'm low on food, and I have a job to go to tomorrow. I think of the one time I rode in a private car. It was with Tiana. At the time, I thought it was an indulgence of a rich woman who didn't want to bother using her magic.

Now I wish I wasn't sporting a ten-foot long tail covered in golden scales. I can't throw on a hat and sunglasses. I'm never going to blend.

Rax assures me they'll move on, but Rax has always blended well. Oh sure: his arms are a bit longer, with an extra digit, and his skin has a faint purple hue.

He's got dark umber eyes. All his teeth are sharp.

But from a distance? If you're not looking close? He blends.

I've seen people clear a path half a city block away for me because they saw me. I don't have the money to wait. I don't have the time to pretend they'll get bored.

Because I'm scared.

I used social media for all of five minutes before I got my first threat.

Now they know who I am, and what I believe. If I thought tourists were bad, then I need to do whatever I can to protect myself and Rax.

And Lis.

So I open my email and go to one I never thought I'd open.

I get an agent.

Within hours of my first conversation with a polite woman named Jessica — who "loves" my "vibe, bee-tee-dubs" — the frenzy's gone.

She assures me I can go to work on Monday.

I don't trust it. "How?"

"You're so perceptive! Gosh, they're just gonna eat you up." Jessica's chipper voice grates.

"Jessica." I have a feeling I'm going to be saying that a lot.

"Look, I know you're a totally newbie at this, but... a slot opened up at GirlCon and I booked you on a panel!"

"You..." My head swims. If my world felt like it was tilting off-axis before, it's hurtling into the goddamn Sun now.

GirlCon's put on by the Magisorcerers' Guild.

Everyone there hates monsters. I've seen enough to know that much. They celebrate people who actively send my kind into a hellish nowhere.

But then again: up until a few weeks ago, I was fucking a woman who did just that, so...

So I say "Okay."