"Please read and sign your name," the woman behind the desk says. If she recognizes me, she doesn't care as she hands me and Rory tablets.

On them are a bunch of legal documents that limit liability for the sex club we're at. "Donovan's". It sounds like a steak place, but the decor screams upscale.

The abundance of real leather alone tells me that this place cares about catering to the desire of people like me: those with an enjoyment of how far one can push what sex means.

A woman walks past me wearing a shirt that says "Sex Is Something You Do With Your Teeth".

I think I'll fit in fine.

Rory, meanwhile, looks pallid. This isn't his scene. He's as vanilla as it can get, but he wants to be here for me.

It's sweet how, as we're being given a tour, his eyes take in all sorts of things that don't even register as abnormal to me: whips, floggers, restraints...

Things I crave now.

Or, well... things I'm no longer willing to suppress now that I've got my lovely traitor squirming inside me again. She's so much bigger and better, sprawling out and making everything so much brighter to behold.

How did I ever live before this?

I mean, the answer is plain: I didn't, really.

There's the sound of a whip cracking, and Rory flinches.

I think about the wonderful, red streaks it'd make along my back, my thighs, my ass... I think about Kam, and all the ways that her tail could make a process like that so much better.

I'm so wet, but I can tell Rory wants to go.

Poor thing.

I hug him tight. "Hey, you doing okay?" I half-whisper, contending with the low, pulsing thump of the bass from some electronic song I can't name.

"Yeah, just... it's a lot," he says back. That's as much of a safeword as Rory has outside of play. "It's a lot" means "I need to go."

So we go.

I teleported here, but we ride back together in the car.

"I'm sorry," he says, sensing my disappointment.

"It's okay," I say.

"No, it's not."

"Rory—"

"This is important to you, and I want to make this work for you."

I take his hand. "I know it is, and we'll figure it out."

When Rory's asleep, I text Kam. I've gotten into the habit most nights now, ever since our reunion in the office.

If she's sensed her Decay in me, she hasn't said anything. And, now that I'm the one leading everything, Kam seems to be so much more at peace.

Heavy is the head, I guess.

When I arrive, she's opening the care package I sent. I knew that the trip to the sex club wouldn't go well, but I needed Rory to know that this wasn't really what he wanted.

Kam, meanwhile, looks at all the gifts I've bought her and I can see how turned on she's getting.

She wants me to hurt.

It's so easy when she does it so well. She doesn't need a whip when she has her tail, but some days she's exhausted from her job.

I don't want to tire her out needlessly. Kam is the best thing that's ever happened to my sex life, and focusing on that has made everything better.

We're perfect.

A matched pair that's just as broken apart as we are for each other. As long as she doesn't fuck it up and say something stupid, I don't see a need for anything to change.

"Can we... talk?" Kam asks, and I curse my bad luck.

Inside me, her Decay squirms.

I start feeling things.

I'm thawing.

I don't want it, but I don't want to give her up. If I get through this, I'll be fine.

"Yeah, sure," I say, trying to make the words sound natural.

"I'm..." Kam sighs. "I'm really fucking sorry again for how everything went down. I was a nervous wreck."

"You don't need to apologize," I say.

"If anything, I was wrong to do it," I continue before she can interject, "I was just coming to terms with some things, and you were there and... well, it was irresponsible."

Kam stares at me, brow furrowing in concern. "And you're... okay?"

I nod, a bit miffed that she's complicating things.

But there's something I can do to shift things, so I climb on top of her. "Besides, worst case scenario you can just pump me full of Decay and turn me into a monster like you."

Her hands go to my hips, and she starts rubbing circles with her thumbs. "I um... You know I wouldn't do that, right?"

I can't help the flare of annoyance that crosses my face, and she notices. "Is that why you forgave me?"

"No." We both know it's a lie. It pulls in all the oxygen in the room, and I see Kam's heart break.

"You know I can't do that to you." Her voice is so small. "Please don't ask me that."

"But it'd be so hot," I say.

Tears slip down Kam's cheeks. "I... God, this was a mistake." She gently lifts me off her.

I'm so furious that I contemplate using my strength. I'm just as strong as her, but it won't buy me anything.

And there's other ways to get what I want from Kam. So I let her.

"Y'know why I liked you, Tiana?" Kam asks. I've never heard her this upset. Inside me, I feel sick to my stomach. The Decay wants out. It wants Kam more than it wants me. "It's because I thought you weren't a tourist. I—"

"Don't you remember how this all started?" I shoot back. "What changed?"

"Me!" Kam says. "I changed. I can't keep sneaking around. I can't keep... fucking up like this."

This sounds like she's done with me, and the Decay inside me curdles at the thought. "What're you saying?" I don't recognize how low and lethal my voice is until I see the expression on her face.

"I-I'm saying... I can't keep seeing you like this," Kam says.

I won't beg. I won't plead. I've lived this before, and I have what I need to be safe from the pain. "Fine."

I blink home before the word's finished.

Rory stirs in bed. "Hun?"

"Shhh, go to sleep," I reply.

He rolls back over.

My insides are on fire. I'm feeling it. The Decay isn't supposed to do that. I'm not supposed to feel this way. Something is wrong with me.

No.

Something's wrong with it. It's not listening. I flick my fingers and cast a spell. It heeds my command, and the ice descends again.

Spectacular.