"Fuck... Are you guys... Did my spell work?"

I darted my eyes between the three. They were totally expressionless with their bodies subtly slumped as though they were just holding themselves up and were otherwise simply limp.

After what felt like a silence that lasted minutes, not seconds, Maria piped up. "Yes", she said, her voice totally without tone or emotion - like a parody of a moody teen in a sitcom piped up to eleven.

I protested, "There's no fucking way. You guys are fucking with me, I know it.".

Another long silence fell upon the room before Maria's voice returned, "We aren't."

"Prove it. Prove to me my spell worked."

My sight was a still frame for some ten seconds. None of them moved, none of them twitched, none of them made a sound. "Well? Why aren't you doing anything?"

This time it was Leah who's similarly empty voice replied. "How can we prove to you that it worked?"

"Fuck, I don't know! Do something you wouldn't otherwise do."

"What would you like me to do?"

My mind was having such a hard time processing the scene around me that it hadn't even occurred to me that I would be the one needing to instruct them. I pondered for a while. There were basic things, sure, the ol' act like a chicken, think we're all naked, yada yada yada. But if they were fucking with me, they'd expect that shit. I had to think of something more out of the blue to catch them off guard.

I could tell Maria to ruin her D&D notes. Or to trash the place, or to break something she'd clearly put effort into. I could alternatively tell Fraser to say some horrifically mean shit. Or tell Leah to tell us all about her pre-transition life-

"What the fuck am I thinking? Fucking hell Coley, cool it..." I told myself. Intrusive thoughts were burrowing into my head as I thought about what I could do if I controlled each of them. But they were my friends, I couldn't do that... At least, I told myself I couldn't.

I urged myself to think of something smaller, something less... fucked up. My eyes wandered to Leah. Even in a goofy-ass costume, I still couldn't deny how beautiful she looked. I always wanted a makeup lesson from her... Why not make it a bit more exciting?

"Maria. Tell me what was going to happen if I failed that roll."

"I don't know."

My eyes widened. "You don't know? What do you mean you don't know?"

"I make it up as it happens."

I was stunned. Maria, the most meticulously put together person I know, just fucking makes it up on the spot? There was no way she wasn't fucking with me.

"You're bullshitting me."

Silence once again descended upon the room. My mind started thinking through other ways to try to prove that this was all some kind of fucked up prank.

An idea sparked.

"Leah. You've got your makeup, right?"

"Yes." She answered. Her absent voice replied quickly this time.

"You've seen that meme of the two girls on a bed, one lying down and the other doing her eyeliner or whatever on top of her, right? When I snap my fingers, we're gonna act that out. You'll fully embrace it. You'll be so in character it'll feel like you're just embracing your natural self. There will be nothing more important to you than doing my eyeliner like that and nothing will bring you more pleasure. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

I was starting to worry that she hadn't protested yet. Still, she could just be pushing me to the edge, waiting for me to back out. I walked around to her side of the table pulling her handbag out from underneath and scavenging through it for her makeup bag underneath all the chargers, drinks, and snacks she'd brought. I took it out and found her eyeliner - a liquid brush from one of the fancier stores in town. I placed it in her hand before tightening her grip around it, then moved to sit on a clearing in the floor.

My heart started to race. My mind couldn't decide what would be more anxiety-inducing between her actually acting out what I'd told her or receiving a flurry of insults at how much of a weird perv I was being. I gulped and held my hand up in clear view.

Snap.

Leah all but leapt out of her chair, looking at me with a longing gaze. In a moment of both fear and protest I held my hands in front of me as she reached the bottom of my length, though this only elicited an admittedly-adorable giggle from her as she lowered onto her knees. I felt my upper half ebbing closer to the floor until I was resting on it, staring straight up at the girl on top of me.

"Oh c'mon, not gonna let me in?" she laughed as gripped my wrists and threw them to the sides. I tried to push against her but her strength was far in excess of anything my flabby arms could put up. She shifted her knees to rest on top of my elbows, her full weight pinning them down as her ass pressed against my tits.

With her hands now free she removed the cap from the eyeliner and starting to lower her torso closer to mine.

I felt any resistance I had within me crumbling away. Every inch closer she got to me, the more I felt my a mix of anxiety and desire twirling in my stomach. Her beauty was so immense from this close: her lips perfectly full, her eyes so deep and easy to stare into and every little detail of her face seeming so immaculate. The sight of her above me was just irresistibly intoxicating.

My mind started to grow weak with lust. I knew what I wanted, and it was just within reach. I held my ground against my temptations but every millimetre she moved weathered away my apprehension.

"Stop." I commanded.

She held her position, still towering over me with her charming radiance. Her expression changed to one of inquisitiveness, staying partly in character.

I tried to ground myself: I took deep, slow breaths, tried to remember the rest of the room, the textures of everything - but every time I looked back up to her I fell back into a state of total enamour.

I started, ready to tell her to go back to her chair, to stop the act.

My voice perked up.

"I..."

I paused.

"I need you to..."

I couldn't do this.

"Kiss me."

I lost myself as her beauty descended upon me. I felt her lips placed upon mine, her hands running through my hair whilst her legs moved to free me from her hold. The strawberry flavour of her lips bombarded my senses as I lost myself in her taste. I moved to caress her curves, running my hands along her torso - one finding her back to pull her closer, the other starting to embrace her chest through her cheap armour as her hand mirrored the gesture to fondle mine.

The flow of time seemed to disappear amidst the heat of it all. I had no grasp on how long it had been now. Two minutes? Ten? Twenty? The whole time had been filled with moans of "Leah..." and "Coley..." as we worshipped each others' lips.

My brain started to wake back up to what was happening.

I made Leah do this. I forced her to.

I didn't let her say no.

I didn't let her choose.

I couldn't go on.

"Stop." I mumbled out against her lips, though despite my protest our kiss continued as her weight pressed against mine. I moved my hand to just below her collarbone and pushed up, lifting her off of me. "Stop, fucking, stop!"

My breathing quickened faster than I could keep up with. I felt like I couldn't think through my senses, like my brain wasn't able to process everything surrounding me. Through hitched breaths, I commanded "Get up- get back to your chair."

Leah's face returned to it's empty expression as she robotically moved from atop me to her seat at the table. I raised myself with my elbows, still trying to take everything in. I murmured to myself, trying to make sense of everything happening, but nothing was helping.

I slowly rose to my feet, my body swaying as I tried to get some sort of balance. I was already mentally crumbling, I couldn't afford to do so physically.

Running through anything that might help calm me down I decided I needed some fresh air. I swore to myself in my state of disarray, tears starting to build in my eyes. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..."

My legs started to carry me around, pacing from one wall to another until an idea of escape came to me.

"Fraser, grab some weed from Maria's place and just meet me at the balcony."

The cool air was refreshing but more than anything it was the soft speckles of light rain that brought me back to lucidity. They didn't quite splash, rather they gently came to land on my face and came to a rest, cooling my flushed cheeks and masking my teary eyes.

I jumped a little when I heard the sliding door open. I turned to see a still-expressionless Fraser walk out, a baggie, lighter and pipe in hand.

Staring at their blank face was a reminder of my cruelty. I felt like a villain in front of them. Like I'd held my friend in my hand and banished them away to another place, tossing them to the side without care.

"Fraser, when I tell you to wake up, you'll continue to follow my commands if I give you any, but you'll be your perfectly normal self. Understand?"

With a nod from them and two spoken words from me, Fraser returned.

"Shit, Cole..." they muttered, carelessly throwing the smoking set to the small table next to the door and wrapping me in a hug. My body fell into their hold as I laid my head on their shoulder, occasional sob-induced shakes flowing through me. I felt a hand gently stroke through my hair, quiet whispers of comfort calling out to me. Their exact words held no real meaning to me, but it was the gesture that helped make me feel a little less horrible.

After a few melancholic minutes of crying I turned my head up to look at them, now embracing them just as tightly in my arms as they had been holding me. "Fuck, Fraser..." I mumbled out. "Am I, fuck, am I a bad person?"

They brought my head to rest against their chin, still stroking my hair. Their silence terrified me.

I whimpered against them, half pleading. "Comfort me. Please."

It was a few seconds before I heard the vibrations of their voice echo onto me.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, Coley. You're okay, Cole. You're gonna be okay."

"She's my friend, Fraser. Our friend. And I made her do that. I never asked her if she wanted to, if she'd be okay. I betrayed her. How could a fucking friend do that?"

A soft sigh came from my friend as they continued to comfort me under the rain. There was a small pause before Fraser replied, presumably working through their thoughts.

"Coley, I'm not sure I can convince you. Especially when it's hit you so hard. Hell, to be honest, I'm still not sure I understand what's been happening." My head was tilted back a little to lock eyes with them. "But I know you. And I know you're not a bad person. I know you're my best friend... as much as I appreciate the happy herbs Maria gives out."

I let out a silent chuckle against them.

"Seriously, Cole. I know you. And I know you're not a bad person."

Fraser's words helped. Though I still couldn't help but feel a deep anchor of guilt pressing down on me from within. The tears had stopped now, but I still needed their comfort.

Fraser's soft voice broke the prolonged silence.

"I do need to say though. I think you made a mistake, and that you shouldn't make it again. I think we need to talk to the others about this."

A small part of my mind twinged up at those words, grated by their meaning.

"What do you mean?"

"I... Look, Cole. That was a weird feeling. Even now it's weird. Thinking back on it is just, fucking bonkers. Don't you think that it's only right we talk to the others?"

Some part of my mind, some rational part, knew that Fraser was right. They were all my friends. And I didn't want to use them like toys, like I'd done to Leah. That wasn't right.

But still, that control, that power...

I looked up to Fraser. "Why do we have to tell them now? Wouldn't it be easier to talk about this another time?"

Fraser gave me the same stare a parent makes when bargaining with their kid. "Cole, you know that we need to talk to them now."

I started to slowly back out of their hold. I couldn't handle them treating me like some immature child.

"What, and ruin one of the last nights we have together before we all fuck off for summer? Is that how you want to end the year?"

"Coley!" They recoiled, a mix of emotions flowing through their face that I couldn't quite discern.

"Coley, just, you just need to calm down, please. You know that what happened back there wasn't right! You admitted as much!"

"Maybe I do, and maybe it wasn't! But, just, stop being so self-righteous about this! Do you really believe I can't think all this through myself?"

Fraser's splayed hands rose as they took a step back. Their next words came slowly, "Woah, woah, okay Cole, I'll stop - I'm sorry-"

"Seriously dude, just-- just fucking stop!"

I froze. What had happened earlier was already happening again.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I lost it for a second."

I focused my eyes back upon Fraser. I saw them hurt. Hurt by me, hurt by my words. I was losing myself - hell, I was scared I was already lost.

I knew I could fix this quickly. This was just a fleeting moment of me acting up.

And I could change that so easily.

The words slowly started to stumble out of my mouth. With my throat starting to croak up I slowly uttered, "I... Fraser, forgive me. Go back to comforting me. And be okay with me telling you to do those."

Just about as soon as those words left my mouth I felt a sinking feeling of regret and guilt.

I looked toward the tall, lean figure in front of me. I looked up to the face of my friend and saw their expression go blank, just for a half of a second, before life returned to their eyes. I was caught in another embrace, my arms not moving to match their hug. After a little while they spoke back up.

"Hey, it's okay... I can't imagine what's spiralling around inside your head right now."

I'm sure they spoke just like they always had, but in my mind it rang hollow.

"What do you say we take a few puffs to calm down, then we can head back in and just... See how we're feeling? Huh?"

I broke off of them gently, just about managing to hold myself upright. I brushed up a hand along my arm in an anxious fidget and nodded.

Soon enough Fraser had the green packed and the lighter heating it, playing some Low Roar through their Spotify. We shared the bowl, them being much more generous than normal. They'd always been a real goblin when we smoked (every time the gang agreed to take three puffs each they'd be sneaking in at least five), but they were much more willing to let me take all I needed now.

It still bothered me that I couldn't tell how much of that was them, and how much of that was me.

They wrapped an arm around me as we smoked over the balcony, watching the few diamonds in the city sky twinkle around, more fading in the longer we looked.Soon enough I felt the waves of tranquility and numbness wash over me.

After we finished the green and waited to wallow in a few more tracks, the two of us headed back in. Before we went back into the dining room Fraser took me by my shoulders, looking into my eyes.

"You'll be okay?"

"Yeah. I think. I hope."

They gave a small nod back to me.

"You will."