Birth of an Analyst

Part 8

Not for those under 18 (or whatever the legal age for this sort of stuff is in your area). If you’re not that old, Boo! Go away now. If you are offended by graphic descriptions of sexual activities, especially non-consensual ones, then don’t read this. All characters and situations are fictional.

Copyright 2022 greyscribbler@yahoo.com

Archived on the Read Only Mind web site by permission of the author. This story may be downloaded for personal archiving as long as this notice is retained.

Madison went to stand up. She made it half-way. Then sat down again. Leaving her room to go to the university would mean something. Ethan would be there. He was always there. Sometimes the two of them seemed to be the only students who cared about their PhDs.

Nervously she glanced at her door.

If she went to the University, she’d have to make a decision. Even doing nothing once she got there would be a decision.

Well, I wouldn’t do ‘nothing’. She’d work on her PhD. That would be something. But she’d have to do something about Ethan. Or not.

There was a tingle from her arse at the thought. Her arse was so empty.

I want to know what it feels like to have a cock in my arse. It will feel so good.

She did want to know. Madison wanted it so bad. Wanted a cock filling up her arse, impaling her. Her breath caught at the thought, heat flowing from her centre. She needed it.

Her eyes fell on her dildo. She could use it, even if she never did in the mornings. It would take the edge away.

It’s better to be fucked by a cock than a dildo.

It was that voice. The one in her head. Her voice. At least, it sounded like her voice, so it had to be her voice. But it sounded so certain.

Ethan can fuck my arse. That was true. He could. But that didn’t mean she had to ask him. That would be a decision.

So would not asking.

I can’t ask a friend to fuck my arse. The voice told her that.

I can’t ask a stranger to fuck my arse. The voice told her that, too.

I want to know what it feels like to have a cock in my arse. It will feel so good.

She was back to that, her hand creeping underneath her as she sat, cupping her buttock. A soft moan escaped the brunette’s lips as her fingers slid over the curve of her rear, need shooting through her, imagining what it would feel like. The muscles in her hand tightened, fingers sinking into her flesh, the caress turning into a grope, visions forming in her mind, lust claiming her.

I want to know what it feels like to have a cock in my arse. It will feel so good.

It would feel amazing. Madison knew it. She wasn’t quite sure how she knew, but she knew.

But that didn’t mean she could go through with it, her stomach at dark pit of embarrassment at just the thought of asking someone to do it.

I mean, how the hell do you do that? That was her voice in her head, too. But it was nowhere near as certain. Just walk over to his desk and say “Hi. Want to fuck my arse?”

Madison’s head sunk between her shoulders at just the thought of doing that. She couldn’t see how she could do it. She couldn’t even just go to university and leave any decisions to then. Tempting as that was. Because if she did ask Ethan to fuck her arse, well… There were practicalities. Where would they do it? One of the meeting rooms? Not exactly romantic. But then she wasn’t thinking about a relationship. Just, …, having her arse fucked. Even if she could get over that, they’d need lube. She had that. But putting the tube in her bag was making a decision. It was saying she might ask him.

It was all so hard, her insides knotting up.

The tube lay accusingly in front of her. It was at least half empty. Madison could remember all the times she’d used it. Lubing up her fingers, applying it to her dildo. Before slipping whichever between her arse cheeks, her world exploding in bliss.

I want to know what it feels like to have a cock in my arse. It will feel so good.

So much better than the dildo.

The voice told her that.

Madison believed the voice.

God, what am I going to do?

“Get a grip!” she told herself. “Think it through.”

Which wasn’t as easy as she wished it was, shame and lust warring in her. Forming her lips into a hard line, Madison made herself think.

Do I want to do this? Yes, she did. She very much did. She wanted a cock in her arse. The idea still carried more than a hint of shame, but Madison shock it off. My body, my choice. If that was what she wanted, well, the world could cope with it. She certainly wasn’t unique in having an interest in anal sex. Her mind shied away from any thought that it might be an obsession, or even an addiction. She wouldn’t think those words. Wouldn’t consider them.

Madison forget that the idea had even started to form.

She wanted it. Wanted it so bad, the images forming in her head again, another sigh escaping her lips as she squirmed where she sat. The warmth in her centre was turning to liquid fire, dampness escaping her pussy. She felt so wet she’d need to check her panties before she left.

But the way need was clawing at her, what was the point? Everything was slippery and damp and Oh, God.

She definitely needed to be fucked in the arse. She wasn’t going to get any peace until she did.

But she simply couldn’t imagine herself just asking Ethan.

Ethan can fuck my arse. I’ll ask Ethan to fuck my arse.

Well, yes, she could imagine it. But actually doing it? Just like that? She couldn’t. And anyway, it probably would have the exact opposite outcome to what she was after. If she simply asked him out of the blue, he was as likely to say no as to say yes. Madison couldn’t face that idea.

She could try what she’d done with that guy the other night. Flirting with him, seducing him. That might work. She was sure she could summon up her courage where it had failed her before. At least if it was Ethan.

Ethan can fuck my arse. I’ll ask Ethan to fuck my arse.

But if she tried that, Ethan might get the wrong idea. She wanted him to fuck her arse, not be her boyfriend.

There’s an idea. Friends with benefits. She could offer that. No, not friends. Colleagues with benefits. Ethan was a colleague, not a friend. Something told her that. Which was just as well.

I can’t ask a friend to fuck my arse. Far too embarrassing.

Offering to add some benefits to their working relationship would be far easier than outright offering up her arse. And then, once they’d got that far, she could ask him to fuck her arse. After…

Madison frowned. She wanted Ethan to fuck her arse. She wanted it so bad that the idea had her nipples tightening, more arousal leaking from her centre. She could almost imagine cumming just from the idea. But that didn’t mean she wanted him fucking her pussy.

If that’s what I have to do.

She’d pay the price. She’d pay any price.

Madison grabbed the lube, stuffed it in her handbag and headed out the door.

Sitting at her desk at university, Madison snuck a glance at her colleague. He’s not a friend. Not a stranger. He was a colleague. That made it alright. But even so, the idea seemed so much harder now than when she’d been alone in her room. How do I do this? It was one thing to think about a casual fling with a colleague. That’s all it will be she told herself. Nothing more. Certainly not a relationship. Not even something lasting. She just needed to know.

Whatever it was going to be, it was much easier thinking about it alone in her room than contemplating it when Ethan was only a couple of desks away. I can do this, Madison told herself, trying to summon up her courage. She could stand up, walk over to him. Start up a conversation. And then... She wasn’t actually sure what she could do then.

The minutes ticked by. She wasn’t getting anywhere. Not with her PhD. And certainly not with Ethan. She almost panicked when he stood up and left the room. Had she missed her chance? There’d be other days, but she wasn’t sure she could wait that long. She could barely focus on her screen, let alone do anything productive.

Fortunately, it was only a few minutes later Ethan retuned, coffee in hand.

Oh that’s what he was doing, Madison thought, relieved. That sense was replaced by another bout of panic as her fellow PhD student headed for her desk, not his. Her stomach turned into a fluttering mess of butterflies.

“Hi,” Ethan greeted her nonchalantly.

“Um, hi?” Madison replied, unable to look at him. At least, she was unable to look at his eyes. She realised that her gaze was sneaking towards his crotch. Madison hurriedly focussed on her keyboard.

“Oh, I should have asked if you wanted one,” Ethan casually gestured with his coffee.

What, an arse-fucking? Madison stopped herself, her eyes going wide. He can’t know. It’s impossible. He just, can’t.

“Sorry.” Ethan added, seemingly oblivious to his fellow PhD student’s momentary panic.

“It’s okay,” Madison made herself say. He couldn’t know. She had to believe that. And It wasn’t like they got each other coffee. That was what people in a relationship might do. They weren’t going to be in a relationship. She was going to… She had to… Madison couldn’t piece the thoughts together, anxiety splintering any chance of coherency.

“So, I wanted to ask you something else.”

Is he going to ask me out? Her thoughts whirled from one possibility to another. Madison wasn’t sure what she’d do if he did. Maybe she should say yes. That might lead them going somewhere. And then somewhere alone. And then they might, well, have sex. And then she could…

But she didn’t want a relationship.

Ethan seemed to take her silence for permission to continue. “So, if someone was being conditioned into something they didn’t want, they’d likely get to the point where they started doing things they would never have done otherwise. Even things not directly related. And they’d notice that.”

He wanted to talk about his work. Madison didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. At least this was something she could get her mind to focus on. “Yes, that’s right. That’s probably the biggest safeguard in a way. A subject would likely notice their odd behaviour and start questioning it.”

Yes. Odd behaviour. Like wanting your fellow PhD student who you’d never go out with to fuck your arse. That is-

Madison thoughts splintered again, something blocking them. The thought vanished. She’d never had it. What they were talking about had nothing to do with what she felt or what she wanted. There was nothing unusual about what she was planning, no matter how anxious it made her feel.

“So they’d probably need some way of stopping the subject noticing how unusual it was?”

“Yes,” Madison agreed. “Although I’m not sure how they’d do that.” If there was anything unusual about what she was doing, she’d notice. Definitely. And she hadn’t. So there was nothing unusual.

Ethan nodded. “Yeah.”

For a moment, Madison just sat there. She knew that nod. It meant Ethan was satisfied with what they’d discussed. Which meant he’d probably head back to his desk. She didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t like she was wearing a dress like she had the other night. One with a hemline that was so short and a neckline that displayed her assets so temptingly. She couldn’t run her finger along that neckline.

“So, uh…” She fluttered her eyelashes. He probably thought she had something in her eye.

Ethan was looking at her now, an almost expectant expression on his face. She had to say something else. Maybe ask him if he wanted to go for a coffee? How lame is that? Especially when he already had a coffee in his hand. And who knew when it would be and maybe he’d think she wanted a relationship and it might not get her what she wanted.

Her arse was so empty, need pouring through her.

I want to know what it feels like to have a cock in my arse. It will feel so good.

“So,” she repeated. “I really like these discussions.”

“Hey,” Ethan shrugged. “No problem. I mean, it’s my thesis we’re helping.”

“No!” Madison cried, surprising herself. That wasn’t what she wanted him thinking at all. “No. It’s, uh, it’s helping me as well. Helping with some things for my thesis. Getting some ideas right.” God, she needed to get her ideas right. “And I’m really grateful. And I wanted to show you how grateful.” She wasn’t sure what she was saying. One hand was slowly sliding down her jeans clad thigh. She’d pushed her chair back enough from her desk so that he could see that. “I really am, uh, grateful.” Her face flushed with embarrassment.

“Oh, well, right,” Ethan smiled. “No problem. Thanks.”

“No,” Madison smiled, aiming for something seductive and wondering how close she got. “I mean really grateful. I’d like to show you how grateful.”

“Sure,” Ethan frowned. “Uh, how?”

Damn it. He wasn’t getting the idea. She needed this. She had to. Almost without thinking, Madison jumped out of her chair, grabbed Ethan’s hand and dragged him into the nearest meeting room, pushed him inside and slammed the door after them.

Madison yanked her t-shirt off. And then froze.

“Oh,” Ethan grinned, a shit-eating grin if Madison had ever seen one. “That sort of gratitude.”

“Uh, ah, eh.” Words wouldn’t form. She was in a room. Alone with a guy. Naked from the waist up except for her bra. Madison could feel the heat of embarrassment flushing her cheeks. They’d be turning red. It wouldn’t just be her cheeks. It would be her chest as well, the upper part of her breasts. He’d be able to see that.

“You sure about this?” Ethan asked, even if the grin on his face said he was confident about her answer. “I mean, you know, explicit consent and all that.”

“Yes!” Madison cried, surprising herself at her vehemence. She looked around nervously, even though they were alone. “Yes,” repeated, her voice falling to normal levels. “God, yes”

“Well then.” Ethan’s grin grew even wider.

Silence hung between them for a moment. Can I do this? Madison asked herself. Ethan wasn’t her type. She didn’t know him all that well. He wasn’t even a friend.

I can’t ask a friend to fuck my arse. So there was that. But they were going to, well, have, um, sex. To get what she wanted. Which was Ethan’s cock in her arse. Guilt mixed with the embarrassment. She was planning on using him. Just to get what she wanted.

Madison’s thoughts exploded as Ethan grabbed her, pulled her to him. He was kissing her. She hadn’t even thought about that. He actually wasn’t that bad a kisser. He didn’t trying just forcing his tongue down her throat, lips brushing hers before his teeth nibbled at her lower lip. His hands were caressing her back. Before she knew it, her bra strap was undone, the garment falling from her shoulders, one of Ethan’s thumbs stroking a nipple that was far more erect than Madison had expected.

Was that moan hers? She shouldn’t be acting like that. Not some needy, wanton slut in heat, half-naked, her erect nipples rubbing against some guy’s shirt. Some guy who wasn’t a friend, let alone a lover.

Ethan was taking off his shirt. Madison didn’t care. That wasn’t what she was interested in. Her eyes fell to his crotch, and the obvious bulge there.

He was kissing her again, Madison half-stumbling as he pulled her in. Her nose filled with his masculine scent, something firing deep inside of her, her eyelids fluttering as fingertips grazed over her breasts. He spun her around, Madison gasping as she felt his length pressed between her buttocks. She was so wet. Did he know? How could he know? Maybe he just wanted better access to her breasts. The feel of him pressed between her buttocks had her knees melting.

His hands were on her breasts, his lips on her neck. He knew what to do with those hands, circling her nipples, pulling so hard it was just the right side of pain. Her body was reacting to his, need radiating from her centre. Something made her turn around, her hands reaching for his cheeks, pulling his lips to hers. She wanted this.

“Not really the most convenient place,” Ethan grinned, as he stepped back, his hand to his belt buckle.

“No,” Madison mirroring his gesture as she agreed with him.

“Maybe we’ll find somewhere better next time.”

Madison’s eyebrows flew up. ‘Next time’? She hadn’t said anything about a next time. Hadn’t thought about it. But she was standing in front of him in just her panties and her nipples were so hard and she was so wet and had she soaked through her panties? She was so wet, she couldn’t tell. And she’d dragged him in here, so of course he thought she was willing and maybe he would fuck her arse. And it would be so good. And if it was that good of course she’d want to do it again.

Wouldn’t she?

She wouldn’t think of that now. Couldn’t think of anything. There was just the raw need. She wanted him inside her. Wanted him in her arse. But she couldn’t ask that. It was still too embarrassing. There had to be a way.

She eyed the table, headed over to it. her back to Ethan. Almost automatically. she slipped her panties down. She was naked now. Naked in front of this guy. What was she doing? Offering herself up like a piece of meat? Like some sort of eager, horny, slut. This wasn’t her. Madison didn’t care. She needed this. There was nothing odd about what she was doing, nothing for her to worry about.

Nothing unusual at all, something blanking out her thoughts.

She didn’t even question were the condom he slipped on had come from.

She placed her hands on the table, arched her back, offering herself, offering everything she had. Fingertips danced over her pussy, circled her clit. Where had Ethan learnt that? He obviously had experience from somewhere. She was almost begging for it, would be if she could form words. She was going to cum…

A mewl of disappointment as his cock slipped into her pussy rather than her arse turned into a moan, Ethan taking her slow and hard. One of his hands reached around, teasing her clit, playing her like an instrument. His thumb pushed down harder as his pace picked up, harder, faster. So deep, Madison cumming almost before she realised her crest was racing at her.

It wasn’t enough, Not nearly enough. It wasn’t what she wanted.

“Fuck me,” she moaned. “Fuck my,” her voice almost failed her then, she almost swallowed the words. But she didn’t. “Fuck my arse.”

“Bit of a problem there,” Ethan whispered. “No lube.”

Oh God. She’d left it in her bag. She hadn’t thought. Madison froze, Ethan’s cock so deep in her pussy. She couldn’t miss this chance. She didn’t think she’d have the courage to ask again. She needed it.

“I’ve got some,” she muttered, hoping desperately he wouldn’t ask why she just happened to have it with her. What was she going to do? She’d have to leave the room. She could throw some clothes on. But that would take time. So much time. And she needed her arse filled.

Grabbing her t-shirt, Madison slipped out the door, holding the flimsy garment to her chest. It wouldn’t help if there was anybody there, if anybody saw here. Her face was a beacon. But she had to do something.

Desperately Madison plunged through the contents of her bag, cried in relief as her hand wrapped around the lube, then scurried back to the room. She almost sobbed as she saw that Ethan had fallen to half-mast while he waited.

“Let me, um,” she stumbled, wrapping one hand around his pole, working it, lubing it up, preparing it for.... She needed it, even if she couldn’t meet his eyes. She couldn’t believe she was doing this, jacking off a cock so it could fuck her arse. But she had to.

I want to know what it feels like to have a cock in my arse. It will feel so good.

She was so close, so desperately close, relief flooding through her as Ethan’s cock responded to her ministrations. Eagerly, Madison spun back to the desk, her hands supporting her again as her back arched.

She looked over her shoulder, made herself meet his eyes. And said “Please.”

Ethan advanced on her, she could almost feel it, her arse calling out in need. She almost lost consciousness when she felt his tip at her rosebud. Her hands formed into fists, willing herself to stay aware. This was her chance. It was going to be…

Madison’s thoughts exploded, her voice crying out, as Ethan’s cock forced its way inside. Her legs shook, her nipples so hard, her pussy so wet. She was burning up, waves of pleasure destroying her. He was pulling out, thrusting in again. Once, twice, her orgasm crashing over her, obliterating everything but the glorious pleasure.

She collapsed on the desk, her hands unable to support her, her breasts pushing into the hard surface. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was the heaven that was Ethan fucking her arse.

She came again.

And again.

She couldn’t focus on how many times.

(To be continued)