My fingers hooked on the bracelet I wore, each bead showing different parts of a dragon to form it completely, when looked as a whole. The feel of the scales carved into it was rough against my skin as I pulled and turned the thing on my wrist, but—I could calm down and take a few deep breaths.

The door stood in front of me, an impenetrable wall, despite the fact I knew it wasn’t locked. Servants milled past me, none of them caring that I was standing in front of the dining room—not like I fault them for it, there was no virtue in meddling in another family’s business, especially not when that family was the one paying them.

No sound came through the door either, not letting me any foreknowledge of what my parents might have been talking about while they waited for me to come inside. After all, dinner had been served, and the longer I stood outside, the colder the dishes would become—and the sharper my Mother’s tongue.

I bit my lower lip, trying to find a smattering of willingness inside of me, just to grip them all together. My lungs swelled with anxiety, pressing and squeezing my stomach with every breath I took. The breathing I took wasn’t helping, not just yet.

The carved claws in my bracelet dug into my fingers as I deliberately gripped them tighter, knowing that was the only way for me to feel something more—something else than the constant churning in my gut.

Everything still swirled comfortably, but the pain was an anchor. Just a little something that allowed me to finally let the bracelet go… and opened the door. No more running away—or at least not right now. That option wasn’t one I could pick lightly. The hinges moved smoothly, not a single screech happening as I walked in, taking in everyone’s position immediately.

Father sat at the head of the long table as usual, his glass of wine untouched—that couldn’t mean anything well—although his plate of food was already half-gone. Mother sat on another side of the table, on his left. She was holding the glass, swirling it slowly… all while watching me, her blue eyes cold like the ice. Her food was untouched, in comparison.

“So the guest of honor has finally decided to grace us with our presence.” Her words were clear, painfully neutral as she finally took a little sip from her own wine.

I decided to ignore her this time, taking my place on the right side of my father… two chairs down. The other two were for my older brothers, who hadn’t gone home ever since they had married. The oldest brother was together with one of the Emissary, and had pulled our whole family into a better position. Both of my parents were painfully proud of him, even from when I was small.

My second brother, meanwhile, had ended up becoming a guard—although our parents had refused his request on becoming part of the unit who would be bonded with our Gods. They had said that was what the Gods told our Father when he asked, for each part of the Guard need to be approved from Them, but I didn’t get why. Our family had been loyal for generations, as far as I knew and studied.

“Are you not going to even give me a reply? I thought I raised you better than that.” More neutrality, but I knew this was a warning. Merely a start to how this talk would be if I decided to be too bullheaded.

So, instead of digging into the surely already cold food, it was unfortunate. Today was a Gar’zal meat, slow cooked and roasted, with lentils and mosses on the sides. Completely celebratory, and I was unable to eat it when it was piping hot.

I smiled at my Mother in reply—my Father didn’t care much for this thing we were doing, and I could see him already starting to eat his own dish anyway.

“I apologize, Mother. I figure you do not wish for me to give you any sort of excuses.” A smile, bright and painfully fake—although I didn’t know if she would care—spread on my face like a disease. I kept it plastered there, knowing better than to take it off for a single moment.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I started to cut onto the meat. The meat parted easily, not in testament to the knife’s sharpness, but how soft it had become. And when I used my fork to pick up a pile of moss with this cut, I could see how juicy it was—Mother had, surprisingly, approved of this expense. A bit of warmth easily burned in my stomach, even as I tasted how cold it already became on my tongue.

“Good. You are finally learning the worth of your excuses.”

All that warmth shriveled and died, as pressure squeezed my chest. Red filled my sight for a moment, my breathing harsh—and the knife scratched the plate, the screech jarring me out of my thoughts. Everything still roiled about within my body, my limbs trembling.

She didn’t care one whit of my reaction, merely giving a sniff at how I was being before cutting me even further. “Is there a need to send you to study with Madam Shella again?”

My tutor for years, and someone more severe than Mother. This was more of a threat than anything serious, luckily. “No, Mother.” I said, deciding to not dwell upon it for too long. I tried and failed to stop my shaking, but at least she wasn’t commenting on that.

Father meanwhile didn’t give any sort of reaction, merely dabbing the corner of his mouth with a handkerchief before speaking. “I shall take my leave now. Listen to your mother now, Lyssa.” He said, eyes looking at me while saying that—and making my stomach twist. He turned toward Mother soon after, standing so he could lean forward and kiss her cheek with a smile. “Good luck, my dear.”

“Of course, dearest. I’ll finish handling this.” Mother’s smile was warm—but it was all aimed only at Father, and when she turned to look at me again… well, even a Gar’zal has a better smile, and that was a cold-blooded beast.

“Your Father and I have talked.” She started slowly, looking at me as if she was already tired to tell me all of this. I kept my mouth shut, trying my best to calm myself down by tucking away a few parts of my hair behind my ear. Luckily, she didn’t deem it important to pare me down a little more. “You have finished your schooling with excellent marks, and even the Emissaries are pleased with your excellence in various subjects, but especially the magic and ceremonial duties.”

Sliver of warmth and pride.

Despite knowing how she just acted moments ago, I couldn’t help the burst of happiness in my chest. Tight and tearing me up all at once, but I did my best to hold back the lump in my throat while blinking away the tears that had formed. No answer came from me, nor did my Mother was seeking any answer from me, anyway.

“With that, it had been decided that you shall be married to Duke Valius, son of Lord Theremus. He should be a good match with you—his marks is excellent as well, so you two will have some topic to talk about.”

My hand stopped moving. The pressure from before increased, the tight feeling within my chest bore down on me—flattening everything else burning inside me. I struggled to take a breath, my lungs seemingly not expanding despite my attempts to inhale and exhale.

“W-what?” I managed to say, despite the way it choked and lodging itself within my throat.

“You should be glad—this is one of the better choice we have found for you. There’s not many eligible and appropriate bachelor for a young woman like you, here in Dragon's Embrace.” She didn’t even look at me any longer, having moved on to eating the food on the table.

Gaping, I tried my best to not let anything appear on my face—my feelings swirled inside my chest, a maelstrom I was barely able to hold onto. Nearly slamming my utensils down, they still ended up hitting my plate with a clatter.

Mother of course looked at me sharply at that, a rebuke clear within those eyes.

So many things burned in my chest, words that were begged to be said. And yet one stare was enough to douse any of the fire, and I merely looked away instead.

“I… can I not support the compound another way?” My words wobbled from all the tears I held back. This future—it was why I had thrown myself into studying, ignoring nearly everything else except to make myself better and better. Studying until my fingers and eyes hurt, ignoring when my body ached—all in hopes to gain the attention of one of the Emissaries. The Dragon Gods themselves were also possible, but I never really hold a candle toward that.

No, all my focus was hoping for one of the Emissaries to see, and then they might recommend me elsewhere. Seeing my ability to obey orders and willingness to study hard… And yet, all it ended up becoming was something like this.

“This is what has been decided, Lyssa. You should be proud and happy that you don’t need to do anything hard.” Mother motioned toward the spread of food we were eating—despite the fact I had stopped ever since she dropped this piece of bad news to me. The food I had eaten sat heavily in my stomach, nearly unsettled me just enough to puke them out. “Why can’t you just be happy with what you have gotten?”

My jaw tensed, and my mask nearly dropped. The smile I still kept forcing on my face was getting painful to keep up.

I had seen my mother’s life, the way she was always so acerbic with everyone—except my father. With him, she’s all smiles, always saying yes—and in return, he also gives her the freedom to do whatever she wanted. Maybe I was being too judgmental without knowing how it truly was between the two of them, but Father never interfered, while Mother ruled the family with an iron fist.

“Okay.” was the only thing I knew I could say, any other words probably would lead to Mother being angrier—or worse than that, tightening the security around the house.

I might have given up right now, but it was more of a tactical retreat. Understanding Mother just meant I knew that fighting her at whatever she had decided on was a fool’s errand.

The best way to win against her, was to never fight her at all.

I pushed my face into my pillow, feeling the rough scales stuffing against my skin, albeit slightly mitigated thanks to the thicker fabric. Storms raged inside my chase, a swirling feeling I couldn’t really take hold. Tears too, fell from the corner of my eyes as I shuddered on the bed, not wishing to even look around my room.

Not too big, but also not too small—I barely had anything decorating my place, beyond whatever furniture my parents had bought for me. Everything’s here was theirs, and I was never, exactly, gone wanting—although then again, no one in Dragon's Embrace would be in need. The Temple was always accepting more people, as the Emissaries and the Dragon Gods need more people for… whatever odd jobs they needed them to be.

I never really thought about them, but right now, as I laid here—I wondered if I should try to go there. Turning my head, I looked right toward the window on the side, not too big, nor could I open the glass. But most people didn’t even have something like this in their room, while mine allowed me to peek down into the city down below.

Maybe I needed some change of scenery, instead of wallowing about my own fate like what I had been doing. Swinging my feet down to the floor—warm, thanks to the scales carpet spread all over the stone.

The glass was clear enough for me to look down, and I could see them. Rows upon rows of stonehouses dotted the place, with the open space of marketplace more toward the center of the town. Paths snaked through the various buildings, becoming bigger at places, so people could move their items easily. Unfortunately, the placement of the window made me unable to look upward, where the Emissaries and the Dragon Gods live. Only the guards, or people bonded with one of the Emissaries or the Dragon Gods who could even be allowed to go up there… That was the only place to see the sky as well, as the Dragon Gods preferred easy access of going in and out of Dragon's Embrace.

Sighing, I looked away, turning around and back to my room. Hopelessness easily pressed down upon me, whispering and telling me that there was nothing I could do except to wait and did everything my parents wished for me to do.

I could give up.

Or I could grasp the other possibility that had been forming in the back of my mind, ever since I was looking at the end of my education. As my graduation came up, I was realizing that it was likely I would have to become a wife, a mother like Mother did. Not to disparage her, I just couldn’t accept that as my life—I shuddered at the thought, closing my eyes for a moment.

No need to dwell on it. So I moved toward my bed instead, slowly pushing away the mattress—to show a deep, small hole I had sculpted from the rocks that made my bed’s foundation. Reaching inside, I grabbed out a small bag, one I had made for this whole situation in the first place. The worst case scenario.

For a moment, I stared at the leather pack, a worry gnawing in the back of my head. I had been so certain, but what if someone had found it? I shivered, and while I convinced myself that if one of the servants had found it… they would report it to Mother, and she certainly would have words.

In the end, I still opened the drawstring on top, determined to check because I would lose nothing by doing it. I rummaged inside, feeling everything’s inside. Just a few coins, food and a bottle I could use to keep water, as well as a few scales I had picked loose from my own mattress. They were mostly there for their heating properties, which kept everything inside slightly warm and dry.

Putting my face into the bag, I also took a few deep sniff—and merely gotten the sharp scent of dried meat, as well as of hot air, nothing else. Nothing had been changed or tampered with, as far as I knew.

With supplies secured, all I could do was stand there, uncertainty eating my guts. Because now I really had to plan how to get away and… everything, instead of just letting life continued around me. That was how I had lived in the past—probably ever since I was able to think for myself, if I was honest. As I saw the way my parents looked at me…

But I couldn’t stay. And that was the only thing I could hold onto, as I stuffed the bag into my bed’s stone again. I just needed to find a chance, before it would all be lost—my deadline would be in a few weeks, as the engagement would surely be constantly pushed between the two of us.

Nausea still swirled within me, but I managed to hold it back with the certainty I was doing something about it.

Today’s the Bonding Ceremony.

I should be coming, at least as support for my friends who would be finally meeting the Dragon Gods they would be joining together with. Or the Emissaries, really. They didn’t always pick anyone every year, but when they did, well… it was always a whole thing. A ceremony for everyone to be festive in, where only the ones who were of age could join. All the children would be all have to stay inside the house, for that was what the Dragon Gods decreed.

We knew better than to break that. Chains snaked across my body, binding and tying me down from even thinking of trying.

But that didn’t matter any longer. I had become of age, and was now allowed—even invited. The only reason I was staying in the house was how I had pretended to be sick, to whimper and ask pitifully that I didn’t think I would feel good enough to do whatever it was within the Ceremony. No one really pushed me on that, even if my Mother did snidely say that this would be the best opportunity to be closer with my ‘beloved’.

So I harshly coughed, forcing my body to shudder and gasp, making my voice slightly raspy—and that was what finally convinced my Mother that she should leave now.

‘We’ll go find one of the Emissary about that sickness once I’m back.’

Her words still echoed in my ears, a shudder passing through my body at that thought and memory. She had taken away my wishes, deciding it unilaterally without my consent. I—I hated it, but I knew I couldn’t even fight her. Father was on her side, and my brothers never got the same pressure. So I was left with only one path, no matter how much I hated it—or even knowing if I could survive it.

Escaping was the only choice left. Maybe I was merely convincing myself, that perhaps there were another way. But I couldn’t see it, there wasn’t any possibility I could change Mother’s mind—and all that would do was signalling Mother to watch me closely, to not let me go out of her sight. So rather than fighting, escaping would be the better choice.

What about the future and everything else? I could consider the future once I get out and reached some other cities. Someplace where I could be myself, free and not forced… I hoped there would be another place. Even a village would be acceptable.

All of these questions were borne from anxiety and making me reconsider my choices, that perhaps, escaping wasn’t as good of an idea than I first thought.

No, no. That couldn’t be. Because staying meant I would marry him and—and I didn’t wish for that, not at all. My chest felt tight at the thought of that happening, at how sweet I had to be with him, just like Mother was.

I clutched my chest, trying to just… breath for a few moments. Trying to calm down the tumult within me. It still took too long before I was, at least, fine to think again, my mind slightly clearer than it was moments ago.

Breaking down was for future me to do, while present me had to find a way out.

So I first grabbed my bag from the hole within my bed, before I went on to grab a few changes of clothes. Those were the only one I didn’t put in just yet because I knew the servants would be suspicious of missing outfits. But with this plan…well, no need to worry about that. They would know I wasn’t here anymore when they get into my room. With that done, I knelt on the stone flooring. Not touching the scaled carpet or anything else, just myself right against the rocks. I put my hand down, letting my palm feel the slightly cool, but rough surface before closing my eyes.

Warmth trickled from within myself at first, trying to seek any way out. My heart beat gently inside my chest, a steady thumping that allowed me to grasp it as my base, to calibrate and finally calm down the little unrest going on inside my mind. Right here, right now, what I needed to do was ensuring I wouldn’t be swept away by my own magic—and that could only be done by calmness.

‘Keep yourself calm, and your magic will be controllable. If you are angry, however…’

More and more of the heat spread further inside my body, steady with each heartbeat. I smiled, feeling incredibly in control, understanding how I was able to poke and prod my magic toward what I wanted them to do—and that was to go toward the stones, to spread across my room.

The senses came gradually, not in a way that allowed me to see everything. But let me knew the slight pressure of the air, ignorable until it wouldn’t be. The humidity, making water form across my surface. More and more washed over me—of spores, unable to be seen and yet so clear over the cracks of the rocks. The heavy pressure of a huge stone—my bed—on top of the flooring. And the carpet, tickling and pressing, but not so much I had an issue with them. Insects too, were thriving within the walls, ones I couldn’t see but now knew.

Those weren’t the end of it, and yet I had to focus. To breath and look at it all as one instead of the many different things across the surface and insides.

It was a struggle, to try hunkering down and pulling back, away from the many, many sensations brushing within my mind. Being a rock was a better state of mind—but I knew better than to try keeping myself like that.

I breathed, deep enough I could feel the swell of my chest through the still almost-overwhelming amount coming from the stones. That was my anchor, the way I slowly backed away. Looking at them all as a whole, instead of many.

Slowly and steadily, I could grasp my whole room at once… and I pushed more of my magic, holding tightly on an image in my mind. Of an almost transparent bubble, protecting the whole place and pushing away any sound and anyone else than myself.

The fire within myself immediately rushed out, more than happy to find themselves filling in the air and stone—I almost wanted to gather them back, the sudden change of warmth into enough cold to make my body shiver—that was nearly too much. But I held back, knowing better than to break my own working.

Seconds passed, every one of them feeling like a minute—until I could feel the magic stop rushing out of me, the surrounding saturated enough with my magical power. Then, and only then, did I finally opened my eyes and took my hands off the stone.

A thin membrane of blue surrounded my whole room, a bubble had been manifested into reality through nothing else but my will. It expanded slightly, slowly getting into the walls until I couldn’t see it.

With this, I could postpone my parents finding out I wasn’t within the room for… a while. Maybe a night, which hopefully would allow me to get far enough away from them. At least they didn’t try to destroy my privacy completely, even if I knew that they would get in anyway, after a few hours.

I grabbed my bag and swung it onto my back, and before I left the room, I couldn’t help but look around at first. Just seeing how… empty it was. At how it was merely filled with notes and studybooks I had filled in myself throughout the years. No knickknacks, except for the few Dragon Gods accessories I had ended up getting because I couldn’t help but pray to them.

So empty… maybe I would find myself while adventuring.

I couldn’t help but smile at that thought before I walked out—determined to avoid any guards from seeing me and finding a way out.

Sneaking out of my family house wasn’t too hard. Everyone that could have reported me had gone to the Bonding Ceremony, and then it was easy to find a way out.

It was only when I had arrived outside that I started to feel the anxiety gnawing on me, the worry pressing down and making it hard to breath. My heart beat wasn’t becoming too fast—but I could feel my hands growing clammy as I looked to the outside of the family’s house.

Soon I could get away from this all.

Excitement bubbled within me as well, even if I knew that I shouldn’t feel like that right now—I hadn’t managed to reach my goals after all. Right now, all I managed to do was the easy part.

Even when I was inside the garden, I walked through the shadows, not wanting anyone to see me. It would just be my luck if there were a pair of guards walking through outside, right at the moment I was passing through the private yard.

My heart hammered faster inside my ribs as I slowly walked through, careful to stay near the walls while my ears and attention stayed fully on the other side of the wall. Each step made it a little easier, especially as I didn’t hear anything, beyond the cry of insects and chitter of other small critters living within the Dragon's Embrace.

No footsteps or guards’ chatter with one another… And as long as that held true, I didn’t have anything to worry about. At least each step I took was kind of muffled with the mosses growing beneath me. I shouldn’t leave any footprints too, as I continued to walk, still taking great care to not ending up slipping because the mosses were slick from water. The gardener had just watered them this morning, and if I wasn’t careful, I would fell and all my efforts would be for naught.

I didn’t know how long it took me, but eventually I finally got out of my house—and now it was time for me to find a way to navigate through the paths without being spotted from afar. In the past, the magical lamps on the road’s sides were a source of comfort. But now with my goal of running away, they looked more like obstruction, as if Dragon's Embrace itself wanted me to stay.

I shook my head away from those kinds of silly thoughts, before looking left and right to see whether I had missed seeing any guards or not.

Luckily, no one jumped at my sight, and I let out a sigh of relief. Now would be the hard part—to get through the city without anyone seeing me. At least with the ceremony going on, there were fewer guards walking around. They probably were focused around the area for that, guarding everyone there.

With delight singing in my veins, I started my descent.

Shadows were my friend, and with the way the houses were built close to each higher levels—I found the easiest way to get down without going through the open paths. I just had to be careful going through the fences on the side, and then… finding where the closest roofs were.

One by one, I jumped down toward the next level’s house’s roofs, before going down to the road… and then repeating the same thing. The only other thing I had to pay attention to was whenever I heard some noises, and I would always have to stay silent, heart hammering in my chest as I tried my best to listen.

Sometimes, I merely heard the noise of whatever critters living in the wilds. Sometimes… I had to duck down, keeping myself lying completely flat on the roof, fear squeezing my heart until coldness spread inside my body.

I couldn’t do anything. Any magic might just pinpoint them to myself—or even one of the Dragon Gods. They were always so sensitive to every working going on in the city.

But eventually, I managed to reach the lowest floor, which would be where I could get out from—and all I had to do was to find the guardhouse. I had hidden myself within the bushes near the slopes, eyes peeking out between the bushes to see the situation. Luckily, the guards were still scarce here.

I was around the right side of the city, which meant the guardhouse should be around the middle. Looking toward the left, I could see it, a small, unassuming building made out of stone, with a door and a few windows, even if I knew I couldn’t see it all from my side.

There it was, the last barrier to my freedom. I knelt there, beneath the leaves and all I could think of was… I wished I could just step forward right now, without caring who might see and walk out. No need to sneak out like this.

But I knew better than that. That the moment anyone in the compound saw me here, well… the patrols would just capture and threw me to the prison, to wait until one of the Emissaries or Dragon Gods to give their verdict. I shuddered slightly at the thought of failing when I could almost taste my own liberty.

No, best for me to find a way out. I looked around, noticing where the guards were. They were still walking around, steady even as they talked with each other more than their surroundings. Everytime they came close, I had to hunker down even further under the bushes, blood rushing inside myself as anxiety pestered me, twisting my throat.

Fear had started to nip me as well, slowly drowning me with anxiety the closer I became to my goal. I just… needed to reach the guardhouse, right next to that giant stone gate at the entrance.

I didn’t know how long I stayed there, body and hands and knees aching from the position I had to hold onto. Just being there, feeling my body digging into the soil—at least it wasn’t too wet. I kept my eyes forward, and did my best to not move despite my body wanting to twitch to a more neutral position.

Only when the pair of guards had walked out of the guardhouse again did I finally pay attention carefully—taking care to know when they would be too far from this place. And when I finally moved forward? I did it as fast as I could, while still ensuring I didn’t run. My steps were as soft as I could ensure it to be, while still moving fast enough. I never stopped looking around as well while I went, not wanting to be blindsided by anything.

My heart pounded in my chest the whole time, cold seeping across my muscles as I felt my stomach squeezing itself.

Perhaps it was merely a minute or two, but when I was finally in front of the door—I didn’t even think to do anything else, except to immediately open, walked in, and closed it behind me. I jumped at the sudden clatter—and saw my friend had jumped so far backward that the seat she had been sitting on had fallen down to the floor, while papers flew everywhere. Not merely content to fall to the tables and floor, I spied a few that had gone to the side, including a pair of bookshelves on the right side, each of them filled with so many documents.

Maria’s eyes were wide as she looked at me, mouth opening and closing a few times without a word—before she finally found her voice once more.

“W—what, Lyssa what are you doing here?” Her eyes were wide, and her right hand was steadily creeping toward the sword on her side. Her body was stiff, ready to attack as if I had been planning that.

My own eyes widened as I immediately lifted both of my hands—which made her stiffen, eyes narrowing at what I was doing.

“Are you—”

I cut her off, before she could have considered anything else. “No! This is not an attack or anything.” There had to be something she saw in my face that made her minutely relax, but her hand continued to stay on top of her sword’s hilt. “Just… I need your help.”

She stayed silent, standing right there while moving her stance slightly—ready to launch and attack me, if needed be. Even her eyes were occasionally flickering toward the door, probably hoping for the guards I saw leaving before to have heard something and come back. They wouldn’t be coming back until a few hours had passed, and the one who would let Maria out of her shift was still a while yet.

Of course, Maria had an emergency spell she could unleash, but even I knew that she wouldn’t do it unless I was truly attacking. No one wanted to ruin the Bonding Ceremony, not even me.

“Fine. Tell me what do you want then, Lyssa.” She sighed, her hand still not moving but… She was less tense now. “You are the most goody two shoes out of everyone in class, and now you are the one who did this, huh? Truly, always stay suspicious of the silent ones.”

I shrugged, despite the fact her remarks… hit me. I had subsumed so many parts of myself until I didn’t even know how to behave, any other ways than being good. All my wants and hopes were focused on being the best I could be, being smart, soft-spoken, not even trying to be rebellious if possible… and yet, all I had gotten was my parents not even giving me a scrap of affection, not even listening to me.

My chest felt tight, lungs struggling to breathe in for a moment. Yes, that sucked, and I’d be better off convincing my friend right now. Appealing to her sympathies might work, but… that wouldn’t be the best way.

“I just… want to leave.” I whispered, and the shock of even hearing that on the table made Maria jolt. Her mouth was open, horror clear in the way she looked at me. “Mother had just told me what my future is, and… I just can’t. Maybe she could, living happily with Father like that. But for me, to just be someone’s trophy wife…” I choked upon the words, and unable to continue. I didn’t want to think about it any further, when Maria could understand me anyway.

We were silent for a moment afterward, her digesting my words, while I just couldn’t find it in myself to say anything. The weight on my body didn’t seem to be lightened, but there was admittedly, some relief there.

“Won’t the Emissary will understand if you ask for it to be called off?” Maria asked, so earnestly while worrying over her lower lip—and I couldn’t help but let out a harsh bark of a laugh. She flinched then, and while I wanted to apologize, I just couldn’t find it in myself to really say it one way or another. “What? Isn’t that the best way? The Emissary always listened well to what we ask.”

I shook my head, lifting my hand up to forestall any sort of possible retort before I could have said anything. “They are the one who Mother talked with. They are the one who decides on it.”

Maria gave the ‘O’ of understanding, and she fell silent again. Just standing and watching me now, a slight furrow around her eyes as she relaxed further… and consider something within her mind. Hopefully to be on my side, but I had no choice but to wait, since I couldn’t read her mind.

At least her looks didn’t pierce me, peeling away the anxiety and digging into the core of myself. At least Maria’s relaxed now, not aiming to hurt me or anything—but I had to think of how I could get past her, because there wouldn’t be any guarantee she would be okay with my reasoning. Most people wouldn’t.

But the longer she stayed silent, with her brows furrowing deeper until I could see how deep her frown was—well, there were bits of hope sparking inside of me, not ready to become a full-blown fire just yet, but I wished for it.

Even if we weren’t close during classes, as I wasn’t a friend with anyone, I didn’t wish to hurt her—even if I knew I would do it. If the choice was to hurt Maria, or I had to stay… that’s the only one I would pick, everytime.

Slowly, I let a trickle of magic to slowly pour out of myself, from within me to my palms. Merely a gathering, all so I could just, fire it toward her if she ever showed the possibility she wanted to make me stay. Even merely convincing me would be enough trigger for me. I breathed, and I could feel more of my magic swelling up within myself, all ready for me to use whenever I wanted.

Maria… might notice, but she didn’t comment on it, so I figure that it should be fine. Instead, I waited for a bit longer, wondering if waiting would be the death of me instead. After all, my time to escape was slowly ticking down—the longer I waited, the closer the next rotation of guard would be coming.

“Okay.” Maria started, and I nearly jumped in surprise. My heartrate jumped for a moment, before I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. My hand jittered for a bit too, as the effort of keeping down the magic for just a bit longer starting to take its toll. “I might be… seeing your point. But are you going to be okay outside?”

The way she said the words felt different, somehow. No more panic or anything else tingeing her tone. All she had was patience, which she also directed at me as I blinked, unable to understand her words for a moment. Did she really say that? I was ready to just hurt her and yet…

“You looked incredibly stubborn, so I figured it’s best to see if you have prepared yourself.” A small, sad smile spread on her face. “I did hear how bad the outside was, though. Like okay, the merchants seem fine, but—the amount of monsters I heard living outside… Yeah, definitely not for me.”

Slowly, I felt tensions loosening across my body. I might still be suspicious of her, but… she was understanding. Besides, I did remember Maria being helpful to everyone back in class, always ready to give answers when anyone asked. I found myself mirroring the curve of her mouth, even if mine looked happier. “Yeah… got some food, water, money and some changes of clothes here.” I pointed at the small bag slung on my shoulder, the weight surprisingly not a huge issue.

Maria nodded in approval, and warmth immediately spread within my body. It was easier to smile and relax when the other party agreed with myself, for sure. Or, at least, not immediately dismissing what I was saying. 

“Good, good. Seems like you have prepared yourself, huh? Since when? You always looked like you wanted to go up in stature with the amount you studied.” Maria had completely opened up her gesture, her hands were no longer staying with her sword, but instead moving in accordance to what she had said. She was coming closer toward me and I couldn’t help but backed off.

She didn’t stop.

“This is kind of… my second idea.” I ended up telling her, hand rubbing against my bag strap as if to reassure me that yes, I still had all of my supplies—and even though I kept backing away, all until I ended up against the wall—Maria was so close to me, that I could see the way gold ringed her brown eyes, the color slowly subsuming her iris.

Warmth filled me further as I drowned myself within those eyes, my body relaxing further, the type I had long since correlated to when I could finally relax after a particularly long and hard day. My hands fell down to my side as I drank her gaze, feeling okay even as Maria’s hand started to gently ran across my arm.

“Since you aren’t going to change your mind…” Her words were gaining a sonorous quality, one that resonated inside my mind. “Why don’t I tell you where to go after this?”

I nodded and listened closely, feeling glad that Maria’s there to let me know where I needed to go next so I can escape.