My head pounded as if someone was hammering an ice pick between my brain. But I couldn’t rest yet, what with most of the city map still bare. The song of needs, to finish this responsibility, was what pushed me to continue even with the headache. All to ensure the Watcher would be safe. All the other groups were dangerous, and there weren’t any other choices, not really. So I just carefully breathed a few times, just a bit, just to relax that furrow on my eyebrows. Especially since I would be done with the East side soon. That was the most important part right now, since it would be Verata’s territory… 

Slowly, with familiarity I didn’t realize I had, I moved my finger to the biggest market there, the Wolmart. I closed my eyes, letting darkness surround myself, before I let my tight hold on my own power loose. The web spread at once, a variety of future to be seen and cataloged beneath my senses. My breathing roughed up as I tried to understand all of them, with their mix of images, complete with scent and sound. 

Clash of people in red, green and blue against the ones in yellow and black. Smoke filled the air, and fire burned through the building. Yellow and black people standing around the building, keeping peace. An unknown, ranting and raving while waving his gun against the cashier. 

Flashes of the future drove itself into my head, and I groaned as the pain intensified even further. They were all muddling together, and I had to piece them the best I could. I knew I could delve deeper, to find out even more possibilities, and my power would love for me to do that option—but I knew better than that. It was better to spread myself more to look at more territories than focusing too much on one. These would be the likeliest possibilities anyway. 

Verata protecting the building, as they got attacked by Trinity—but why? Spreading their territory? But there were other timelines, where the building was burnt down instead. If that was still caused by Trinity, then I had no idea why they put it on fire. Because that meant Wolmart would become useless, and the people there would likely be fired as it was being rebuilt… Which would make them resent the current gang there. I pinned that thought for a moment before delving elsewhere. 

A bigger show of force by Verata was likely to ensure the Trinity wouldn’t attack, and any fire was likely found before it spread everywhere. Although there was that gun-toting person… Was it related to the other timelines? I had to experience them all at the same time, and sometimes it felt like they just bled to one another. 

Didn’t matter. Still meant it was likely to have a major force placed there… I put the red pin to indicate the likely guard and response. I sighed, feeling the throb in my head as I looked at how little I have done so far. Merely three pins, and yet I wanted to put myself under the blanket already. Maybe add a cold compress against my eyes and forehead. 

But I couldn’t do that, there were still more places to check. Placing one of my hands against the edge of the table, I gripped it harder as I closed my eyes again, thinking about one of the big roads that lead to the East. My powers were always eager, unfurling itself at the forefront of my thoughts the moment I let it loose. 

A few vehicles burning, as one of Trinity’s leaders showed himself, fire blazing all around his body. Traffic jam, not a single member in sight, from Trinity or Verata. 

Not a lot this time, and yet my power still drove that pike into my skull. Lovely. I groaned, placing the yellow - warning pin upon it. I wanted to rest, but there were still so many places to look at. The school, the work district, then I should check both the roads to the North and South. Still many more, and I really didn’t want to. My head was throbbing, and even the shine from the lightbulb was enough to stab my eyes. 

But time waited for no one, and as I settled down again, about to do my next attempt… I could hear a knock from the door. That hit my head like another punch, and I put myself down onto the beanbag that someone conveniently decided to place in this room. It was even close to the table! I gladly took advantage, resting my head there as I just blissfully closed my eyes. I did five bursts already, and yet I knew there were still so many pins more to go. More places to check and look at. 

Another knock, which dragged out more winces out of me. “Come in.” I finally said, knowing that if they were insistent enough to do it twice, it might be something important. 

I didn’t see who came in, but her voice was clear anyway. “Ah, Robin, you have done so, so well…” Liyane said, her words sending uncomfortable heat through the bottom of my stomach. “I could see you wish to do more, but I’ll just let you feel as you were before first. See how that changes your mind.” If I could open my eyes, I was sure that she was smirking. A show of her superiority, not counting the fact she was my leader— 

There were no snaps of fingers, or anything that gave a sign something had changed. But the jagged pieces of feelings snapped up against one another, this time properly. I gasped as I jerked upwards, eyes staring against Liyane’s dark eyes. “What have you done?” was the only thing I could have said, as I realized what I felt towards Verata—at how much I had shown towards Liyane, the Watcher’s leader. 

This time, looking at the map still gave me a headache, even as I felt the usual churn in my stomach at how much information I was giving. The red points told her how much those places were worth to Verata herself, for that was why she was willing to push for more protections. Nausea rose up as I gripped the beanbag painfully, wondering what the hell could I do to even fix this. 

Liyane stepped into the room, closing and locking the door behind her. I could hear the click, but didn’t spend a single thought on why she did so. I was just looking and staring at the map, at the betrayal I was sure Verata would feel when she knew about this. How much disappointment she would have when she looked at me— 

“There, there, Robin. You are having too many thoughts in your brain right now.” The touch was gentle, merely a rub, and yet it was enough to make me shudder. My eyes closed involuntarily as I shivered under her fingers. “There’s no need to worry too much, my plan is going smoothly after all.” Liyane continued to rub my head, and every time, it felt like there were jolts of pleasure flashing through my nerves. Running all the way from the scalp of my head, to the heat pooling in my stomach. 

“I, I…” Even so, I still couldn’t shake the feelings away. The yawning chasm of sadness, as Verata told me in no uncertain terms she would have to let me go. For betrayals were the most unacceptable thing I could have done to her. My stomach churned as I bit my lower lip, as I tried to stand up, to push Liyane away from me. The comfortableness of the beanbag was, in some ways, dragged up even more negative feelings from me too. I didn’t deserve it, not at all. But Liyane forced me to stay still, to feel the plushness of an expensive chair. “L-let me go.” I murmured, despite knowing she would never do it. 

And she didn’t. Liyane kept me down, her hands far stronger than I ever give her credit for. “It took me quite the investment to get you here, so no. Besides… there’s nothing anyone can offer to let you go, not really.” She said, words oozing condescending kindness, as she continued rubbing my head. Moving slowly downwards and sending even more fuzz and cottons through my thoughts. It felt good, even if I didn’t want to ever say it out loud. Especially when the pleasure seemed to deaden the ache that was still giving me hell at the back of my mind. 

But everything else still felt wrong, even though I knew my current emotions were right. This was my proper feelings, my loyalty towards Verata and desire to keep them safe and away from other groups. To not like any of the others—and yet, there was that friendship I had built with Liyane. The black feeling of betrayal choked my throat as I remembered the built relationship. 

“I should get rid of that too, but it’s alright, we can work things out slowly… and you’ll keep working for me, for the Watchers.” Liyane said, and her hand slipped down towards my chest. She didn’t grasp my breasts, even if her fingers were playing against my nipple slowly, sending sparks down my stomach with the touches. “There’s no need to think it’s a betrayal—I’ll ensure everyone will be under my banner eventually.” 

I wished to say I tried to escape the moment I heard that, to get away from Liyane. But I was weak, and I grasped onto the fog she formed in my mind. I didn’t want to remember how I had betrayed Verata, because it didn’t matter why. I knew it would just make her even more disappointed at me, and yet there were promises under Liyane’s hold. And so I clung towards her, despite the fact she was the reason this all happened anyway. 

For she was warm, and I was cold. 

Verata and Watcher couldn’t be any more different than the way conflicts were solved. In Verata, there were almost none of it, even. It was a little bit hard to keep negative thoughts with another when our illustrious leader enjoyed connecting all of us together. Coordinating, ensuring we all understood where everyone else was. Feeling their thoughts and emotions, even if we couldn’t straight up read the words. In a way, it ensured we couldn’t really be spied on, and it helped to make all of us think of each other as a family or even more. 

Meanwhile, in the Watcher… I hadn’t seen a lot of people yet, but there was a shimmering hatred towards one another here. Not shown at all, especially not in front of Liyane, but there was a feeling in the air. A bit like when the two most popular groups met one another, and they had some bad blood. Very messy and not something anyone would wish to handle. But Liyane somehow did. Her power probably helped there, though. 

Which allowed me the prime position to see it straight on, with Liyane sitting at the head of the table and me behind her. She was tapping the table deliberately, a constant sound that made me tilt my head as I tried to split my attention between the two enforcers who worked with Liyane and Liyane herself. 

“Heri’s pretty much making the people not afraid of your existence, Miss Liyane. Especially when allowing them to go without even setting an example would mean they know that your rules can be bent with.” 

“You—how dare you twist my words! I was only warning them.” Heri scoffed out before immediately continuing. “They know they’ll have to pay in three days, or I’m finding them and show why us Watchers ain’t to be trifled with.” 

Liyane stayed silent, except for her finger. It was still drumming against the wood, a constant sound that seemingly dragged my attention towards it instead of anything else. I should be paying attention to the fight, right? It was hard, though, even if Liyane’s voice made it easier to do so. 

“So you two think that I should do the arbitration here, instead of asking anyone with more free time than I.” She started, her voice clipped and made my stomach churn uncomfortably. “Riley! Didn’t I tell you to not bring anything useless to me?” 

Another man, one I didn’t notice before, jerked up in place from the sudden call. He bowed low towards Liyane, a sheen of sweat could be seen on his forehead. “I apologize, ma’am. But they have been fighting like this for a while, and it is better for you to cut this off now.” He was shaky at first, but at the end of it, his voice was firm and clear. 

Liyane’s tapping slowly stopped as she listened, making me jerk slightly in place in realization. I was slipping, and my own thread of thoughts was swimming away like fish in a flowing river. They never came back to my hands. 

“I see. We’ll talk later, Riley, but I suppose now I should handle this.” She stood up, slowly pushing her own chair backward as she looked forward. Perhaps staring at those two, as the two of them looked incredibly uncomfortable now. “Tom. I know you are excited to be one of my enforcers… But merely scaring others isn't what enforcers do. If I want to, I can just make everyone fear me.” 

A snap, and Tom’s eyes immediately widened like saucers, his whole body trembling as he jerked in place. “S-Stop. Please.” He choked out, thick with dread, full of anxiety. The shakes had now grown too, not just his body but going all across his limbs and head. Now he was even starting to cradle his head, trying to curl up and making himself smaller under Liyane’s sight. 

Then she merely turned towards Heri. Who was at first looking smug until he realized that Liyane was looking at him… and she wasn’t happy. “You had been working with me, Heri. Longer than Tom, and I thought that would mean you understand how precious my time is.” Despite the words not even being aimed at me, I felt cold as I listened, a shiver passing through my spine. “It is time for you to be reminded of what it meant to be my subordinate.” 

No snaps this time, but Heri too, was acting the same as Tom—although he was letting out a small, keening scream every few seconds. It made my stomach churn even worse, especially as Liyane waved Riley away. “Go, take these two out of my sight. I want my alone time with my little bird now. You got my show off, let me have my toy.” 

Riley didn’t answer except for giving his assent before he left, all the while bringing those two with him. As the door closed behind him, we were finally left alone. Liyane and I, and now I could feel my stomach feeling funny once more. The trepidation was still there, the fear and nervousness as Liyane turned her chair around, looking towards me with a glimmer of desire in her eyes. 

“Robin… Do you understand why I kept you here, so close to me?” She didn’t move, but the way she was staring made me shiver as I looked away, unable to keep our eye contact. The chuckle she let out made me feel even worse, forcing me to dip my head even lower with red-dusted cheeks. “Did a cat catch your tongue, little bird?” 

It was mocking, and I shouldn’t answer at all. But if I had to talk with her anyway… Drawing back the courage I had, I took a deep breath before looking up again. I forced myself to look towards her dark eyes, even as Liyane was tapping her finger against the chair’s armrest now. It no longer was the sharp sound that made my head jerk towards it, but it still pulled my attention a little bit. Making me look towards the armrest instead of Liyane’s body. 

“No, I don’t really understand you. You were…” My friend. One I knew was part of the gangs, and yet you seemed to enjoy just separating the power and us. Just talking to one another in the afternoon in the café, reading books, drinking tea and coffee—it was relaxing. It was enjoyable. Even with this betrayal, I could feel the pang from the realization I would never do it again. No more looking and talking with one another, inane chatters that made no sense and yet important to avoid our darker life. No more merely smiling and relaxing as we settle down in place. I trailed off, unable to say any of the words. The tap continued, filling the silence with its sound. 

My ears twitched, my eyes focusing upon her hand even as she didn’t stop. “True.” She said, as if understanding me without my explanation. Maybe she did. She could feel all those emotions that were running amok in my head, heck, she could even change any of those, and I wouldn’t even know. 

Even though I wished to scream, my thoughts felt weirdly calm, still in the same staccato as before. Just like the tapping, with Liyane giving me the same beat over and over again. 

A tap, an inhale. 

Another, I exhaled. 

The fuzziness from before slowly spread in my thoughts, not as fast as the static forming on the television, but I could feel it. “Are you… using your power on me?” I whispered, even if I didn’t know what I wished for her to do. It felt hard to keep putting my head up, to keep tension across my body, so I wouldn’t just relax down and close my eyes. 

Wait. I already closed them, and it was taking all I had to try fluttering them open. 

“No… Well, a little. Doesn’t matter much though, it’s mostly just your focus, and you enjoy it when your thoughts are becoming slower, hm? Makes it easier to stop sinking into your power that way, after all.” 

The beat was becoming slower, and my breathing went with it. I kept the air longer, and exhaled it slowly when it was finally time. Easy to do. I found tension unspooling themselves across my muscles again, and I leaned easily to the chair. It was soft, supportive and didn’t take me out at all. 

“But…” Liyane was speaking again, somehow keeping the tone of her words running smoothly, pulling me into her flow without me taking any prompts out of her. “You wish to sink into my words, no?” She said, and I could feel a pressure on my chin as she made me nod in agreement. 

More steel melted away, leaving even less energy for me to keep my eyes open. The attempt was barely even giving me a sliver of distance for me to look through… “That’s alright. You just wish to listen, to understand and put my words into your mind.” She hummed, the words easily finding their way through the cracks. I had no protection here, especially as the relaxation made it easier to just nod and accept it all. 

I still nodded, when Liyane asked me. “It feels good, doesn’t it? To just listen, to not think of anything except for my words.” She didn’t even need to move my head again. I just did it without a thought, understanding and agreeing with her. 

Time passed slowly in this condition. Listening and obeying and understanding her words was sweet and easy, but eventually, Liyane would be dissatisfied with merely doing that. No, there would always be more things she would do to me. “Now, my little pet… Listen to me, hm?” She whispered, so close to my ears and making heat flare across my stomach. 

I could only mumble my agreement, not even knowing what she was aiming for me to do. “Yes, Liyane…” My head felt so empty and yet full of static, there was not a single tension left within my body too. It was nice. I didn’t remember the last time I didn’t have a constant worry niggling at the back of my brain, telling me to think of all the possibilities, the worse the better. 

“You’ll always be honest with me. No matter how embarrassing, no matter how much you dislike it, you will always give me the truth.” She said it this time, strong and without hesitation. The hand that had been holding onto me had moved down, trailing across my body gently, barely feelable through the outfit she had gifted me. “You’ll listen too.” 

My head bobbed up and down in understanding, in the sheer ease of just doing what she told me to. There wasn’t a fight to say no or anything. Just listening and obeying. Letting Liyane wrote down what she thought I would need in my mind, just so I would be her good girl. I shuddered slightly at that thought, a momentary ping of excitement rolling in my belly. A reward, to think the way Liyane wanted me to. 

She stroked my cheeks again, and I leaned towards it. Feeling her fingers brushing against my skin, the softness and warmth. 

“You are mine, Robin, my beloved caged bird.” She whispered, full of care and tenderness. Feelings I couldn’t dissect in my current situation, even as I relaxed further with the gentle caress she was doing all across my body. 

It was always the easiest to listen to Liyane, both back then and now.

The weather outside was nice, with almost biting cold wind, but not enough to supersede the heat from the shining sun. I tugged my jacket a little tighter, keeping my own body warmth inside and not leaking away. Although to be honest, the sun was terrible right now. Not because of the temperature, but because whenever its rays were reflected to my eyes, my head’s pounding turned into a stab of pain. It hurt. 

I squinted for a moment, trying to tune away the pain before giving up. Time to just walk elsewhere, maybe downtown would work out better. All the buildings and cafés should ensure I didn’t see any more ray of light seared straight into my eyeballs. And then I could just relax in one of the establishments too, sitting down, drinking a cup of hot tea while eating a cake… 

Liyane had given me today to unwind, a relaxed leash that allowed me thoughts beyond pleasing her, and I would use that opportunity to the most I could get. Even if I didn’t know anymore what I could do, what with my hobbies all whittled away—and this time, I couldn’t even lay the blame fully on Liyane’s feet. 

Even back in Verata, I had stopped doing anything for leisure. Of course I relaxed occasionally, but it was a forced rest. Something I didn’t want to do but had to because if I didn’t, I would explode. Watching videos, reading through various genres of fiction online I could put my hands on… Some of them were fun, or even interesting. But they didn’t pull me, not anymore. 

I let out a huge sigh, feeling so betrayed by my own self. No one in the sidewalks took even another glance at me, despite the fact they did when I let out the sound. Somehow, that twinged a little part of my heart, one who had given up on everyone else. After all, that was how Liyane and I met. I was tired, needing to get away from it all in Verata and then… She came by. Dragging me into the café. 

I stared at the building my feet automatically brought me to. The same one Liyane had guided me towards back then. For a moment, I was frozen at the sight, the warm, wooden tone inside that reminded me of before. Even the jazz music playing reminded me of the past. When things were easier, of a time when I wasn’t confused and Liyane never used her powers on me. Warmth skittered in my stomach upon that remembrance, and I pushed it away. 

Should I go in? The place wasn’t wrong exactly, but every sight would bring a twinge with it. Pain or something else I didn’t want to think about, because Liyane had turned what should be a friendship into something else, something wrong. 

The choice was pulled away from me, like every other ones I had recently, as someone painfully familiar to me walked by and saw my face. “Oh! Robin, it has been some time since we last saw each other!” He called out, an easy grin placed on his friendly face. Tension filled my muscles at once, the desire to get away forming despite my inability to cough any of it out. 

I knew it didn’t really matter though, because Theo immediately tugged me towards the café. His intention was obvious, and even if I didn’t know, what he said next confirmed it for me. “Let’s talk a bit, it has been what… weeks? Since we last saw one another? Kind of meh for Verata to send me to muscle on the Trinity, but whatever, let’s focus on you.” He was still looking happy, but there were the sharp signs, the jagged parts, that made me know he was looking at me properly. 

Not merely accepting my already-there smile with face value, but saw what I was truly feeling. The pain I was trying to hide, the confusion I kept getting when I was thinking of Liyane—I wished to say that I wanted to get away, but by now I knew it wasn’t true. If I did, even with this relaxed leash, I would have gone to Verata. Find her, tell her the truth. 

My stomach churned, as I remember not seeing any of the black and yellow marks the Verata’s members should have. Even though this place was deep inside her territory… And yet at the same time, I could remember the way Liyane looked at me, touching me so gently. The churn in my stomach was mixed with warmth, with a funny feeling I didn’t understand. Familiar though. 

Barely realizing it, Theo had seated me on one of the more private seats as he took the one across me. “Took the liberty to order for you since you weren’t answering, merely asked for some tea though. Not sure why one will order that here, but whatevs.” He shrugged, and I couldn’t help but smile a bit at his antics. I knew he didn’t care all that much, but that was a glorious pretend. He beamed at me when he saw my reaction, letting me know that it was a deliberate attempt. “Anyway, let’s have some talk?” 

This time his voice was soft. Gentle. I froze hearing that, body curling up slightly on my seat as I realized that he also placed himself in a great position if he wanted to stop me when I get out. I couldn’t get away… if I didn’t try too hard, of course. He knew what I would have done if he did this too much, too fast. But I wouldn’t run off from a friend. Right? He posited that question, forcing me to think and answer it. And in doing so, he forced me to be in disadvantageous position, all so I would talk to him a little bit. Even if all I wanted to do was to run. 

“I… maybe. Why do you want to do it so badly?” I asked, because that was the only thing I could do right now. Unless I just wanted to cut ties, all of them. Because I could see Theo still cared, despite the two of us not speaking to one another for months by now, maybe even coming onto a year or two. “You knew that I wasn’t… Verata’s.” Not anymore didn’t get said, but I looked down onto my body. I didn’t have any sort of eye symbols across my outfit, but I no longer had the yellow and black bracelet she had given me. I didn’t even realize it was gone, until I was looking down and saw how plain my outfit was. 

Pastel shirt with a gray puffy jacket, and then just blue jeans. All casual and relaxed, not something I would wear before. Scratch that, I actually would love to, but when Verata was looking at me a lot to handle the organizational matters, I had no choice but to wear something more professional looking, something that would scream ‘office’. 

Nonetheless, Theo merely watched me with careful eyes, not even glancing down towards the colors of my outfit. “Maybe you don’t feel the same, but I do consider you a friend, you know?” He softly said, careful to look at how I would react. And I just couldn’t say anything, merely opening and closing my mouth every time I thought I would be able to. “And while Verata might kill me over this… what’s more important is how you feel. Even if I’ll probably have to tell her eventually in the future. Not right now though.” 

I wanted so badly to tell him that I didn’t deserve his friendship at all. That what he offered was more than he should have given to me. But I couldn’t, because this was the last raft I had, I didn’t know anyone else who could possibly talk to me frankly like this. One who wouldn’t try to sway my opinion one way or another, or have the means to ensure I couldn’t leave if I wish to. 

Sitting here, looking at him, I could see the future clearly. My power blossomed too without much prompting, giving me the possible paths I could have picked from now on. 

Verata loomed in front of me, a sad smile on her face as she ruffled my hair. I couldn’t hear her say anything, but her look was more than enough. Liyane’s grins were sharp and dangerous, always full of jagged edge. But this one was softer, not incising itself deeper into me. No, it merely wanted to grasp me, as Liyane pulled me into a harsh kiss, her teeth digging into my lips. 

I jerked up again with a harsh gasp, knowing and certain that there were more possibilities in the future. Little differences, but I understood the broad strokes now. I could still come back. No idea what it would mean in the future, but did this matter right now? Just the fact that Verata would still accept me despite everything was… 

A shudder passed through me, not a cold shiver, but just unbelievable. I had always thought of Verata caring for the gang, but not exactly. More of thinking that she did everything to keep power, ensuring she was the leader and everything. Maybe that forgiveness was because of how useful I would be still? Seeing the future, even if it came with caveats, was still a wonderful piece of information. 

“... So, what did you see?” Theo asked, eyes full of knowledge as he relaxed against his own chair. I didn’t even realize the drinks had been placed on the table in front of him too. 

Now the question was, should I tell him the truth or obfuscate it enough. I kept my mouth shut for a bit first, taking the cup of tea to feel the warmth against my palm. This café always gave their drinks in a drinkable state, unlike some other places… I took a sip, just to fend off the question I was sure Theo would pose. I couldn’t answer him yet. 

Verata wasn’t complicated, it was easy to understand. Despite everything, I knew I would understand that however I did, once I was in Verata’s hands, it wouldn’t matter in the end. She would ensure I was okay, giving me punishment for falling under Liyane’s clutches… and then it would all work out again. 

But Liyane. Even merely thinking to leave her made my stomach churn, and I couldn’t even think to betray her. Not without a slight amount of bile rising at the back of my throat. Thinking of staying with her sent different feelings, though—and I wasn’t sure if this was all because of Liyane’s own power. After all, she was letting the leash slack, right? So this should be all my feelings. The thought of wanting to stay with Liyane, to just come back to the Watcher’s leader… It made my stomach flip in pleasant ways. Warmth and tightness that was familiar by now. 

There were no more time, and I had no choice except to answer his questions. The longer I thought about it, the more suspicious he would become. “It gave me the information I need for what my action should be. The so called ‘information gathering’, I would say.” Despite not outright lying, I feel a little guilty here. Here he was being kind to me, and I was throwing this whole thing back towards his face. 

He didn’t give me any indication of what he thought, merely staying silent and hmm’d in response. That was worse than if he was angered, spouting off hurtful words that were designed to carve up my heart. 

“I didn’t know if I wanted to get back to Verata.” I whispered in a hurry, feeling ungrateful and uncomfortableness all at once. Because Liyane didn’t really do much to myself about Verata herself. About the gang. Beyond moving my loyalty towards her, at least. Which might be the whole reason I was so torn, because now I could see the hidden cracks that I refused to see beforehand. “It’s not that I hate her but…” I trailed off, unable to really articulate what my feelings were. 

They were a tangled yarn, where picking on one meant I would suddenly be faced with a lot more than I wanted. I pushed it all away, not wanting to face the music. Close my ears, shut my eyes, thinking of the past was just pushing my hand into a thorn bush. Everything was just so much easier with Liyane, the feelings she gave me a comfort. I refused to think on it deeper, not wanting to really inspect myself. 

It didn’t matter. 

“Thank you, Theo.” I murmured as I realized what my road should be. The certainty didn’t consume me until later, but I could feel it forming in my bones. I knew which one I should be doing, which choice would be easier for me. Every other people always told others that they should take the harder road, as themselves took the easier one. It was funny in a sense, in people’s easy hypocrisy. At least I didn’t say that, merely knowing which road I should take, because I was tired. 

Of thinking, of taking my own choices. Of worrying what was right and wrong. In the end of it all, I just wanted to get back to what I was used to over the past few weeks. The ease, the way everything just smoothed over. 

But to tell Theo that would be the wrong choice, so I just submerged myself into a well-worn fake. I gave him a smile, as I started to weave the words and behavior that wouldn’t alarm him. Wouldn’t let him know how many hooks had been placed into me and under my skin. 

I could feel the warmth in myself now, and I couldn’t help but be happy with the leash Liyane placed on me. 

In the end, it was friendship that tripped Theo up. Or maybe if it was someone else who could talk better than me, a smooth person who understood the way others thought. They probably could have pushed him to just accept the situation, not understanding and yet accepting how it should happen. I was rougher, not understanding what to imply and not. So he backed down, but he dragged a promise out of me. To accept another meeting later on, down the line. 

A flutter of excitement passed through me then, and a realization that it would be too late by then. In some ways, that was what made me nod to his proposition. That Liyane would have finished fiddling with my way of thinking and my feelings, and this would all be so much easier. No more guilt from all my lies, just an understanding of what I had to do, if I wished to be loyal to Liyane. 

I snorted slightly at the thought of ‘if’, because when would be the better word. What with the way I was contorting myself, not understanding what had been changed. All I knew was the new world, and it was a good one. Something I had desired, but was never given. In some ways, Liyane had saved me. Or maybe that was what I was convincing myself, even as I walked through the streets and back to the Watcher’s base. 

No one else accosted me, reminding me of my possible anchors, and the connections I had formed back then. There was only one person left, and she desired me to come back. My cheeks burned from my arousal amping up, the distance becoming closer with every step. She was tightening the leash, and excitement jumped up readily from within my body. 

I wanted this, for sure. That was why I shook my head at Theo. That was why I was walking back, not even thinking of the other possibility my power had opened up to me. I knew there was another possibility, but that could be taken by another me. This was the path I had taken, and despite the nervousness burning in my stomach… There were another joining in, of heat and arousal mixing in with the anxiety. 

The members looked as I passed through, a few immediately looking away and back to their own work. But some kept their eyes on me, watching and thinking as I walked by. It left me feeling exposed, and even beneath the jacket, I could feel blood gathering under my skin. I was glad that most of my body was hidden, ignoring the part of me that said I would be excited if Liyane wished me to. 

By the time I stood in front of Liyane’s door, I was breathing far faster, and my panties were soaked through with my arousal. At least I wasn’t dripping straight to the floor, although I wonder if Liyane would love that—the door swung open without any prompting, inviting and telling me to go in. 

She was already sitting on her bed, full of languid ease as she kept a book on her lap, gently caressing the paper underneath her hand. She wasn’t looking, and yet my stomach felt like it was flipping. 

Nervousness? Anxiety? Those two were a friend, in this situation. I took off my footwear as I walked in, letting me feel the softness of the carpet against my bare feet. The door closed behind me with nary a sound, and I… knelt. I planted my knees near the foot of the bed, looking up towards her with uncertainty. 

Her eyes were still looking away, sticking to the book as if it was the most fascinating thing she ever read. She looked so huge like this, her shoulders wide with those muscles on her arms. She wore no glasses, with long, dark brown hair falling down and curling across her shoulder, reaching down to her chest. They were lustrous, gleaming with signs of being taken care of, all framing her body. Just letting her chest be bared slightly, allowing me to see the hints of brown skin and yet not anything more. 

I looked away, cheeks darkening further at the realization. She didn’t usually wear anything that open, something that would have allowed her enemies to shoot her if they found her that way. Did she… wear it to show off to me? That sentence felt incredibly wrong in my head, the fact she was caring that much about myself. But at the same time, she was ignoring me, not even telling me what to do beyond my own judgment. 

She was letting me sit here, stewing in my own heads as she did something else. My throat was drying as I peeked up slightly, looking once more towards her. Towards those shapely body and wonderful woman. 

My head wasn’t throbbing yet, and for a moment, I pondered if I should let my power unspool once more. Let myself see the future, to check the possible different choices I could do for her. It was weird, to decide to come here, hoping for more of Liyane’s usual power usage and not being given it. 

I could still think normally, the usual fog she usually used to consume my mind and thoughts not existing. But despite that, I knew the arousal I was feeling was because of her. The steady pounding that came from my core, as it slowly dripped and wet the carpet below me. I flushed, as the feeling slowly built up, coming easier with every second that passed. I squirmed on the carpet, feeling incredibly aroused and yet unable to do anything else. 

Time was elastic, much akin to rubber. Stretching out infinitely as I tried my best to not make a sound, even as the arousal ramped up, ratcheting so high it was starting to become alike to the fog she usually gave me. And yet, I wasn’t even touched, or looked at. The sound of pages flipping was so loud in this silent room, merely accompanied by my harsh breathing as I slowly rubbed my thighs together. Just a little friction, a little heat so I would be able to gain some sort of pleasure… 

“Please.” I didn’t know when the word came out, but that was what broke the dam. “I… I need you.” For everything, for the power and anything else she would hold over me. 

Those were what finally made her lift her head up, closing the book with a deliberate slowness that merely make me whimper in desperation. She was still fanning me up, to push me further as the fog finally starting to appear. Covering, eating the bigger words as I begged with all the wants burning inside of me. 

“Such a good girl, knowing what to say for me.” Her voice was as insidious as before, her words sending a flash of heat that made me clench my pussy together. “I know you’ll love to continue to the main event…” She drawled there deliberately, a smirk that made me clench my fists, trying to grasp the carpet and failing. 

This was all intentional winding up, and yet there was nothing else I could do except wanting more. 

“But I have to show you my appreciation to be mine, don’t I?” She reminded me of my choices again, of what I was picking by coming back here. “Should I tell you, of why I trust you to return? I knew you went and met one of your old mates out there.” 

I froze, suddenly wondering if my paths had been manipulated. That she had done something to the future I saw—but there was no way, right? After all, I still saw the other way, the possibility I might have if I went with Theo. 

Liyane stood for a moment before she knelt in front of me, still somehow showing herself as bigger, stronger than I. She gripped my chin and made me keep looking at her, forcing me, and yet I could only flush in response. My throat felt dry as I gulped down, trying in vain to wet them even a little. 

“Because you knew who owns you by now. Weeks of being under me, knowing and enjoying how I’ll handle it all… isn’t that wonderful?” She didn’t whisper, but her words sent goosebumps across my skin. Slowly, she used her other hand to caress my neck, making me worry that she would tighten her hold for a moment. Just to show me how powerful she was compared to me. Then the moment passed, and her hand merely flowed down, touching me despite the shirt I was still wearing. “It is time for you to wear my mark, to show everyone who owns you.” 

And this made me pay attention immediately—well, not like I didn’t beforehand. But that made me excited. I wanted it, but I knew better than to beg more. Liyane would punish me if I misbehaved. The only thing I could do was let out a soft whimper and looked more into her dark eyes, begging with only my eyes. 

The smirk widened before she finally let me go, standing up once more. I didn’t dare to move, not even lifting myself slightly up despite the ache forming on my knees and ankles. Continuing to kneel would be hell, but she hadn't given me a permission. 

She took out a box out of her pocket, it was well-made. Full wood and varnished, with wonderful carving of the Watcher’s symbols upon it and baroque carving all around. A piece of art, and I could only be silent as she slowly opened the box, the hinge not even making a sound. And right there in the middle of the box was the most wonderful item I ever laid my eyes on. 

Not because it was a perfect, but because of what it meant. The collar itself was beautiful, made of leather with faux fur for its inner lining. But the most important part was how it was purple, with the gold stitching that showed the eye once more—the Watcher’s symbol. It was an icon, a design that showed who owned me. No one would see it and think anyone else held the end of the leash. 

“This is why I told you to go for today. I could have sent for one of my servants to take it, but for this… I can make an exception. All for you, my little songbird.” Liyane continued to talk, gently caressing the collar with her fingers. I could see the stiffness still, at how new it all was. 

“Now show me your neck.” 

The order didn’t come out of nowhere, for all it made me jerk in place anyway. I didn’t fight it though, instead loosening the tension on my neck as I lowered my shoulders, trying my best to let my neck as unimpeded as possible. Butterflies flew in my stomach as I waited, as Liyane smiled and said the two words I so loved. “Good girl.” She praised again, caressing my cheek for a moment before she focused on what she wanted to do once more. 

My hair was gently brushed aside first, letting me feel her fingers against my neck. It felt so sensitive now, making me gasp every time her nails or the tip of her fingers touched my skin. “You love this, don’t you?” She whispered, not in a cruel way, but still making my stomach flip. I whimpered, closing my eyes for a moment to avoid the feelings she was invoking in me. But she didn’t care for my attempt to suppress it, her gentle caress forcing me to stay in the present. To know and understand what was happening, and how I let her do it. 

When the fur tickled my skin slightly as she placed the collar, carefully tightening it so it wouldn’t be too tight—I moaned. A culmination of everything she had done, from the moment we met, until I was merely this pet of hers kneeling on the carpet. I couldn’t help but feel the arousal peaking for a moment. Maybe it was Liyane’s power, maybe it was how much I had debased myself. 

But at the end of it all, I let her own me, and I love her for it. “Thank you, Mistress.” I whispered, looking up into her satisfied eyes and smile, and knew for certain that I had done well. 

“Good girl.” She said again, confirming what I was already thinking of. “You are mine.” 

I shivered against the possessive word, nodding and only able to continue telling her of my gratitude. Of how much I loved to be hers. 

“Then show me.” She sat back on the bed, spreading her legs a little. Finally giving me permission to show her my gratefulness. I licked my lips for a moment, arousal coursing through my blood as I leaned forward—and started to lick. 

She tasted wonderful. 

I didn’t fight it as Liyane started to grip the back of my head, pushing me closer to her muff. It made it harder to breathe, lightheadedness settling in soon after. But I kept myself there, trying my best to inhale when she relaxed, even if it was barely a second. I followed her body closely, trying to learn the best way to pleasure her, my Mistress. 

The way her thighs twitched when I do a languid lick near her clit, her entrance fluttering closed and relaxing again as I tried to pull all the tricks possible… There were so many things to do, and I could feel my own arousal becoming higher, a fire that consumed my thoughts. Just like the fog, but more service-oriented. Inflaming the desire to make Liyane felt good, and not just letting myself sank into the wonderful pleasure. 

Despite everything though, it didn’t take long for Liyane to tense up, shoving me until I could only breathe her scent—the hint of sage, of dried herbs—and she came. Her whole body shuddered, and I could taste the barest hint of her quim. There weren’t a lot, but I still found myself trying to lick, to gather them as much as I could. 

“S-stop.” She hissed, pushing me away a little, making me feel the cold pit of disappointment and fear. I whimpered, immediately closing my mouth and backing away slightly. But close enough to be grabbed if she wished it to be. Liyane breathed for a moment, taking a few deep breaths that made her body shudder, leaving me fear of what I had done wrong. 

Liyane composed herself soon after though, the usual smirk back onto her face. Liyane leaned forward, caressing my cheek with one hand as she looked down on me. “I’m glad you are enthusiastic, my adorable bird.” She whispered, tone sharp and making my stomach squirming even worse. I kept myself silent even as I avoided her eyes, a little bit of tears wetting my eyes. “But you should know how sensitive the body was after a good orgasm like that, hm?” 

I didn’t know, but that didn’t mean Liyane was wrong. “I… I apologize, Mistress.” I whimpered, trying to make her forgive me. So I tried to think of a way, of what I could have said to make her accept my apology. Her finger was caressing my cheek still, slow, careful. She didn’t want to hurt me, unless I was wrong. 

The grip was becoming painful, and I had to ignore the hot thrill in my stomach as I wondered for a moment, how it would feel if her nails dug into my skin. Leaving her marks… I didn’t flush deeper, but it was a close thing. Liyane slowly turned my head instead, forcing me to look up. So I could see my Mistress straight on. “Don’t look away now, my dear. I suppose this is the first time I made you do this, and you do try your best…” She trailed off, her face carefully blank as if she was waiting what I would say and do. 

“I… Let me find a way to make it up to you, Mistress!” I gasped out, pleading, requesting for her forgiveness that she refused to give so far. But that wasn’t my place to call her out, it was only Liyane’s to give. 

And oh, did she wield her power well. Maybe it should be obvious from how she was the leader of the Watchers, but this showing felt more personal, showing Liyane as someone who took the time to craft the right way to break myself. 

For a moment, there were a brief look of sadness as she gazed at me, but they were subsumed away soon after. Her desire burned in her eyes, and she kissed me on the lips. Strong and full of wants, I submitted easily into it, eyes fluttering closed as I gasped and Liyane’s teeth came down in force. Enough to nip, to hurt and wound my lips. I could taste the iron flowing into my mouth, but I couldn’t care—this was right. “Good girl.” 

Those words continue to send a surge of pleasure whenever I heard it, and I shuddered slightly on the carpet. Even the throb on my lips helped to magnify the sensation, leaving me gasping and wishing for more. 

I felt dizzy, aroused and dazed, and beyond it all, just wanting to lay down and let Liyane had her way with me. That was how this usually went, her ravishing me until all I could do was pant and beg for her touch. 

Liyane stood, sitting back onto her bed as she looked down upon me. I could see her still-flushed skin, the way her nipples had hardened were also obvious against her thin shirt. But she looked so unruffled, not bothered by anything. She was incredibly put together, unlike the way I was already shuffling on the carpet, my core throbbing with want. 

She moved her legs, making me focus on the way her tight pants covered her muscles. Thick and taut, not a runner’s legs but she could definitely use it if she wished to. For now, I could only find more saliva pooling in my mouth at the sight. Liyane tapped her right thigh, eyes focusing upon me. Telling—no, ordering me of what she wished for me to do without a single word. 

I didn’t even think about it. I found myself sitting on the lone thigh, feeling Liyane’s strength beneath me. She might be a controller, an ability more suited mentally than physically, but there was power here. I could feel myself growing wetter as I stayed there, the receding redness coming back in full force. 

“You shall grind yourself here, but you aren’t allowed to come until I tell you so.” Her voice was husky, a little excitement surely brewing in her from this situation. Just her enjoying how much she was holding over me, and I couldn’t say no to her. Not now, not ever. 

“Y-yes, Mistress.” The only answer, and one I said while obeying. 

There were frictions, a little pain as dry skin met the rubbery feeling of her pants. But my arousal handled it soon after, as each slide made me spread it just a little bit more. Every time becoming easier and easier as sparks of pleasure surged and burned from where my clit met her thighs, and how my entrance was desperate and wanting more. But I had nothing to give to it, nothing except for this pleasure I was forcing onto myself. 

“Stop.” She said, and despite my body burning in desire—I knew I had to. I kept myself still, breathing hard and trying to ignore the fire within. “Mm, that’s my good girl.” 

More praise, and yet she still didn’t allow me to do more yet. My body trembled, my hands gripping the bed a little tighter. Maybe I could try, but the thought of rebellion, of being bad felt akin to betrayal. One’s worse than what I already have done. 

Perhaps that was what she sought out of me, because she kissed me again this time. Chaste, just allowing me to feel more of her warmth, allowing me to scent and taste her against my lips and tongue. The pain on my lips stung for a moment, but I ignored it. 

“Come.” She whispered as she let go of the kiss, and I immediately obeyed. 

My body ground against hers, sending the sparks all through my nerves—and I reached it. I screamed, gasping and shaking all across my body. My eyes rolled back too from every sensation all over my entire being, and it was all I could do to keep myself staying on top of her. Not falling or anything else. Just holding onto her until I finally came through the throes of the orgasm, whimpering softly. 

Everything felt too sensitive, and I wished I could just let myself lay down. But I was still looking towards her, towards my Mistress. “Thank you, Mistress…” I whispered, nuzzling my head against her body, enjoying the feeling of hers against my tender skin. 

I could feel the start of tiredness now at the edge, my body dragging me into the darkness of sleep, and yet before I could have done so… I heard her words. So small, so easy to be lost. I wasn’t even sure if I really did hear it or not. 

“I love you, my little bird.” 

The darkness was sweet, after that.