Addicted (Hypnovember 2023 Day 9)

by ellaenchanting

Tags: #dom:male #hypnovember_2023 #real_life_hypnosis #realistic #sub:female #addiction #feelings #sadmoods

She didn’t know it would be so addictive. (In which the author processes some feelings)

This story is loosely autobiographical but not based on any particular partner of mine- often using the stories of others. It's autobiographical only in some of the feelings involved.

There was a study she had read in college.

(He might have read it too.)

     There were 4 groups of rats. Each one would push a lever and get a food reward. Some rats would get rewarded every time they pushed. Some would get rewarded every other time or every three times. For the last group of rats, their reward was completely random- there was no predictable pattern to when a reward might happen.
 

Then the food stopped. The first group of rats- the ones who usually always got rewarded- were the first to stop pushing the lever and to go about their regular ratty business. Then the second group. Then the third.

The last group, though, never gave up on the possibility of food. They would anxiously push their little levers over and over, fruitlessly waiting on a reward that would never come again.

She had felt sorry for them. Poor, stupid rats. If only they had known the trap they were in- surely then they could find the will to pull themselves free.

How could she have known differently?

"Hi," she typed in her message to him. "I know you said you'd get in touch with me this week. FYI I'm around all day today if you want to talk!"

Hit send.

Paused.

Added a cute seal picture.

Tried no to wait by her computer for a reply.

He had been a dream answered at first. A famous, well regarded hypnotist was somehow interested in her- an anonymous internet fan. She had never expected a response when she had messaged him about his file but- not only had he thoughtfully answered her questions, he had asked her some back. Why was she interested in hypnosis? What got her started? What was she struggling with? What did she want to experience?

A few rounds of messaging back and forth had led to a call. And THAT call had led to her first actual experience being hypnotized-an incredible one. She felt deep and dreamy and oh so submissive. It had been everything she had hoped it would be- and more. She hadn't expected the praise, especially, to flow over her the way it did- how obedient she was, how pretty like this, what a natural subject- but she soaked it in like a flower soaking in sunshine.

It had felt meaningful.

Important.

After that, they were in constant contact. They sent stories back and forth. Fantasies. Dreams. He was the only one she had truly been able to open up to about her hypnofetish and her desires to be controlled. She wanted it so much- that freedom to let go and let herself be molded. Not only did he seem to understand- he encouraged it. "This is clearly who you are," he said. "Submission comes naturally to you- just like domination comes naturally to me. Why should we be ashamed?"

When he offered to make her HIS submissive, she had jumped at the chance. Of course, they would keep things casual, like he said. She knew he had other submissives he cared for and that things between them didn't need to be exclusive for them to be special. She also agreed that, as part of being His, she wouldn't interact with any other hypnotists besides him. But that was OK. She didn't know any other hypnotists. Plus, it was dangerous, he said, to give your mind to too many people- have too many people trying to make changes. Hypnotic suggestions and compulsions could conflict with each other, you see, and that could create all kinds of mental health issues. He didn't want that for her.

She was touched when he looked out for her like this.

And how could she want anyone else, anyway? Day after day they exchanged text messaged. Text trances. Video calls. He hypnotized her over and over- making her more and more his. There wasn't room for anyone else in her deeply programmed psyche. She could feel his thoughts and influence constantly in her head- changing and building her even while she slept. It was like she was a project they were both working on together.

It felt like being owned.

It felt like love.

Then just as surely as the flood started- it stopped.

At first, the lack of communication made sense. He was sick, he said, and couldn't respond easily to messages. He still texted her frequently though- maybe not for trance, exactly, but at least to let her know he was ok. He'd talk about what was going on his life and she'd tell him what was happening in hers. It felt intimate in a different way. She appreciated his thoughtfulness.

Then he was traveling.

Then he needed some alone time.

Of course she was understanding of all of this. What friend wouldn't want their friend to travel? To have time to recover? She would be selfish to demand otherwise- for the sake of a silly kink, no less. She sent messages of support and understanding throughout the day. When he mentioned bad mental health stuff, she offered to help him look up therapists in his area.

No need, he wrote back. I'm just going through some things.

And when he started releasing files again? She was overjoyed! Finally he was back to doing what he loved. Maybe that meant he was getting better?

She was relieved. Despite being a good understanding sub, she had really started to feel anxious without him. Part of their dynamic was that she craved to hear his voice, that she needed to have his conditioning in her head. She felt a bit distressed going without it for so long. His new files, at least, were giving her something to hold onto. They weren't personal to her and their dynamic, of course, but the suggestions and mantras in them gave her some of the hot submissive feelings she had grown to crave.

"Devoted, dominated, and dependent", she repeated with the girls in the recordings. "Devoted, dominated, and dependent".

Over and over.

It felt so good.

She messaged him every time she listened (and she listened quite frequently). She knew he liked begging, so she would beg him sweetly in her messages for a call. She took and sent videos of herself under his spell- eyes rolled back, repeating the mantras over and over. She knew he liked those.

Sometimes, he responded.

Sometimes they even had a video call.

When they did, it was great. She felt like his suggestions were going deeper and deeper into her mind- like she was giving him more and more of herself. Things she never thought she'd accomplish as a subject- amnesia, hallucinations, orgasm on demand- all of these things seemed within her reach. She couldn't wait to see what he could make her into.

"Thank you sir," she said at the end of one of their calls. "Thank you so much. I'm so happy that I have you."

"Good girl," he said, smirking. "What a good devoted, dominated, dependent slut you are for me."

She beamed at the praise.

"Sir," she finally braved to ask. "I know you've been busy lately. I know a lot of the time you just have energy for recordings. But- could you make a recording just for me? So I could listen to it when you're busy? It would really help me when we can't find time to talk."

His face turned serious. He seemed to be genuinely contemplating her question, finding the perfect answer.

"No," he said finally. "I'm sorry, pet. It's not that I don't care. I just- don't want you to get addicted."

She understood, of course. He had always been thoughtful about her safety.

So it continued.

Occasionally she would see his interactions on social media with others. (Not that she hunted for those.) (Too much.)

For instance, he seemed quite drawn to a new girl named Hypnohunty lately. They publicly interacted all the time. She felt a pang of jealousy about this- strong jealousy, hot and sharp like a knife- but she also felt embarrassed by it. There really was no room for jealousy in their relationship. After all, she had knowingly agreed to be in a polyamorous relationship with him. And she didn't want to feel badly towards Hypnohunty, who was new and friendly and seemed sweet (whoever she was).

Improving her jealous personality had even been an consented-to part of her submissive conditioning. Her Sir frequently worked with her (when he worked with her) to help her feel more compersion towards his other submissive partners. After all, sharing was caring and there really weren't enough Doms to satisfy all the needy submissive girls out there. There was no place for her kind of insecurity in healthy kink.

She'd just have to be better at getting his attention.

Sometimes one of her messages would break through. He'd send her a smiley or a fire emoji when she described a hot fantasy. They'd go a few weeks in a row without him canceling their weekly call. They'd even do hypnosis sometimes- when he was up for it.

Then, there would be periods of nothing.

Which is what seemed to be happening now.

She still had hope, though. He had said he would contact her this week, so she would give him every opportunity to reconnect. Even if it meant waiting by the computer. She'd give him that chance.

She was loyal, after all.

Like a good submissive should be.

 

Day 7 was an audio file for the prompt "Repetition is Hypnotic" here

Thank you for reading! I love comments so please feel free to tell me what you thought. 

x4

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