Ugh, why the fuck did I just do that?

 

Lyssa snappily turned off her phone, tossing it on the bed next to her and rolling over. She let out an exasperated sigh and held her head in her hands, wincing a bit from nerves. She should’ve been asleep almost an hour ago, should’ve waited until she had a clearer head. Well, there were a lot of things she should have done. Instead, she let her impulses gets the better of her. Lyssa had felt like she was caught in a tangled mess of emotions lately, and the last thing she needed right now was to come across as desperate. She wished more than anything that she could just let it go, stop... getting in her own head about it so much.

None of that changed the fact that she couldn’t stop thinking about Thorne.

The two had started as friends for a couple years or so, then gradually moved towards being friends with benefits for a couple more. The nature of that sort of relationship meant that catching herself fantasizing about Thorne wasn’t necessarily out of place. Over the past few weeks, though, there had been a shift. Lyssa had found herself drifting into fantasies more often, and the scenarios she imagined were more intense, more... charged. There was no doubt in her mind—she was crushing, and crushing hard. She just didn’t understand why. That was probably normal, she figured. Love had always been a feeling that was hard to grasp properly for her, easy to get confused about, easy to lose herself in. Something in the back of her mind kept nagging at her, though. No crush had ever come on quite this strong, nothing had ever felt quite like this. There had to be something more to it, right?

Nothing about the situation was helped, of course, by the fact that Thorne was. Well, Thorne. She’d always been a very forward and affectionate person since the two had first met, and as if that wasn’t enough, she was the biggest flirt that Lyssa knew. Reading into anything she said, anything she did, was damn near impossible—and Lyssa had tried. God, had she tried. A simple kiss on the cheek from Thorne could mean anything from it’s nice to see you today to you look really cute right now to if you get so much as even slightly flustered by this, i’m about to fucking destroy you. The last of those usually resulted in Lyssa losing about an hour or two of her day reduced to a stuttering, whimpering mess, but that was neither here nor there. The important thing was that if she wanted any clarification about where the two of them stood, she was going to need to be direct about it; and she was terrible at being direct.

what’s the matter? can’t stay away?~

She gasped sharply and felt a shiver rush through her as the words passed through her thoughts again. Something about that phrase felt... sticky. Not just hard to put out of her mind, but also like it gummed up everything else in the process; a real spanner in the works. God, everything just felt so foggy all of a sudden. She rolled onto her stomach and fumbled in the dark for her phone to check the time. 23:31. Lyssa quickly went through the following day in her head. She had to be up on time for work—her shift started at... 10:00? Or was it 10:30?

 

It felt like it was getting harder to think. Probably just her medicine kicking in like it usually did by this time of night; the drowsiness always hit eventually, there was no avoiding it. She attempted to continue with her run-through of her morning routine. She would need a bit of time to wake up, freshen up, fix breakfast... public transportation had been unreliable lately, that was a consideration... how long would all that take again? She... she knew how long, this was something Lyssa always did before bed, she did know. It just felt so... distant. Unimportant. She could probably figure it out in the morning. Yes, that’s exactly what she would do! She’d worry about it in the morning.

 

 

Another shudder, another gasp, a short whimper, reflexive squirming. Fuck, why had Thorne’s voice been slipping into her head so often lately? It wasn’t... uncommon, given the fantasies and all, but it had all started narrowing in scope to such particular words, such specific phrases—ones that she couldn’t even seem to recall her ever saying, yet could still imagine pristinely. Lyssa’s mind could be very... imaginative when it wanted to be.

Lyssa caught herself yawning. Those words felt sticky too. Sticky. Sticking to all her thoughts, slowing everything down... all those processes starting to still themselves... creeping along at a snail’s pace... as your eyes just start t-
She shook herself awake, taking quick, shallow breaths in, partially to help rouse herself, partially for... other reasons. God, what the hell had gotten into her? As her mind emerged from the fog, she quickly stretched her arm to set her phone down on her nightstand, out of the way. Lyssa turned again onto her back, splaying out on the bed, desperately trying to regain control of her breathing, to calm herself down. It was hardly a moment before she felt the haze begin to wash over her again. She was so tired, so utterly exhausted. She needed to get to sleep, couldn’t stay awake any longer. Couldn’t stay awake. Oh. She couldn’t... stay... awake...

She was falling. Falling into the fantasy again. Feeling those sticky words latching onto her, pulling at her, dragging her... but... but... it was fine this time, wasn’t it? Lyssa didn’t have anything left to do. Nothing else to think about until morning. Nothing to worry her pretty little head about. It would be harmless, then, wouldn’t it? Harmless to let herself keep falling. To let that pretty voice she could imagine in her mind keep dragging her down. Harmless to lose herself in such a delightful fantasy... such a wonderful dream...

Yes... it would be harmless. So she could just let go—she should just let go. There wasn’t any harm in it, and it would be so easy to do. Especially because she couldn’t stay awake. Couldn’t stay awake. can’t stay awake. can’t... stay...

“Awake...” she mumbled, finishing the thought aloud. “Can’t... stay... awake...”

She shuddered again, breathing shakily. Then, she gave a slow nod. Lyssa knew on some level that Thorne wasn’t really here, that the voice was one fabricated entirely by her mind, but she wasn’t operating on that level right now. That detail wasn’t important. What was important was continuing to give herself over to the fantasy. What was important was listening to her Mistress.

Lyssa couldn’t help but moan at the praise, squirming beneath her sheets. Thorne’s voice was one of the prettiest things she’d ever heard, especially the tone she shifted into when she was toying with her. Nothing else tickled her brain in quite the same way. Nothing else even came close to the shivers she felt whenever Thorne would get right up next to her ear, whispering gently.

you knew, didn’t you? the second you first heard my voice tonight, you knew that you wouldn’t resist. you would try, of course. you’d try, pitifully, because you know how it entertains me. Lyssa could feel the words tearing through her, setting every inch of her body alight with bliss. you’d try, and you’d fail, because you always fail. and you know why that is, don’t you?

“Can’t stay away...” A whisper spilled out of her lips before she even realized it was happening. It felt automatic. Felt natural.

that’s right, pet. you can’t stay away. you can’t stay awake. The voice began to take on a sing-songy tone. you can’t stay away, and you can’t stay awake~ and really, it’s an awfully vicious cycle, isn’t it? you can’t stay away because you can’t stay awake, and when you aren’t awake, i slip back in, i remind you of your place~ The words grew faster, more frantic, harder to keep up with. and you can’t stay awake because you can’t stay away, and when you can’t stay away, when you’re back in your place, dear, when you’re back next to me, right where you belong, you fall, you sink, you drop, you SLEEP~

Lyssa faintly registered her own hand moving up towards her ear, snapping her fingers in time with the last word of fantasy-Thorne’s tirade, and as she did, she felt her entire body go limp. The rest of the world fell away, leaving just her. Just her and the fantasy.

“can’t stay away... can’t stay awake... can’t stay away... can’t stay awake...” She was caught in a loop, babbling mindlessly. She could feel every repetition pulling her down, deeper, deeper still.

“yes, Mistress...” Lyssa nodded. She didn’t quite register why, but she knew that Thorne was correct. She felt that something in her mind had clicked into place—clicked back into place, the way it was always supposed to be.

then tell me, pet. Fuck, that word made her squirm. tell me exactly what it is you’ve remembered~

“every night when i fall asleep, i hear your voice...” As she started to speak, everything started to come back to her. “when i hear your voice, i listen. when i listen, i fall. when i fall, i-” she gasped in realization, moaned in ecstasy, “i b-brainwash myself for you. oh. oh. i brainwash myself for you...”

“yes, M-Mistress...” Lyssa whimpered as her hand drifted down between her legs, as her mind drifted down with it, even further—and she began to stroke.

“y-yes, Mistress!” She moaned, squirmed, pumped her girlcock frantically, desperately. She wanted, no, needed to be a good girl. Needed to please her Mistress. Needed to be weak. Needed to be so weak. “can’t... stay away... can’t stay... awake...” The words—her mantra, she corrected herself—slipped out so naturally, came to her without thinking. Without thinking. Don’t think. don’t think. just sink. just fall, further, further now. good girl. no more thinking, just let me replace your thoughts. every time you start to think again, your thoughts just spiral, they just trail off until your thoughts are just my voice. my voice telling you to sink. to drop. to stroke. to be weak. Lyssa’s whole body spasmed as she hit her first edge, her hand quickly slowing its pace.

“can’t stay awake... can’t stay awake... c-can’t stay...” Lyssa let out a yawn. “awake...”

Lyssa felt her pace slowing again, not because she’d hit another edge, but because she was getting too sleepy. Too weak. It was getting hard to focus on anything, anything except for my words, anything except mumbling your mantra as you stroke yourself to sleep. you’re doing so wonderfully for me, dear. brainwashing yourself so perfectly for me. you’re much too weak now. much too weak to think for yourself. so much easier to let me think for you. notice how it keeps happening more and more. how my voice keeps bleeding into your thoughts, replacing them, subsuming them. it feels so nice. you don’t need to think anymore. just let Mistress take care of it.

Lyssa nodded, like a good girl, such a good girl for Mistress, and moaned loudly, her breath quickening. you just edged again. just made yourself weaker again. good girl. your eyes are getting so heavy, fluttering as you struggle to stay awake. close them. there’s only two things your body needs to be doing right now: your hand needs to be stroking that pretty cock of yours, and your lips need to keep letting those lovely words spill out of them. it’s so much better this way. so much better when all you need to worry about is your body, all you need to worry about is feeling good. let Mistress handle the rest.

“can’t stay... c-can’t... stay awake...” she whimpered. your whole body feels so heavy. it’s so hard to move. keep. stroking. you’re almost there. you’re so close. all you need is one more push. one more push, and then you can finally sleep. finally sink into blissful dreams of your Mistress. you need it. you need it so badly, and you can have it. there’s just one more thing i need you to remember, pet.

 

Lyssa’s thoughts finally returned to her for the briefest of moments—just long enough to find the answer to the question her Mistress presented her with.

 

“i forget...” Lyssa squirmed, panting, pumping faster, faster, faster. “i forget...” She whimpered, whined, bucked her hips. “i forget...” She was so close, she was so fucking close-

 

 

Lyssa felt every nerve in her body light up as the orgasm hit her. The whole world came crashing back into focus, only to give way again in an instant, give way to pleasure. Absolute mind-numbing bliss. The afterglow slowly set in, and everything began to fade, as she mumbled one last time before dreams took her.

 

“i... forget...”