I am a disease.
You see, I’ve always been a visual girl. Back when I was in the fullness of my power, I used to imagine myself darting through campus with a purpose. Untouchable, changing everything around me for the better, sending out ripples that wrinkled the surface of the sea.
Those times are long gone. Now, I despondently drag my feet through the halls, rooms, and grounds of this place. I no longer radiate positive and empowering changes, no. Instead, I am the carrier of a terrible pestilence – so threatening and insidious that it is more a curse, than a mere disease.
The word echoes over and over in my mind, as part of my programming. I turn it over in my head, looking at it from every angle, repeating it so often that it almost starts to lose meaning.
I associate it with images now, because unfortunately, I’m a visual girl. I see all the girls I’ve changed, their confident expressions softening, their determined postures becoming insecure and unassuming. I see the feminism inside them eroding, replaced with docile femininity, the craving for the guidance of a strong, male hand.
I see all these girls – former rivals, former friends, former girlfriends, and above all former feminists – beginning to gravitate around Kevin, like planets around a dark star. All at my doing.
I see them slowly start to converge, drawing closer and closer to Kevin, more and more attentive to his needs, responsive to his words. I see strength becoming weakness, each girl turned from a fighter to a pet. They march to him, heads bowed and eyes glassy, like they’re being inexorably pulled by an invisible leash.
I see myself among them.
The lowest of the low, the one responsible for their downfall. Resisting Kevin’s hold on me is one thing, but now, with all four girls in the harem lording it over me on a daily basis, every single waking moment… my very sense of self is buckling under the strain.
This extends far beyond the harem. Every girl I meet on campus is programmed to treat me with disdain and disrespect, to think of me as nothing more than an available slut. They execute this to perfection, because of course they would: I programmed them myself, and I’ve always been thorough.
This is terrible enough in isolation, but it gets worse, so much worse. All the damage I’m doing to girls is only half the picture, after all. The first part of my punishment, beautifully cruel, but incomplete.
And the second part, well, the second part…
How did I not see this coming? I have supplied Kevin myself with the information he needed to start disarticulating my self-esteem. Of course he would do this. Of course, changing the women here on campus would not be enough, would only be the start.
Now it’s time to change the men, too.
Like I said. I am a disease. I walk dejectedly all day long, waiting for any opportunity to spend five minutes alone with a male student. Anyone will do, really, even people I’ve never spoken more than five words to in my entire time here.
Then, my eyes catch fire, and their strength yields to mine, and I begin to reshape them. I make them a bit more confident, a bit more dismissive of girls’ issues and opinions, a bit more aggressive, more dominant. I manipulate their sexual preferences.
I instruct them to see me as a willing recipe for ogling, catcalling, and groping. To never take me seriously again.
This is going to turn campus into a nightmare, not just for me, but in general. Soon, submissive girls who crave male approval will start interacting with confident guys who demand female subordination. Like a chemical reaction, it will change the entire composition of the student body. The filthy ideas in Kevin’s blog will manifest in the real world.
How long before this entire education facility is turned into a caricature of one of his blog posts?
Of course, not all guys get the same treatment. No, Kevin was very specific about some particular cases…
After all, the first part of my punishment didn’t just include changing girls in general. No, I had to specifically undo all of the positive changes I ever brought about. Kevin wants to drive home the message – it’s his power now, not mine. He can and will undo all the work I’ve ever done, just like he’s undoing my lesbianism. He can and will dismantle all I’ve ever accomplished, just like he’s trying to dismantle me.
One after the other, I visit every guy whose attitudes I ever found problematic. Guys who made sexist comments in public or in private, guys who openly ogled girls, even guys who had a reputation for harassment. I go before them, and set my eyes afire, and remove every single change I’ve ever imposed on them.
Their old, mysoginistic selves are restored… and then some. I turn up their aggression, their willingness to dismiss and demean and objectify women, their sexual appetites and preferences.
Then comes the apology.
One after another, I drop to my knees before them all. With a fateful thud after another, I lose another piece of the girl I used to be. I’m Serena, the militant lesbian with mind control powers, and over the past week, I’ve sucked cock for so many different guys that I’ve officially lost count.
I’m not allowed to talk while I service them. That would ruin the point of the apology, Kevin believes: proper contrition is best shown through silence, and atonement should come in deeds, not words. Besides, what else would a misogynist recommend? Seen and not heard, of course.
And so I mutely submit to these men, who were once instruments of my will, and put my mouth to work in their service.
Some of them do ask me questions. Questions like, “so what’s up with this?” or “is this gonna become a regular thing?” or even, “wait, aren’t you a lesbian?”.
Forbidden from answering, I redouble my efforts, closing my eyes, swirling my tongue around the cock I’m worshipping, distending every facial muscle as I devote every inch of my lips to the eliciting of male pleasure. Humiliatingly, they get used to my silence after a while, and simply sit back and enjoy the treatment… or take the reins, and facefuck me.
Through it all, my programming supplies all sorts of helpful commentary. Isn’t this the most fitting way possible to silence a feminist? Literally shoving a cock down her throat, cutting off every silly pretension, every shrill argument about being a man’s equal?
Is there anything more synonimous with power than a male hand, pressing down on a woman’s head? Pushing her to her knees, limiting her potential, snuffing out her ambition, communicating that she is not to go where she wills, but stay down there and serve? Directing her to a purpose more suited to her skills?
And the worst part?
It makes me so. Fucking. Wet.
I hate this, and I hate that I eroticise it, but I can’t help it. Kevin’s instructions are clear. I respond to male sexual authority, even if I still resist it. I haven’t had a chance to cum in weeks, and with the constant background arousal eroding my will, it’s becoming harder and harder for me not to sexualise this stuff, even without the hypnosis.
I’m undersexed, overstimulated, and losing control. Just like Sandra, I’ve been put in a situation where I am guaranteed to try and resist, but where I have none of the tools I would need to win.
Whose spirit wouldn’t be broken by this? Here I am, kneeling in supplication as every single one of my accomplishments is mercilessly, methodically and systematically undone, and all I can do in response is suck cock like a good, obedient slavegirl. And I find it hot. And I can’t even cum to it.
I am one of the planets, swirling around, chained to the dark star’s orbit. Much like all the other women whose minds I’ve been poisoning, I, too, have been turned from a fighter to a pet.
Unfortunately, the easy part of my atonement is over. Now…
The real nightmare begins.
The moment Logan’s features slacken, letting go of all resistance as the jaws of my power snap firmly shut around him, I find myself thinking of earlier times.
I’ve changed many people, over time. Some changes were small, some big, some meant to help, others to prevent bad behaviour. And a few changes were for my own benefit, of course – well, a bit more than a few, perhaps.
But Logan… he was my first truly big project, back when I was still trying to plumb the depths of my power, understand how far I could push it, how thoroughly I could reshape another person’s mind.
I remember how breathless I felt, seeing the totality of his surrender to me. Here was Logan, one of the biggest assholes on campus, completely helpless in my ever-tightening grip. His ideas weren’t far off from Kevin’s, but Logan was no scrawny, insecure incel, oh no. He was the quarterback, the jock from a filthy rich family, a job in finance already lined-up for him.
He only attended class because he needed the piece of paper at the end, and was sure to remind us at every single turn.
A joke never left his lips, unless it targeted those weaker than him. The marginalised, the poor, and of course, women. He was a shark in waiting, and always took every opportunity to rub it in our faces that he was born a winner, and we weren’t.
You can see the appeal of testing the full might of my powers on such a fine specimen of male toxicity.
And it really was the full might. I didn’t stop at dulling and undoing his misogyny, no, I really went to town with him. He quit the football team (and in fact, the gym, too) and switched to a more respectable hobby – writing feminist poetry.
I made him into an artfully crafted, committed environmentalist, worried about the unsustainability of cars, and fanatical about public transport. I made him drop scotch, and adopt a fervent passion for craft beer. I made him so hopelessly bashful and insecure that he’d never be able to make the first move with a girl again.
In short, I subjected him to what he would consider to be the most emasculating conversion possible. Well, I suppose I could have replaced the craft beer with colourful cocktail drinks, but I found the former option really funny for some reason.
I morphed Logan into the very thing he and his family of rich sociopaths hate the most. It was one of my greatest moments: I’d just gained a new understanding of my powers, and campus had just gained a new woke activist.
I haven’t interacted much with him since. I couldn’t possibly take him seriously, not after remodelling him so easily. All this time, I’ve seen him as a joke, a doll I amused myself with for an afternoon, a walking example of the good my power could do in the world. He wasn’t even a person to me anymore, not really: he was a successfully completed, and very special, project.
And as such, Kevin believes he deserves a special apology…
Undoing my changes is not enough, oh no. This is going to be a new version of Logan… new and improved, you could say, for a given value of “new” and “improved”. The level of poison I’m pouring into his ears is quite frankly disquieting, so much so that I find myself dissociating through it all, listening to my own voice as if it belongs to another person.
“I’ll never me too you,” I say at one point. “Trust me on this, Logan. There’s no need for filters between us. My consent doesn’t matter…”
What’s the opposite of a work of art?
Maybe this, too, is beautiful in a way. A cold, cruel way. The way a devastating forest fire can look beautiful, even as it leaves destruction and death in its wake. I pushed the boundaries of my powers to turn Logan into something he would hate. Now, I’m doing the same thing, to turn him into something I will hate.
Looked at from a distance, it might look almost… poetic.
It seems to take forever, but eventually, the last drop of poison leaves my lips, worming its way into his mind. My power – this evil energy of unfathomable alienage – retreats into my mind, and Logan’s eyes begin to flutter as he slowly regains consciousness.
I snap my fingers, trying to bring him back faster. I mournfully reflect this might well be the last time I’m ever bossy with Logan.
“Welcome back,” I tell him. “Bet you’re feeling great! Well, your day is about to get even better.”
Logan blinks at me, in confusion. I flash him an entirely involuntary smile, the programming pulling the strings of my muscles, even as my trapped mind beats desperately against the glass.
“You’re taking me on a date tonight,” I say, batting my eyelashes at him. Yes, I’m actually batting them, God I just wish for death right now.
Logan seems to compose himself, and stares me down with a look of appraisal. Now that I no longer have any kind of power over him, I become acutely aware of the massive difference in height and bulk between us. Even his… lifestyle change hasn’t softened his body, he’s built like a truck.
How many women, in human history, have experienced this particular moment? Feeling too threatened and vulnerable to speak up for themselves, intimidated by a man’s imposing physical presence, fearful that something will happen to them, if they don’t comply?
I used to be immune from that sort of thing. Now, I’m programmed to seek it out and reward it.
I gulp, feeling Logan’s eyes inspect every part of my body with complete impunity, his gaze literally crawling all over me. But it’s not just my body he’s evaluating. I feel like he’s trying to look into my very soul, to see my character for what it actually is… or rather, for what my own hypnosis has told him I’m actually like.
He slaps me.
It’s a casual gesture, to him. A lazy backhand, hitting me square in the cheek, a gesture of supreme disrespect and contempt, more than a blow meant to cause pain. Even so, I’m a girl – a tall one, but still a girl – and he’s a hulking behemoth. The impact makes me lose my footing and I find myself half-stumbling, half-falling.
I hit the ground with one knee, one hand leaning against the wall for support, while the other brushes my cheek. It feels like it’s on fire.
I’m in shock.
The sudden gesture, the sting of humiliation, the pain of the impact… it’s too much. Slowly, I look up at him, all too aware that my lip is trembling, and tears are starting to form in my eyes.
“You will never,” Logan says in a very serious tone, “ever speak to me unless spoken to, first. Understood, Froggy?”
I give a hesitant nod, every single muscle of my body trembling.
“Good doll,” Logan says, patting my head like he would a dog. “Date it is. I’ll pick you up at eight. Just need to find where I left my car first, it’s been a while… anyway. Wear something slutty.”
He doesn’t even wait for me to answer. His order imparted, his superiority clearly asserted, he turns his back to me and walks away, whistling an innocent tune to himself.
I stay there in the hallway, on my knees, trembling like a leaf. It’s hard to believe I once commanded the power of the stars at my fingertips… how distant that feels, now. Now, I’m just Froggy, a silly girl in a man’s world, shaking and crying, and most of all, complying.
No wonder I find myself thinking of earlier times. There is nothing in the present for me.
Only more horror.
Here’s a funny thought.
By this point, I’ve sucked so many cocks that what used to be my lesbian gold star might as well have been airdropped into a volcano; I’ve also been fucked a fair number of times. And yet, this is my very first date with a man.
And what a date it’s been so far.
Logan’s picked the time, the place, and the food… as well as my outfit, if it qualifies as that, since the little dress I’m wearing is designed to show as much flesh as possible. He’s opened every door for me, every inch the gentleman… except I never dared to say thanks out loud.
I’m not to speak, unless spoken to.
Isn’t that an incredibly poignant encapsulation of centuries of patriarchy? An elegant and refined exterior of propriety, with the horror lurking underneath. A velvet glove, but beneath the glove, the bitter steel.
Every element of this extremely stereotypical date makes a mockery of being addressed to my pleasure only, but it’s a pantomime. I don’t get to contribute in any form: not to choosing the place or the food or even my own clothes, let alone to the conversation. My presence here is purely decorative.
This extensive patriarchal repertoire is being condensed and beamed straight into me, like a drilling laser. I wince under its flaring intensity, and I feel more and more constrained, more and more pushed into a corner.
The hypnosis makes me act the part of the enthusiastic accessory… for the most part, but not always. Every time my eyes meet Logan’s, my lips tremble. I still remember the slap. Fear is a powerful emotion, powerful enough that there are cracks in the mask.
Logan doesn’t really care, obviously. I designed him not to. It’s not my smiles he’s interested in.
He’s currently wolfing down his steak, while I pointlessly worry at my salad with my fork – his choice for me, naturally. I’m too nervous to eat. Many girls in my position at this point would be dreading what comes after, but this fear of the unknown does not apply, here. I know exactly what’s going to happen when we leave the restaurant.
I’ve programmed it myself.
At last, the dinner concludes, such as it is, and I find myself standing beside Logan, talking politely to the cashier right before he foots the bill. His superficially charming, suave persona is on full display, but I know I won’t be having any of that, the moment we step out the door.
The drive back goes by in silence.
We’re not going back to the dorm, of course. He booked a room for the night, I don’t even know where. I specifically instructed him not to tell me, and not to consult with me over it. Over anything.
It’s a seedy motel in the middle of nowhere, of course, nothing but the two-lane road, and empty stretches of land on either side. Exactly the sort of place Logan’s new programming would prioritise for someone like me.
We’ve barely just made it past the door when, in a flash, Logan’s hand is around my wrist.
His grip is tight enough to hurt, and it takes all my willpower – plus a healthy dose of hypnosis and fear – to stay quiet. I know my punishment would be even harsher if I dared make a scene. I don’t have it in me to look at Logan as he slowly pulls my hand towards his crotch.
I close my eyes, as the palm of my hand cups the erection building under his pants. It’s weird… I’ve been submitting to cocks for a while now, as part of my undykeing, but this sort of contact, while theoretically less intimate, feels worse in a way. More symbolic.
Logan’s fingers cup my chin. I offer no resistance as he turns my head to face his, and I find myself staring into his blue eyes. Blue and cold, like chipped ice.
Logan was always a bad person. I transformed him the first time, of course, but now I’ve rolled him back, and exasperated all his worst character traits. I don’t know if it’s the impact of the multiple changes, or just my thoroughness in corrupting him earlier today, because his eyes look so dead to me.
There’s no soul in there. It’s not even that he sees me as a sex doll for his pleasure, this is the nonchalant stare one reserves for a thing. A thing of no particular value.
“Look, I don’t know what’s up with you lately, Serena. But I know for a fact you’ve always been a lesbian,” he says at last, in a flat and completely unremarkable tone of voice. “Now, believe me when I say this: that makes it even more fun for me.”
Then, he shoves me onto the bed.
It’s minimal exertion for him, but given his strength, I feel like I’ve been sent flying. That, and his words, and the hypnosis, and the fear… I feel a surreal moment of dissociation, like I’m not really in this room anymore. Like I’m not Serena anymore.
Maybe Serena went away the very moment Kevin first turned the tables on me.
I don’t even have the chance to take my shoes off, or in any way facilitate Logan’s work – as the hypnosis demands – that he’s already on top of me, his fingers fumbling with my skimpy clothing, trying to unwrap his present.
Responding to male aggression and authority. I meekly submit to his ministrations, because this isn’t really sex, it’s about control. It’s about Kevin’s punishment of me. I dared challenge Logan’s misogyny, and now I need to experience it in full. To become a toy for his amusement.
The way Logan easily manipulates me on the bed, tossing me over so my face is against the mattress, is humiliating. I must be light as a feather to him, and my hypnotic programming immediately seizes on this to continue undermining me.
He’s quite literally manhandling me, and with such ease. How could I ever think myself his equal? I grit my teeth, trying to reclaim some semblance of my identity, of my sanity, but then Logan’s hand presses down against my head.
Once again, that goddamn symbol. The limiting of a girl’s potential. The snuffing of her ambition. So easy for him to pin me down one-handed, my face literally turned away from him because my expression doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t see me as a person.
Face sinking into the mattress, back arched, cunt presenting, knees folded beneath me. I look ridiculous and pathetic, broken and tamed, a far cry from the cocky, strong girl who could wield the power of the sea in storm.
Logan’s other hand lands possessively on my rear. And then, he begins to fuck me.
As I lie there and take it, it strikes me how similar this is to my first time with Kevin. Except, Kevin simply had no idea what he was doing. He had no regards for me, sure, but he was also fumbling and uncertain.
Logan is not. This callous behaviour, this complete lack of foreplay, is deliberately done to hurt me. To spite me. To continue progressively disassembling me as a person. Were it not for the quiet lubrication provided by my background arousal, this would probably really hurt. Instead, I grunt in discomfort, to which he reacts by pressing my face deeper into the mattress.
Logan is not seeking to fuck my brains out. He’s deliberately taking his pace, treating my cunt like a fleshlight, going at whatever rhythm he finds more suitable to his needs. Sometimes slower, sometimes faster. Never looking for any sign of feedback from me, and why would he? Right now, I’m just his sex toy.
But what really kills me is that part of me is enjoying this. It’s more sexual contact than I’ve had in a long time, and my undersexed, overstimulated brain is naturally responding to it – with the help of the hypnosis.
I was a goddess, and I’ve been dethroned. I’m not just a social inferior to every guy and girl on campus, I’ve been turned into a cumdump for the entire male student body. I’ve just had the farthest thing from a date I could ever have wished for, and I’m having the farthest thing from a sexual experience I might have ever wanted for myself. And all because Kevin is trying to break me.
And yet, I’m enjoying this. Because that’s how you break submissives. I would know, I’ve done it so many times. Until the fearsome wrath of my own power began to reshape me, in turn.
I’m apologising to this jock. I’m doing so with my body, my feminine sexuality. I’m doing it in submissive silence, a mute acknowledgement that I dared rise above my station, and have been deservedly cast back down, where I belong.
To my horror, Logan’s stamina is as impressive as his physical condition would suggest. I find myself panting, drenched in sweat. The sheets are filthy beneath me, and the entire room stinks of sex, but I can’t utter a single word unless spoken to, first. And Logan hasn’t spoken to me since tossing me on the bed.
After what feels like forever, Logan pulls out, grunting, his seed being released all over my back, marking my body as his property. For a second, I blink, confused. It never even occurred to me to ask him to pull out, and his order would have prevented me from asking anyway.
I’m so, so fucking lucky he had the presence of mind to pull out. But what if he hadn’t?
The thought sends an uncontrollable shudder of fear through me. It’s a stark reminder that this is not a game, that the consequences of my slow descent at Kevin’s hands can be very dangerous, and very, very real.
Yes, by this point I’ve been violated, mastered, and man-fucked more times than I can count. But the worst part of all is that my mind – not just my mind control powers, but my mind in general – is no longer my weapon.
It is the weapon of the enemy.
It’s the day after.
Logan drops me at the entrance of campus without a word, then drives off towards the garage, whistling a merry tune. I programmed him to simply stop caring about me after our date. Kevin’s idea, really – this was supposed to be my apology to Logan, of course Kevin isn’t about to permanently loan me to another man.
No, he’ll keep me at his feet instead, permanently aroused and reduced into chastity, until I can’t even think straight. And of course, my traitorous mind finds that almost… thrilling…
I stare at Logan’s car as it recedes down the road, but that’s not what I’m really looking at. I’m staring into space, in a way.
The world feels different now, than it did yesterday.
My best shot at wrestling free of Kevin’s control has led me to a humiliation at the hands of my own harem; then to the first part of my punishment; and now, to this. My accomplishments as a mind controller have been erased, as if retroactively denying I ever had my powers in the first place.
My own personal growth is also being reversed, as I am relegated back to being Froggy. And finally, I have become an instrument of Kevin’s will, the sword he wields to slowly corrupt everyone around him from the inside.
I need to always be honest and truthful with Kevin. So of course, I told him exactly what he needed to do to annihilate me. Then, I carried the plan out myself. So, he has succeeded… but most importantly, it’s not even a victory he’s earned. I’ve handcrafted my own destruction myself.
I give a low chuckle, considering at how spectacular it’s turned out to be. I always was good at this mind control stuff. Even if I never expected things would end quite like this.
I don’t know what else Kevin has in store for me next, although part of me does want to muster one last burst of resistance, of defiance. No matter how strangely alluring defeat is beginning to look, no matter how much my mind bombards me with visions of my strength turning to weakness, the former dominatrix falling to her knees, as a collar snaps shut around her neck…
I pinch myself. Damn. This is exactly why I should try to come up with a plan, because if I don’t win free now, I never will. But I don’t really want to think about that right now.
As I walk through campus, hands in my pockets and head lowered, I tell myself that plans and decisions can wait. I have one final stop to make, before my punishment is finally complete.
I don’t even bother to knock on the door of the office I’m seeking. I know my target isn’t busy with anything else at this hour of the day, his office having just opened, and I know he’ll welcome me willingly.
Professor Carter looks up from his desk, his watery eyes large and tremulous behind his glasses. “Miss Pulling!” He says. “Did we have an appointment? I must have forgotten, oh I’m so sorry…”
I shake my head, sighing. Carter is so slavish with me, because of course, I made him like this. He always was a slimy creature, a serial ogler who sexually propositioned female students in exchange for good grades. Until I stepped in, and transformed him into a deontologically impeccable teacher, and an avid reader of feminist literature.
In fact, Carter was the very last person I got to change, before the… incident with Kevin. As such, it’s fitting that he is the last name on my punishment list, too.
“Not at all, professor,” I say in a low voice. “I’ve come to apologise.”
He hesitates, his brow furrowing. “Apologise? Whatever for, Miss Pulling?”
In his confusion, his eyes meet mine.
As always, that’s how it begins.
My powers have already broken Carter once. So now, as they radiate forth from me, they meet no resistance, not a single ounce of it. The rolling waves of the sea besiege him from every direction, overwhelming his senses. They keep on coming. They never stop.
Living beings may tire, but not the sea. This is the lesson I myself should have remembered, when this reversal of power with Kevin began. All resistance flails and peters out, eventually… but the waves continue to surge.
Carter is old and weak, and under the layer of my changes to him, his impulses lie dormant. He’s always been completely incapable of self control. I know that, the moment I undo those changes, he will go back to being his old, lecherous self…
And, this time, he’ll find an entire campus of female students, eager and willing to submit to his sexual advances. Absolutely adamant that the only way a girl can earn a good grade is by sleeping with her professor. He’ll never face the consequences of his actions, nobody will stop him.
He wins. I lose. Is there any better proof that we live in a terrible universe, one fundamentally hostile to us? I always was a fool to think anything good could ever come from the power of the stars. It was not meant for us to better ourselves.
It’s like a knife, a spear, the barrel of a gun. It’s a weapon to remake and enforce and destroy. It’s devastatingly effective… but not good.
I’ve used it liberally, and look where that’s gotten me. I am better and stronger than Carter in every way, and yet, as Kevin dismantles me, he gets what he wants, and I get… chastity, and domestication, and…
Not now. I need to focus.
I gently, methodically remove every single change. No more reading feminist and queer theory. No more respect for female students – in fact, let’s turn the misogyny dial up a little. No more impulse control, you don’t need to worry,
Carter, no girl on campus is gonna be able to oppose a man’s will any time soon.
And then, I snap his fingers, and his eyes regain focus, darting this and that way, taking in his surroundings.
“Uh, Serena,” he says, and part of me cringes at the way he’s switched to using my first name. “Sorry, I must have spaced out. What… what were you going to apologise about?”
I remember my instructions. Proper contrition is best shown through silence, and atonement should come in deeds, not words. I am purely decorative, anyway. A man’s accessory. Seen and not heard.
It occurs to me that girls will yield to Carter’s sexual advances in order to get better grades. But not me, oh no. After originally getting him to raise my grade, I’ve just instructed him to lower it again… far below where it used to be before I ever controlled him. I’m about to completely debase myself, and I won’t even get an academic reward for it.
I suppose that’s the point of apologising, right?
One last time, I fall to my knees. I lower myself before this man, a man I always considered to be spineless and pathetic, a worm I could crush under my boot. Yet now even he stands taller than I, both literally and metaphorically.
What does that say about me?
Wordlessly, I crawl beneath his desk. His programming takes over, and uttering no words of surprise, he makes room for me, his old spidery hands crawling through my hair while I work at his pants.
I’m getting good at this, with so much practice. I seal my lips around his cock, lavishing it with attention, fellating it gently and then faster and then slower, swirling my tongue around it in apology. He’ll be getting head from his female students every day for the rest of his life, I know, but I also suspect he’ll remember this one instance very fondly.
As I suck and bob my head up and down, his hands cradling my head – again, the supreme act of male power – it’s not even his cock I’m focusing on, like its features aren’t even registering. I feel like, in a way, I’m fellating every man I’ve ever challenged. My lesbian lips are paying homage to cock, being conquered by it, and my feminism is being silenced, replaced by a series of slurping, gurgling sounds more befitting of a slave girl.
Perhaps there can be fulfillment in living out my life as a simple, voiceless, obedient creature. Maybe it isn’t so bad, to go from a fighter to a pet. But as Carter sighs in appreciation of my oral service, I once again remind myself that this is not a game, and the risks are very, very real.
“That’s it,” he says, ruffling my hair. “That hits the spot. I always knew you were academically gifted.”
His demeaning words – so casual, so devastatingly cruel, spoken by a person I disrespect so much – are a lightning bolt that travels straight to my cunt. I squeal in glee and arousal around his cock, nothing but a broken and conquered oral doll at his feet.
And that’s when my eyes snap open, as I think back to the last time I was in this mental state. To Logan pulling out at the last second, before I’d even had a single chance to worry about it.
This is not a game.
I am relishing the opportunity to suck my misogynistic professor’s cock to completion, and that tells me one thing, and one thing only, a terrible truth that can no longer be postponed or denied, but demands to be confronted. I may have once been a fierce tiger, but if I don’t win free of Kevin’s leash now…
I never will.