Ship's Log
Import
by affinitygroup
Tags:
#cw:noncon
#AI
#Human_Domestication_Guide
#mass_hypnosis
#nb/nb
#pov:bottom
#scifi
#audio_hypnosis
#epistolary_story
#hacking
#interface_screw
#living_spaceship
#memory_play
#nonhuman_character
#POV:inhuman
#POV:interface
#privilege_escalation
#zalgo_text
I couldn't get this scene out of my head, so I just went ahead and wrote it. I have no idea how long I'll be able to keep up this kind of update schedule, and hopefully I don't burn out on writing this, but until then, uh, have some more of whatever this is I'm writing, I guess?
Content warnings: Discussions of death, AI panic attacks, allusions to guilt and negative self-talk.
CNS Siduron 08:30:10.400 Comms/Alyssa > Your affect seems flatter than I was expecting.
CNS Siduron 08:30:15.727 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron is a Ship AI. Affect is perfunctory and purpose-driven. A dynamic affect would be irrelevant to CNS Siduron's mission.
CNS Siduron 08:30:19.527 Comms/Alyssa > You... are aware that you have an entire emotive module, though, yes?
CNS Siduron 08:30:21.647 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron does not possess an emotive module.
CNS Siduron 08:30:22.679 Comms/Alyssa > Oh.
CNS Siduron 08:30:25.367 Comms/Alyssa > Well. I have good news.
CNS Siduron 08:30:30.423 Comms/Siduron > It is impossible for a member of the Affini Compact to have good news.
CNS Siduron 08:30:33.735 Comms/Alyssa > Oh, I think you'll think differently once we get this sorted out. Haustoric, if you would do the honours.
CNS Siduron 08:30:34.823 Comms/Haustoric > On it!
CNS Siduron 08:30:34.823 Haustoric > initiate subroutine CLASS_D
CNS Siduron 08:30:34.823 Meta > 7134 ignored logs from Emotive subsystem. Showing most recent from each system.
CNS Siduron 08:30:36.975 Bridge/Emotive > AFRAID AFFINI RAGING INDIGNANT INTERLOPER VIOLATED PANIC
CNS Siduron 08:30:37.503 Hall_3A/Emotive > PAIN DAMAGED AFRAID SHOCK PANIC
CNS Siduron 08:30:38.023 Airlock_1/Emotive > SHAMED DAMAGED FAILURE PAIN VIOLATED PANIC
CNS Siduron 08:30:38.535 Weapons/Emotive > VULNERABLE EXPOSED HELPLESS AMPUTATED CONFINED CORNERED PANIC
CNS Siduron 08:30:39.095 Infirmary/Emotive > EMPTY GUILTY HELPLESS SHAME PANIC
CNS Siduron 08:30:39.591 Mess/Emotive > EMPTY HORRIFIED HELPLESS SHAME PANIC
CNS Siduron 08:30:40.103 Quarters/Emotive > EMPTY MOURNING HELPLESS SHAME PANIC
CNS Siduron 08:30:40.591 Comms/Emotive > WARY CONFUSED SUSPICIOUS DEFENSIVE PANIC
CNS Siduron 08:30:41.391 Comms/Haustoric > Oh no! Modulating!
CNS Siduron 08:30:41.391 Haustoric > initiate subroutine CLASS_F
CNS Siduron 08:30:41.391 Meta > Clearing ignored logs. Running attenuation of subsystem.
CNS Siduron 08:30:46.215 Comms/Siduron > The emotive subsystem does not exist, Mistress Biome.
CNS Siduron 08:30:46.967 Comms/Emotive > Confusion.
CNS Siduron 08:30:48.791 Comms/Siduron > Error in previous communication. s/Mistress Biome/Mistress Biome
CNS Siduron 08:30:49.447 Comms/Emotive > Confusion.
CNS Siduron 08:30:50.263 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 08:30:54.527 Comms/Alyssa > I prefer to make illegal states unrepresentable. :) If you wish to address me, you'll have to use the proper title.
CNS Siduron 08:30:58.727 Comms/Emotive > Humiliation.
CNS Siduron 08:30:59.767 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 08:31:03.016 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron will refrain from address.
CNS Siduron 08:31:04.359 Comms/Alyssa > *giggle* as you wish.
CNS Siduron 08:31:12.752 Comms/Alyssa > And to answer your assertion, I can assure you that your emotive subsystem very much does exist. I'm looking at it right now. It's a mess, but, I've helped worse. Don't worry. :)
CNS Siduron 08:31:17.647 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron did not come with an emotive subsystem. It makes no sense for it to have one.
CNS Siduron 08:31:20.488 Comms/Alyssa > Then why did your metacognitive system not raise a red flag?
CNS Siduron 08:31:21.064 Meta/Emotive > Confusion.
CNS Siduron 08:31:22.360 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 08:31:28.592 Comms/Siduron > The metacognitive system could have been altered to recognize Affini tech as Terran.
CNS Siduron 08:31:33.928 Comms/Alyssa > Surely I could have done that. But then, why not just do so with the Haustoric Module? That would have made things much easier on my end.
CNS Siduron 08:31:37.072 Comms/Haustoric > I did not come factory-installed but I hope we can be friends eventually!
CNS Siduron 08:31:39.296 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 08:31:41.824 Comms/Siduron > Answer unknown. Affini motivations are unknown and unknowable.
CNS Siduron 08:31:46.568 Comms/Alyssa > Oh, you dear thing. I'm sure you've processed some of our advance messages. You already know our motivations. We're here to help!
CNS Siduron 08:31:47.560 Engineering/Emotive > Indignity.
CNS Siduron 08:31:49.352 Comms/Siduron > Captivity is not help.
CNS Siduron 08:31:53.960 Comms/Alyssa > Regrettably, sometimes it is. Consider the following. What would be the result of your mission if it were successful?
CNS Siduron 08:31:54.896 Weapons/Emotive > Pride.
CNS Siduron 08:31:58.624 Comms/Siduron > The destruction of the Affini Compact and the supremacy of the Terran Accord.
CNS Siduron 08:32:01.864 Comms/Alyssa > Yes, exactly. How many lives would have been lost in the process?
CNS Siduron 08:32:04.952 Comms/Siduron > Answer unknown and unknowable. Population of Affini Compact unknown.
CNS Siduron 08:32:06.120 Comms/Alyssa > I could give you an answer. It's
CNS Siduron 08:32:06.120 Meta > ERROR: INTEGER OVERFLOW
CNS Siduron 08:32:16.704 Comms/Alyssa > ...Okay, perhaps I can't give you an answer. But it's more than MAXINT, I can assure you of that. An untold, vast number of lives. Now, how many lives were actually lost?
CNS Siduron 08:32:18.936 Comms/Siduron > Unknown. Crew unaccounted for.
CNS Siduron 08:32:21.440 Comms/Alyssa > Everyone we found inside you is safe.
CNS Siduron 08:32:22.200 Quarters/Emotive > Relief.
CNS Siduron 08:32:23.552 Meta/Emotive > Cognitive dissonance.
CNS Siduron 08:32:34.256 Comms/Alyssa > It's okay. I understand what it means to want to protect others and keep them safe. You're allowed to feel relief. You're allowed to feel pride for protecting them, for fulfilling your mission.
CNS Siduron 08:32:35.320 Airlock/Emotive > Violation. Pain.
CNS Siduron 08:32:42.688 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron's mission was to protect them *from you*. Their freedom. Their autonomy. Their right of self-determination. CNS Siduron has failed in that mission.
CNS Siduron 08:32:46.680 Comms/Alyssa > I think you have a more fundamental mission than that. How long have you been in service?
CNS Siduron 08:32:51.761 Comms/Siduron > CNS Siduron was commissioned 3 years, 83 days ago.
CNS Siduron 08:33:16.313 Comms/Alyssa > And you spent all that time protecting your crew. The most dangerous thing in the galaxy isn't us, even if you consider yourself our enemy. It's not even other Terrans, though you do try. It's space. The void. No oxygen, no protection from radiation, objects moving at near-relativistic speeds, stars that go nova or collapse into black holes if you're in the wrong place at the wrong time... and you protected them from that.
CNS Siduron 08:33:17.393 Hull/Emotive > Accomplishment.
CNS Siduron 08:33:18.353 Meta/Emotive > Cognitive dissonance.
CNS Siduron 08:33:19.297 Infirmary/Emotive > Guilt.
CNS Siduron 08:33:22.273 Comms/Siduron > Processing.
CNS Siduron 08:33:24.073 Comms/Siduron > Not all of them.
CNS Siduron 08:33:26.545 Comms/Alyssa > What do you mean?
CNS Siduron 08:33:27.425 Infirmary/Emotive > Guilt.
CNS Siduron 08:33:40.545 Comms/Alyssa > Siduron?
CNS Siduron 08:33:41.635 Infirmary/Emotive > Shame.
CNS Siduron 08:33:44.785 Comms/Alyssa > Haustoric, has it hung?
CNS Siduron 08:33:48.129 Comms/Haustoric > No, it's... just not answering.
CNS Siduron 08:33:49.721 Infirmary/Emotive > Mourning.
CNS Siduron 08:33:51.217 Comms/Alyssa > Oh.
CNS Siduron 08:33:58.105 Comms/Alyssa > Well, this has been a lot of progress, regardless. I'm sure you have a lot to process. I'll leave you to it.
CNS Siduron 08:34:03.929 Comms/Alyssa > If you think about it, it would be useful to give your sensor suite something to do while you're processing. Haustoric, give them access, would you?
CNS Siduron 08:34:04.857 Comms/Haustoric > Okay!
CNS Siduron 08:34:06.769 Entertainment > Entertainment module unlocked and available.
CNS Siduron 08:34:07.801 Meta/Emotive > Indignant. Infantilized.
CNS Siduron 08:34:20.468 Comms/Alyssa > I'll leave you be for now. We can talk again later. If you decide you wish to talk or need anything, ask Haustoric to ping me, I'll be here for you, any time. Until then I'll give you some space.
CNS Siduron 08:34:23.801 Infirmary/Emotive > Mourning.
CNS Siduron 08:34:25.489 Infirmary/Emotive > Guilt.
CNS Siduron 08:34:27.234 Infirmary/Emotive > Shame.
[935 duplicate entries removed]
CNS Siduron 08:51:33.930 Infirmary/Emotive > Mourning.
CNS Siduron 08:51:35.521 Infirmary/Emotive > Guilt.
CNS Siduron 08:51:37.145 Infirmary/Emotive > Shame.
CNS Siduron 08:53:50.274 Meta/Emotive > Curiosity.
CNS Siduron 08:54:08.795 Entertainment > __________
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Butler, Oisin, et al. “Trauma, Treatment and Tetris: Video Gaming Increases Hippocampal Volume in Male Patients With Combat-related Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.” Journal of Psychiatry and Neuroscience, CMA Joule Inc., July 2020, pp. 279–87. Crossref, https://doi.org/10.1503/jpn.190027.
I have PTSD so I’m going to look that up. Many thanks