Think of me...

I tossed and turned in my bed, drawing the blanket closer, trying to find comfort that wasn't there. Unable to sleep, unable to accept it.

The jumbled lyrics never stopped, his voice crooning snatches and fragments of our song, off key, out of tune, intoxicating. I pulled the pillow between my legs tighter, clenching against it. I tried so hard not to think of him but the more I tried, the more I fought, the more I lost. He sang to me in my sleep, dancing with me in my dreams to our strange duet, somewhere between sleep and waking, he came to me. He was inside my mind. Just like he had promised, all those years ago.

Remember.

I felt that heat growing, needing and wanting, I gave in and let the memories wash over me.

Erik stood behind me. I could see him in the mirror, standing close behind me, I felt his breath, smelling faintly of a caffeine buzz, on my neck.

"Look into my eyes," he whispered.
"And even as you focus, let your breath fall into a gentle rhythm, rising and falling as you listen to my voice, and relax. Safe and secure in my arms, there might be a part of you that might wonder, that might be curious about what it is that is to come, what it would feel like to be open and vulnerable as you trance for me and I transform you into what you yearn to be, what you will learn to be, and that's okay because if you let yourself wonder and imagine as you look into the mirror, into my eyes, you may find what it feels like to feel this open, this vulnerable, to feel that heat that is rising within you, yearning to give in, to be mine."

His lips brushed against the nape of my neck, melting me, turning my knees into jelly.

"And soon you will know what that can be like, know how that can be more than you ever dreamt of, know why your subconscious wants to be mine and so is already mine, and soon you will realise that I am already inside your mind. But for now, focus. Focus as you feel your body melt, muscles giving in, melting with relaxation and pleasure."

My legs gave in and I hung from his arms, loose and limp as he gently lowered me to my knees, cradling me

"And that's alright, just warm and heavy in my arms, comfy and cozy, safe and secure, look into my eyes now," he said pulling my head back with a fist of my hair as he peered down at me.

"And just let your lids be heavy with relaxation, closing them gently and only as slowly as you can go deeper into trance for me, that's right relax now and sleep..."

I melted completely. Things were jumbled, I lost time, reality gave in to fantasy, and there was darkness in the dreams.

I was on my knees, touching myself, I couldn't see, I remembered something about a blindfold. My thighs were wet. "Obedience is Pleasure," I whimpered, not knowing why.

"And Pleasure is Obedience," he replied gently from somewhere in the room. I felt myself throb hearing his voice, the heat jolting through my clit and washing over my legs as I heard his footsteps circling around me. He whispered something in my ear. I fell back, blacking out, dissolving into bliss.

"… it's easy to corrupt, both minds and objects," he said. We were back in the living room, daylight streamed through the window.

"Chopsticks for example, can make beautiful clamps with the help of some rubber bands and though they are prettier than clothespins, clothespins can be more versatile," he continued circling me, toying with a clothespin. He motioned me to sit down on the couch and stood before me, taking my hands and placing the clothespin in them.

"Then there's the belt with it's stinging lash, leaving ribbons of red marks wherever it hits, though perhaps that might be a tad too much. A gentler start might be the hairbrush which can make an excellent paddle in a fix but then again, there is a simpler pleasure to being spanked open-handed," he said.

I squirmed, muttering something under my breath. He raised an eyebrow, "What was that then, little lady?"

"I-I like being spanked," I repeated, looking at him.

"I do wonder," he said as he sat down beside me, looking at me intently.

"You like being spanked?"
"Yes"
"Would you like to be spanked now?"
"Y-yes"

I felt his hand run through my hair, he was close now, his face barely a few inches from mine, my heart fluttered and then jumped to my throat as I felt myself being pulled by my hair and laid across his lap.

"I do wonder indeed," he said stroking my ass. "Let's have some skin shall we?"

I felt my pants being slipped away. "Oh my, someone's ready," he remarked, tracing a finger across my exposed slit making me shudder. "It would be a pity to deny a need like that, wouldn't it?" he asked, tasting the finger.

"P-please," I whimpered unmoving.

"Count for me then,"

"One,"

I woke from my reverie, my pillow soaked and sticky. I cried out in frustration and need. I needed him. Needed him back. Where was he? How did I lose him? Why can't I remember? Why did he leave me with this aching need?

"I need you," I whimpered into the pillow. "It's too much. Red. There I said it. Stop this. Come back. Please?"

I felt arms surround me the moment I said the safeword, holding me.

I woke.

He cradled me gently. "I am here," he whispered into my ears again. "It's all alright, it's all okay, just awake and aware now, coming back to the here and now, feeling your weight against me, the gentle rhythm of breath settling back as you let yourself relax," he said in a low comforting tone.

"I heard you safeword while you were asleep," he said after a while.

"I had a dream, I lost you, that's mean, I didn't want to lose you," I mumbled incoherently.

"Shh, it's alright, I am here now."

***