[Week 1.0]

Luna fingered the collar around her neck as the group walked back to campus. It was tight, comforting, a reminder that she belonged to something now. The prospect of discussing her schedule, things as intimate as her grooming habits or her electrolysis sessions or laser appointments, it all terrified her a little, but if they demanded she expose herself, they couldn’t really hate what they found, could they? At worst they’d change it. And Miriam had made it violently clear already that her being transgender would not be an issue.

She hoped she could live up to what they wanted her to become.

Their little group finally reached the cafeteria, and everyone swiped their meal cards. Luna followed Diana in, then realized too late that she was had led them to the women’s restroom. Luna froze. Diana kept walking, but then turned around halfway through door. She started at Luna, puzzlement showing in her eyes.

“Didn’t you have to go?” the cis girl asked.

Luna shook her head. There was no way she was going to enter a public women’s restroom. “I’m fine, thank you.”

Diana shrugged and walked into the bathroom. Luna awkwardly browsed Twitter on her phone while she waited. Fortunately Diana didn’t ask any question when she came out, and they walked back to the cafeteria without further incident.

Luna wasn’t exactly sure how to act here. Miriam had made it clear she needed to let Diana eat first, but was she supposed to serve her food? Two trays would be difficult to carry but she could do it?
She resolved to just let Diana take the lead. The future minder picked up her own tray, so Luna just went along with it. That’s what she was supposed to do, right? Go along with things?

The only instruction they’d received regarding food was no more sugar-y deserts for potential servants–potential minders got to eat whatever they wanted. Luna got herself a meal that looked mostly-healthy, then followed Diana back to the table. Their bathroom detour hadn’t taken long, and they caught up with the rest of the group just as they gathered at a large enough table.

Luna waited a moment for the potential minders among them, Riga, Diana, and Arie, to chose seats, mindful of needing to ask for permission to use furniture. On the way over she’d owrried that waiting for permission would feel awkward, but now it was just nice that she didn’t need to initiate. If it was awkward, one of the future minders would say something. She expected the other potential servants to do the same. Instead, just as the minders were about to sit down, Claire grabbed the nearest chair and sat first.

There was a moment of silence as everyone’s gears spun out. Claire had, less than an hour after being ordered to obedience, asked the most important question: ‘or else?’ And it was clear no one had prepared for it.

Luna was both impressed by the determination and a little dumbfounded at the aggression.

Diana found her words first. “Aren’t you supposed to ask?”

Luna could have cut the tension with a knife. But she didn’t want to cut anything–she wanted to disappear.

Claire’s shoulders looked tense, but the shake of her head was dismissive. “It’s dumb, and I’m not doing it, especially not in public.”

Diana looked helplessly over at Arie, then at Riga on the other side of the table. Arie’s face made it absolutely clear that she didn’t care one way or the other. Riga shrugged. There was another moment of awkward silence as Diana realized she was alone in this.

Gradually, like a pack of embarrassed wolves, the minders took their seats themselves.

Persephone spoke up, looking down at Riga next to her. “May we sit down miss?”

Relief flooded Luna when Riga nodded. “You all may.”

With considerably less hesitation, Persephone, Luna, and Becca joined the seated group. Persephone ended up between Riga and Becca. Arie and Luna made up the other end, sitting just on the opposite side of the long table. Claire sat at the corner, and Diana took up the head of the table between her and Becca.

Arie began eating as everybody else got settled, and Claire, Riga, and Diana dug in as well.

There was another moment of hesitation between the remaining servants. Luna decided she could take the initiative this time. She turned to Arie. “May we begin eating, mx?”

They gave her a look that was definitely dismissive. “You don’t need to ask us to eat. You’re permitted once we’ve started.” They’d barely even looked up from their food.

A shiver ran down Luna’s spine–she’d done something wrong, and been chastised for it. Arie must hate her. But she pulled herself together and began eating herself. Diana’s apologetic smile helped soothe some of her feelings.

The dinner conversation was muted. Everyone was still processing their first house meeting, and processing it with the people who they had just been placed above or below felt strange.

Becca found the courage to break the silence.

“What do–” Her eyes remained stuck to her food. “What do you all think this means?”

Riga put down her fork. “It sounds like… we are sort of in charge of you? Or at least we will be, later on.”

“Weird structure for a sorority,” Persephone said.

“Yeah,” Arie smirked, ”but it seems kind of fun.”

Claire snorted. “Easy for you to say. You get to boss others around. You lucked out.”

To Luna’s surprise it was Becca who contradicted her. “I– I actually prefer this? I think? The servants today looked so confident, and they didn’t have to talk.”

“I’m kind of sad I didn’t get a cuff,” Persephone said, “but even though it’s weird this is also all just kind of cool? Like, the whole concept is sort of radical.”

Riga looked up from her food again.

“How so?” She asked. Her slight nordic accent gave the question extra weight.

Persephone looked at a painting on the far wall for a moment, gathering her thoughts. “I mean, they all seem to sort of rely on each other in a deep way? I don’t know if you guys made it to their rush event, but they’re all constantly on the same page. And the way Neha and Miriam communicate with barely even a glance? You can’t tell me you don’t want to be able to do that.”

Arie chimed in again, a predatory smile on their face. “What she’s not admitting is that she thinks it’s hot.”
Persephone blushed a deep red and hid her face in her food. She seemed to lean towards Riga almost automatically, and Luna felt an unexplained moment of envy.

“It kind of is, though?” Diana stepped to her defense. “Like something about it…” She started to move a hand toward’s Becca’s neck, then seemed to catch herself and stop. “Something about it just feels sort of compelling?”

Luna tried to make sure her voice was in the right register. Big groups still made her nervous, and she didn’t want these people to stop treating her like one of them.

“It seems like they care about us at least? They seemed… well… really nice about my stuff, you know?” She kicked herself a little for the hesitation.

“Yeah, at least they’re not transphobic.” Claire’s voice betrayed her continued frustration. “But they’re definitely bullies. They were super mean.”

Diana and Arie sort of glared at her, still annoyed by Claire’s earlier disobedience, but Riga nodded her head. “You definitely got it worse than the others, I am not sure why.”

The acknowledgement seemed to mollify Claire a little, and the conversation quickly moved to the sorts of things Luna expected a group of mostly freshman would normally talk about.

They established that Luna and Diana were both studying computer science, though Claire’s cognitive science and industrial engineering dual major was a similar set of coursework. Arie was studying economics, Riga environmental science, and Persephone and Becca were studying Mechanical and Civil engineering.

To Luna’s relief, Riga was also a sophomore, though none of the others were.
The tension around their new roles quickly dissipated into typical college dinner conversation. By the time they walked back Luna felt at least a little bit more settled. No one in the cohort had been outwardly mean to her, and that made her feel safe-ish for now.

They all cleared their dishes, though Persephone had thought to take Diana’s for her, and left the cafeteria with plenty of time to get back to Northside. As they walked, Luna wondered what would happen when they got back, and remembered something.

She stopped walking. “Guys, wasn’t that mindless girl at the entrance also a servant?”

Everyone stopped to look at her. She immediately wanted to curl in on herself. She shouldn’t have said anything.

Claire immediately scowled. Becca radiated anxiety. Arie and Riga both looked unsurprised–Arie carried the expression as a sort of ‘duh’, while Riga’s face showed more patience for the rest of the group. Persephone looked to Diana, and Diana reached a hand toward’s Becca’s shoulder.

“Ummm, you don’t think that will happen to us?” Becca asked quietly.

“Neha and the girls on the walls were also servants,” Persephone said. “Clearly there’s some range, right?”

Diana pulled her into a sideways hug. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. They promised to take care of us.”

There really wasn’t much more to say. They kept walking.

It was dark when they reached the house on Northside, just before the 8pm deadline. Luna sighed inwardly–she still had homework to work on after this, and she couldn’t imagine they wouldn’t schedule something for Sunday as well.

Miriam and Neha were waiting for them as they entered the front door. Miriam lounged sideways on a plush armchair, while Neha stood next to her with her clipboard. This time only two of the silent collared servants stood against the wall. Luna paid more attention to them now. For all she knew she would be like them soon.

Their uniforms had looked the same at first glance, but when she looked now she saw that they each had some personal touches. They both wore button-down shirts that gave them a butler vibe, and they each wore a short cropped jacket over it. The jackets were individualized, though, each cut to flatter their figure. They both wore black pants, but the one closer to the door had hers fitted more at the waist, while the one near the kitchen had hers riding lower. One was wearing a charm bracelet with a little lock on it. The other had a small scabbed over cut on her left cheek.

Their little group finished shuffling in, and Luna realized she wasn’t sure what to do next. The future minders had all sat down on the couches. The rest stood awkwardly for a moment. Even Claire seemed to have lost her former bravery. Persephone rolled her eyes.

“Miss Miriam,” she spoke, “may we sit on the couches?”

Miriam glanced up from her phone. “Watch your tone, but good girl for asking. You may sit on the couch, the rest of you may not.”

Claire looked like she was about to say something, but Miriam raised an eyebrow. The troublemaker backed down, and sat on the floor by the armrest closest to the door. Luna picked the same couch she’d sat on earlier, and sat in front of her old spot.

Luna tried to analyze her own feelings. Sitting on the floor made it all so much more real. She’d kind of automatically gone along with things. It still felt mostly comfortable? Something about it was natural and she wasn’t sure if it was just the authority that Miriam exuded. Maybe it was because Miriam seemed to like her, and clearly didn’t see her as something weird or spectacular or ‘so brave.’ Following along was just an easy default.

Or maybe Diana was right and it was just kind of hot.

Miriam waited until 8pm exactly to begin things again.

She righted herself in a single fluid motion, then tapped her crop on the coffee table. “Alright everyone, it’s quiz time.”

There was a collective groan. Luna’s anxiety spiked a fraction.

Miriam looked around the group, total seriousness on her face. “So, which one of you had the most physically violent parents?”

Luna saw her shock at the question mirrored in everyone else in the room. Becca actually gasped. Miriam ignored it.

“Hmmm, no takers?” she went on, “alright, who had the most physically violent community?”

Everyone was still staring at each other. This was not ‘childhood hobbies’. Luna looked at Arie and saw that she, and maybe Riga, were the only ones not horrified. If anything Riga was even smiling. Arie looked hungry and defiant.

“Still no takers?” Miriam continued, “What about: Who among you was the most emotionally neglected?”

Luna shivered, this was starting to hit a bit close to home. Her parents hadn’t exactly beaten her, but they definitely didn’t approve of her at all. She was studying engineering, but having trans kids was something that happened to other families–it was barely even a concept her parents understood, much less one that they could accept. She was a source of shame, and even while keeping it a secret, knowing that had made for a difficult childhood.

Miriam finally paused. When she continued, it was quieter, calmer, but still deathly serious. “These are the things you need to understand about each other to succeed in Delta Sigma. Either as minders or as servants.”

Miriam waited, but no one made a peep. When it became clear no one would say anything, the pledgemaster dragged her crop across the table.

“Without understanding them, about others and about yourself,” Miriam continued, “you will hurt, harm, and even potentially traumatize the people around you. Your unwillingness to wade through the social awkwardness and get to know each other deeply today has now made this more likely.”

The silence in the room felt almost oppressive, and Luna felt paralyzed in her spot. Not even Arie or Riga were smiling now.

Miriam relaxed just an inch. “I understand that you all will struggle with this vulnerability for now. But by the end of this semester I expect you to learn it. Both with each other and with your older siblings.”

Suddenly her whole demeanor changed, brightened, and she clapped her hands twice. “Alright! It’s time for your first history lesson. We’re going to go out into the yard, and Allyson will tell you a little about where we come from. We expect you all to memorize it.”

Luna looked around and saw she wasn’t the only one suffering from emotional whiplash.

The group got herded like little class-segregated ducklings onto a wooden deck in the backyard, where there were three simple chairs set up for the potential/future minders and four pillows laid out in front of them for the servants. There was a brief awkward moment as everyone had to implicitly choose seating preferences. In the end the minders chose chairs first and everyone else vaguely sat in front of people they felt comfortable with. Or at least, Luna sat in front of Diana and next to Persephone because Diana had seemed very safe at lunch, and Persephone seemed kind as well. Becca ended up pulling her pillow to share Riga with Persephone, leaving Claire with Arie.

As usual, Claire seemed to be the least comfortable, and Luna briefly racked her brain for anything she could do about it. But she was on the other side of the seating assignment. She considered giving her a hug later, but who would want that from her disgusting testosterone mutilated body? Better to hold back and not risk violating someone’s personal space.

Instead she turned to watch the presentation. Someone had set up a projector screen on the other side of the deck. The entire wooden deck was decorated with fairy lights, giving the occasion a warm, relaxed atmosphere. The coastal air was a little bit chilly, but the skies were clear and she could make out a gorgeous full moon. Someone had set up one of those restaurant space heaters above them, but it was off so far. A pile of blankets sat nearby, and Luna grabbed one and wrapped it around herself.

Allyson turned out to be the servant who had put her hands on Claire’s shoulder during the introductory questions, the one without the cut. Now that Luna properly paid attention to her, she was tall and muscular with a small tattoo under her left ear. She carried herself with the same grace as as all the other collar-wearing-servants, and Luna still found it impressive.

Despite being a servant, Allyson stood at the front of the group with confidence and poise, and when she started presenting, she dominated the area almost as Miriam did .

The servant clicked forward the powerpoint. “Delta Sigma started in 1906 at this very university, originally as a solidarity organization for women involved in the suffrage movement. We started small, with just six members, but by the time women got the right to vote in 1920, we were at 30 sisters”

She clicked to the next slide.

“In the 1910s, during the First World War, Delta Sigma participated in a campaign to…”

As Allyson droned on about the utterly typical history of Delta Sigma as a sorority, Luna started to get a bit sore. Sitting cross-legged on a pillow with a straight back was actually rather exhausting, especially with no support on her back. She tried to stretch without being noticed, then continued listening.

“…and then in 1974 we acquired this house on the north side of campus as a retreat and event space. The main house was renovated a decade later to bring things up to more modern earthquake standards, though an additional renovation happened in 2005…”

A few minutes of relatively mundane history later and Luna suddenly felt pressure on her back and flinched forward. She’d leaned back without noticing. She turned and gave Diana an apologetic look, then tried to pay attention to the presentation.

“…formally accepted trans and non-binary members in 2005, though there’s records of them existing long before then–“

Luna realized she was leaning back again, turned to apologize, only for Diana to place a gentle hand on her shoulder and guide her back against her leg.

It was so small. Such a tiny gesture of acceptance, but what it meant–that Diana felt safe with her, that she wasn’t rejected, that she might belong–it was almost too much.

Luna managed to keep herself to some watery eyes and a few silent tears as Allyson droned on.

The rest of the presentation was interesting, but nothing particularly noteworthy. It made Delta Sigma sound incredibly normal, and given that just her first day here had been anything but, that felt a little strange. Luna didn’t care–they could lie about their history all they wanted. She was leaning against Diana, and something felt so deeply right about that she almost couldn’t process it.

When it was over they had a chance to ask questions. Initially no one raised a hand, and Luna half expected Miriam to be angry, but their pledge master just watched with interest. Finally, it was Arie’s hand that went up.

“Not related to the presentation, but who were the other servants here with us today?” they asked. “I’d like to remember names.”

Arie’s other hand was in Claire’s long brown waves, gently brushing it and scratching at her neck. Luna felt relief that Claire seemed to have settled down and found some comfort. She also felt a moment of envy at their easy intimacy. She was leaning against Diana herself, yes, but it still felt so awkward–she was certain Diana was just tolerating her. The ease with which Claire leant into the touch, the way she just seemed to belong between Arie’s scalp was incomparable.

Allyson seemed momentarily surprised by the question, but then smiled and answered it. “The woman who left after introductions was named Elya, and the one who’s standing at the wall of the house over there”–she pointed next to the stairs they’d come down from, and the servant there gave a small wave–“is named Isabelle.”

Arie nodded. “Thank you.”

Miriam clapped twice, pulling all eyes on her. Luna once again felt the pull as Miriam effortlessly took up all the space in the room. “Alright! You’ll get a digital copy of the presentation today. I expect you all to memorize it. You’ll be responsible for knowing it by Tuesday.”

Miriam walked back to the front, and Allyson sank to her knees.

“We have one last thing to cover today. As you might have noticed, things at Delta Sigma run a little bit differently than at most houses on sorority row.

“We give and receive more intensely. You’re going to experience some things here that will seem intense, or even cruel. In some cases they will happen to you or another new member. In other cases, especially as you meet more of our family, they’ll be happening to your older siblings. Particularly for those of you wearing the white collars: our rules here are enforced, and enforced strictly. Try to avoid earning a punishment in your first week.”

Luna felt herself shiver at that, and by some instinct pushed herself closer against Diana. She even forgot her insecurities for a moment as Diana, seemingly on a similar instinct, began to gently pet her hair.

“Understand that we generally know what we’re doing,” Miriam continued, “All of us are here because this life, in all its intimacy and harshness, suits us. You’re here because we think it will suit you too. We are rarely wrong.”

She didn’t know about harshness, but Luna wanted that intimacy so badly. The energy between Miriam and Neha, what she saw now as Allyson knelt contentedly next to Miriam, she wanted it all.

Miriam did that tone shift again, as she somehow instantly switched to a kind of gentle warmth. “Congratulations on making it through the first day.. You’ll also all get an invitation to the initiates group chat. I expect everyone, potential minders included, to turn on their location sharing. I don’t particularly care if I see you visiting a brothel–assuming you can find the time and that it’s approved in your weekly schedule–but I am responsible for your safety, and this will help us ensure it.”

She very visibly ran through some sort of mental list, then smiled. “Alright, that’s all for tonight. Text the group when you’re back in your dorms, or just turn on location sharing before you get there.”

Luna was almost sad to go, but the walk home was easy in the afterglow of everything that had happened. According to a text message from Neha she had an appointment with Miriam the next day, and her calendar for the next week would be packed with Delta Sigma related activities. So, instead of letting herself worry, she joined the group chat, turned on her location sharing, and basked in the afterglow as she drifted off to sleep with her collection of plushies.