[Week 1.0]

Miriam went back to the center. The hand on Claire’s shoulder gave her one last squeeze, then disappeared.

“Alright everyone!” Miriam continued the introductions, “Now that we know a little more about each other, it’s time for the consent conversation.”

Neha handed Miriam a notecard, which their ringleader regularly glanced at.

“First, some basics.  Should you agree to join, from here on I and the other senior members will control every little detail of your lives. You so much as want to masturbate, you get our permission first.”

Claire glanced around the room. No one was moving a muscle. It sounded… kind of like one of those crazy movie sororities? She tried to imagine Miriam with straight blond hair, telling her she could only have sex with dudes from Alpha Beta Kappa.

This wasn’t too far out from what she had signed up for?

“There will be physical aspects to this. None of them will be outside of the hazing you might expect at another institution on this campus.” Yeah, exactly! “There will be mental aspects to this. They will be unlike anything you would experience anywhere else. We think you will be compatible with these, and our track record on being right about that is pretty good. But It’s a lot.” Miriam paused and looked around the room. “There are other aspects to this, which I won’t be able to reveal until you’re further along the process. They will significantly impact your life.”

Claire looked around as Miriam continued. Every other eye in the room was on the pledge master, except for the silent sisters. They were watching the new members. One made eye contact with Claire, and she quickly turned her focus back to Miriam.

“We will expect your vulnerability, your obedience. We will change you, though into something you will be proud of.” She put down the note card. “We will take care of you.”

Claire felt that feeling in her stomach again, the same one she’d felt when Persephone had introduced herself. The anxiety came with it.

Miriam’s tone softened a little. “Know that this will be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. It will change you. But we’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Suddenly she left the assembly of couches, and headed to a desk off to the side of the room. She very visibly took out her cellphone. 

“Now, we’re waiting for a delivery before we continue this. You have about 15 minutes. If you don’t want to continue, feel free to get up and leave. Otherwise, get to know each other–there will be a quiz later.” She looked down at her phone, apparently losing interest in the new members entirely.

There was a moment of silence as the new members stared at each other. Claire swore she could have heard a pin drop. Then, silently, Jenny got up, reached for her purse, put on her jacket, and left.

Should Claire follow her? This was her chance to join a sorority. Her chance to leave the past behind and become somebody new.

They seemed kind of intense, but they promised to make somebody new out of her.

Should she? Could she? It scared her–she shouldn’t let someone have this much power over her. But the alternative was failure. Could she?

She should go, it wasn’t safe, there’d–another hand on her shoulder pulled her back into the present.

Arie was looking down at her. “So, what do you think so far?” They asked.

The rest of the world seemed to fade away a little. They were radiating that confidence again. Claire managed to tear her eyes away and glance around. “It’s, umm,” Claire whispered, “it’s a lot?”

Arie stayed nonchalant. “Yeah, you got bullied pretty hard. It was kind of cute.” 

Claire blushed again. “Actually, I was thinking of…” Arie was looking at her with that smile again. This was her chance wasn’t it? She would not let fear ruin this. She would be strong. She would overcome.

Diana, Becca, and Riga had formed a group, and Luna and Persephone had turned towards each. No one else was leaving. She wouldn’t be so weak. 

Not in front of the rodent killer with the charming smile.

Might as well go straight for the elephant then. “Yeah… you admitted to the squirrel thing though. What was that all about?” she asked.

Arie shrugged. “It seemed like the kind of thing they wanted to know. Show they couldn’t cow me and stuff. It was dying anyway, and I exaggerated for Miriam. It’s no big deal.”

Claire felt confused for a moment, but the answer made enough sense.

She decided to change the subject. “So, ummm, what brings you here?”

Arie smiled that confident smirk again. “I wanted to join a sorority, and Delta Sigma has this reputation for being crazy intense and exclusive and weird.”

Well, here was someone who was clearly better informed than Lisa about what Delta Sigma would be like. She glanced at the door, maybe she should st– she pushed the feeling back into its box.

Arie politely didn’t say anything, although their eyes had flickered with her glance. Claire needed something new to say. “Huh, so this was your first choice?” she asked.

“There’s only seven of us, Claire! Most of the other houses are twenty or more,” Arie pointed out, “this is definitely special.”

They seemed so relaxed and confident. It spread to Claire as well, and she leaned back for the first time since arriving at the house on Northside. The couch was soft at her back, the world wasn’t that scary.

“I guess, if this isn’t even the main house that’s also kind of cool,” she said, “I definitely imagined doing something more normal though.”

“Normal is for normal people. Look, I did the whole popularity thing in high school, and it’s great, I loved the admiration, but it’s also a little boring after a while.” They leaned in close. “Plus you should see the Delta Sig alumni network, it’s unbelievable.”

Claire laughed for the first time since getting her invitation. “What do you think they’ll quiz us about?”

Arie looked thoughtful. “We should start with biography? If they ask us about intimate secrets or random facts there’s really too much ground to cover in 20 minutes.”

Claire considered for a moment. It seemed like a good approach. Safe. Arie looked at her silently with that intense gaze. It only took a second before she caved and talked first.

“Alright, well, my name is Claire, and I’m a freshman from the outer Bay Area studying cognitive science. I, uhh, like fantasy stories and kpop. I have a younger sibling who I’ve spent a lot of time taking care of, and a dad who’s currently getting treatment for cancer. I, uhh, well Miriam already talked about what I did in high school.” She felt the old shame well up inside and looked anywhere but Arie.

Arie smiled that smile again and it eased the pain a little. “Lets see, I ran a homelessness activism organization in Massachusetts in high school, was class president and did some other things in student government. In my free time, I like poetry and non fiction books, and sometimes I play the piano. Though we’ll see how I can continue that here.”

They looked over Claire’s head. “Lets get the others into this.”

Persephone and Luna turned around, and Arie somehow brought them into the circle with just their presence. Claire felt a pang of envy. She needed to learn to be a central figure herself.

Persephone waved first. “Hey, y’all already know my name, I’m studying mechanical engineering. I’m from the Seattle area.”

Luna glanced around, got the same look from Arie. “I’m Luna, I’m studying computer science, and I’m from Mountain View in the South Bay.”

The established pair spent a moment repeating their self-descriptions, before they collectively went back to strategizing.

Persephone ideated first. “I think it could be childhood hobbies. I did a lot of skateboarding, for what it’s worth.”

“I built a bunch of websites,” Luna chimed in, “neopets and things like that.”

She turned to Arie. “Did you really torture that squirrel?”

Arie looked just a smidge annoyed. “It really wasn’t such a huge deal–it was old and I was curious.”

Their sharp tone sent Luna into a defensive curl. She wasn’t the tallest girl but in that moment she looked positively small. Claire almost curled up in sympathy, but she needed to keep the peace. “Neha said herself, it’s pretty common…” she tried.

“I don’t thin–“ Luna started, but got cut off by a touch from Persephone.

“Lets talk about other things,” Perse redirected the conversation. “We need to get childhood hobbies from the others, and see what they came up with. I don’t think this is the sort of quiz we want to fail.”

Diana, Becca, and Riga ended up being into hiking, crochet, and sports respectively. “Unsurprising” as Arie described it.

They didn’t get much further before the doorbell rang and one of the silent servants collected Miriam’s package.

Miriam strode back to the center of the room and opened it on the coffee table. The box was filled with nearly identical cuffs and chokers. They looked like the ones that everyone in Delta Sigma seemed to wear, but white instead of black. Just like the ones existing members wear, these were incredibly thin, made of something that looked like leather. The cuff could be mistaken for a bracer-type fashion accessory, and the choker was, well, a choker.

“Alright everyone, I’m going to give you each one of these. They mean slightly different things. As you’ve probably noticed there’s two types of members of Delta Sigma. Some of us are ‘minders’, the rest are ‘servants’. You’ll learn more about the implications of that today and throughout the semester.”

Miriam picked up the box as she continued. “If you get a cuff, you’re a minder. If you get a collar, you’re a servant. This can change with time, if you grow, or change, or if I am wrong. But you won’t grow or change in one semester, and I am not wrong.” The pledge master gave everyone a penetrating look. “So accept it and make your peace with it. There’s really nothing wrong with either.”

Claire took a breath as she understood. They weren’t chokers. They were collars. The girls standing at the walls were some kind of slave. She felt herself panic a little even as something in her chest tangled up.

Miriam gave the box to Neha–who was apparently a slave, forced to be a near-silent admin assistant by the collar around her throat–and walked to the end of the room, opposite of Claire.

She rummaged in the box, and came out with a white cuff. She opened it and began placing it on Diana’s left wrist.

“Potential servants will address me and any other minder with respect. Either miss or ma’am or mx are acceptable, though some minders, particularly the non-binary ones, will ask you to use something else. You will remember, or be punished. You should assume miss or mx for for any servants with black chokers as well, though most will permit you to drop the formality or use something else entirely. “

Diana complete, Miriam, with Neha at her side, walked one step down to Becca. She rummaged briefly, coming out with a choker.

“Neha here, for example, will ‘miss’ everyone in the house except the pets, and that will include al–“ she glanced at Neha for a second, getting some kind of subtle confirmation, “–most of you.”

Becca didn’t even look up. She just took a deep breath, pulled her hair out of the way, and allowed Miriam to place the choker on her.

Miriam and Neha took a step over, continuing the ritual.

“Potential servants will listen to the commands and instructions of anyone not a potential servant themselves. They will ask permission before sitting on furniture. When eating with members above their rank, they will serve them, by getting them food and waiting to eat until they’ve started. Potential servants will not eat dessert with their meals. And yes, this includes sugary non-juice drinks.”

Riga smiled, relaxed and confident, as she got a cuff. Of course.

“They will submit a calendar for their weekly schedule, and get modifications and approval, generally from Neha but eventually from others. Potential minders will submit calendars as well, and will discuss their schedules with me.”

They halted again in front of Persephone, who froze like a deer staring into headlights. She looked scared, but there was an undercurrent of nervous excitement. Miriam started rummaging in the crate, picked something up, then glanced at Persephone again and changed her mind.

When her hand came out, it revealed a white choker-collar.

The future servant gave a resigned nod and leant forward. The tension left her body as Miriam wrapped the collar around her.

Claire wondered briefly what she wanted. She couldn’t possibly wear a collar like that, could she? She’d worked too hard to be strong. And she WAS strong, her life had demonstrated that. She’d get a cuff for sure.

“Understand that my wording here has been very deliberate. People in Delta Sigma communicate very carefully, both explicitly and in subtext, and it is crucial for your success that you learn this as fast as possible. Those of you with the right childhood trauma might find this easier than others.”

She walked up to Luna. Luna just smiled, briefly making eye contact before looking down and stretching her neck. Miriam gave her a slight brush through her hair, then reached into the box and grabbed a cho–collar. She placed it gently, almost reverently around the freshman’s neck. She made it somehow look easy, graceful, loving, and Claire’s anxiety reached its peak.

“All potential members, regardless of status, are expected to follow the instructions of full members in an emergency. All will meet with me and Neha each once a week. All will work on their deportment and the general norms and behaviors we expect from members. We strongly encourage each of you to get a therapist.”

Claire looked at Miriam, fear quickly replaced by determination. She gave Miriam her left hand. Miriam just frowned. She turned for a moment, making eye contact with Neha. Neha blinked once, but gave no other visible sign of communication. But Miriam seemed to see something anyway because her expression hardened. She reached into the box…

…and pulled out a white collar. Claire’s heart raced, but she was too paralyzed to do anything. She was in a daze as Miriam ever so gently brushed her hair out of the way, placed her other hand on the cheek and held her in place. Claire felt herself drift into the touch, even as the other hand left and grabbed the collar. It felt heavy as Miriam placed it around her neck. It felt constricting as Miriam let go of her hair and tightened it. It felt final as the buckle closed.

A second and an eternity later Miriam took a step back and walked over to Arie. Claire’s wrist was still extended in unfulfilled expectation, and the embarrassment was almost overwhelming.

As if to rub it in Arie did the same thing, placed her wrist out just as Claire had. And instead of grabbing a collar Miriam just shook her head, grabbed a cuff, and closed it. 

Arie grinned, and Claire felt her shame rise over her with the force of an incoming tide.

But what the fuck was she to do? She froze.

Miriam spoke again. “There’s more, but you’ll find it out during your individual sessions with me or during group lessons. For now expect to spend most afternoons each week here. Like I said, time away, time doing homework, time spent eating and sleeping, all of those will require permission from now on.”

Claire barely internalized the words. She still couldn’t move.

“You’ll get more wiggle room as a potential minder,” Miriam continued, “but know that I’m still required to teach you, and I will not be prevented from doing that.”

Claire gingerly touched the collar around her neck with her right hand. It felt so tight, oppressive. This was supposed to be her four years to grow into herself, and grow into the kind of shining success she admired. Now she’d been collared, basically a slave. How could she have fallen so low?

“Alright everyone, you’re free to get dinner together, then we’ll continue our evening!”

No, she was strong, she’d push through. Claire got up. She would rise above.