[Week 4.0]

Luna arrived at the house on Northside and took off her shoes. She glanced at the other pairs, and realized she’d begun to recognize them. Today she was the last to arrive.

In the living room, Claire was cuddled up against Arie, though her legs were tangled with Persephone’s, who who was leaning against Diana in a similar position. Becca was in kneeling position on the floor between them, enjoying gentle petting from both of them. Riga sat some distance away.

It was an adorable scene, if not for the way Claire looked like she might bolt at any second.

Still, arguably an improvement from where she’d been just a few days ago, hiding in corners and trying to eat lunch on her own.

She was about to copy Riga on the other open couch when Diana gave her a look. Luna smiled sheepishly in response, and walked to Diana’s couch. At first she tried mirroring Persephone and Claire by leaning against the outside of Diana’s shoulder. It would have put her at the end of the couch, facing away from the group. Instead the dominant manhandled her a little until she had Luna’s body turned towards her, with Luna’s head resting on Diana’s collarbone. The minder’s arm held her securely in place. Without looking, Persephone put her hand back, into Diana’s lap, and grabbed Luna’s.

It was… It was easily the single best thing she’d ever experienced. Itt was also the most human touch she’d had at any point since elementary school. She tried to suppress the sobs as they bubbled up, but Diana must have felt her body quake. The minder just gripped her tighter.

“It’s alright,” Diana whispered, “Miriam warned me this might happen. You’re safe, and you’re allowed to cry.”

Luna felt as Persephone’s hand snaked over and gripped hers, and she let herself weep a little. She wasn’t even sure why she was crying–she was happy. Possibly happier than she’d ever been.

Heck, two years ago, something like this was a distant dream.

Neither Diana nor Persephone said anything. She dug further into Diana’s shoulder, trying to express her gratitude. Talking would have made it harder.

She let the warmth of their touch sooth her, and gradually the tears stopped. She felt… whole, calm, centered. She hadn’t cried much before the hormones, and just being able to feel intensely was such a gift. But here, feeling the way her body fit together with her friends–her sisters–it felt even more transcendental.

Miriam arrived two minutes later, and spent a moment talking to an already-waiting Neha. Luna glanced at the wall clock and realized that, for the first time this year, Miriam was starting them ten minutes been late.

By now, Miriam’s mere presence commanded them to attention, so when she spoke, everybody was already listening.

“Alright everyone, you know parents weekend is coming up. Rest assured, we’re going to make sure you all have time to spend with your parents.” She gave them all the Cheshire Cat grin again, and Luna realized through Persephone’s palm that her fellow servant was tensing up, just as she was.

“In fact, we’ll be hosting a tea party at the Delta Sigma house where all of your parents will be invited! We want them to see them how well you all are getting along and integrating with your new sorority.”

Miriam switched her posture to one of performative innocence. It looked even creepier. “So, what would be a more sorority thing to do, than having a big tea party to show how lovely and girly and wholesome our sisterhood is together?” Luna flinched as streamers popped across the table from opposite sides. Neha had been holding it the whole time, and even as she popped it her face remained an impassive mask.

When the confetti hit the table, Miriam’s expression was more somber again.

“Naturally this will also be an exercise for you all. The future servants will be the primary servers for this event, though you’ll also have the assistance of two more servants from the main house. The non-servants in the group will be entirely responsible for organization and training.” She glanced at Arie, Riga, and Diana in turn. “They’ve already been briefed on what is expected. They’ve been shown poses, rules for coming up with the event layout, and basic tips on putting something like this together.

“The rest, is up to them, and up to you”

Luna internalized what that meant for a moment. They wouldn’t be taught by Miriam. They would need to be taught by, collectively, Arie, Diana, and Riga.

It was an intimidating prospect. It looked like the idea had settled in for the minders though, since Arie was projecting their usual easy confidence, Riga looked completely relaxed about it, and when she tilted her head up she saw Diana radiating determination.

Luna surveyed the subs, and realized this would probably put the most pressure on Claire, who was no longer relaxing against Arie. She must have realized this avoidance tactic wouldn’t be permitted forever? Luna couldn’t quite understand what Miriam and Neha and team were doing with her, but it seemed like they were deliberately closing the net slowly.

She could only trust that what came out on the other side would still be healthy, and still Claire.

Everyone got up to gather around one of the tables. Luna turned back to grab a jacket, and for just a moment saw Miriam, half turned away, flashing Isabelle a cunning, satisfied smile, while the senior servant bowed her head into Miriam’s hand.

Luna shuddered.

A gesture the senior minder caught. Miriam languidly turned her full body towards Luna, and the servant suddenly found herself unable to look away. The pledge master slowly let the mask fall off her face again, and what Luna witnessed underneath paralyzed her. Control, intensity, dominance. A creature that knew how to take, and would not settle for anything less than anything.

Luna barely kept from falling to her knees in supplication. Miriam didn’t say anything. She signed at her in sign language instead, keeping the moment private.

This is just a small part of what you’ll all become.

With that Miriam’s face changed again, and the joyfully intense pledge master reappeared. Luna found her footing again. The whole interaction had taken barely a few second.

Luna shook herself for a moment, then joined the rest of the group at the big round table kitchen.

Diana began briefing them.

“Alright, we have one week to prepare for this. Miriam taught us four positions you need to know. The first we’ll call ‘vanilla attention,’ which is–just imagine a server at a restaurant. One for pouring tea, one for carrying things. And finally a choice between a curtsy or a bow for respectfully greeting the senior members.

“We’re going to cover two on today and two on Tuesday. We have to actually plan the event itself–we have a catering budget and there’s a closet in the back of the main house full of supplies.”

“Does that mean we get to see the main house?!” Persephone couldn’t suppress the question.

“Perse, we’ve talked about interruptions and about tone.” Diana’s tone had switched to something solid, unyielding. “You’ll get five from my hand before you leave tonight.”

“Yes miss,” Persephone said. Claire suddenly looked uncomfortable, anxious, but Persephone herself just sank further into her seat, eyes half lidded, seeming so at peace. Becca’s expression held that same hint of longing that Luna herself felt, and Riga and Arie both looked completely unfazed.

Diana carried on like nothing had happened. “It’s actually just the yard and the back kitchen. But! We’ll meet more of the sorority. A bunch of the senior members will be attending, plus the two who will be practicing with us.”

Diana gave them all an encourage smile.

“Riga volunteered to take charge of logistics, so Arie and I will focus on training you all up to par. Any questions?”

They made their way to the ballet room, where Diana and Arie could run them through positions. Diana grabbed a stack of restaurant waiter towels that had been left there for them.

“Alright everybody,” Diana began, “Arie will demonstrate the waiting position first. Your uniforms will include a towel, so each of you will get one to practice with. Please don’t mess up the way they’re folded. We’ll teach you how to refold them later.”

Arie moved their towel to their right hand, then moved into an upright position that would have made them fit in perfectly at any nice restaurant. Their back was straight, their left arm placed in the hollow of their back.

Feet stood together, and Luna tried to copy the position.

To Luna’s surprise, it was Arie who took charge of correcting them.

“Make sure you have your thumbs pointed upwards.” Arie paced down the line while Diana tried to help Becca. “You want your hand in a loose grip; look relaxed.”

“Arie,” Diana interrupted, “could you show the back arm for Becca again?”

Luna tried to find a comfortable position for her hand while Arie was busy. It became harder the more she overthought it.

She hadn’t figured it out by the time Arie approached her. Confident, firm hands surrounded her palm and lightly moved her fingers into position. Arie didn’t smile, but Luna felt her approval anyway.

“Like this,” Arie said.

“Thank you, mx,” Luna whispered under her breath.

Arie acknowledge it with a nod.

“Your left arm is sticking out too far as well.” A firm hand pushed her elbow further in, seating the arm just at the edge of Luna’s range of motion.

“Hmmm.” Arie made a thoughtful noise. “You’re going to stretch for me—every night this week. I’ll send you instructions via text.”

Luna shivered. “Yes mx.” She hadn’t felt this from Arie before. It made sense–that confidence and self assuredness they always radiated, aimed at her? It was dominance in the flesh. The desire to kneel was becoming a constant companion.

She was beginning to see what Miriam meant with “they’ll all become like her.” She couldn’t imagine the maelstrom of feelings people like Isabelle lived under, surrounded by and managed by people like this all the time.

With Arie at the wheel they quickly improved. It didn’t seem like it was enough for the minder.

“Again.” They stood over Becca, glaring.

“Yes mx,” she whispered. Becca attempted the wait position again, but shrank—out of position—under Arie’s gaze.

“Tsk—” Arie rolled their eyes. Becca quaked under them. “Look you—”

Diana was suddenly next to them, with a hand on their arm. “Why don’t we move on to some of the other skills? They’ll have plenty of time to practice this week.”

Riga stopped by with a set of trays and plastic tea cups. The trays were small enough that they could be carried with one hand. They’d eventually serve cakes and tea with the other.

It ended up being a lot harder than just standing at attention.

Luna had her usual body coordination issues. Becca struggled with the weight of the tray. Claire got the motions pretty fast, but kept not putting her heart into it.

And it was becoming increasingly obvious.

Persephone spent most of the tray lesson in a half-lidded trance, a state that Becca reached too, whenever she wasn’t anxious about her performance.

Even Luna found herself there, whenever Diana would reach around and move her body and put it in exactly the position she wanted.

At some point Arie had a word with Claire, and the servant became softer. It wasn’t quite the submission the rest of them were feeling, but it was an earnest willingness to be guided. Still an improvement over the approach-retract dynamic that Claire seemed to be playing out most of the time.

And then Luna realized she was dropping a cup from her tray, and maybe it was better to be focusing on herself.

When they’d drilled for almost an hour, Diana called a rest break. They spent a few minutes just breathing, and Arie and Diana decided to call it good enough for the group lesson.

They still had their individual sessions with Miriam later in the afternoon, so the group devolved into individual practice. Arie and Diana spent a good chunk of it trying to find a way for Becca to carry the tray a little more easily.

Luna eventually realized her head was full and she needed a moment to breathe. Diana had left for other duties, which meant she had to approach Arie.

“Miss, may I take a break?” She tried to put all the deference she could into the tone.

Arie gave her a smile–confident like Miriam’s, but less playful, more expectant. “You may, Luna.”

Luna sat down next to Persephone, leaving an appropriate 5 inches of space between them. Persephone gave Luna an exaggerated eye roll and closed the distance. “Habits die hard, huh?”

Luna blushed, but leant into the touch anyway. It wasn’t as emotionally overwhelming as it had been the first time, but the feeling of being touched still soothed something deep inside. Especially with the persistent vulnerability she now seemed to live under. Being held by Persephone wasn’t quite like being held by one of the minders, but it was pretty close, and it still soothed that part of her that felt needy for contact.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, until Arie gave them the hand sign for attention and they both rose to the position. Quickly, but not rushed. Firmly, but gracefully. Deliberately, but by instinct.

In that moment, she wasn’t a blocky trans girl with an unhealthy hatred for her own body. She was poetry in motion.

One that got at once struck by Arie’s cane. “You leant left on the way up, even support on both legs.”

Another swipe of the cane, this time the grunt from Persephone next to her.

“Too far forward, you’re trying to minimize the amount that you rock.”

Luna gave Perse a glance. The minders had not been slacking off during their own sessions.

“Good girls for the rest. That was pretty close.” Luna felt herself flush with warmth and saw the same glow in Persephone’s cheeks.

They kept working for a while until Riga poked her head in.

“Hey everyone, we’re going to have a planning meeting downstairs.”

When they came downstairs, Allyson was waiting for them, along with a new sister.

The girl wore what Luna had recently learned was called a skater dress. On her head she wore a Delta Sigma baseball cap. She had a long tattoo running from somewhere on her back to her wrist. The section around the shoulder circled her neck, giving the illusion of a second collar above the Delta Sigma one. Three, if you counted the dainty silver choker that she wore stacked with the typical black leather band. A bunch of bangles hung around her left wrist.

“Hey everyone, my name is Samie! I’m excited to work with you all.”

Diana responded for the group. “We’re happy to meet you as well.”

“We already talked to the minders about this,” Samie said, “but just to reiterate, yes we’ve gone through this ourselves, and no we’re not allowed to help you. We’re an extra pair of hands for you to rely on.”

Diana nodded at them, then turned back to the assembled new members. “It’s about time for a break anyway, so lets spend 15 to 20 minutes just hanging out and getting to know each other, and then we’ll discuss.”

Samie, just like Allyson, turned out to be Delta Sigma sophomores. The group asked the typical college freshman questions about classes, and the big sisters indulged them.

Surprisingly, it was Claire who turned the conversation to something more interesting.

“How do you feel about being a servant?” She looked like she didn’t like her wording. “Or I guess, how do you handle it?”

Samie brushed her hand over her neck tattoo, then fingered her chokers.

“I guess I’d say it’s not always easy, but it’s always fulfilling. It’s what’s right for me. It’s definitely hard sometimes, especially since my ownership is… complicated. But I get so much joy from navigating all of that, and even the hard bits, even the incredibly difficult, painful, unbearable bits–they all feel utterly correct.”

Claire made a pained expression. “I’m glad it works so well for you.”

Something flashed in Samie’s eyes.

“Miss,” she spoke to Diana, “may I take this one somewhere a little bit more private so we can talk about her feelings?”

Diana’s shoulders went back a little at being asked, and Luna could swear she saw something resembling frustration flash across Arie’s face as well.

“You may, Samie,” Diana said.

Samie gave Claire a pointed look, and the troubled submissive followed the more senior servant out of the circle.

Smile took Claire into the kitchen nook, which was far enough away for them to have a private conversation, but not so far that Luna couldn’t see what was going on. It felt like a pattern at this point. Minders or more senior servants would come in, meet the group, and then shower special attention on Claire to try and catch her up to the rest of them.

Maybe they should all just make her a minder themselves. It seemed like it would simplify a lot of things.

The conversation in the kitchen grew more animated, and Luna cringed as she saw frustration flash across Samie’s face.

Perse brought her back to the present. “Allyson, what do you do when you’re not dealing with the pledges?”

Allyson smiled. “I’m studying political science. I have some responsibilities at the main house as well. I’m also dating someone else in Delta Sigma.”

“Do people in Delta Sigma date a lot?” Luna asked. It wasn’t her first time hanging out with Allyson, but she hadn’t felt brave enough to ask before.

“Yes and sort of?” Allyson made a ‘maybe’ gesture with her hands. “A lot of what Delta Sigma is would be considered a romantic relationship by outsiders. But people also date more formally within that. Often those relationships take a kind of ownership context, at least when they’re between a minder and a servant.”

She made eye contact with everyone in the group individually. “I hope you’ll come to appreciate how in our organization there’s more room for nuanced and varied conceptions around commitments and relationships—individually and as a group. Understanding that is key to succeeding here.”

Diana nodded. “I can already see some of that myself—just in the different ways I relate to each servant or even each minder in our class.”

A pang of insecurity shot through Luna. How did Diana relate to her? Did she mean that she liked Luna less than other pledges, didn’t care for her as much?

A hand grounded her. Becca’s this time. The other person who wasn’t Perse, easy and confident and always the perfect sub.

“It seems like everyone has a different relationship with me, sometimes,” Becca said.

Allyson smiled. “Yes, you’ll probably end up a great example of that.”

Samie and Claire came back from their huddle in the kitchen, and they spent the rest of the day planning out and distributing responsibility for the logistics of Delta Sigma’s upcoming tea party.

——

Luna dreamt again.

This time she was in a brick house, running, looking for something, maybe being chased? She felt a sense of urgency, a fear of being hunted, a fear of being caught. But there was also determination, resolute in fulfilling a duty to a higher being.

She felt it run past door after door inside a brick building, sometimes looking in, sometimes continuing to run. The surroundings radiated hostility, and Luna knew the bricks could destroy her.

All around her were the lifeless bodies of her enemies, slumped over. They still shone a little, but it was less. Somehow Luna knew they were sleeping. She wouldn’t have long before they woke up.

There was something else too, something blue. Maybe two blue things? Both behind her, chasing maybe. Was that why she kept running?

Another blue thing, somewhere down below. She was drawn to it, like a moth to a flame or a lion to its prey.

She saw an arm, a flash of white, but before she the thing could find what it was looking for, Luna woke up.

She was in her dorm room again. The same posters on the walls, the clothes she’d left over her chair instead of putting away last night. She looked down, and for a second her hands shone iridescent violet in the midnight dark, but then she shook herself awake and everything was normal again.