Delta Sigma
IX. Being Pledges II
by TsukiNoNeko
When Claire came back downstairs, she felt rejuvenated. Her mood improved even more when she realized Arie was here this afternoon.
She grabbed her backpack and tried to walk gracefully over.
“May I sit?”
Arie smiled at her. “You may.”
Arie made it look so dignified, a gift instead of a burden, and somewhere deep inside a part of Claire preened.
She settled down 90 degrees from Arie. She could only see a chunk of the room that way, but it was enough to see Elya, watching them from the far wall. Claire could swear there was a twinkle in the servant’s gaze.
She decided not to think about it and took out her laptop. Her and Arie had both decided to take an elective class on startups and entrepreneurship, and they’d gotten special permission to continue taking it together from Miriam–the sorority already mandated the ASL elective, and taking both was a considerable course load increase. Luckily the homework wasn’t hard, and they got to do it together, so it was quickly becoming one of Claire’s highlights each week.
They lapsed into an easy silence, only interrupted by the occasional question about one of the essay prompts.
On the other side of the living room, Becca and Diana were curled up on one of the couches, with Becca reading a textbook while sitting almost but not quite in Diana’s lap. Diana had put up one of her legs to give Becca better access, and the smaller girl had taken advantage by by curling her back sideways into it. It honestly reminded Claire of either a very cuddly housecat or some kind of lapdog.
The only other person in the living room was Elya, currently taking the rotating duty of monitoring them and reporting back to Miriam or Neha. Luna, Jenny, and Persephone were at a lecture, while Riga was still finishing her own one on one session with Neha upstairs.
She had time for another hour of this, then she’d have to go to her mandatory gym session. Apparently everyone in Delta Sigma had a personal trainer, paid for by sorority funds, and then she’d have to do her carefully calendared evening routine before getting exactly 8 hours of sleep. Then, in the morning, she’d be right back here with Miriam.
She didn’t realize how tense she’d gotten again until Arie’s hand gently ran down her shoulder. The touch left a trail of warmth behind it, and her shoulders went back down. A quick yawn and then she got back to her work. Miriam was running them ragged, but she wouldn’t crack.
The sound of a scraping chair knocked Claire out of her work. Arie was crossing the room, aggression radiating off them. Adrenaline drenched Claire’s insides, and she scooted her chair half back herself. A quick mental check–no, she couldn’t think of why someone might be mad at her, but also had no idea what Arie was reacting to.
Arie took four huge strides across the room, ending up near the staircase, right in front of a newly arrived Riga.
Claire could see Arie’s anger from just the set of their shoulders. Riga’s face was a mask. Diana and Becca were both staring from the couch, Becca almost clinging to Diana for safety.
“What was that look?” Arie growled.
Riga held a kind of controlled calm. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“That LOOK you just gave Diana and Becca.” Arie was just barely not shouting.
Claire glanced at Elya, who was silently observing the situation. She’d taken a step closer, but she hadn’t said anything yet. So far no one had come down the stairs either.
Arie and Riga stared at each other for an unending silence, and for a second Claire thought Arie might actually take a swing. Before she could doubt herself she got up herself and put a hand on Arie’s shoulder. That seemed to calm down her friend, and cooled the tension just a tiny bit.
Riga still hadn’t moved. But she finally answered.
“I gave them no look.”
Arie visibly struggled to take a deep breath. “Don’t you dare do it again.”
They turned around, and everyone took it as their cue to disengage. No one had any doubt that Elya would report the incident, in detail, to Miriam and Neha.
She struggled to get back to work, but the incident ran through her head on some kind of jagged loop. Arie’s frustration drew her attention like a pinging red emergency light.
Eventually Neha came down the stairs and Elya flashed her a series of hand signs–Claire recognized at least some of them from her ASL elective. Nothing further happened, and Miriam’s assistant just went to one of the desks and started working through paperwork.
At one point she got up and carried a pair of notes to Diana. “Please hand this to Miss Miriam when you next see her, miss. You’re free to look at it, though it isn’t for you. Becca, I have one of your as well.”
Then she turned to Claire. “Your gym appointment is in 45 minutes, miss. Do you need any assistance before you go?”
Claire just shook her head. Opening up to Miriam today had been progress enough for her. She got back to work.
By the time she left for her personal training appointment, things had settled down again. Riga was working off in one corner, Diana and Becca had adjusted their position a few times–but still kept staying in contact. Arie’s leg covered Claire’s now, almost possessively.
She was almost sad to go, though the pleading stare she needed to give Arie before they’d remove their thigh from her lap made it all worth it.
The gym ended up being miserable. The personal trainer associated closely with Delta Sigma, which meant that she listened to the fitness goals and priorities given by Miriam, not whatever Claire had to say. And apparently to Miriam Claire needed to make a lot of improvements in her fitness. But it only lasted for an hour, and then she took a quick rinse in the gym’s showers and headed back to her dorm.
When she walked out of the rec center, Arie was waiting for her.
“Figured we might get bubble tea before we both do our evening journaling,” they said.
“You drink boba?” Claire asked the question even as she began following Arie.
“Diana introduced me to it last week.” Arie paused for a moment, gathering their thoughts. “How are you feeling about everything?”
“Rough,” Claire admitted, “I honestly don’t understand how everyone else can just… put up with that stuff.”
Arie stayed silent, so Claire continued.
“I don’t understand how people like Luna put up with it so easily. They just sort of… get pushed around? They’re just happy for the attention. And then they just sort of… roll over.” Claire flopped her arm around to try and make the point, but it didn’t feel like enough.
Arie still said nothing.
“It’s all just… bullshit,” she sighed, “what gives them the right to boss me around? I mean, I can see why people like Jacqueline or Miriam… But what gives other people my age and my year the right to do that? And how can they just… pick you guys?”
“Would you want to do that, though?” Arie asked.
Claire kicked a pebble. “Who wouldn’t want to be the boss of people?”
“Becca and Luna definitely don’t.” Arie took them around a corner. “Allyson and Neha seem pretty happy, Elya and Isabelle as well. Lots of people don’t like being in charge.”
Claire considered her feelings for a moment. The same confusion. Want. Whatever had happened during her office hours with Miriam.
“Some part of me definitely wants it? The submission, I mean. But it’s so large, and horrifying, and then some part of me just screams.”
Arie just nodded. “Yeah, I couldn’t either.”
“Well, you don’t have to.” She couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice. Claire held the door into UncommonTea open for Arie. The future minder walked in, took a look the menu.
“What have you tried here so far?” Claire asked.
“Just some the basic black milk tea. I liked it–was very sweet though.”
“Mmmm, do you like fruity things? Their mango passion fruit is really good. Otherwise if you’re feeling savory their high mountain oolong is good too. Both are pretty good with low sugar.”
Arie looked at the menu again. “Sure, then.” They ordered the oolong tea, and Claire got the mango passion fruit.
There was something intimidating about being alone with Arie, and Claire spent a moment fidgeting in silence. That didn’t seem to bother Arie, who just quietly waited for their boba.
Claire picked up both of their teas, then handed the oolong to Arie along with a straw. She dug around her insides a little bit to find the courage for what she wanted to ask next. “What happened with Riga earlier? That was a lot.”
Arie gave her a look, and Claire rushed to backtrack. “Not that you lost control or anything!”
“No, you’re right.” Arie smiled. “I almost lost my cool there.”
Claire held the door open again for them, and by unspoken agreement they meandered through the student district.
“I sort of dated this girl in high school,” Arie finally said, “it was a pretty conservative place–lots of old money. There were our families to deal with, of course, but the worst thing was always the looks.”
“We’d get them even if we weren’t doing anything,” Arie continued, “even just getting our books from the lockers. Just the suspicion was enough.”
The hurt was all over Arie’s face, and Claire wanted to make it go away. “And Riga was staring at Diana and Becca?”
“It was for just a second,” Arie admitted, “I swore I saw it, but I also can’t prove it. My instincts just screamed that something was happening and I needed to respond.”
“That’s hard,” was all Claire could figure out to say.
Arie took a sip of boba. “Yeah.”
“Riga doesn’t really seem like the type to do that, though?” It seemed almost too horrible to consider. “She’s usually so nice and thoughtful, plus she’s here!”
Arie said nothing, and Claire grew increasingly uncomfortable.
“But I guess you never know,” she said when the silenced became unbearable.
They walked in silence for another block. Then Arie restarted the conversation.
“Why do you think you can’t submit the way Luna and the rest can?”
The question cut Claire like a knife.
“I’m… I’m actually not sure.” Claire took a deep breath. “I talked to Miriam about it earlier. It doesn’t feel safe. I… I don’t know where that comes from.”
“I like it when you kneel.” Arie said. Claire blushed.
“I… Thank you?”
They turned around before reaching the bad part of town.
“I…” the servant struggled for the right words. “I don’t mind kneeling around you.”
“Oh?” Arie asked. Claire looked at the minder, and they were giving her that predatory smile again.
The word’s wouldn’t be contained. “Youmakemefeelsafe,” she muttered. Another blush.
They walked the next block in silence. Claire felt raw, exposed, and Arie looked so confident, a rock.
“What are your parents like?” Arie eventually asked.
“Mom was a stay at home mom, at least until my dad got sick. Hated having kids, but we were always fed, so she was fine as a parent. Dad was never home from work, until he got sick so he was always home from work. But the medicine or the depression or whatever meant if we ever tried to get him off the couch he’d get snippy. I ended up taking care of my sister a lot.
“It was fine though, they didn’t hit me or anything.”
Arie was quiet while they processed. They’d walked all the way to the western end of student district, and Claire let them lead her back towards the dorms.
“What was school like with all of that?”
Claire let out a bitter laugh. “I got bullied a lot. Kind of an outcast, except where I was just too smart to be left out. Joining a sorority was my attempt at being cool, but you can see how that’s going.”
“So you got bullied at school, and ignored at home?”
“I mean, it was my choice!” Claire rushed out. “I asked my mom for help a few times in middle school, and it made things worse. One time this dude fake asked me out to prom in front of all my friends, and when I told my mom she made me call him just in case he’d actually meant it.”
This time Arie didn’t wait for a response. “Claire, has anyone you relied on ever not let you down?”
Claire didn’t have a good answer for that, and then they reached their dorm.
Arie wordlessly pulled her into a hug. It only calmed her racing heart a little bit. “See you tomorrow. Good night.”
Claire wandered back into her room, then spent another hour lying awake, wondering.
“Luna, Jenny, and Persephone were at a lecture”
I think you meant Luna and Perse only because Jenny isn’t supposed to be part of the picture anymore.