User Friendly
Chapter 2
by TravisNSpud
Still breathing heavily, Andrew lay in Selena’s - or rather, S3’s - bed. The hypnotised robot was ramrod straight on the mattress beside him, arms at its sides, staring vacantly at the ceiling. They were both covered up now - he’d had it stand up long enough to pull the duvet aside, and then threw it over both of them as it lay back down, enclosing them both up to their shoulders.
“That... that was amazing,” he sighed. “Thank you...”
“You’re welcome, User:Andrew,” it replied, as tonelessly as ever.
He silently stared at its blank face for a few seconds. “So,” he said at last, “how do I, like... switch Selena back on?”
“To activate Program:Selena, use either of the two required command phrases - ‘S3, activate your personality’, or ‘S3, activate Program:Selena’.”
“Right. Kinda obvious, huh?” he chuckled. The robot deigned not to answer. “OK. Um, S3 - activate your personality.”
“Confirmed.”
For just a moment, it continued to lie there, static and inexpressive, its gaze fixed above. Then it blinked, swallowed, and turned its head to face him, blushing and smiling broadly. “Hiya, stud!” it - she - said, rolling onto her side and shuffling closer to him.
He returned her smile - and her blush - as he let her snuggle into his arms. “Hi...”
“Seems like you enjoyed having your own personal sex-bot,” she snickered.
“How much... um, how much do you remember...?”
“All of it,” she said matter-of-factly.
He inhaled sharply. “All of it?”
“Yeah.” She arched an eyebrow. “Why? Did you not want me to...?”
“No, no, that’s not - I mean - I just feel like I was kinda awkward,” he said feebly. “I didn’t really know what to do with myself... Sorry, I guess I was kinda boring. You gave me this incredible chance - you gave me yourself, in robot form, and let me do anything I want with you - and I immediately had sex with you. Like, within...” He turned his head to look behind him, at the bedside table where he’d previously noticed a digital clock. “Ah jeez, not even half an hour! We barely did anything... Quick, and uninspired.” He bit his lower lip, shamefaced. “And that probably extends to the actual sex, too. I mean, it’s not like I lasted long...”
“Hey.” She poked him hard in the chest, fixing him with a stern look. “Stop it. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I had a great time tonight!” Her expression softened slightly. “OK, so you didn’t come up with a million and one things to do with S3. That’s understandable! I kinda sprung this whole thing on you without any advance warning; it’s not exactly surprising that you couldn’t think of anything... inventive to do. I wasn’t expecting you to. And it’s also not unexpected that you came so fast - it was our first time! And I think any guy would have trouble lasting long if they were fucking a robot girl.” She smiled playfully, giving her hair a little flick. “In all due modesty.”
He grinned weakly. “So, you really weren’t disappointed?”
“No. I mean, S3 wasn’t capable of being disappointed at the time. And I’m not now.”
Andrew sighed with relief, encouraged by her response. He appreciated that she hadn’t tried to dismiss or contradict the things that worried him - she’d acknowledged that he had indeed been quick on the draw in more ways than one, and that he hadn’t come up with any ingenious ideas to make use of S3 - but she also wasn’t bothered about it. If she’d tried to pretend there hadn’t been any issues - that it had all been absolutely perfect, with no room for improvement - he’d have felt even more insecure. (He’d had some experience with that from a previous relationship, which had deteriorated very quickly.)
It was Selena who looked a little ashamed now. “I should apologise myself. For springing this on you. I mean, this is my lifestyle and my kink, and I kinda dragged you into it. Not that I noticed you protesting too much,” she noted wryly. “But still, I could’ve given you more time to process it, to be sure you’re comfortable with it... Maybe if I’d told you tonight, and we’d saved the actual - doing stuff with S3 until the next date... But I was just so excited to show you what I am, and to be used by you...”
He gave her a squeeze with the arm wrapped around her shoulders. “Hey, I’m glad you told me - and showed me. I wanna know these things, I wanna know all about you. Every part of you. I want to understand why you live like this, what is it that you love about it, how it feels for you...”
She smiled fondly at him. “Yeah, I don’t really know how to explain it... Even after all these years living as a robot, I can’t put into words exactly why I love it. There’s just something so hot about being, like, a ‘fake person’ - walking around, talking to people, having a personality, but actually being an artificial... thing. And then coming home and reverting to my true self - with no more thoughts or personality than... than a...” She seemed to be having trouble coming up with an apt comparison.
“A Roomba?” Andrew suggested.
She spluttered with laughter, a snorting guffaw he’d heard her make a handful of times before, when she was exceptionally amused. It was a distinctly unladylike, almost animalistic noise, like the grunting of pigs. He found it irresistibly adorable. His mission throughout their dates had been to say or do something funny enough to get her to laugh like that. “Exactly,” she tittered. “A Roomba. That’s basically what I am. A Roomba with an Alexa mounted on top!”
He joined in with her laughter. “An Alexa, huh? So if I asked you the time, would you tell me?”
She shrugged, still gently shuddering with mirth. “I guess, if I’ve got an actual clock in my sightline, I would. I’d have to check what it is before telling you.”
“That makes sense. Although I guess it’d be annoying of me to ask you something I could find out for myself,” he remarked.
“Hey, I don’t mind. I mean, computers don’t complain when you Google something - they’re not capable of being irritated. They just do as they’re told. And so do I.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Hey, Selena... what’s the time?”
Her eyes flicked over his shoulder, to the clock on the table behind him. “The time is 11.28 PM,” she announced brightly, grinning at him.
He smiled at her, leaving a prolonged pause before asking again, “Hey Selena, what’s the time?”
“The time is 11.28 PM,” she repeated, as cheerfully as before.
“How about now?”
“Ah ah,” she sniggered, wagging a finger. “You’ve gotta ask properly...”
He snorted. “Alright, fine! Hey Selena, what’s the time?”
“The time is 11.29 PM.”
“Hey Selena, what’s the time?”
“The time is 11.29 PM.”
“Hey Selena, what’s the time?” He was openly giggling now.
“The time is 11.29 PM.” She looked equally amused.
“You’re really OK with me asking you that over and over again?”
“I think you’re gonna get bored with this before I do,” she chuckled.
“You’re not even in robot mode!”
“Well, no,” she conceded. “But I still am a robot. And you’re still my User.” She winked.
He blushed. “User:Andrew, huh? I... I like that.”
“I thought you might.”
The conversation reaching a natural stopping point, they lay in each other’s arms for a long moment, simply enjoying each other’s company. Selena rested her head against Andrew’s chest, her face cushioned against tufts of hair, while he pressed his lips and nose against the top of her head, luxuriating in her scent.
“I know it’s still early, but I’m pretty beat,” she said eventually. “And I know we’re both working at lunch tomorrow; we should probably go to sleep.” She looked up at him with hopeful eyes. “D’you wanna stay over?”
He smiled delightedly. “Is that OK?”
“I wouldn’t have asked otherwise,” she teased.
“Well, yeah, I’d love to!”
She beamed. “Awesome. So... I have to switch myself off again, and then S3 has a bedtime procedure it goes through.”
“OK, cool...”
She sat up, and he followed suit, the duvet falling away from their naked bodies. “D’you wanna do the honours?” she asked him eagerly.
“What - how d’you mean?”
“Well, I deactivated my personality when we got here, but now that you’re a User, you can do it too - just like you reactivated me.”
“Oh! Oh, sure.” He grinned, excited at the rush of power he felt, able to switch Selena’s personality - her humanity - on and off as he desired. “So, how do I...”
“It’s the same principle as when you reactivated me, just the inverse,” she explained patiently. “Then you say, ‘S3, engage bedtime protocol’ - and sit back and watch!”
“OK,” he chuckled.
Before he could speak again, Selena edged closer to him again. “Before you do it, though, I just wanna say... thank you for tonight. I had a really good time.” She seemed like she wanted to say more, but a swell of emotion appeared to overtake her, leaving her lost for words. She simply grinned adoringly at him.
He returned the smile. He knew how vulnerable she’d made herself for him tonight, sharing her most important, intimate secret with him. He understood the significance of that, and was determined never to take it for granted. “Thank you,” he replied, putting the same emotional weight behind his words as she had.
They sat gazing at each other for a few long seconds, before she waved a hand in the air and laughed. “OK, you can do it now.”
“OK,” he snickered. “S3, deactivate your personality.”
Selena’s face relaxed back into that of a mindless automaton, its posture straightening, staring into the distance. “Personality deactivated,” it declared, before its head and eyes mechanically moved back to look at him. “User identified. Welcome, User:Andrew.”
“Hi, S3,” he said with a nervous smile. “Um... engage bedtime protocol.”
“Bedtime protocol engaged.”
Swivelling on its butt, the robot lowered its feet to the floor and stood up, bolt upright with arms rigidly straight at its side. Then it walked smoothly away to the en suite bathroom. Leaping up from the bed himself, Andrew followed, finding it squeezing toothpaste onto a toothbrush. As he watched, it placed the tube on the side of the sink and began to brush its teeth firmly and efficiently, moving the brush around its mouth in circles. A little toothpaste froth dribbled down its chin, but it didn’t seem to care.
Once it was done, it lowered the arm holding the toothbrush, positioning it at a right angle at its side, holding the brush over the sink. It turned on the faucet with its other hand, rinsed the brush, rapped it smartly against the edge of the sink, and then placed it in its holder beside the sink. Next it cupped its hands under the faucet, filling them with a small pool of water, and splashed it over its face. Nothing different or unusual from how anyone else brushed their teeth - except for the robotic nature of its every movement, and the blankness of its eyes as they stared down at the sink or met their reflection in the wall mirror above it.
Turning the faucet off, S3 turned on the spot and approached the toilet. At this point, even though it didn’t seem remotely bothered by his presence, Andrew decided to give it some privacy. Returning to the bed - after pausing only to slip his boxers back on - he lay down and tucked himself beneath the covers again.
A minute later it returned and slid in next to him, still stark naked. Remaining upright, it turned its head and lowered its gaze to look down at him. “Do you wish to receive a good night kiss?” it asked, its tone and expression as inscrutable as ever.
His eyes widened, and he beamed. “Y-yeah. Yes, please... I’d love that.”
“Confirmed.” Its face descended towards him, and it kissed him sweetly on the lips. “Good night, User:Andrew,” it said, and he thought its voice was just a little softer and more emotional than usual, although he couldn’t be sure.
Then it lay down beside him, its body and arms as straight as steel rods, the duvet tucked under its arms and wrapped around its torso. “Entering charging cycle,” it announced, closing its eyes.
Well, I guess that’s that, Andrew mused, staring at S3 in fascination as it lay still and silent, giving all appearances of being asleep. He wondered if it actually was, or if this was a part of the robotic performance - or a mixture of the two. He supposed it pretended to be deactivated until it actually fell asleep. Then again, don’t humans kinda do that too? he thought with a smile.
Before too long he drifted off to sleep himself, lying on his side, still watching his robot girlfriend.
***
“It is time to wake up, User:Andrew.”
With an incoherent mumble, Andrew buried himself deeper in the soft darkness.
“It is time to wake up, User:Andrew.” This time, the voice was accompanied by a firm hand on his shoulder, shaking it gently.
He woke with a start, blinking with confusion at his surroundings. It took him a couple of seconds to remember where he was, and he rolled onto his back to find Selena - no, S3 - standing beside the bed, staring down at him. It wore a pale blue dressing gown, which concealed its body enough that he couldn’t tell if it was still naked underneath. “Oh, hey,” he grunted, smiling blearily up at it as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
“Good morning, User:Andrew. This unit has adjusted its morning protocol to accommodate you. What would you like for breakfast?”
“Uh...” He wasn’t awake enough to think properly yet, although he was cogent enough to appreciate S3 offering to make him breakfast, and modifying its routine to include him. He decided to play it safe - “I’ll have whatever you’re having.”
“Confirmed. Your bowl of cornflakes with semi-skimmed milk will be ready in three minutes.” Raising its head to stare straight forwards as it usually did, it turned and walked away, leaving the room.
Andrew glanced at the digital clock, which read 9.30 AM. They needed to be at the restaurant by eleven, so they had plenty of time. He assumed S3 just liked to - or was programmed to - make sure it was comfortably ahead of schedule.
Quickly throwing on his shirt and pants, he padded out of the bedroom and into the living room, taking the opportunity to study the apartment more closely. Despite having been there since the previous evening, his attention had been taken up by his robot girlfriend. Looking around now, he was fairly sure it was the tidiest home he’d ever been in. It wasn’t as if there were no signs of anyone living there - there were family photos on walls, ornaments on a mantelpiece, a vase of flowers on the window sill... But everything was so neat, clean, ordered. Selena might have added plenty of personal touches, but S3 clearly kept the place relentlessly, inhumanly spick and span.
“Your breakfast is ready, User:Andrew,” S3 called from an adjoining room. Andrew quickly strode through, into a similarly spotless kitchen and dining room. S3 sat on one side of a cerulean-coloured table, on which it had placed two bowls of cereal. He took the opposite seat and picked up a metal spoon, smiling at it. It stared blankly ahead, giving no indication that it could even see him, but then asked with its typical lack of inflection, “Please grant permission for this unit to begin refuelling.”
“Um - permission granted.”
“Confirmed.” It raised its utensil to its mouth, placed a spoonful of cornflakes inside, chewed rhythmically, and swallowed, its gaze never wavering. It was equal parts eerie, fascinating, and weirdly arousing to watch.
They ate in silence. S3’s eyes remained fixed forwards most of the time, occasionally flicking down to see how much cereal it had left. Once, a little dribble of milk escaped the corner of its mouth, but when it finished its mouthful, a stiff arm raised to its face and wiped the dribble away with the back of its hand, in one firm stroke. For his part Andrew ate slowly, barely looking away from S3, studying its vacuous expression in intimate detail. He found himself absent-mindedly pawing at his crotch - by now he was sporting some pretty serious morning wood, thanks to the woman-shaped automaton sitting across from him. The infamous ‘anti-horny cereal’ it had selected for their breakfast was doing nothing to diminish his libido.
S3 finally swallowed the last small spoonful. “Refuelling complete,” it declared. “Please grant permission for this unit to dress in work attire.”
“Mm - granted,” Andrew said around a mouthful of cornflakes.
“Confirmed.” With that, it stood up and left the room as mechanically as ever.
By the time he’d finished his own breakfast - which had gone soggy, he’d neglected it so much while watching S3 eat - it had dressed in a variation of its standard monochrome work clothes, consisting of a white button-up shirt, black hairband, pleated skirt, and opaque tights. He met it in the living room, the android stopping in its tracks when it saw him.
He gestured to its clothing. “You - you ready to go, then?”
“Affirmative.”
“Are you gonna...” He swallowed. “When do you switch Selena back on?”
“This unit will reactivate Program:Selena at the last possible second before leaving the habitation,” it explained dispassionately. “However, you can reactivate Program:Selena sooner if you wish.”
He let out a heavy, satisfied breath, enraptured with the robot girl. “No... no, that’s OK. You, uh, you reactivate her when you’re ready, S3.”
“Confirmed.”
Overcome with affection for S3, he reached out and stroked its cheek, before running his fingers through its chocolate-coloured hair. Although he didn’t remotely expect one any more, he still delighted in its complete lack of reaction, other than a languorous blink. “Fuck,” he sighed happily.
“This unit is unable to comply, as there is insufficient time remaining before departure.”
He burst out laughing, stepping forwards and wrapping his arms around it, cuddling it tenderly. “Oh, S3, you’re too perfect.”
It made no move to hug him back, standing as straight and stiff as a mannequin, but replied, “Thank you, User:Andrew.” It could have been his imagination, but he thought there was just a hint of warmth in its words, as he’d thought there had been when it had said good night to him. Perhaps S3’s human emotions weren’t entirely suppressed when its personality was deactivated, whatever it believed - or perhaps they were resurfacing in response to his displays of affection.
Letting it go, Andrew made for the front door, S3 following behind him. He glanced back at it as they neared the door, in time to see it stop in its tracks. “Reactivating personality,” it declared. Then it blinked at normal human speed, looked at him, smiled bashfully, and averted its - her - eyes, reaching for her winter coat hanging on the wall. “Hiii,” she giggled.
“Good morning,” he responded, beaming at her. “Best morning ever, in fact.”
She blushed, but looked delighted. “Nothing beats a fembot alarm clock, huh?”
“Damn straight!”
***
They made their way to the nearby subway spot, holding hands as they ventured through the streets just as they had last night, Selena in her neat, clean work outfit, Andrew in his dishevelled clothes from the previous evening. This wasn’t a problem - while her apartment was a subway stop away from the restaurant, his was just down the street from it, so once they disembarked from the train he would have more than enough time to dart home and put on fresh clothes before joining her at work.
“It’s gonna be hard to concentrate on work today,” he admitted with a chuckle. “My brain’s gonna be full of everything we did last night... and everything we can do next time...”
“I’d say ‘me too’, except I shouldn’t have any trouble focusing,” she said wryly, smirking at him. “Got kind of an advantage over ya there, human boy.”
“I’ve never been called ‘human’ as an insult before,” he tittered. He gave her a look of adoration, his eyes roving up and down to take all of her in. “God, every time I see you today, I’m gonna be thinking about what happened, about what’s still happening... S3, still there under the surface, controlling everything you say and do, even though I can’t talk to it...”
She gave him a conspiratorial smile, acknowledging that she knew exactly how he felt. He realised she truly did. She spent every day like this - every time he saw her, acting like a human, she was constantly thinking about the fact that she wasn’t one, her arousal constantly simmering at the awareness of what she was and how her simulated persona was deceiving everyone. (He also realised that at this point, just as she did, he was thinking and acting as if she really was a robot, and hadn’t just hypnotised herself to become one. He’d taken in that she preferred to think of herself this way, and adjusted his own view of her in response, accepting the scenario as fact without really making a conscious decision to do so.)
“Actually, you can talk to S3,” Selena said nonchalantly. “I mean, if it’s safe to do so - if there’s no-one else around who isn’t authorised to know what I really am - then you can talk to it, ask it questions, and it’ll override the personality simulation long enough to answer.”
“Oh, really?” He quickly looked around, making sure there were no other pedestrians within earshot, and then said quietly, “So, if I were to say... S3, how are you doing right now?”
Selena’s eyes widened, and then darted around, double-checking they wouldn’t be overheard. Then her expression went blank and vacant once more. “This unit is functioning at near-optimum,” S3 droned. A second or two after its response, its face became animated once more, and Selena blushed and grinned at him. “Yeah, there you go,” she giggled shyly.
“Amazing.” He came to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk, forcing her to stop too, and turned to face her properly, locking eyes with her. “You’re amazing,” he told her solemnly.
She looked a little taken aback by his outburst, her eyes shining and her lip trembling. “Y-you’re pretty remarkable yourself!” she stammered, giving him a euphoric smile, before moving in for a kiss. He returned it passionately, his hands diving into her hair.
Finally, they broke apart. “So, we’d better get moving if we wanna get to the station in time,” Selena mumbled, gazing into Andrew’s eyes.
“Y-yeah. Yeah.”
They walked on in comfortable silence, his arm around her shoulders.
***
Program:Selena couldn’t stop smiling as she worked, a significant section of her compartmentalised mind occupied with thoughts and memories of User:Andrew. She always adopted a cheerful, welcoming demeanour while waitressing - that was just good customer service, as well as part of her programming - but today it came even easier to her.
Lunchtime at the restaurant was busy but not madly so - most tables were occupied, and the wait staff were kept on the move almost constantly, but it never reached a point where any of them were overwhelmed. One pair of regulars, a couple of elderly women who came for lunch most days, commented on how Selena seemed even happier than usual.
They weren’t the only ones to notice. “I take it last night went well?” Harriet said quietly, a knowing smirk on her face, as they crossed paths between the kitchen and the main restaurant.
“A lady never tells,” Selena replied at the same low volume, and then grinned wickedly and stepped closer to her. “But since I’m no lady - yes, it did. As well as it possibly could.”
“Yesss!” Harriet lightly punched her on the arm. “Get it, girl!” There was no more time for Selena to do more than giggle, before she had to head off to put in the order she’d just taken.
Chances for interaction with Andrew were few and far between throughout the shift, but that was probably for the best - as he’d remarked earlier, she was sure he was having enough trouble focusing on the job without having her near him. She did however shoot the odd glance at the bar, seeing him studiously working, serving drinks to and accepting cash from customers. Once or twice he caught sight of her looking at him, and shot her a brief, warm smile, his cheeks reddening.
It felt nice, knowing he was in on the secret. It was a comforting sensation, the awareness that he’d accepted her for who and what she was - it enveloped her in cosy warmth, like she was still wrapped up in her dressing gown. And of course, it was hot to know there was someone else who knew she was a false person, a constructed contraption, a Roomba-mounted-Alexa in the shape of a gorgeous woman (again, with all due modesty). Someone she could trust to use her, just as she’d always wanted - creatively, assertively, but safely. He clearly had her wellbeing at the very forefront of his mind, and was being careful to consider her feelings (even when she wasn’t capable of having any) and not cross any of her boundaries.
He did seem surprised to find she (or rather, S3) was fairly flexible in terms of her programming. (She looked forward to showing him how flexible she could be in other respects...) “I meant to say before,” he said to her earnestly at one point, “thanks for fitting me into your morning routine. I’m guessing you, or S3, have pretty, uh, fixed procedures, so I appreciate you - it - changing them for me...”
She gave him a warm smile. “It’s no trouble. You’re my User, and S3’s programmed to adjust its protocols to accommodate you. Besides, it could hardly leave you sleeping and let you miss your shift, could it?”
He blushed and smiled gratefully. “Still - thank you. And I thought I should tell you, I’ve been thinking about - y’know - ideas, and I might’ve come up with something... D’you wanna come back to mine after our shift?”
“Ooh, sounds good to me,” she replied enthusiastically. Before they could discuss it further, a customer on the other end of the restaurant waved his bill in the air, as politely as one could perform such a gesture. Shooting Andrew one last eager grin, she scurried away across the room.
As she took payment from the customers, her digital thoughts were still preoccupied with Andrew, and what he might have come up with. She was curious to learn whether he had chosen something overtly sexual, or something a little more... subtle. Whichever he chose, she was happy to do whatever her boyfriend wanted. And once her personality was deactivated, S3 would be just as willing, if not capable of happiness.
Yes, Program:Selena had started using the term ‘boyfriend’ - they’d discussed it on their fourth date - but she definitely preferred ‘User’. And she couldn’t help imagining a day when she promoted User:Andrew to Owner:Andrew. Such a decision couldn’t be made lightly, but S3 calculated at least an 80% probability of eventually taking its and Andrew’s relationship to the highest level.
One step at a time, she told herself, grinning with excitement. This unit will grant Owner privileges if and when necessary... but it’s looking good so far!
A special thanks to my patrons: qxvw198, Modren, noëlle and John Doe! If you'd like to follow their wonderful example and show me your support too (and thus get early access to my stories), my Patreon can be found here.
That's the main part of this story finished, but I have some more ideas regarding S3-L3N4 and User:Andrew. Not sure yet if I'll do them as full chapters or just vignettes, but time will tell!