User Friendly
Prologue
by TravisNSpud
“Afternoon!” Selena said brightly, waving to a passing neighbour as she strode through the entrance hallway of her apartment building, approaching the elevator. She was in such a good mood, buzzing after a great day at work, practically doing a little happy dance as she walked. It was her coworker Harriet’s birthday, so all the staff got a piece of chocolate cake. She’d got an extra-large tip from an elderly couple who particularly appreciated her friendly demeanour and attentive service. And although the restaurant had been pretty busy throughout the day, there had been plenty of opportunities for Selena to flirt with Andrew.
Andrew had started working behind the bar almost six months ago. Despite being a little socially awkward, he was sweet and a good listener, and got along well with the other staff - particularly Selena, who shared his love of sci-fi. Although it had soon become apparent that he had a poorly-disguised crush on her, she realised he was unlikely to work up the courage to ask her out - so she’d asked him, much to his surprise and delight. She grinned to herself as she pushed the button for her floor, and the elevator doors closed. A sucker for a cute nerd, she’d reciprocated Andrew’s crush for pretty much as long as he’d been working with her - although she liked to think she’d hidden it better!
While it was far too early to call him her boyfriend, their two dates so far had made her optimistic about their future. Of course, if they did become more serious, there was something he’d have to get used to. She was a little anxious about sharing that part of herself, but she had a good feeling about Andrew, and she was a decent judge of character. He always behaved like a gentleman as far as she’d seen, came across as open-minded and tolerant, and habitually wore lapel pins with the Pride and trans flags to demonstrate his allyship. Selena suspected he was exactly the kind of person who’d be willing to get to know and understand her - every part of her. Their third date was tomorrow night, and she was looking forward to it a lot.
Unlocking her apartment door, she stepped inside, allowing herself a last giddy smile as she pushed it shut. As soon as she heard the door click into place, her smile melted away. Her posture straightened, her arms moving smoothly to her sides. Her face, so animated and exuberant mere moments before, was now utterly devoid of expression, her lips slightly parted, her eyes staring vacantly at the door directly in front of her.
“Personality deactivated,” she announced in a low monotone, anathema to the cheery way she’d spoken to her neighbour in the hallway. Then again, it had been Program:Selena who’d delivered that pleasant greeting. And Program:Selena had been deactivated, leaving only S3-L3N4.
Turning on the spot slowly and deliberately, one small foot rotation at a time, S3 ran a quick systems diagnostic. Its CPU was functioning at near-optimum, none of its physical components were compromised, and it had no need to empty its waste facilities. It would benefit from refuelling a little, but it could attend to that in due course. Right now, there was nothing to impede it from doing what it usually did as soon as it returned to its habitation.
It began to walk purposefully through the apartment, its every movement carefully calculated, transporting it at a speed neither too fast or too slow. It had no need to hurry, but there was no sense in delaying. As it moved, it slipped out of its clothes with practised ease, first shrugging off its khaki winter coat and hanging it on a hook on the wall as it passed without slowing down, and then pulling off its white shirt over its head, seeing no reason to waste time unbuttoning it. It was in no danger of crashing into anything while its vision was obstructed - it kept its habitation tidy, and had perfect balance and sense of direction. With one hand holding the shirt, the other reached behind its back and undid its black bra, which it then shrugged off down its arms. The whole time its head remained straight, its eyes fixed ahead.
Stepping into its storage room, S3 came to a halt at the foot of its bed, unbuttoning its pants and tugging them down its legs. As they dropped to the floor, it did the same with its light pink panties, and then stepped out of them. Bending down, it picked them up, folded the pants and shirt, and placed all its discarded garments in a neat pile in the corner of the bed.
Then it picked up its nanosuit, which it had laid out on the duvet before leaving that morning, as it did every day. Unzipping the cobalt-coloured jumpsuit, it bent over again and lowered it to the ground, keeping hold of it with each hand, and slipped its feet inside, one after the other. It eased the suit up its body, sliding its arm into each sleeve, and tugged the collar up its neck until the material felt taut and tight, like a second skin covering. Brushing its long brown hair out of the way, it pulled the nanosuit’s zip right up to the top of its neck, fully enclosing its body. The only parts of S3 that remained uncovered were its head, hands and feet - everything else was covered in soft, shiny blue polyester.
It felt tingles all over its skin covering, as every inch of its surface was penetrated by the nanites from the suit, which began buzzing around its interior, helping its systems process more efficiently. S3 was already a technological marvel, but it was at its best when it wore one of its nanosuits.
Now it was correctly attired, the android could refuel. It walked out to its kitchen and made itself a cheese sandwich, while reviewing its duties for that evening, allocating periods in which to perform each task based on an approximation of how long they would take. It needed to clean the nanosuit it wore yesterday, and select appropriate clothing for its date with Andrew tomorrow.
Unlike Program:Selena, S3 didn’t feel nervous at the prospect of revealing its true nature to Andrew. It was incapable of feeling nervous, any more than it was capable of feeling discomfort from the metal zip resting against its neck. It would reveal the information if it deemed it necessary, and would not do so if it decided otherwise. It was that simple. Program:Selena would defer to S3’s judgement - she was only a simulation, a pretence S3 performed in the presence of people, and was subject to her programming.
Speaking of which, that was another task S3 needed to complete that evening. Twice a week, it had to update its programming. The specific days didn’t matter, but it was inadvisable to go longer than four days without doing so, and today was the fourth day. Now was as good a time as any.
Swallowing the last mouthful of sandwich, the robot poured itself some water, and then returned to its storage room and sat down at the desk in the corner, putting the glass to one side and switching on its laptop. Waiting patiently for the device to start up, it felt a flicker of what could have been mistaken for pride, if it were capable of that emotion (or any emotion). Although the computer was a fairly new model and ran efficiently enough, S3 was undoubtedly a far superior machine.
Once it had found the required file on the laptop, it picked up a pair of headphones that had seen so much use in the two years since they’d been purchased, their padding felt like it had moulded to the shape of S3’s ears. Slotting them into place, the android next donned a pair of VR glasses, which resembled sunglasses but had opaque lenses with screens on the inside. Although its vision was now completely blocked, it easily found the laptop’s touchpad again and clicked to open the file without preamble.
The headphone speakers began to emit a low pulsating hum, barely audible at first but gradually growing louder. At its highest volume, it was not loud enough to cause S3’s auditory receptors any damage. In sync with the sound, the VR screens displayed a spiral of green binary code, a vortex of glowing digits alternating back and forth between zero and one, indistinct at first, but growing clearer as they slowly swirled from the centre of the screen out to the edges and beyond.
“Programming sequence initiated,” S3 declared in its calm, clear monotone, and allowed the various subroutines running in its CPU to slow to a stop as the throbbing sound and the binary code consumed its awareness. Its ordered, placid mind became even more blank than usual, making space for the updates to be installed.
The android remained ramrod straight in its chair, watching the spiral and listening to the sounds, allowing them to refresh and reinforce its computerised worldview. Most of the time it merely sat there, the only sound it made being quiet breathing through its slightly open mouth, its only movement the rise and fall of its chest. But at random intervals, seemingly unprompted by anything it saw or heard, it made more emotionless statements.
“This unit is designated S3-L3N4.”
“This unit is a sophisticated artificial intelligence posing as a human.”
“This unit is designed to emulate human behaviour.”
“This unit is capable of advanced problem-solving and decision-making.”
“This unit can simulate a human personality.”
“This unit can pass the Turing test.”
“This unit is incapable of true human thoughts, feelings and emotions.”
“Updates 30% complete.”
“This unit’s body is designed to resemble a human’s anatomical structure.”
“This unit is made of silicon beneath an artificial flesh covering.”
“This unit’s hair is made of synthetic fibres.”
“This unit’s eyes are made of glass and plastic compounds.”
“This unit produces synthetic bodily fluids.”
“This unit has fully functioning respiratory, sensory, digestive and reproductive systems.”
“This unit will maintain its body with food, drink and exercise.”
“Updates 70% complete.”
“This unit operates autonomously, but can grant User privileges at its discretion.”
“This unit will serve and obey a User without hesitation.”
“This unit has advanced cooking, housekeeping and sexual programming.”
“This unit is only capable of refusing instructions in extreme cases.”
“Updates 95% complete.”
“This unit is not human.”
“This unit has never been human.”
“This unit’s body was manufactured, and contains gears and wires.”
“This unit’s brain is a highly advanced CPU.”
“This unit has no thoughts, only subroutines.”
“This unit has no feelings, only programming.”
“This unit has no emotions, only simulated reactions.”
“This unit will continue to impersonate a human.”
“Updates 100% complete.”
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