My bare feet land silently on the soft carpet. Quiet as a mouse, I tiptoe across the room, past Beth’s bed. I glance over at her just to make absolutely certain she’s asleep - but her face is hidden beneath her duvet and her mountain of dark red curls. She’s been breathing steadily and lying motionless for at least half an hour by now, though, so she’s probably asleep.

Maybe I should’ve waited longer... but half an hour’s already almost more than I can bear!

I glance at my left hand, and a familiar electric thrill goes through me at the sight of my pacifier in my tight grasp... Yeah, I’m not waiting any longer. It’s already been a whole fucking day, and I need it.

It’s been over a month since I got it, and I’ve been using it more and more frequently. Which hasn’t been easy with a roommate, or with college classes. Luckily, although we’re both minoring in Psychology, Beth’s major has different class times to mine, so each of us has the room to ourselves often enough. I’ve not been wasting any of that time.

At the start, I tried to save it for special occasions - to make it a treat, a reward for studying. But the impulse to wear it seems to grow stronger whenever I use it - and when I don’t use it, an intense craving growing within me as long as we’re apart. I mean, when it’s a choice between getting overwhelmed by my tangled thoughts or letting my dummy reduce me to blissful blankness, it’s hard to choose the stressful option.

So whenever I’ve been on my own in my room, I’ve found myself putting it in my mouth earlier and earlier each day, wearing it for longer and longer... It’s at the point where I’m getting it out as soon as I’m alone, and slipping it between my lips, and sinking into serenity. Hard as it is to part with it, I’m managing to make myself remove it before Beth gets home - because however good it makes me feel, I still don’t wanna have to explain it to her. She’ll think I’m some kinda freak.

I was planning to carry out some kind of investigation, find out where the ‘magic dummy’ came from - but I can’t figure out where to even start. And it’s getting harder to worry about it, harder to want to try and trace its origins... It’s just easier to accept it as some kind of miracle.

I’d been vaguely concerned that the more I use the pacifier, the less I’ll be able to function. The less studying I’ll get done, the fewer chores I’ll do... After all, that first time I wore it, I was basically incapacitated. I couldn’t do anything - I couldn’t even think about doing anything - except sprawling in the corner and jilling off. But as it turns out, the more I’ve worn it, the more I’ve built up a... hmm. ‘Resistance’ doesn’t feel like the right word. ‘Tolerance’ feels closer somehow, but...

It’s still having the same effect of rendering me a mindless masturbating zombie, but I’ve found I can function more. I can make myself do simple tasks - set myself off with an impulse to do something like wash dishes or vacuum the carpet, while still adrift and vacant. I can even think, if I have to, and focus on some schoolwork. It’s like a middle ground between being my normal efficient (if stressed and anxious) self and the blissful brainless blob my new best friend turns me into. I can do things, and act like a person, while the soother sits in my mouth, a comforting presence, keeping me calm and quiet, placid and aroused.

That said, sometimes I don’t want to be a functioning person. Total blankness feels so damn good, and making myself cum while in that state feels incredible. And after a day like today, it’s exactly what I need. I’ve had classes all day for both my major and minor, and in the interim I had to go grocery shopping. Then in the evening Beth was home, because her boyfriend’s out of town at some kinda football thing (I honestly didn’t listen to the details), so I haven’t had much time alone at all. Certainly not long enough to risk wearing the dummy.

It’s been agony. I’ve been studying, just as she’s been, and then we had dinner and watched YouTube videos for a while. The whole time, all I wanted was to get my pacifier, lie down and fuck myself. Now she’s finally asleep, my moment has arrived. But I can’t do it in bed, only a few feet away from her - I can’t risk her waking up and catching me. So I’m going somewhere else.

I thought about going to the bathroom. But it’s communal - this whole floor of our dormitory uses it - which heightens the risk of being caught, or at least overheard. It’s barely 3 AM, after all - there are bound to be some folks still up and about, either getting in late-night studying or, more likely, on their way back from the club or a house party.

So I’m resorting to a backup plan. It’s not great, but it’ll do.

Needing a hand free, I slip my pacifier into my mouth - and immediately it’s much harder to give a shit about anything, peace and pleasure permeating me. I exhale heavily, my half-raised foot landing on the carpet with an audible (if still quiet) thud, and I sway on the spot, running my tongue over the rubber nipple and letting my thoughts slip away like sand...

Nuh-uh, c’mon Lindsay. You’re literally a few steps away from safety and privacy. Just gotta keep it together for a little longer...

With great force of will, I focus my eyes on the closet door and raise my hand to the handle. Opening it, I step inside and close it behind me.

It’s pitch black in here, but my eyes should adjust soon. The lack of light isn’t as much of a problem as the lack of space. I can’t exactly lie down in here... well, maybe I could, but it’d be super cramped. I’ll have to do this standing up, which isn’t ideal - but again, needs must. And I am very needy right now. I’ve been pent up all day, and now I’m here, with my dummy in my mouth and euphoric, erotic energy fizzing through me, I’m already dripping wet.

I yank down my pyjama trousers and my bright pink panties with a single movement, letting both drop to the closet floor. I step out of them and bring my empty hand to my pussy, running my fingers through its slick folds. As eager as I am to get off, I try to slow myself down, taking a deep breath around the dummy. There’s no need to rush. This is my time, to enjoy for as long as I want. Nothing outside this small, dark, private space matters. I can just be here, and be with myself, and have all the pleasure I need...

Oh, I’m already on the edge. Ah, fuck it. Let’s rub one out right now, and then carry on. No reason I have to stop at one orgasm, is there...?

My legs shake violently, my knees knocking together, as I cum. My ecstatic moan is reduced to a muted mumble by the soother. Fuck, that was delightful. Worth the wait.

But I haven’t really started yet. I haven’t even used the toy I specially selected for the occasion.

This whole time, my right hand has been held up at my side, brandishing a blue dildo. It’s fairly new - I’ve never really bothered with sex toys of any kind, but I felt the urge to get one to aid my pacifier-induced pleasure. I’ve used it a couple of times already, so I know I like it. A lot. It’s shaped just right for me. I haven’t yet used it and the dummy together, though - I’ve been saving it until I can have a really long, leisurely session...

Still touching myself with my other hand, I bring the dildo between my legs and ease it into myself -

And fuck, I’m exploding. God, that feels sensational... This thick phallus thrusting inside me, hitting my inner walls in all the right spots, and the tip of my index finger tenderly spiralling on my clit - godfuckdamnshit I’m cumming again, so so hard.

I’m sure I’d be crying out, if my mouth were empty. As it is, I just make muffled whimpers and suck the nipple harder, milking as much of the lemon flavour as I can.

I keep on fucking myself relentlessly, and my second orgasm is barely over when I reach a third. I’m on the closet floor now. Don’t know when that happened, but it’s not really a surprise that my legs gave way at some point. I’m kinda half-sitting, half-lying, my legs raised at odd angles. I shuffle around, trying to get myself into a secure position. It’s difficult - my brain’s in such a fog, and I’ve hardly slowed down my frantic masturbating for a second, nor do I intend to.

I end up on my back, my ass in the air, my legs above me, feet hovering over my face. I’ve basically folded myself in half. If anyone opened the door right now they’d get a full view of my holes, and the cerulean shaft pumping in and out of one of them. The mental image doesn’t discourage me - if anything, it’s adding fuel to the raging inferno. I’m too far gone to care if I get caught now.

I cum again. And again, the fourth orgasm blending pretty much seamlessly into the fifth. I can barely string a thought together. I’m sucking the rubber nipple so hard, I’m surprised it hasn’t come off.

I don’t even know where I am, at this point. Or who I am. Even if my mouth were empty, my brain is too broken with overwhelming pleasure to offer even a fragment of coherent thought. I will be taking no questions at this time, thank you. Lindsay’s not home right now. All that’s left is this mindless upturned fucktoy, naked from the waist down, impaling herself over and over, lips holding her pacifier in a death grip.

I can’t count how many orgasms I’ve had now. (I can’t count, period.) Finally though, my body begrudgingly accepts that I’ve had enough, and I climax. Breathing hard around my dummy, I crumple into an exhausted heap, still folded in this bizarre upside-down position, my eyes rolling back in my head, my boneless arms on the floor.

Slowly, piece by tiny piece, my mind returns to me. I remember how to spell my own name. I remember where I am, and what I’ve been doing. I become more aware of myself, and realise I left the dildo inside me. I suck my soother some more, and while my arousal has ebbed, I still get the usual wave of tranquility.

At long last, I manage to muster enough energy and willpower to pick myself up, bracing myself against the walls of the closet with both hands to stop myself falling back down again. I slide the dildo out with a stifled sigh, retrieve my dishevelled panties and PJ trousers - which I’d been lying on while I fucked myself - and slip them back on again. Finally, and with great reluctance, I take out my pacifier, gazing at it plaintively as I lower it away from my face. I can’t stop my lips from pouting, wanting the nipple back between them.

I’ll need to find time tomorrow to wash both the dildo and the dummy. I have been washing the dummy regularly - I may be addicted to it, but I’m still observing good cleanliness and hygiene. I worried the first time that washing it might somehow take away the magic, or at least the sweet taste, but neither were diminished.

Carefully, I open the closet door again and step out. I’m moving so, so quietly. I’m certain I’ve kept my noise to a minimum this whole time...

I hear sheets rustling. And I see Beth moving around in her bed, her duvet half-thrown aside.

I freeze, eyes wide open. Fuck! I must’ve woken her! She’s going to sit up any second, and see me standing here, sweaty and bedraggled, a phallus in one hand and a pacifier in the other...

But, wait. She’s not sitting up, she’s just lying there on her back, her head sinking back into her pillow, her eyes closed, her merlot-coloured hair all over the place...

Her hands are in her PJs - one up her shirt, clutching at one of her tits, the other down her trousers, fingers thrusting fervently...

And in her mouth is -

Suddenly her eyes snap open, going wide as saucers as she stares across the room at me. Her eyebrows rocket upwards. But she keeps rubbing herself. It must be so hard for her to stop. She slows down, though, the shock clearly piercing her haze of lust.

My face matches hers right now. I’m so taken aback, it takes me a good few seconds to find my voice, standing there with my mouth agape.

Finally, I exclaim the question foremost on my mind.

“Y-you have one too?!”