The flight had been a long one. Flying subsonic always took longer.

She could feel it. It wanted to be dropped. It wanted to be used. It knew it would be a good doll if it went where it was supposed to. She felt sad. It didn't know any better.

They were approaching the target. She could see the lights below. Could imagine the throngs of people celebrating the holidays. She knew her orders but it didn't make things easier.

From the moment it was born she had been connected to the doll. She had raised it to want this. She had kept the small cube filled with neural matter warm. She had fed it cared for it, read it bedtime stories.... But now it would be gone.

The connection they shared, the soft playfully feeling where it touched her mind. Too innocent to comprehend that it was being used.

She loved peering into its mind. The doll was filled with simple thoughts and pleasures. It had been so easy to mold, to change.

She was brought back to the present by it's voice. "Afterwards when we go home, can you eat ice cream for me?"

It didn't know. She hadn't been allowed to tell it. The guilt weighed on her heart.

"Of course I will, I'll make sure it's your favorite flavor."

When it wasn't in it's bomb the doll had no way to experience the world accept through their linked senses.

It was time. The order came in. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Why are you crying?" It asked. She couldn't respond. She couldn't do anything.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't go on. The orders from command became increasingly panicked. Suddenly the lights on her control panel dimmed. The automatic controls had been remotely engaged.

No, this couldn't be happening, it was supposed to be her choice! With a sickening feeling in her stomach she felt the hydraulics open the doors.

By the time it had been dropped, she was screaming, kicking the cockpit, slamming her head into the glass and the control panel. She could feel it still. It was worried about her. Couldn't understand what was wrong with her. And ice cream it was thinking about ice cream. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she told it over and over how much she loved it, and always would love it. She could feel it's happiness at knowing it was loved. It was skillfully evading interceptor missiles and lasers.

Then nothing. She felt nothing.

It was as if a part of herself was gone. As the aircraft continued back to the base she curled up and cried.