Kiki just wasn't happy. Once I knew what to look for, it was impossible not to see it. She walked a little slowly, spoke a little softly, every so often she'd just look out into the distance as if she was longing for something.

We had been friends longer than I could remember. Kiki and Janna. Opposites in so many ways, but bonded together from the moment we met. She's quiet, artistic, minimalistic, enjoyed her time alone as much as she liked being with friends; I'm outgoing, athletic, physical, and the idea of sitting still through a half-hour TV show exhausts me. It made us almost perfect roommates. I had no trouble handling all the day-to-day things, sweeping up, doing dishes, while she would take care of paperwork, paying bills... We split cooking detail, sometimes working together, sometimes alone, but always happily having supper together.

And spending so much time with someone... you start to notice when they're a bit down. It wasn't worrying, but that didn't mean I wasn't worried. I didn't expect that she'd hurt herself or anything, but I still wanted my friend to be happy. And Kiki just wasn't happy.

So I served her a nice salad. Kale and spinach, cucumber, celery, green and red peppers, cherry tomatoes, with a nice homemade vinaigrette. I was pretty proud of it, and it did taste great, a nice refreshing dinner on a warm summer day. When she came in from her evening devotions, it was nicely plated, out on the table. She could tell that I'd worked hard on it, and her appreciation showed on her face as she sat.

I sat next to her with my own plate, and held her hand. We both bowed our heads, and softly, in unison, we muttered:

"To follow the law is natural and normal. To sing the praise is natural and normal. To hear the word is natural and normal. To live our fate is natural and normal."

Well, almost in unison. She was a little behind on the last one. And of course I noticed. That was one of the things I had been noticing. That rhythm had been drilled into us so precisely that just the little slip was almost impossible not to notice.

I let her hand go as she picked up her fork, and I hesitated. "Hey, um, Keeks?"

"Hm?" She turned to me, her mouth full of greens.

"I've, um. I've been noticing that you're... not..."

She swallowed. "What is it, Jan?"

Her voice showed genuine concern, which made it easier to continue. "Just lately you've seemed... distant, and maybe a bit unhappy."

She paused. If I'd been wrong she would have shut me down instantly, so that little pause told me what I needed to know. "I... I don't know, Jan."

I put my hand on hers. "I'm here for you, whatever it is, you know that."

Our eyes met, and she smiled, shyly. "I'm just... Do you ever fell like there should be something more, Jan?"

"More than what?" I asked, confused.

"You know. Law, praise, word and fate." She put her fork down and stood up, turning away from me. "It feels like there should be more than that, sometimes, I think."

I shrugged. "I've never thought about it."

"I don't think many people have. And sometimes that bugs me." She turned back to face me. She was smiling, but her eyes looked sad. "Some part of me wants to find out what that means."

"Maybe that's an artsy thing," I teased her. It was how I usually teased her when she talked about ideas that were too big for me. Kiki was an artist, after all, and had lighter farming and gardening duties than most of us in exchange for her making paintings and carvings that improved everyone's lives. I wasn't an artist, my other job was helping out the injured, and fortunately we didn't have any of those at that moment.

She giggled. "Yeah, could be I guess." She walked back to the chair but didn't sit down, resting her hands on the back. "Maybe it's just something to think about, though?"

"Well, okay," I said. "Let's think about it."

She sighed and sat back down.

"So if there's something more than the law, the praise, the word, and our fate, what would it be?" I asked.

She shook her head. "That's what I don't know. We just sort of live out our lives here in the village, and no one ever thinks of leaving."

"To be satisfied in our place here is—"

"Natural and normal." She joined me on the chorus. I felt a rush of joy, both at saying the words and at hearing her say them.

"And it feels like it," Kiki continued. "But it doesn't feel like it should be, always? I don't really know how to explain it. I'm satisfied in my place, I live my fate, but there's something that's not quite right about that. So no one ever thinks of leaving, but..." She took a breath, and I waited. "Have you ever noticed how young we all are?"

I scratched my head. "I'm just this age, though?"

"How old are you?"

I thought about it. I wasn't actually sure.

"If I had to guess," Kiki said, "I'd say you're about twenty, twenty-one?"

I nodded. "Yeah. you, too."

"And I think Irena is probably the oldest one here, and she can't be more than a few years older than us."

"Right, but—"

"And no one is really younger than us. Maybe Alarie? But I'd say that of the thirty people here, we're all between, maybe, nineteen and twenty-seven."

"Okay, sure, that seems a bit strange."

"You've also noticed that we're all women, right?"

I blinked. "I... never really thought about it."

"Right? So where do new people come from? Where do the old ones go?" She picked up her fork and pointed it at me. "You weren't born here, right?"

I thought about it. I never had before. I took a bite of the salad instead of answering. It was really good.

"Doesn't that bother you at all?"

"It never has," I answered honestly. "It just feels like I've always been here."

"Yeah, me too."

"It's kinda nice."

She nodded. "Always being here feels—"

"Natural and normal," we both said, and I could see by the flush in her cheeks that she was feeling the same rush I was.

"Life began here, didn't it?" I asked.

"But if life began here, how are you twenty years old?"

"Well, I guess I must have been here twenty years, then?"

"But there are no children here, no babies. How long have you known me?"

"I dunno, forever?" I shrugged and took another bite.

"So what did we play together as kids? Talk about boys? Study together? What made us friends, Jan?"

"Well, uh..."

We both ate in silence for a moment or two.

"You've been my friend forever, Jan," Kiki said after a moment. "I just don't know what forever is."

I nodded. "I'm gonna have to think about it, I guess." I took my empty salad bowl to the sinkside, then took off my apron and hung it up on the hook by the cupboards. It was all I had been wearing. Nudity is natural and normal, after all. Kiki typically wore a long white shirt, like that evening, that covered her torso down to her hips; it was how she felt most comfortable, even if it did little to hide her dark skin. "I've got late shift for my devotions, you wanna do anything for a couple hours?"

"Mostly talk about this, but I can see you don't really want to."

I smiled. "Thank you, yeah, I mean, it's a lot to think about." I stepped slowly over to her chair. "Maybe I can do something to take your troubles off your mind?"

The two of us laughed. I was never any good at seduction, and the two of us had been joking about it for as long as we'd known each other. Having fun with your friends is natural and normal. Kiki grabbed my hand and brought it to her lips. "I actually had really good devotions, and after that lovely salad I wouldn't mind a little... exercise." She smirked, then without warning launched herself from her chair and tackled me to the soft floor. Her kisses all over my face felt good and familiar and fun, while her fingers dug into my sides, tickling me enough to make me squirm. I wrapped myself around her and pulled her lips to mine, sliding fingers through her thin, dark hair. She tasted like happiness and cherry tomato.

I purred from under her. "Devotions must have been good if you're this energetic even with all those questions."

She smiled, her eyes got a bit distant and her dark face flushed a little darker as she said in a deep, husky voice, "Oh, you know. Making love with your friends is—"

And I couldn't help but finish with her. "Natural and normal."

Our kissing continued, and deepened, and deepened, and soon I had her sucking on my small tits as I ran my hands up and down her back, pulling her shirt up further and further. It was difficult to stop, but if we wanted to go further, we needed to get up and move, and I wanted to go further. And Kiki clearly did as well, since she pulled out of my grip and got to her feet, letting her shirt fall back down as she reached out to help me up.

I moved effortlessly into another kiss, deep and passionate. Passion for your friends is natural and normal, after all. Kiki's hands gripped me tight at the hips and pulled me close into her, close enough that the fabric of her shirt was pressed against both of our breasts in a pleasing and interesting way. When you almost never wear clothes, the touch of cloth, especially against sensitive breasts, can be exhilarating.

Exhilarating, yes, but not what I wanted. So I leaned in to remind her that, "Being naked is—"

"Natural and normal," we breathed together.

I took the hem of her shirt in my hands. She inched back to give us room to manoeuvre. My leg inched forward to slide up and down the inside of her thighs as I pulled the light white cotton over her head, baring her dark chest and heavy tits. I could see her arousal in the proud pink nipples standing firm, could feel it in the wetness on my leg, hear it in her rapid breathing, and I knew I was in a similar state. Our mouths met again, and our bodies, and this time there was nothing to keep our breasts from meeting.

Every second, every instant felt perfectly natural and normal.

We moved to the bed that occupied much of our living room, practically one body, embracing tight and kissing deep before we shifted and pressed our middles together, rubbing our sexes on each other, holding hands and pulling and pushing and slipping and rolling until everything burst into ecstasy and joy. It felt so new, so fresh, almost like it was the first time we'd made love.

It felt like every time we'd made love. And as Kiki settled beside me in a warm cuddle, I couldn't help but wonder how many times that had actually been.

But falling asleep in my friend's arms felt natural and normal, and I couldn't think about it any more.

The devotion bell rang too soon, as far as I was concerned, but waking up fresh and ready for my duties was natural and normal. Kiki let me go and rolled to her feet, ready for her own nighttime work.

"I need to bathe before devotions," I said.

Kiki giggled. "Wonder why."

I made my way to the door, heading to the bathhouse, and paused with my hand on the knob. "Keeks, what we were talking about..."

"Yeah, Jan?"

"I'll think about it."

She nodded. "Me too."

I slipped on my sandals and stepped out of our little one-room cabin, walking down the wooded path towards the central hub of the community. The moon was full and it was easy to see my way without help, and in a moment I was at the door of the communal bathhouse.

I pushed my way inside and was greeted with a faceful of steam and a friendly smile. Angelyne, seated facing the door, was working the baths that night. She and I had been good friends as long as I could remember. Though I hadn't realized before just how little memory I had.

Where Kiki was dark, Angelyne was black. She kept her hair in tight curls that framed her face perfectly and let her bright green eyes shine. She wore soft shoes to keep from slipping on the tile, and nothing else, presumably to avoid the inevitable dampness and clinging from the light fabrics we had access to.

Seeing me enter, she grabbed her cane and pulled herself to her feet. We met in a warm and comfortable embrace.

"How are you doing, Janna?" she asked me, her smile bright in her voice.

"Oh, I'm alright," I answered. "Just need to get cleaned up before devotions."

"Right, of course. Haven't got long then." She let me go and turned towards the bath. "Just got it nicely cleaned and ready," she said, waving with her free hand.

There was room in the round tub for three people, which we all knew from experience. Sharing a bath was natural and normal, after all, but overcrowding could be a problem, especially when someone was in a hurry to get clean. I slipped into the warm water and sat on the bench. Angelyne took a small bucket and filled it from the tap nearby, then eased herself to a kneeling position on a cushion.

"Want me to do your hair?" she asked me.

I nodded, and she slowly poured the bucket over my head, using her hands delicately to keep most of the stream out of my face, then to gently comb through my dark red locks. Her touch was amazing, extremely relaxing.

Still, I couldn't shake the thought. "Angelyne," I began as she pulled the last tangles out.

"What is it?" I could hear her rubbing her hands together, and the slippery sound of shampoo.

"How old are you?" I asked a bit nervously.

She paused for a moment, then started rubbing shampoo into my hair with a deep scalp massage. "Oh, I dunno, about twenty-four, twenty-five, why?"

About what I would have guessed, too. "What did you do before you came here?"

Her hands kept working, but a bit slower. "Huh."

"What is it?"

"Just never thought about it, really." Her touch got stronger again. "Suppose I must have done something." I could almost hear her thinking. She spoke again after a moment. "There's no kids, but we must have come from somewhere though."

"Uh huh, Kiki said the same. Got me thinking." The bucket was back, as were fingers slipping through my hair, cleaning out the shampoo. "No elders, either."

"Yeah. Weird. Never thought about it."

I nodded, partly just moving with Angelyne's hands. "Isn't that weird too? Isn't that something we should be—"

The second bell rang then. Angelyne's hands released my head. "Done in the nick of time," she said. "You've got ten minutes to clean and dry, I'll start getting things together for cleaning. Keeping everything clean is—"

"Natural and normal," we both said.

I smiled and ducked my head under the water, just because it felt nice. I surfaced and grabbed a bar of soap, standing up in water to my knees and unabashedly cleaning every inch of my body south of my scalp, making myself ready for devotions. Angelyne was ready with a towel when I finished, and I had just enough time to get my shoes on and step out into cool air when the third bell rang. Fortunately, the devotional hall was only a few steps from the bathhouse.

Zara was just finishing lighting the candles as I came in. Two others were kneeling, heads bowed; I recognized Sierra from her long bright green hair and Maddie from her missing hand. I took my place on one of the mats, and when Zara knelt down next to me, we began to speak together.

"To follow the law is natural and normal. To sing the praise is natural and normal. To hear the word is natural and normal. To live our fate is natural and normal."

We all took a slow breath, together, not moving, looking straight ahead at the candles. Zara's beautiful alto on my left blended warmly with Sierra's on my right, while Maddie added her small high-pitched chirp. It was an almost magical harmony, even though we weren't singing.

"To follow the law is natural and normal. To sing the praise is natural and normal. To hear the word is natural and normal. To live our fate is natural and normal."

Not a word, not a syllable out of place. It felt like we'd been practising for years to perfect this chant. The slow pace of our speech made it easy to relax into the words.

It felt like I'd been saying them forever. They were so much a part of me, as much as my own thoughts. Even those thoughts about what had come before, about how real my memories were and my history.

"To follow the law is natural and normal. To sing the praise is natural and normal. To hear the word is natural and normal. To live our fate is natural and normal."

It was easy to feel those ideas integrating, to have law and praise and word and fate mixing with question and uncertainty and doubt and challenge. I didn't slip off the beat for even a moment as we chanted together, and neither did Sierra, or Zara, or Maddie.

"To follow the law is natural and normal. To sing the praise is natural and normal. To hear the word is natural and normal. To live our fate is natural and normal."

I wasn't sure how many times we'd spoken those words, at that point. It didn't actually matter. The point wasn't the number of repetitions. It wasn't even the words we were repeating. The point was the feeling of it, the gentle reinforcement of the way we were to live. We were to feel that we were following the law, singing the praise, hearing the word, and living our fate. It was the togetherness, all of us pulling in one direction.

Which was what made Kiki's unhappiness, and her questioning, a little distressing. Not that I thought even the slightest bit less of her, but her questions have given me doubts. And maybe I had given Angelyne doubts, in turn. That was hard to think about.

But harmony was important, and I didn't want to distract the other three with my problems.

"To follow the law is natural and normal. To sing the praise is natural and normal. To hear the word is natural and normal. To live our fate is natural and normal."

I felt proud of how I was able to chant with my friends, even with those doubts and questions. And every breath let those uncertainties fade a little more as harmony reasserted itself.

Still, I was worried for Angelyne, and especially for Kiki. I didn't know when Angelyne was going to be able to chant next, but Kiki was on an evening rotation, and would have to wait until suppertime before she could sing with the others. I made a mental note to see if I could help her later.

Some unheard signal passed through us, and we fell silent. My eyes closed, but I could feel myself breathing along with my friends. Sierra let out a soft moan, and I understood how she felt. Sometimes it was too much to contain. And her ecstasy was infectious, it piled on my own. Maddie's gasp followed, and I could tell she was trying to keep control, but that was when the spell started to fall apart, as always happened. I still didn't open my eyes, but I could hear Zara get to her feet. My hands, clasped properly behind my back, ached to move, and my leg muscles started to shake, just a little. Where before I was out of my body, existing just as one of four devotional souls, and more than that, one of thirty spirits in community, now I felt every inch of myself. Every sensation came back to me, little by little.

I held my position, but I fought my body to do it. I heard Zara, responsible for the praise that day, gently blow out the candles. I could sense Sierra and Maddie moving together, but I felt, deeply felt, a need to hold my place. The words of the meditations held me in place. I knew it was Zara that moved past me first, patting me on the shoulder as she did, and I could hear the sound of kisses coming from my left, and I kept still. I took a deep, slow breath. The sounds seemed to fade, though I knew that Sierra and Maddie weren't holding back. I knew, but it didn't matter.

I could hear something else, something from far beyond the devotional hall. Some of it seemed to come out of the noise of my friends making love, the rhythm of their movements and the vocalizations they made, and some from my own breathing, but some of the sound seemed like it came from miles away, outside the community, maybe even from beyond the ocean.

Almost silently, I whispered to myself and to that other presence so far beyond, "I need help."

"I know," came the answer in my mind, filling me with warmth, reinforcing my determination to stay exactly where I was, despite my urges to join in with the others. "What is it that troubles you?"

"Questions. So many questions." I took a long, slow breath as the faint smell of sex reached me. "Is there more to life than law, praise, word, and fate?"

I felt a thrum in the air that reminded me of gentle laughter. "There is as much to life as you want there to be."

Maddie gave a loud moan, and I could guess why. "What is it that I want?"

The voice gave the only answer it could. "To follow the law. To sing the praise. To hear the word. To live your fate." There was a slight pause, where I dimly registered the sound of one of the others hitting the wall of the small room. "To want no more than this is natural and normal."

"To want no more than this is natural and normal," I mumbled.

The sound of my two friends fucking loudly was distant, beautiful music to me as I stood. "To want no more than this is natural and normal," I repeated. My hand was at my breast. "To want no more than this is natural and normal." Slowly my eyes opened in the darkness. I could see Maddie's one hand tangling in Sierra's green hair as the two of them kissed ferociously, looking almost like they were struggling against one another, pressed against the wall as they were. They seemed so much like part of the background. "To want no more than this is natural and normal."

I slowly walked out of the hall and into the night, not caring about my shoes. The bathhouse was only a few short steps away. I looked up at the moon.

"To follow the law is natural and normal. To sing the praise is natural and normal. To hear the word is natural and normal. To live our fate is natural and normal. To want no more..."

My soft words seemed to echo through eternity. "To want no more than love and friendship, to want no more than community and family, to want no more than the law, the praise, the word, and the fate..."

I slipped to my knees again, dazed. The response came to me in the rush of the wind and the light of the moon. "To question all is natural and normal. To accept all is natural and normal. Some will question, some will accept. And for some, the questions will mean they cannot accept. Friends come and go, and this, too, is natural and normal. To want no more is natural and normal. To want more is also natural and normal. Discord is a part of harmony, and its resolution will tell how we move forward."

I felt an urge to crawl, but I didn't. Instead, I knelt, again for I had no idea how long, and just breathed in the air, and ran my hands over my body, in a different meditation. Finally, I asked myself, "What do I want?"

And that's when I saw. Looking up at the sky, not down to the ground. Written in the stars. I could see just one little, small piece of the tapestry, a corner of a corner of a corner of the great design.

To live our fate is natural and normal.

Kiki and I were roommates for a reason. She had grand ideas, big, amazing, magical thoughts that contributed so much to the community. She created wonder and beauty with her own hands. But creating that wonder and beauty had expanded her mind, which was itself wonderful and beautiful, but which also led to these questions that would bother her, and could trouble the rest of us.

To live our fate is natural and normal.

I was her roommate because I was supposed to help her stay focused on making wonder and beauty for the community.

I understood, then. I knew it was a losing battle, that someday she would need to explore the rest of the world, to find these answers she was looking for.

But for as long as she wanted to stay, my fate was to help her stay. My job was healing the sick and the wounded, and her heart was aching, and my job was to fix it, to bring her back towards wholeness and oneness.

And I understood that in questioning, and in sharing those questions, I had unknowingly violated my purpose.

The universe gave me no reply. I carefully got to my feet.

The bathhouse was just steps away.

I walked in. Zara was in the tub, eyes closed, smiling sweetly. Angelyne was washing her hair, as she'd done for me. She seemed about to greet me, but I held up a hand to stop her.

"Angelyne. Zara."

Zara opened her eyes. Angelyne just raised her eyebrow, curious.

"To listen and obey is..."

The effect on them was instantaneous. Both gasped and went wide-eyed, as if I'd surprised them. Angelyne's hands dropped to her sides. Zara just stared.

"Natural and normal," they said in unison, their voices dull and flat.

I repeated myself. "To listen and obey is..."

"Natural and normal."

Once more. "To listen and obey is..."

"Natural and normal."

The words seemed to come from outside me, from beyond me, almost from before me, as if they had been written generations ago and I was just reading them. "Rise to your feet, both of you." They did the moment I finished speaking. "Stand before me." The two of them moved rigidly, both wet from the bath (though Zara a lot more) and neither of them caring.

I breathed. "Angelyne, did you speak to anyone about what we discussed when I was here?"

She nodded slowly. "Zara and I were talking about it when you came in." Her voice sounded cold, almost lifeless.

My response was almost a reaction to her answer. "To put these questions aside is—"

"Natural and normal," we all said together.

"To let go of these concerns is—"

"Natural and normal."

"To forget about these troubles is—"

"Natural and normal."

I paused. I gestured, I don't know how or what I did, but the three of us continued in perfect unison.

"To follow the law is natural and normal. To sing the praise is natural and normal. To hear the word is natural and normal. To live our fate is natural and normal."

I added the revelation I'd just had. "To want no more than this is—"

"Natural and normal."

With a suddenness that was almost shocking, I was back in my own body, extremely aware of my arousal. Whatever had come over me had passed, at least partly. Zara and Angelyne still stood there, glassy-eyed. Water and soap dripped from Angelyne's arms and from all of Zara.

I wanted them.

"Joining me in the tub is..."

"Natural and normal," the two of them said stiffly, and started to turn towards the water.

I didn't understand why that made me even more aroused. And I didn't care. Being aroused by my friends was natural and normal.

I followed them. "To desire sex with each other is..."

"Natural and normal."

They were both sitting in the bath. I stepped in. "To put aside those questions and worries is—"

"Natural and normal," we all said.

I sat, carefully entangling my legs with theirs. "To wake and forget that anything unusual happened is—"

"Natural and normal."

I blinked. Angelyne was tangling her legs with mine. Zara's arms were around us, pressing us closer encouragingly. We started kissing, and kissing, and there was so much more kissing and holding and touching.

For a moment I wondered why I'd come back to the bathhouse, but putting that question aside was natural and normal. And as I sat on the edge of the tub with Zara's tongue working between my legs, I couldn't remember anything unusual happening that had led to this point. Everything just seemed so natural and normal.

As my orgasm started, I couldn't help but think of Kiki, and everything that I'd learned that I had to tell her.

Outside, the wind sounded like joyful laughter.