Entry 11.1 — Beatrix

The group project, of course, is a complete work of fiction.  I had had homework the evenings I didn’t spend with Sarah this week, so right now is the first chance I’ve really had to plan.  On Sunday, I erased Sarah’s memory of this delightful little fantasy she’s been nurturing over the last couple years.  It’s the first “scene” we will have played out, and it’s complicated enough that I want to think it all through and write out the command; when I Speak it, I can just read it and won’t need to remember everything.

This command, I realize, could go disastrously if I don’t word it just right.  Sarah could get stuck on a wall like a Doom baddie that walks directly toward its target without pathfinding.  I snort, imagining Sarah moonwalking into the corner of my bunk.  Funny, but not particularly sexy.  It just might ruin our immersion.

I pull out some paper and start mapping out the different pieces and outlining their details.  I bet there’s a computery term for this, I think.  Maybe I’ll ask Sarah.  I write and circle three terms on my paper: Mind, Mouth proximity, Synchronization.

Out to the left of Mind, I write, 

• trigger: entry through door
• forget me/us
• slow thoughts / calm
• suggestibility
• end trigger: orgasm

and add an arrow from Mind to each of them.

Next is Mouth proximity.  Two items here—“Part 1: come here” and “Part 2: fuck me”—and I list out some more ideas.  Under Part 1, I note the pathfinding problem I considered earlier.

Last is Synchronization.  This was not part of Sarah’s initial description.  It’s all mine and, to me, it’s the best part.  I get wet just thinking about it.  Midway through the notes I jot down, I notice that I’ve put my right hand under my skirt and underwear while I write with my left.  I shrug and continue.  It’ll make Sarah’s job a little easier if I’m already pent up, I think.

Thought map complete, I think through each of the bits, making sure I have at least a rough wording in my head.  I pause on “Doom baddie on corners” and give it more consideration.  The problem is, if you can’t move away from one point, a “gravity well”, so to speak—only toward it and laterally—if you go behind a wall and the gravity well is positioned poorly, going back around the wall may be impossible; it could require moving away from the target to get around the corner, especially if there is a lip.  It’s probably not an issue in my room, but there are a lot of edges to get caught on.  Plus, Sarah will probably remove her coat and then move to the side to toss it somewhere…. Yeah, this wording would be tricky.  I suppose, if she did get stuck, I could just stand up and move closer.  I immediately discard the idea: standing up could very well pull Sarah’s head through a wall or a piece of furniture.  Best that I stay seated for this.

This wouldn’t be such a big problem if the room were more spread out.  Dorm rooms are just so cramped.  Maybe I could rent a hotel room?  …  Oh!  A solution comes to me.  Mum is on a business trip to Chicago this weekend and Dad took the opportunity for a mini-holiday with his mates from uni; Claire will be at her friend’s.

I boot up my laptop and open a document editor.  For each item in my thought map outline, I write out a sentence.  Editing, rearranging, shortening, figuring out what really needs to be said versus what I can leave to my intent and imagination.  I feel like I’m drawing blueprints with words.

Hmm, I think.  This command should only stay active for as long as I have her consent—it should end right before she withdraws it so that it doesn’t hurt me or drain my battery.  She also needs to be able to use our safewords without hindrance, no matter what state of mind she’s in.  Unless, I suppose, she’s gagged.  The thought gives me a thrill.  Gags are particularly intimate, requiring a lot of additional trust that the domme is paying close enough attention to her sub that she can tell by body language and facial expression, alone, when things are getting too intense.  Then again, I think, I have an advantage with my Intensity Overload Monitor for the Discerning Telepathic Dominatrix®.  Patent pending.

These are two conditions I’d always want to be the case.  I could make a blanket command that applies to all commands—currently active and future—that apply to Sarah, but Sarah says that if I make a command that makes a new command, if I want to make changes later, it’ll be easier to “edit” all the commands at once by editing just this … command generator?  I think for a second on how to word this.

“Whenever I Speak ‘New command’, the following command … definition(?) gains these …” I think for a second, trying to guess at the proper computer sciencey term, “traits.”  I’ll have to ask Sarah what the actual word is, I think.  Any effects applied by the command last only so long as Sa– so long as the target continues to consent to them; the effects of the commands will end immediately before consent is withdrawn.  She will also be able to use any safewords we have, unburdened by the effects.  If the session isn’t ended by the safeword, such as with our OOC safeword, as soon as the discussion ends, all suspended effects will immediately be reapplied.  I consider making OOC conversations automatically speed up time for us, like I did last Sunday when Gabi knocked on the door, but discard the idea.  It’s too risky because it saps my battery so quickly, I decide.  I don’t know what happens if an effect takes more energy than my battery currently contains, and I’m not sure I want to find out.  Then again, it’s probably best that I find out with a test, only using a tiny bit more energy than I have, rather than finding out the hard way.  Another thing to ask Sarah about.  “Apply ‘new command’ to every current effect and command.” 

I add “New command” to my written notes, then, satisfied with my preparations, step back from my desk.

Finally, I Speak, reading what I’ve written.

“I am in my room at home.”  My room is much larger than my dorm room, and as all my most important things are in Bellingham, what’s left is pretty sparse.  I look down to read the next line.  Oh, right, I think with a snort.  “My commands list is in my hand.

“When Sarah next gets to my dorm room door, she will knock, and then will hear my voice say, ‘It’s unlocked.’  When she opens the door, the doorway will enter this room instead.”  I wince at the awkward wording but picture it like a seamless portal from outside my dorm to inside my Bear Creek bedroom; that should be good enough.  “The portal will stay in place until we both leave this room.

“New command: When Sarah enters my room, she will close the door.  When she does, she will immediately become girly, but will not notice the transformation.”  I’m not actually sure how that will happen given she’ll shrink twelve centimeters in an instant, but I feel the slight drain on my battery, so I trust it will work.  If it doesn’t, it hardly matters to the rest of this scene.

“After transforming and until I orgasm:

• “She will temporarily forget who I am and everything about our relationship.
• “Her thoughts will slow down, making it harder to make sense of things.
• “She will become significantly more suggestible, calmly accepting whatever I tell her to do; everything will feel right and natural to her.”

Now the fun part.  Part 1: come here.

• “She will be unable to move her lips further away from my pussy.  She can move them closer or laterally, but not away.
• “At first, she will not notice this new restriction, and once she does, it will be hard for her to make sense of it due to her languid mind.
• “She will speak her thoughts aloud, but she will not realize that she is speaking; to her, it will seem like any other thought she keeps in her head.”

This previous bullet point is one of my personal touches.  At least for now, it will be helpful—and hot—to know what’s going on in her head as scenarios unfold.  I briefly consider adding this effect to “New command” but decide against it.  Too many commands will happen in public and I don’t want her thoughts spoken aloud to everyone nearby.  I could, however, create another command-creating-command for this.  Whenever I add, I think, “with spoken thoughts” to a command…. Yeah, that should do.  I don’t Speak that bit into existence yet, as I don’t want it to accidentally be defined as part of this scenario and disappear as soon as the scenario ends.  I don’t know if it would work that way, or if I can define new commands in the middle of a command, but for now, I don’t want to find out.  Another thing to test.  I should write these down.

Oh!  I could write another command that only affects me, letting me remember things like this without writing them down.  A mental notebook I don’t need to fear losing or forgetting.

Another time, Wright.  Don’t get distracted!

Part 2: fuck me.

• “Once Sarah’s head is within 30cm (1’) of my vage, she will pull down my knickers.  This will cause her to become both nervous and excited, as she will not understand why, fruitlessly trying to resist this compulsion.  She will feel guilty for being so forward with me, but entirely unable to stop.
• “Once my knickers are off, her head will still be unable to move further away, no matter how hard she resists.  Once her tongue is in range of my slit, it will reach out and pleasure me, making her feel more guilty and apologetic.
• “She will be unable to stop pleasuring me with her tongue and fingers.”

And now for another personal touch.  “During this session,” I Speak, mentally ending the section that only applies until I’ve orgasmed, “when I Speak ‘now’, every sensation Sarah gives me she will feel applied to herself.”  I shudder picturing her feeling her own tongue in her twat.  “Her arousal will increase at the same rate as mine does, but she will be unable to cum until the moment I do, at which point we will orgasm simultaneously.  We will gradually synchronize our movements, thoughts, and sensations until we are one person.”  That last bit is a complex idea, but I think my intent is clear enough to me that it should work.  “This synchronization effect will continue until the session ends or we are both spent.”

Each sentence that leaves my mouth increases my arousal.  And the best part, I think, is that this is nothing compared to what’s coming ten minutes from now.

Beatrix
Done with my project.  Get that beautiful tush of yours over here!

Good Girl 💘
Yes, Mistress.  🫡

Dork.