Lily looked into the operating room. Her hands clenched and breathed heavily as she looked at her lover, unconscious. BEEP! The bracelet gave a yellow light as she watched, an affini walking in with their assistant. Vines moved to slowly open the bandaged nub that was her hand. BEEP! “Darling, this is clearly distressing.” The plant standing next to her, Echo something… she couldn’t remember. They were the one to arrive, to pick up Tara and extract Lily. Softly whispering words of comfort to calm her, her hand having locked itself around the gun in a fit of shock. She was now looking at Tara, having helped her recover before the operation took place. Lily would soon be on that bed herself, a part of the deal she struck.

“I have to stay.” Leaves flattened, the affini’s pseudo face looking towards the ex-rebel. “Why?” Lily clenched her hand and wondered what she should answer. Guilt? Fear? Curiosity? The first two were part of it, the third was a lie, none would pass the affini’s judgment. Instead she spoke from the heart, opening her heart for a moment. “I want to see what I traded my loyalties for.” It was a truth, she wanted to know, had to know. She needed proof that Tara’s hand was not lost, that she had made another mistake. The affini nodded, wrapping a vine around Lily’s frame. “Very well flower, I’ll be here if you need.”

Lily awoke, it was not fear or paranoia that filled her. It was a reminder, a painful stab of guilt that wracked her as she cried. She sat in the room, watching as they attached Lily’s new hand. The last mistake she made on the ship, a painful reminder that if she ever picked up a stethoscope, went into an OR or an ICU, she would fail. Her failures would haunt her, reminding her of what pain she had wrought on others.

After crying for what seemed like hours, Lily slowly got out of bed. She moved to the new prescription of xenodrugs. The mix making her body slowly relax as she lay on the couch, a message came on her datapad. She didn’t want to read it, she didn’t want to work. Another message, and then a third. Groaning, she moved to open the messaging app, noticing messages from an unexpected sender.

Seance

Hello dear, I hope you are well. Echona is currently hosting the meetup tonight, as your therapist, and friend. I would like to formally invite you to attend, mandatorily. I know that you and Jackie aren’t on the best of terms according to you, however that was quite some time ago, and they have grown from such volatile outlashes.

Lily

Look, I know you want me to reconnect with my friends again, but… I just can’t right now. I have to get ready for work and set up a regime for the assistant that will be arriving after the operation is finished. I can do it later, please.

Seance

I’m afraid to say that Echona sent out a notification telling everyone the flower shop will be closed until after the operation is finished. You’ll have plenty of time to work on your stuff tomorrow. This is an order Lily, this isn’t about making friends, you’ve been getting depressed and returned to antisocial tendencies. This will be good for you! Reform bonds, play games, cuddle Tara~

Lily

Ugh… fine, just help me escape if things go bad. I don’t want to end up in a situation in which everything crashes down, please.

Lily wanted to slam her head against the datapad. She was gonna be stuck not working for four days now. She dreaded the experience, she really didn’t have many other hobbies and the idea of aimlessly moving through the web would be torture on her mind. Even still, she considered what Seance had said. She was starting to lash out, she knew that. Thinking over the past few days reminded her an awful lot like a memory she’d like to shoot out deep into space.

Cursing the two affini, Lily made her way to dress up and plan her outfit. It took about an hour or so before she finally settled on a dress. It was the most companion dress she had, which didn’t say much, there were times where affini would grow confused at the lack of a collar around her neck with how she looked.

The dress itself was a pure white, skirt cut in a way that opened both her legs to walk in, there were no sleeves, but two bracelets tied a piece of cloth that hung from her shoulders. The vest she had on was more ornate, flowers and vines curling around, the myriad of colors making it hard for many to find a pattern or discover who she was “owned” by. It was an interesting thought, how many affini seemed to stick to two or three colors for themselves and their florets.

Finally deciding on the outfit, she let it hang as she walked in her underwear, ordering some food from her compiler. It was light, a pasta dish with pesto. She knew Echona loved cooking, and she couldn’t lie and say she hated it. Finishing her food, she moved to bathe and relax for a moment. Thinking over how to find an escape from the meeting without seeming deliberate. No, that wasn’t the right thinking, Seance and Echona were right. It was time to reconnect.

A few hours later, it was time to leave. The ship was strangely silent, affini strolling without their florets. There were many feralist florets that often found “hope” when a new fishing operation took place, hoping that they’d be saved or could escape. Foolish thoughts really, it was at this time escape was the hardest, security was upped and the florets were often kept in their hab units. It meant the park was relatively empty however, she wondered if she had time to relax for a moment, deciding she did.

The park had a spot, it was something that she would often travel to before she opened her shop. She had realized that it had been many months since then. The park was a lot more lustrous than before. There were more plants, more flowers and trees, even the air was more humid. She enjoyed it, it felt almost like a forest in a way. Taking the path which she so clearly remembered taking so many times before. She was met with a small field, a meadow of blue flowers.

Forget me nots filled the open space. There were more there now, a few of the flowers even growing into the forest as she looked at the field. There was an air of calm sadness that filled the space, she stood in it, breathed in the scent. Counting each flower, warm tears ran down her cheeks. Sadness, regret, a small coolness that filled the air. She sat in it, feeling it on her skin, failure, pain, anger. She layed in it, letting it consume her. Disconnection, ache, sorrow. She was there for 15 minutes, silent, tired, alone. Eventually she got up, looked at the small mark that her body had left, she left a moment later, feeling refreshed, aware, and ready.

The hab unit to Echona wasn’t far away. In fact, it was just a few minutes of walking to get to the hab unit, the park was a big detour. She was slightly late, she didn’t realize how long she spent in the park, but something cleansing came from it. Perhaps the dryads had helped drag some of her worries from here. Not enough though. Ringing the doorbell, she waited for but a moment as the door opened to… Elowin!? “I uhm… s-sorry I think I got the wrong hab unit. I didn’t know you lived close.”

Elowin’s shock was palpable, she had heard there was one remaining guest to the party. Her leaves flattened as she stared down at the flower shop owner. The one who grafted her vine, the vine that was in front after she showed it off to everyone else. “Beautiful…” The words came before the affini had time to think, her vines tightening as her face turned to shock. It wasn’t false, the girl in front of her looked delightful, the dress was exquisite and even the makeup made her look etheric.

“S-sorry what?” Before Elowin could open her mouth the human was already red as a tomato. “Lily!” The two’s sudden shock was cut as Tara entered and wrapped her arms around the girl. “I’m so glad you came! I was worried after last time and I just wanted to know you were alright and god you look good, that dress fits you so well, comeinsideweareallhereechonaismakingdinner!.”

The sophont was pulled into the hab unit as she looked up at the affini, shock still present on her face. Lily was greeted by her four friends and their affini, two separate tables dividing the two parties as Lily waved, it wasn’t as confident as she hoped. “Lily! OH you look so goood! You look affini ready with that outfit~” Evie teased, her tail was standing up, lightly swinging in the air. Her body had even more modifications than before, now her hands and legs were fur covered and her eyes were a deep amber, slits marking its feline feature.

“Thank you Evie, I see that the procedure went well. Love the eyes and paws.” A loud purr escaped the girl as she started to groom herself. Lily had flinched a little at the mention of “affini ready”. She always looked like that, it wasn’t her fault her style was similar to the companion dresses of florets. “I’m sure she’s just testing out what she wants to wear when she finally joins our side.”

The sound of Jackie’s voice stabbed Lily in the gut, fuck. She remembered what she had said, what she had done. “I’m sorry that my style was so nice that affini wanted to follow my example.” The retort felt forced, she hadn’t done any banter in almost months now, yet the floret gave a loud “hah” and grinned. They didn’t wear a companion dress, how characteristic of them. Instead they wore white sweatpants and a loose buttoned shirt and a crop top on. The clothing was decorated with seance’s colors. The red flowers with strikes of yellow reminding her of the jackets Jackie loved to wear. “I see your style hasn’t changed after being domesticated. I’m glad, a little break up in the monotony of dresses is always welcome.”

There was a familiar press against her arm, Tara was pushing herself against Lily. Her heart throbbed as she felt it and quickly moved away. Dammit, she looked disappointed, she felt disappointed. Regret. Sitting down on the chair, she sat next to Tara, of course they had done that. Fingers went to an arm as Lily started to type, medical records, dications, anything, she needed a distraction. “I’m glad you could join us again Lily, it has been oddly empty without you around.” Evie sounded earnest, Candy and Jackie nodded. Tara was silent as well, fiddling with an object, her cube. She kept it.

“How’s the flower shop? I heard Miss Elowin got a new graft! It had you written all over it~” Evie grinned, there was something deeper there that made Lily think she was thinking some more… illicit thoughts. The blush on Lily’s face made Evie cackle in delight. “I only grafted some flowers! I didn’t do much else.” “Yeah? Then why did you ask Elowin out?” Jackie gave a rye smirk. The teasing made Lily’s face turn even brighter shade of red, her face moving to hide against Tara’s side. Fuck, Tara squeaked in surprise. Her face tried to move, but instead she felt the girl's hand against her head. Regret.

Composing herself, she slowly moved away before sighing and looking over to Elowin, thoughts floating as she looked for the answer. “I… find her intriguing. She’s the first affini who’s called me beautiful when first looking at me. It was strange, my… chest fluttered at the compliment. I guess I wanted to know her more, should’ve known she moved in with Echona, they both told me. I didn’t think that those two matched well I guess.”

Tara nodded, Elowin looking over to the group of sophonts as they mentioned her name. It didn’t seem like she picked up on the conversation. Good, Lily would be too flustered if that were the case. Eventually Lily moved to lean against her former lover, words coming out of her mouth “I’m… sorry.” She didn’t know if it was from the xenodrugs or that part of her that still yearned. A hand, an arm, she was squeezed closer to Tara as the florets talked. Lily closed her eyes, she felt content, relieved, and relaxed. There was yet one emotion, one thought that forced her from truly enjoying the moment. Regret.