The end of the barrel was pointed right towards Lily’s head, her heart rate increasing as she felt it press up further against her. “No wonder so many of ours died under your care, if you were a spy to those fucking pl-” A boiling anger filled the medic as she cut him off with poison in her words. “Shut it, I’m sick and tired of you acting like I failed at my duties. You idiots decided to keep hurting yourself and fighting amongst each other so much that my supplies were gone before the month was due.”

The barrel was pressed further against her skull, her mind working through how to avoid any significant harm. One wrong move and she’d probably have her brains splattered across the walls before she’d see the vines of her saviors round the corner. She knew she was a traitor to humanity, she knew what she did was abhorrent and perhaps freedom was worth the fight, she had grown tired of the deaths. “You never cared for us, I’m sure all you were thinking about was being in the embrace of your overlords.”

Suddenly, the feeling of the plasgun against her head disappeared, the bright flash of a shot hitting the wall of the corridor as an all too familiar voice screamed in pain. Lily wirled to slam the soldier to the ground, her frame was smaller but she only had to pull off his mask and let the gas do its job. The man was out in a second, his last words mumbled as his eyes glazed over. She did not care for the meaning or what he even said as she turned to Tara. Her hand had been scorched off almost entirely by the shot.

Lily stood over the crying woman, her lover, her savior. She saw tears run down her cheeks through the glass of her eyes. Her mind went into triage, the hand was scorched, no bleeding at least. She moved to use the last roll of bandage, wrapping it around her stump as she hushed the sulking woman. “It’s okay Tara, you’re safe, we’re safe, I promise no more harm will come, I’ll protect you. Just sleep.” With that, Lily pulled off Tara’s mask to let the xenodrugs send her into a slumber as she placed her masked face against the forehead of her lover. Grabbing the plasgun and making sure no one else came to harm them as they waited for the affini to arrive.

Lily’s rest was rough, the Z-class xenodrugs being the only thing keeping her from waking up several times as the nightmare persisted. She woke up in a cold sweat, though managing to stay just calm enough to administer her xenodrugs before the hab unit started to alert Echona and Tara about her situation. She managed to sleep well after the meeting with Tara, in fact, she dreamt of one of the dates they had before their ship rebelled. This time, she was reminded of her failures in their plan to both arrive unscathed from the extraction.

It didn’t matter, yesterday showed no signs of Elowin returning to the shop. She wondered what the affini worked as, many of the customers apparently talking about how excited they were to have Elowin on their ship. It was strange to listen to them talk so reverently about someone who Lily had the privilege of grafting. Even still, Elowin did not arrive that day, and today was her appointment for her therapist. She dreaded these days, as much as Seance was an enjoyable person to talk to, the discussion would be recorded and added to the list of reports for her review.

Sighing and stretching, she moved to make herself breakfast. A proper one at that, she didn’t want Seance to comment on her seeming malnutritioned, as was often the case with the affini. She couldn’t outright refuse their statement either, she had been skipping her lunches due to work, and would often forget to eat dinner as well if she was too preoccupied.

Sighing, she ordered some raw bacon and eggs from the compiler along with a few slices of bread to make her breakfast. She enjoyed cooking herself, and the compiler would often make the food… too perfect for her tastes. Plus it was a good way to set her thoughts in order for when she was gonna have her appointment. The bacon a little crispier than most would like, and her eggs at a nice over medium, she sat down at the table to eat, while she listened to the affini news on the most recent events.

The English speaking sources often hid many details or events. Discussion of rebel activity and possible disconcerting pieces of news was distressing to florets and sophonts and thus - to avoid harm - a lot of news was censored. Lily had spent her time with the affini learning their language, and she often used their broadcasts as practice to learn new words or expressions. Today’s news was rather grim compared to the other days.

Apparently a rebel fleet was prowling the nearby area, the Athelum and other local affini ships were getting ready to conduct a “fishing operation”, much akin to how Tara and Lily were extracted. There were often warnings around this time for affini, being told to keep their florets in their hab units until a few days after the operation was concluded, to minimize the threat posed to them by potential feralist escapees.

Lily turned off the broadcast, writing down a few words that she couldn’t quite place before putting on a large sweater and some comfortable, baggy pants. She didn’t want to wear a dress, talks with her therapist involved her being in something comfortable and safe as to help her ease into conversations pertaining to difficult areas.

The walk to the office wasn’t too bad, she had time to kill and she didn’t want to spend a lot of time in the waiting room, surrounded by affini and their florets. So instead she walked the 2 kilometers to the vet, making sure to talk through the parks that were strewn across the habitation ring. The peaceful atmosphere helped bring her to ease as she made her way to the therapist waiting room. There was, as she expected, many affini and florets. Many of them cuddled into their mistresses for comfort as they were going through difficult conversation. There was a pang of… something, Lily didn’t want to admit to herself what it truly was.

Seance arrived at the waiting room a few minutes later, saying goodbye to a male floret, his blue hair ending in purple tips as he walked to his affini, embracing the similarly colored caretaker. With the patient returned, Seance looked to Lily before announcing, “Lily Aveler, you may come in.” Lily soon got to her feet and joined the affini into the hallway and towards their office.

Seance was an interesting affini, they reminded Lily of a poppy flower, a deep red thicket of vines that was broken by small lines of yellow. They were one of the “looser” affini, their shape being liberal with the idea of a humanoid shape. They were wider than most and only had their face and legs look somewhat human. Their torso was more a mass of vines and tendrils, their “hands” being simply vines wrapping around into 5 digits.

“I saw your eyes have changed, they look very cute, almost like a small affini in a way.” Seance didn’t look back as they commented on Lily’s eyes, they probably noticed as they looked towards her. “Thank you, I find them quite pleasing to myself. Affini might not be quite the word… though it is in reference to a terran tale that includes sentient plants.” Seance nodded, opening the door to the office and letting the human enter. “I’ve found it quite… enjoyable to listen to your symbolisms. They give a great insight into your psyche.” Lily did not know if Seance referenced her as an individual or terrans as a whole, perhaps a mix of both.

Sitting down on the chair that was most comfortable for her, she let herself relax as she waited for Seance to find the correct paperwork. “How is Jackie?” The plant made a sound akin to noticing they were referred to before smiling. “Hm? Oh, she’s been doing quite well. Starting to get back into music now, it’s lovely to see her find therapeutic value in such activities. You should come to one of our weekly meetups, I’m sure she’d love to perform something.”

Lily shuffled in her seat and sighed, her chest tightening slightly before she managed to croak out. “I’m not entirely sure I’m welcome there anymore Miss Seance, I’ve been quite efficient in burning bridges.” She felt the piercing gaze of Seance, her file having been found, pages upon pages showing years of therapy and prescriptions. It wasn’t the biggest file, nor was it the smallest. Plus, she enjoyed the idea of everyone’s medical history being logged in such an effective way.

“That is not the thinking that we’ve been practicing on Lily, you’ve been lapsing recently. Last time you came here I also had to up your dosages due to “stress from work”. The fact that you’re self deprecating is also a sign that this dosage is not sufficient.”, “What makes you say that?” Lily asked, knowing full well the answer, it was fully displayed to her. “You think I don’t see the signs of you having used the xenodrugs? Your history also shows a daily intake of class-Z xenodrugs, something which is a sign of you having night terrors.”

Read like an open book, nothing got past her. “I… keep returning to Free Neptuna, the day of its capture by you.” Seance nodded and smiled, settling down and finding some pen to write in a form. “And how long has this been occuring? According to the history you’ve started ordering the Z-class xenodrugs last week.” Lily shook her head, wrapping her arms around her knees as she shook, trying to push the events from her head. “A few days after our last session… I thought they were just the occasional nightmare, but they’ve started happening more and more. Not just that day, also the times I’ve failed, the fights I’ve had, the people I’ve lost.”

The room turned silent save the affini’s writing on the form. “I’m assuming you haven’t told Echona.” Lily scoffed and gave a soft chuckle. “She found out anyway, I’ve had panic attacks from a few of them. The ones where I don’t manage to inject myself in time and I’m sitting as a miserable pile of guilt and shame on the floor.” They made a noise that Lily recognized as judging. More self deprecation. “It sits on my file by now. I have a month left of freedom and then, if I can’t find an affini, someone will find one for me. So it doesn’t really matter what I say now, I’m already bound.” She gritted her teeth as the floodgates of emotions opened.

“These past few years have grown from the most wonderful time of my life, to an absolute nightmare. My friends are leaving me, all of them domesticated without a care in the world for me as I try my best to function alone.”, “That’s not entirely true, your friends do care about yo-” Lily’s anger boiled in her, the snapping words of a cornered animal seeping out of her. “You damn well know they’re disappearing! You were there when Jackie told me she never wants to see me again!” The hot anger turned to cold shame as she was met with the dark gaze of her therapist. She hadn’t even realized she was standing. “Jackie has been asking about you, the events that transpired at that time were at the start of the domestication, in which you showed considerable contempt towards. They’ve all been worried for you, Tara especially, she’s wondering why you left you know.”

“I left because I’m no longer needed. I left because she will never remember the time we spent together before the rebellion and during. I can’t even talk about it to her, I’m her past. It’s better that I disappear with it.” Seance wrote some more, wringing all of Lily’s emotions out like a rag as more and more questions piled atop one another. Once the session was finished, Seance had prescribed her with a higher dose of Ds and Fs, they wanted to give her Es as well, but it was quickly shut down as Lily pointed out it would lead to a higher chance of accidents when grafting.

Returning back to her hab, she walked towards one of the gardens and sat on a bench, softly sighing. Her emotions spent, she sat in peace and quiet, for a moment listening to the sounds of the “night”. Eventually she stood once more, returning to her hab, she didn’t even bother undressing as she took her xenodrugs and fell asleep.