The ship slowly filled with the strange gas, the scent pleasingly floral to the medic’s nostrils as she reached for the gasmask. Moving back to their utensils she Calm and collected as they heard their commander shout behind them. “Dammit! They’ve already boarded, grab a gun and be a useful soldier fo-” The commander’s words were cut short as the sharp sting of a syringe filled his thigh with the cool grasp of anesthetics. “Y-you… you’re the traii…” Slumping to the ground, the commander attempts to reach for his gun, his hand easily shoved away from him as darkness soon creeps around his vision. “Y-you will never…”

Aveler stood above the now sleeping form of her commander. Sighing as she pulled the gun away from his hand as she quickly pulls off his mask, rushing to the corridor. The silence was deafening compared to the chaos just a few moments ago. The occasional order or shout escaping, a few screams as shots fire wildly. She just had to reach the brig now, meeting with Tara before she took off her- she felt the barrel of a plasma gun against her head. Freezing as her eyes widened. “I always knew you were a plantfucker.”

Aveler rose before the alarm filled the room with the forest tones of birds chirping. The sound of fire, screams, the feeling of a barrel to her head. She had to escape, she needed to run. Quickly getting up, she yelped as she tangled herself in the sheets of the bed, letting out a soft thud as the sound of her breathing echoed in the silent room. She couldn’t breath, she needed to run. “Warning! Heightened levels of anxiety and panic detected, contacting emergency con-” The hab unit started to state before Lily quickly shouted. “No hab! I-I’m fine… I need some time.”

Laying on the floor, tangled in the sheets of her bed, Lily slowly centered herself. She wasn’t in that damned coffin, she was free now, she was safe. A notification flashed on her datapad as a message from her friend popped up.

Tara

“Hey Lily? Are you okay? Mistress received a message that you were having a panic attack. Do you need us to come over?”

Lily bit her lip as she read, of course the hab unit disobeyed her order, it always did. She didn’t want them to notice this, it didn’t help her case.

Lily

“I’m fine! I had a nightmare and got a little stressed out. I’m meeting Candy today anyway, I don’t wanna cancel that.”

Tara

“A nightmare? Again? Lily, you really sure we shouldn’t come over? Mistress has been getting concerned and I don’t like how you’ve been regressing.”

Lily

“Later Tara, maybe after my shift tomorrow. I’ll close up shop earlier and then we can meet. I’ve just been having some stressful days, I’m fine, I promise.”

Lily sighed, placing the data pad back, the message of an affirmative being the last thing she read before she stood up. She felt like she was gonna puke, her stomach turning into knots as she walked with shaky legs towards her nightstand. The shelf contained a vial of xeondrugs that she quickly shoved into her leg. The feeling of coolness running through her body. Her thoughts become less jumbled, harsh words slowly disappearing as her body calms. Sitting on the bed again, she slowly lets the feeling of her relaxing body take hold of her before she slowly stands once more.

Lily wasn’t feeling the date anymore, she knew Tara would tell Candy. She knew that no matter what, she’d have the same conversation. She was growing tired, weary, and frustrated. Even still, she put on some clothes. She could choose the dresses, they looked too much like companion dresses and knowing Candy’s mistress, she'd probably be teased about it. “I need something loose, if I’m going shopping later…” She slowly picked her outfit, a white blouse contrasted with a black shirt underneath, a purple skirt reaching down to her knees, her legs bare to finish the look. “That doesn’t look too… floral, I hope” Sighing she slowly went to apply some finishing touches before she heads to the cafe.

The cafe was quiet today. Perhaps because she arrived so early. She still felt stressed, even after the xenodrugs helped cull the worst of her anxiety. It was getting worse, and that was the most frustrating thing. She couldn’t bring herself to deny that the past week was being rough. She spent longer and longer at her shop, not taking time for herself. She takes a sip of her tea, coffee wouldn’t be a smart option today, she wanted to drink something, not be constantly running around.

A while later Candy arrives with her mistress guiding her along. The dress she was wearing made Lily blush with the translucent material. It was barely white, the red and blue hues of her mistress vining down her collar and shoulder as she bounced into the cafe, grinning as she noticed her friend. “Lily! It’s so wonderful to see you! It’s been so long, and your eyes! They really suit you. I love how… flowery you are now!” Lily smiled and hugged candy, noticing the slight squirm under her touch as the girl's class A drugs sent a rush of euphoria down her spine. Her mistress wrapped her vines around the girl's side for more stimulation.

“It’s lovely to see you too Candy, and you as well miss Merana. You look stunning with those grafts.” The leaves on the affini rustled as her new grafts of blue flowers lined where her collar bone would be. Her smile is genuine and warm towards the independent human. “Thank you petal! Your eyes look cute as well, it suits a pretty flower like you very well!” Lily blushed a little at the compliment before nodding a thanks and sitting back down. Candy quickly joins as she nestles against Merana, the latter ordering drinks and snacks for the both of them. “So, how have you been! I rarely get to see you, what with how much work you’ve been doing.”

Lily gave a guilty smile as she looked down at the cup in her hand. “Sorry, work has been a lot and it’s gotten more and more popular as people started talking about it. The amount of paperwork is exhausting.” She lets her head drop against the table, cushioned by her arms as she starts to twirl the spoon in the cup. “I haven’t gotten much free time and when I do, people keep canceling on me… it’s frustrating.” Candy shakes her head before laying a hand on the girl’s hair, her fingers softly playing with the pink strands as Lily closes her eyes, enjoying the little contact for all it was. “You it’s not like you don’t have free time, it’s that you’re not allowing yourself any. You’re returning to old habit Lils. Maybe it’s time you consi-”, “No.” Candy shudders at the harshness of her friend’s voice, her hand retreating as Lily softly curses herself.

“I don’t want to hear it, Tara and Evie are already on my ass about it. Jackie stopped talking to me almost outright, telling me she doesn’t want to see me in “such pain”, and the others are one step closer to following them every day.” Biting her lip, she takes another sip of her tea, straightening slightly before softening. “I already know, it’s inevitable at this point. My check ups are starting to become more frequent again, and I got some messages from Echona about possible caretakers. She even suggested making me Tara's connivent.” Candy sighed, leaning into the caring vines that her mistress softly draped on the girl as she watched the distress on Lily’s face.

“We all want what is best for you, and you did a good run! Honestly, after Tara domesticated, we thought you’d be the next to go. However you have to let that stubbornness stop soon. You’re shoving yourself back into your work and I just won’t let you do that!” Lily hissed, exhaling the frustration from how true her friend was. Still, she just couldn’t. “I… I don’t want to be treated like a pet, I don’t want to be ordered around or called adorable after every action I commit. Even Miss Echona is still as painfully drippy as the others. None of them feel right, I can’t trust them.” Candy shook her head at Lily’s words, an exasperated sigh escaping her before looking to Marena. “Perhaps you should look for that special affini yourself, petal. I’m sure if you told them that you’re looking for someone who fits you, they might be more lenient.”

Lily nodded, thinking over any affini she’s met that comes even close. Her mind strangely moved to the affini in the flower shop, she didn’t even talk to that one. She soon realized part of her wanted to open the shop to get the ability to meet the stranger one more time. “I’ll think about it. Right now I don’t know of anyone who would really fit. As much as I know the “system works”, there’s still that part of me that simply can’t fully believe that.” Candy nodded, smiling as their drinks arrived. Merana petted the floret as the drinks were delivered. Taking a sip herself she gave a delighted squeak at the sweet, tartness of the drink.

“Tara sent me a message before we arrived. She asked me if it was true that you were gonna meet me today. Anything happen?” Lily groaned, she knew this was gonna happen. “She didn’t believe in me? Is my reputation with you guys so bad, you can’t even trust me when I say I have plans?” Candy sighed, stirring her drink with her straw, the pink strawberry and lemon juice swirling around. “No Lily, it’s just, yes. It is in a way. Tara loves you and wants to know if you’re okay. She hasn’t visited in weeks.”

Lily interjects. “I’ve invited her several times, she’s the one that says she’s busy.” Candy shakes her head and looks at the pink haired girl. “You haven’t messaged her in days now, and when you do, it’s always because she notices you’re in distress. She wants her-” Lily clenched her fist, a well of emotions ripping at her as a wound is reopened. “She’s only concerned because she keeps getting messages about my nightmares. I can ask Miss Echona to remove herself from the contacts.”

Candy lets out a distressed whine. “That’s not gonna help, she still loves you Lily. Don’t forget you were the one who broke up with her.” Lily grits her teeth. “I know… I still feel like a fool for doing so.” Candy nodded, glad to see some of the fire in her friend smolder. “I… think we’re gonna skip the shopping part dear. You don’t seem in the right headspace for me to compliment you on your beautiful looks.” As if on cue, Lily snorts and mutters. “I’m not.” Candy giggled slightly before moving to kiss her friend on the forehead. “She doesn’t want to let go of you, you know that right?” Lily knew, she knew all too well. It was why she couldn’t let herself be close to Tara, not right now.

The rest of the time was spent in a comfortable silence, some small talk breaking it before it became too unbearable and ending almost as quickly as it started. Once Candy and Merana finished their drinks, they gave their leave. The girl was carried into the embrace of her mistress as a leash looped around her collar. Both left the cafe, leaving Lily alone for a few minutes before she too left for her hab unit.

Returning to the hab unit, Lily sighed as she went to brush her teeth. Looking into the mirror, she could only see the grizzled appearance of her old life. Sunken eyes, hollow and without any true spark of life. She had to extinguish that a long time ago. Sighing, she slowly moved to the bedroom, undressing and taking her vial. Trying to let the darkness claim here as she prayed for no nightmares.