I awoke in a cold sweat as my alarm on my phone rang out. I shut it off as quickly as I could, and Julie shifted around in the bunk above mine. Sorry, I keep forgetting to put it on vibrate only! I’m not used to having a night owl as a roomie! I checked the time: Wednesday, 7 A.M. I quickly shed my now sweat-soaked night clothes, hopped through a five minute shower, applied my makeup, and rushed out the door to my classes.

For my first couple classes, I’m anxious. They’re not hard classes or anything, and we’re not far enough into the semester for any tests. No, I’m anxious because later today is sociology lecture. And that means… I have to confront Jas. A pit’s forming in my stomach, and I’m utterly mortified by the prospect.

Maybe it was all just a really hot dream, and I have nothing to worry about! Maybe that whole group project doesn’t exist, and neither does Jas!!! Maybe what happened with Amber didn’t actually happen either!!!!! Man, that would be SO fucking nice if that were true!

I mean, it can’t be, because I have Amber’s and Jas’ texts, but, like, a girl can dream! 

And so the hours kept passing. And surprisingly fast, too, much to my dismay. 11:20 came, and my chemistry lecture let out. I made my way across campus to the lecture hall for sociology, and sat down in my usual seat with five minutes to spare. God, why did I sit here, I scolded myself as I opened my laptop, now she’s guaranteed to find me! I wish I could skip this class, but I really need to catch up and pay attention since last time… y’know…

A few more agonizing minutes passed, and as more people trickled into the hall I finally spotted her long blonde hair making its way up to the seat next to me. Okay, play it cool, play it cool! Act like nothing happened!

I pretended to be typing something on my laptop, when she finally walked over to me. 

“Hey Vio…let…” Her voice went from cheery to trailing off in mere moments. I cautiously looked up at her, and noticed her staring wide-eyed and mouth agape. And no, not at my eyes, those are about 30 degrees north of what she’s currently drooling over.

Fuck. Shit. Shit! FUCK! I totally forgot about that! Think of something, fast!

“Um, uh, when I snap my fingers you won’t be hypnotized by me until class is over!” I blurt out, in a voice I really hope wasn’t too loud. “A-And you won’t remember being hypnotized right now!” 

I snapped my fingers near her face, and she blinked before shaking her head to wake up. “Hey Violet, sorry about that!” Jas said, cheery but embarrassed. “I was, uhhh… distracted? Mostly because, uh, your, your sleep thing really helped! I slept like a baby last night!” She gave me a nice big smile, trying to play off and hide the fact she had to rip her eyes away from my shirt at every possible opportunity. 

I mentally breathed a small sigh of relief. “That’s, that’s great! I’m glad t-to hear!” I beamed her a smile back, which I really hope didn’t convey the overwhelming nervousness I felt. God, we both SUCK at this, huh?

Before I could really say anything else, the professor hooked up her microphone and gave it a quick test to signal class starting. Jasmine pulled out her tablet with her electronic notes, and I did the same on my laptop. Class wasn’t all that interesting, as most of these lectures were, but I could just feel her eyes boring into me. Or rather, my chest. Every time I glanced to my side, Jasmine would try her best to look innocuous, but a couple of times I caught her staring and she’d try her best to just play it off by looking around the lecture hall or averting her gaze for a moment. It’s actually kind of cute seeing her this completely enamored with me… wait, no! Stop it! Bad me! Focus on the lecture, maybe its dryness will rub off on me!

…Pleeeaaase, let it rub off on me. Especially down there, where it could really use a mop and some ice.

And before I knew it, class was over. Well, now or never. I looked to my side, and Jasmine was hurriedly packing her things away. “Hey Jas, do you have time today to talk some more?”

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry, I uh, I-I have a meeting. With my advisor! She’s on the other side of campus, y-y’know, gotta skedaddle!” She said, flinging her eyes in every direction to avoid looking even slightly my way. 

“Jas-”

“I’m sorry, maybe, later t-today would work better? I-”

…

I took a deep breath in. “Jasmine, look at me.” I commanded, mustering as much authority and confidence as I could.

It seemed to work, as she froze up then finally looked me in the eyes. Her face was smitten with panic, fear, and anxiety. “I’m sorry, I-”

“Down here.” I motioned down towards my chest.

Her eyes followed my hands, and then went wide as saucers as they locked on. The color drained from her face, and her jaw dropped again. “Huh? What, I-I… no, I, I-I shouldn’t-”

“You should.” 

Her face went from shock to confusion. “I- whuh? Huh? I… should?”

“You should. It feels so natural to stare, so calming, so relaxing, doesn’t it?”

“But… B-But I…”

“You don’t need to worry about anything. The only thing you need to do is stare and relax. Repeat after me, stare and relax.”

“S-stare and… relax?…”

“Good girl, keep repeating those words, over and over for me, feeling yourself relax deeper each time you do.”

Her eyes softened as she slowly started to comply. “Stare… and relax… stare… and relax…”

I took note of my surroundings. Most people have left already and the few still left are either talking with the professor, or are too far away and don’t seem to care about us. 

“When I snap my fingers, you will fall into a deep state of hypnosis, just like you did the other night, but your eyes will remain wide open. You’ll listen to me very intently, and follow my words as I guide you deeper into relaxation. Nod if you understand.”

She nodded slowly. “… stare and relax… stare and relax…” 

I snapped my fingers, and her body immediately relaxed. She remained sitting upright, still staring at my tits and repeating that phrase, but I could visibly see all the tension exit her body the moment it happened. 

“You may stop repeating that, and I need you to listen closely. The moment I get up from my chair, you are going to grab the rest of your stuff and follow me. You will not stare at my chest along the way, and you will act completely natural, as if you weren’t hypnotized. If I ask you any questions, you will answer them truthfully. Do you understand?”

“Yeah.” Her reply was monotone, her breathing deep and steady.

I grabbed my stuff and got up, as did Jasmine. As soon as we got outside, I grabbed her hand to keep her close. A few people thinking we’re gay lovers is a low price given the situation, I thought sarcastically. “Jas, do you actually have an appointment with your advisor?”

“…No.” Her face was neutral as she said it, and standing this close I could see the vacancy in her eyes.

I figured. “Is your roommate back?” 

“Yeah, but she’s in classes until 3.”

“And your schedule for the rest of the day?”

“Free.”

“I want you to take me to your dorm.”

“Okay.”

After greeting the person at the front desk and taking the elevator up, we arrived at her room. As the door closed behind us, I looked back to see Jasmine standing there, gazing off into space with a dopey, sleepy look on her face. The nerves finally started to set in, and I could feel my hands shaking from the adrenaline. I tried to swallow - a far more strenuous task given how parched I was now - and ordered her to sit on her bunk. She clumsily drug her feet over to the bed and plopped herself down on it while I fished out my water bottle and took a few big swigs. After taking a second to breathe and calm myself down, I pulled the plastic office chair out from their small work desk and sat in front of the bed. As I entered her field of view, her gaze immediately went straight to my chest.

“Good girl, so utterly fascinated with my breasts, so enamored with my tits. Now, I want you to be completely honest with me: why did you act the way you did after class?”

I could see a pang of emotion cross her face as she responded, but it faded almost immediately. “I was… scared. Something was off… I needed fresh air. I couldn’t stop staring, for some reason…”

“But it felt so natural, so right, so wonderful to stare, didn’t it?”

Her eyebrows turned up in confusion. “Y-yes, but… b-but I, I never… I-I’m not…”

Wait… “Jasmine, are you straight?”

“…Yes?”

If I wasn’t already mentally punching myself in the gut before, I certainly am now.

“…You hesitated. Why?”

“I’ve never… looked at girls like that… but suddenly… your boobs are the most… beautiful, perfect things I’ve seen… and, I don’t know why?…”

“Well, you’re in college. Plenty of people come out while they’re in college.”

“Sure, but… I don’t know… it doesn’t… seem right?…”

Huh, looks like she needs a little push.

“Well, let’s break this down logically. You’re a CS major, so you should be used to logic systems, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Great! Let’s start with this query: what action are you currently doing?”

“Staring… relaxing…”

“That’s right, you’re staring at my hypnotic tits, which make you feel so wonderful, so relaxed, so safe. Now, as I’m sure you know from experience, which gender is more likely to perform that action?”

Her face scrunches up slightly in disgust. “Guys.”

“Correct! But, there’s also another group of people that tend to do that, which are not men. What are they called?”

“… Lesbians?”

“…Sure, let’s roll with that! Let’s define the variable ‘lesbian’ as ‘a female who takes interest in other females’, alright?”

“…‘kay.”

“Now, you would say that you align with the variables ‘female’ and ‘straight’, yes?”

“Yeah.”

“But you realized there’s something wrong with that statement, based on the first query, didn’t you?”

“It’s a… contradiction…”

“Exactly! And you’re trying to figure out where exactly the contradiction lies, so you can debug it to get your program running, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So, let’s check the connections. Is the action ‘staring at tits’ inherently in conflict with the ‘female’ variable?”

“No… because of… ‘lesbian’…”

“Alright, then what about ‘straight’?”

Her eyebrows narrowed. “Yes.”

“Good, so now we know the problem lies with the variable ‘straight’. The easy solution would be to redefine the variable in a way that doesn’t cause this conflict, right?”

“That’s… one way…”

“But actually, you realize that you already have a variable defined that fits perfectly with your criteria! Which variable is that?”

“…’Lesbian’?”

“Correct! And the more you think about it, the more sense it makes: not only are you ‘female’, but the action ‘staring at tits’ is something that fits within the parameters of ‘taking interest in other females’! Thus, replacing ‘straight’ with ‘lesbian’ would be a simple and easy way to fix the code, right?”

I could practically see the gears turning behind those glassy eyes as she contemplated my solution. “I guess… it would…”

“Then I want you to try replacing that variable real quick, and when I snap my fingers you’ll run the program.” I watch in awe as she automatically lifts her arms up onto her lap, then begins tapping away at an invisible keyboard on her thighs. “Good girl, changing out that variable in your code just like that. You’ll be amazed at how well the program will run now that you’ve switched out that variable: no more conflicts, no errors, nothing! You’ll find the variable ‘lesbian’ becomes completely engraved into your being, as you run the program now.” I said as I snapped my fingers. 

“It all makes sense now, the reason you were - and still are - staring at my chest is because you’re a lesbian! The more you inspect this new code, the more right it seems, the more correct it seems, the more natural it seems. It feels so right to call yourself a lesbian, that anything else just wouldn’t seem right. It took you until now to realize it, but all the bugs in your programming have been worked out, haven’t they?”

“Yeah, it’s… working perfectly!…” A dreamy smile floated onto her face.

“Good girl! Now, I’m going to count to 5, and when I reach 5 you’re going to awaken from your trance. You will not remember me hypnotizing you after class: instead, you’ll remember inviting me over to your room to discuss this newfound obsession. You’ll believe that we talked it over, and through the course of the conversation I was able to convince you, naturally, that you’re actually a lesbian. Do you understand?”

“Yeah…”

I counted to 5, and Jasmine blinked a couple times as she regained awareness.

“See, I told you you’re a lesbian!” I said enthusiastically, to help sell the narrative.

“Yeah, I… I guess you’re right!” She returned a very embarrassed smile to me, somehow pulling her eyes off my tits in the process. “I guess I really just didn’t realize it until you walked me through it. Thank you!”

“Hey, no problem! As a certified Lesbian™ who’s gone through it myself, I’m used to helping people finally discover this aspect of themselves! Plus, it turns out you’re a titty-lover just like me!”

Jasmine goes beet red at the comment, and I see her eyes instantly flick over and stick to my breasts for a moment. “I mean, I-”

“Hey, it’s fine! No judgment here! I don’t think my tits are anything to ride home about personally, but if you want to sneak peeks at them I won’t say no.” I give her a seductive wink, and she manages to turn an even deeper shade of red.

“S-Sorry about earlier, I-I-I’ll try and keep m-myself in check!” She stammers, somehow managing to break her eyes away from my chest long enough to say that.

“Well, since we’re alone you don’t need to hold back…” I say, pulling my shirt down enticingly. “It is just us girls here after all…”

She turns a shade of red I didn’t even know was humanly possible. I could practically see the steam coming out of her ears, as she got overwhelmed with all these new feelings. 

“I-I-I’m good, really! I-I’m still new to all t-this, I need to, to adjust before I, before I try any of t-that s-stuff!” She tears her eyes away from my cleavage with some effort, and turns her head to look out the window instead. 

“Alright, just let me know if you change your mind, then.” I pulled my shirt back up, and Jasmine breathed a sigh of relief. Shouldn’t push my luck, considering how far I’ve already pushed it today. “By the way, when did you say your roomie was done with classes?” 

She grabbed her phone out of her purse. “Oh, she should be done in… 20 minutes? We’ve been talking for over two hours? How?! Did we even eat lunch?!”

And right on cue, the sound of growling stomachs filled the small dorm room. “…I guess we didn’t! Well, we had more important things to discuss, anyway. Wanna grab a bite to eat real quick? My treat, since you’re still working through it.” I offered.

“Oh, uh, sure! The food court isn’t too crowded this time of day, I like going there to study.”

And with that, we grabbed our things and left.

…

And as we walked to the food court, making small talk about my experiences with myself and friends coming out along the way, a wave of disbelief washed over me. Not just at the fact that I changed her sexuality. Not just at the fact I made her obsessed with my tits. Not just at the fact that she actually believes we just talked it over, and had this earth-shattering revelation naturally.

No, I’m in disbelief that I let myself do it again. I let myself brainwash someone again. And this time… I don’t feel the same nagging sense of despair. There’s no violently strong urge to throw myself over a toilet seat and begin hurling. There’s still lust, in spades now more than ever. But as I think about what happened, the anxiety I feel about committing these atrocities is… dulled, compared to how I felt with Amber. 

I realized what’s happening, and that thought fills me with complete and utter despair.