Deianira squirmed uncomfortably, barely perceptibly, secured face-down to the surgical bed by inexorable cargo restraints. The straps held her by the neck, her biceps and forearms, her thighs and calves, her wrists and ankles. But this wasn’t a surgery.

After the fateful sparring match where Deianira had nearly met her end, Cadmia had immediately set about ordering the removal of the Termination Collar from her maid’s neck. But it wouldn’t be that simple.
The construction and design of the Termination Collar was built primarily with the intent to be entirely tamper-proof, and had no mechanism for opening or unhinging. Removal without an explosion was only possible through disassembly, and even then there were numerous circuits in place in order to trigger the detonation of the collar’s shaped charge should it be incorrectly removed.
A design feature insisted upon by Cadmia. Before the incident.

The door to the room opened and a pair of soldiers piloting Harmonia-pattern mechanised bipedal armour – Machine Actuated Combat Hulls – entered the room and began erecting blast walls around the surgery bed. The strength and bulk of these heavily armoured combat units, easily thrice the size of a human in all dimensions, were taking entirely unnecessary precautions.
The charge in her collar, though potent, would only have enough concussive energy to turn her own head into a meaty paste. But she supposed if these ordnance disposal soldiers were fiddling with it, they’d at least want something to keep themselves from getting hurt. Not that she’d get anything like that of course. There could be no accounting for her safety in this procedure.

Once the soldiers in the MACH suits finished securing the area, they stood in silence between each other, observing Deianira and sometimes gesturing with their mechanised arms – towards her or between one another.
They were conversing she was sure, but due to the hermetically sealed hull and the internal communication arrays she’d never be able to tell what they were saying until they flicked on the external speakers, and a sudden static hiss pricking at her ears informed her that was now the case.

‘Alright, we’re about to begin removing the device,’ one of the MACH suits crackled, its articulated hand retracting, quickly replaced with a fine array of EOD tools, ‘Remain still,’ it ordered her.

‘Let’s just get this over and done with. I didn’t think I’d be taking a bomb collar off some mob doll today,’ the other grumbled as it moved into position to assist, ‘This thing gives me the creeps. Why’d they make it look so much like a person?’

Deianira’s face burned with impotent emotion as she balled her fists in their bonds. Of course she wasn’t a person to these people. Lower than an animal, even if she was far more intelligent than they knew. Maybe things would have been better if she had stayed in her ~ / M̴͉̌ḯ̸̱̘ͅs̷̬͈͇͋͠t̷̢̋͆̈́ŗ̸͇̫͆̔͂é̶̖̳͉s̴͉̋s̷̨̝̣̋̎'̵͖̯̀͠ / ~ good graces. Things would have been so much better had Deianira just swallowed her foolish pride and begged Her not to send her away to Mars.

'Scrag the chatter. Get this done and we get ten years off both our tours.’

Deianira knew that for the S-Class soldiers of the Minos PMC, even speaking about their tour duration was a punishable offence. The only reason these soldiers were speaking so freely was that they had just assumed that Deianira was just what they thought she was. A thoughtless toy whose memory extended as far as parroting pre-programmed dirty talk to the one currently fucking it.
She supposed they were right. That’s essentially what she was supposed to be to them, though she was nothing like the mass-produced lobotomised slave-things manufactured within the underbelly of Mars. She was a Doll. It’s just that it could have been something that once did bring her a sense of belonging and happiness. Comfort and warmth. Back on Jupiter.

Deianira heard the whirring of delicate machinery as the MACH suits began disassembling the outer shell of the Termination Collar. Carefully, so carefully, with agonisingly deliberate movements the EOD tools skittered across redundant circuitry and a complex maze of wires around the ring of potent liquid explosive which encircled her neck. All she had to do was keep calm. This would be over soon. After that, she could go back.
Just … not back home.
Back to Cadmia.

Water dripped drop by drop in my bath as I stared at the ceiling, my state of being strained and strange.

I had put a bomb around someone’s neck. The one person who actually wanted to serve me. Who might not be totally terrified of me.
And yet even of that I wasn't completely sure.

I sunk my head beneath the water of my bath, in some childish part of my mind rendering me invisible to the world around me. I loved that feeling of being submerged, of slipping underwater. Seeing the bubbles drifting lazily from my mouth to the surface. The world was suddenly so far away, so distant. It was just me.

But now I was truly starting to see just how ugly I was. What terrible company I could be.
The appearance of my own teeth aside, I couldn’t begin to think of why I had done the things I did to Deianira before the explosion that obliterated my brain.
Could it be that something about me had been inherently broken before now? That I was just violent, vile, dangerous? That couldn’t be right. I was of House Harmonia. I was meant to be Perfect.
What if I was still like that?

Perhaps I was supposed to be like that? That to be so cruel was who I was always meant to be. Maybe it was the only way I could survive. Mother truly seemed to think that cruelty was to impose one’s strength on the weak. Only the Strong deserve a place in House Harmonia, after all.
So why am I so disgusted by that thought?

I began to feel the air tightening in my lungs as my hand snaked up the front of my chest. My nails inched closer to my neck. I wondered what it was like, to wear that collar I had forced upon Deianira.
My fingers brushed against my collarbone.

I could hold my breath no longer and forced myself to the surface, suppressing a cough before drawing breath again. It was as my eyes began to clear that I heard the familiar snapping footsteps of Mother approaching, too close. Too fast.
She was already in my bathroom before I had even brought a towel to cover myself.

‘Mother! I … are you feeling better?’

Mother scoffed, ‘I was never ill. That fool doll of yours misinterpreted me,’ her piercing eyes settled on mine again, ‘You weren’t at your lessons yesterday. Where were you?’

I felt something like my hackles rising as I responded, ‘I had been sparring with Deianira. She said you were taking the day off.’

‘Of course, your … antiquated hobbies,’ Mother sniffed, ‘Regardless of what anyone else said or did, you should have been at your studies. I’ll expect you to make up for this.’

I mentally sagged. The mere thought of another pile of battle reports or logistical databases to sift through drained me of all energy.

‘Speaking of the doll,’ Mother continued, ‘Where is your maid?’

‘Her Termination Collar is being removed,’ I admitted.

Mother’s eyebrow raised like the curve of a scythe, ‘Removed? What for?’

I took in a breath. I’d practised this excuse in case Mother had questioned me about it, but I was still nervous to say it; ‘The technology utilised in reading the emotional state of the collar’s incumbent isn’t sufficient. Its interpretations are vague and easily misread, leading to events where an override is necessary. To avoid any messy accidents which would be unbecoming of our House, I’m having it removed.’

Somehow Mother’s lips pressed even closer together.

‘I understand this may not be what I had previously thought,’ I continued, ‘But it wouldn’t do to have House Harmonia’s technology be seen as temperamental, even in a private setting. Especially if we were to treat an emergency override as a casual occurrence.’

‘I see,’ Mother said before waving it off, ‘I expect you to keep a close eye on it then. For all we know it may still be a Jovian spy.’

‘A spy?’ I asked, ‘Was she not bought as part of a trade deal?’

Mother barked a laugh, ‘Quite, in that our taking ownership of the doll was the stipulation for the arrangement to even take place at all. Were it not such a reliable caretaker for you after your accident I would have had the thing destroyed to the last molecule.’

I fought down a prickle of anger that rose in my spine. I rubbed at the back of my neck, confused as to why I had felt it as such.

‘Regardless,’ Mother spoke again, 'It must be closely observed. Do not let it out of your sight.’

I gave a nod and Mother, satisfied, left as quickly as she had arrived. Once again, she didn’t even bother to close the doors.
I sighed heavily, falling back into the warm embrace of the bathwater. I looked down again at my hand as I wrapped it around the front of my neck and squeezed it.

I fiddled with my thumbs, sitting pensively at the edge of my neatly made bed. Deianira wasn't around to remake it so no one could chastise me for tucking back the sheets just so.

Nervousness was certainly one of the forefront emotions of my mind. I knew Deianira was going to be okay; I had specifically chosen two EOD specialists with the longest continuous tours of service in Minos, one of the most loyal PMCs to House Harmonia.
Their loyalty was ensured by reducing their previous prison sentences from the other planets of the system after their prison term was bought by House Harmonia. Service in Minos was entirely volunteer-based, but one year's military service equated to ten years in prison. A deal too sweet to refuse for those serving sentences longer than most non-augmented human lifespans.
Not to mention the pay was good, especially during corsair operations.

I leaned back, flopping onto the foot of my bed, staring at its soft canopy. Deianira would come back to me. She was my Maid. She cared for me. More than anyone else would, at any rate. I cursed myself. Who I was before I had almost died, I would have loathed to be now. At least more than I already did.

The door opened and I sat up quickly, my copper hair swaying in front of my vision. As it fell away I saw Deianira standing at attention, looking nervous but relieved, the heavy metal of the Termination Collar nowhere to be seen on her person.

I stood and moved towards her.

'Deianira. It's…’ I paused to clear the lump in my throat, ‘I see the procedure was a success.'

'Yes, Mistress,' she nodded, dropping into a low curtsy, 'I am ready to serve once more.'

I breathed a sigh of unrestrained relief, 'Excellent. It wouldn't do to lose you to a piece of malfunctioning technology.'

'Mistress? Oh, I … I apologise for speaking out of turn, but as I recall you were quite proud of its interpolation software-'

‘How I might have felt before is irrelevant,’ I quickly said, harshening my tone to cover my anxiety 'What happened during our sparring session was proof enough that the technology is flawed, and if I hadn’t seen it before I can only say I was blinded by my own hubris. I'll not have your death be an embarrassment to our House.'

Deianira nodded as I turned my head to the side.

'Besides,' I began, unsure why exactly these words were leaving my mouth, 'You're not to leave my service. I forbid it.'

'Mistress?'

'Are you questioning me?' I asked reflexively.

'No, Mistress. But I did wish to say,' she continued, her own carefully neutral facade somewhat hesitant, 'I wanted to thank you. I did not think I would ever be relieved of my collar.'

'Nothing to concern yourself with,' I shook my head.

'But,' Deianira continued, 'If I may ask, Mistress. Are you feeling alright? You appear stressed.'

I couldn't contain my scoff. Of course I was stressed! She'd seen what I'd been dealing with. Mother had been running me ragged ever since I had returned to the palace, and the artificial gravity of the palace caused my bones to ache even in the innermost rings. How Mother or even Deianira withstood it all I'd never know.
Not to even mention what happened when I took a single second to drop my guard and relax! To rest was to invite tragedy. First Deianira almost had her head blown off by the haunting of my own past foolishness, and the next day Mother interrupts my bath to second-guess my decisions and presume that the one person – the one thing – who was showing me any sort of human decency was a spy for some Jovian threat I'd never even-

I felt a gentle touch on the back of my wrist.

My attention came back to the world as it was and saw Deianira looking at me, sincere concern on her face.
‘Mistress, please let me know if you want my aid to relieve some of your stress.’

A breath seethed through my metal teeth, ‘I can’t relax. I can’t afford to. Even if I look away just for one second everything-’

‘Even the strong break. Mistress,’ Deianira said suddenly, with uncharacteristic firmness, ‘That was a lesson I was forced to learn myself when I-’ she paused, forcing her voice to return to its usual softness, ‘Apologies Mistress, I should not speak of myself now. But regardless, you need to relax and relieve this strain on you. You would not want to collapse under pressure when it is important.’

I ran a hand through my long hair. She was right. But I … ‘I don’t think I can go back to sparring so soon after what happened.’

‘I understand Mistress,’ Deianira nodded, ‘Perhaps there are some other ways you may like to relax?’

‘I don’t know,’ I breathed, ‘Do you have any suggestions? You always seem to have the answers.’

Deianira put a curled finger below her bottom lip, pensive in her thought. In my irritation I’d begun pacing around the room, my fingers beginning to rub at the side of my neck.

‘Perhaps, Mistress,’ Deianira began again, ‘There is some relief to be had in masturbation.’

I stopped in my stride, looking at my maid.

‘What’s that?’

Deianira looked as if she was about to give a small sigh, but resisted the urge, ‘It’s a process of sexual relief for oneself, for many it comes quite naturally though some find it takes some … experimentation,’ she fidgeted with her hands a little, ‘In exploring one’s own body it can release a great amount of pleasure from the release of dopamine, granting relief from stress.’

I ran another hand through my hair. Though her words were analytical this was somehow getting me quite flustered. It’d be embarrassing to be a noble of my station without even knowing what masturbation was.
‘Can you help me with it?’ I asked.

Deianira blinked rapidly in surprise, a flush of pink spreading across her high cheekbones.
‘Mi-Mistress? I suppose I can provide some instructional videos if-’

‘Deianira,’ I cut her off, a sudden heat rising in my own body, ‘I trust you. If you were some sort of spy or assassin like Mother thinks-’

‘An assassin?’ Deianira gasped in bafflement.

‘- you’d already have done something. And in all honesty, I feel like you’re the only one I’d trust with something like this. I’d be too embarrassed to try if it weren’t you. And … I don’t want to get this wrong.’

Deianira paused another moment and bit her bottom lip in apprehension. This was stupid of me. I know she must have been afraid of me too. After all, I must have done horrible things to her in the past, and now I was asking this of her. This was too much. Was I being greedy, taking so much from her without considering anything from her perspective, her perception of who I was – who I might still be?
I was about to open my mouth when Deianira spoke.

‘Alright. I will help you, Mistress. I can … guide you.’

Relief washed over my body and pooled into my heart. An unbidden smile spread across my face as I walked to the bed and began removing my clothes. Deianira fidgeted with the edge of her rubber petticoats as the lights of the room began to dim, now illuminated only by the low rusted haze of the reflections of Mars.
I sorted the pillows to support myself against the headboard of my bed and beckoned for Deianira to join me on the sheets. As she crawled onto the bed, the canopy drew around us. It felt to me as if now we were both submerged in that serene water.

‘So,’ I said, somehow already breathless, ‘What do I do first?’

Deianira cleared her throat, ‘It’s best to find a comfortable position and spread one’s legs, Mistress.’

I did as she instructed, already feeling a faint slickness at my vestibule. I turned my head away from Deianira at my own private embarrassment. How I’d forgotten what masturbation was while still remembering words like “vestibule” was beginning to annoy me.
I turned back to Deianira, who had a mild look of concern.

‘It’s nothing,’ I said, ‘Should I … touch it?’

‘Yes Mistress. Although,’ Deianira began, ‘It may be more pleasing to have some personal lubricant for Mistress’ pleasure,’ she fidgeted with her own fingers, her own blush deepening in shade, ‘As part of my conversion into a Doll, my own fluids were altered to have a similar consistency. If Mistress would allow it?’

I blinked a little, not knowing what she meant. She proffered her hand and I took it, letting her slowly and gently slide my fingers into her mouth. It was so warm and wet, viscerally pleasing and sending electric impulses zapping through my wrist and up my arm.
Her mouth was so slick with clear fluid left on my fingers as she tenderly sucked them, leaving my fingers smooth and shining. Almost like her own skin.
Deianira relinquished my fingers from her mouth, my now lubricated digits glistening and tingling in the air.

Delicately I placed my hand outside my mons and delicately stroked it. It felt good. The pleasing sensation comfortable and somehow both soothing and exciting. But something was missing.

‘This felt a lot better when I had just come back from the ward,’ I commented.

Deianira shifted closer, ‘It may feel better for Mistress if you were to push them gently inside. May I?’

I gave a nod and Deianira gently glided her hand over my arm, placing her palm over the back of my hand as she guided my fingers inward. The tingling sensation hit instantly, the sides of two of my fingers sliding, rubbing, tenderly pleasing my clitoris while delicately pressing through my labia.

‘Oh,’ was all that could escape from my mouth.

Deianira’s own breath was becoming more intense, her body shifting closer to mine. I could feel her own gloved fingertips pushing inside me with my own, the smooth feeling of her latex form so strange but so right.
One of my hands crept up to my breast and began to massage it in tandem, Deianira’s other hand wrapping around my lower back to support me. It felt so good, nothing like what I’d felt before. The warmth and security of the bath was distant and small compared to this. This was new, so intimate, so … vulnerable.
Part of my brain wanted to bolt upright, to chastise Deianira, to keep my status and position but oh it felt too good. Strength meant nothing to me for now, this was enough. I could let go, just for a little while. I didn’t have to be the proud scion of House Harmonia. I didn’t have to be Cadmia.

More moans escaped as I felt Deianira’s own soft form pressing into mine. The latex felt so good, her pliant but strong body near thrumming beneath the slickness of the rubber.
It was becoming hard to think, though a pain in my hand was beginning to stitch itself together.

Deianira, always attentive, noticed my expression, ‘Is everything alright Mistress?’

‘A cramp,’ I said, freeing my hand and trying to shake out the hurt only to give a sigh that felt far more mewling than I intended it, ‘It just feels too good to stop.’

‘If Mistress wishes, I can continue.’

‘I-’ I stammered, not expecting this, ‘By all means.’

Deianira moved away from me, positioning her head between my legs. Before I could question what she was doing she pressed her face close, her warm tongue tenderly sliding inside.
The sound I made was nothing short of inhuman. My spine arched as Deainira’s latex arms wrapped around my thighs, gently keeping my legs from pressing back together. Gasps and unintelligible babbling obscured by pleasured moans curled out from my lips as Deianira pushed her tongue deeper, the tingling sensation from her mouth now lighting up my whole body like a constellation of stars.

A pressure began to build. I hadn’t even the cognitive function to guess what was happening as I felt it welling inside my core, growing and growing like densest gravity. I felt myself holding onto that sensation, or trying to at least. But it quickly became so overwhelming as it grew.
And grew.
And grew.
Until it could grow no more.

It felt as if a quiver shuddered down every sensory nerve in my body. A groan of pleasure unbound, unrestrained, pure and sincere escaped me as I felt every thought drain away from me.
I fell to the bed as a wave of lethargy unlike what I’d felt since the medical ward washed over me.

When I awoke, Deianira’s face was hovering over mine as she drew the warm sheets over my body.
A dreamy smile spread across my face as Deianira’s expression betrayed her mild surprise.

‘Mistress, I hope you do not mind that I have prepared you for rest. It seems that your orgasm exhausted you.’

‘’s fine,’ I said sleepily.

‘Very well. I shall attend to my other duties and let you rest.’

‘Deianira, wait,’ I said, my hand reaching out to hers, ‘Could … I want you to stay with me. At least until I fall asleep again. And … if you would, hold my head in your lap. And run your fingers through my hair.’

Deianira blinked briefly, but understood quickly.
‘Yes Mistress, I can do this for you.’

My pillows were brushed aside as Deianira slid just beside my headboard, taking my head into her lap. The feeling of the latex petticoats, her latex dress, her latex skin. How strange it all was, but the warmth and softness told me more than any lesson that I’d forced into my brain in the last few months.
This was right. This was good.

Deianira’s fingers curled through my long hair, her fine artificial nails gracefully gliding over my scalp. I let the tension and pressure of the gravity and expectations of my world leave me. 

Just for this moment, in this place, in this time, I could be free. Thanks to her. My Maid. My Doll.
Sleep came easily to me that night.