Jenny’s life wasn’t what she preferred, but she supposed it could be much worse.

From the time she’d been here, she had learned what words did or didn’t trigger the stupid electric jumpsuit she wore, and had managed to not get shocked from saying them by accident. She'd confirmed practically every single swear word she could conjure, including a surprising amount of the insults and curses from other languages she’d picked up over her travels. The most obscure she’d found which triggered the zapping was đụ má, which she’d picked up after a brief visit to Vietnam.

But also, she’d seen a lot more of Clara and Precious. Clara didn’t often have a lot to do or say, though most of the time Jenny was basically dragged around by the idiot Princess to answer any questions she had. Sometimes more than once in the span of a minute. But Precious seemed to be almost like a ghost. She was always beautiful and serene, that Jenny had to admit. Her outfits were immaculate, her eyes changing colour seemingly at random each day, and Jenny could tell that she was totally empty-headed. But this wasn’t the same as Clara. Clara was an idiot, she was dumb as a sack of Bratz dolls. But Precious … there just wasn’t anything there. Perfectly calm, perfectly still, and perfectly immaculate.

That was how Jenny found her when she was sent to clean one of the sitting rooms.

Precious was just standing in the corner of the gallery, facing the rest of the room, positioned on a small pedestal. Her dainty hands were positioned outwards, her lilac dress intricately crafted in lolita style and supported by who knew how many layers of petticoats. Lace elbow-length gloves reminded Jenny of pretty little doilies, and a cute bonnet covered her blonde braided wig.

She really did look just like a porcelain doll.

Jenny cleaned the lounge as she was instructed, but couldn’t help but steal glances at Precious. She never even moved her eyes, even though she blinked occasionally. Jenny kept at her work, but as she got closer she couldn’t help but put her things down and inspect Precious closer.

Despite her being so close into her personal space, Precious didn’t even blink. Not even when Jenny waved a hand in front of her face.

Jenny huffed as she stood back, then turned back to her work.

After polishing the leather couches a little more, she couldn’t help but say, ‘I don’t get it, you know. Why you enjoy all this.’

Precious didn’t respond. Jenny got the feeling this was going to be a very one-sided conversation.

‘I mean, there’s the power dynamic. I can understand that. I’m a switch, I love D/s stuff. Hell, I feel awesome when the tables are turned in the middle of the scene. But it’s just giving up everything I don’t get. How you can just show that much trust in someone. But even beyond that, why would you? Don’t you want your own life?’

Precious remained silent. Jenny gritted her teeth as she rubbed polish harder into the wooden coffee table.

‘I guess I just assumed you were … You just seemed so put together. Like you had so much figured out already, just from the way you worked so hard and were always good at what you did. Hell, you were the fastest person I saw handle that … gentleman, Seymour’s lessons. I thought as soon as you got what you wanted out of this place, you’d just take the money and go buy yourself some nice place and start making a life for yourself. Like everyone else. You’d be normal. If I wasn’t leaving first I think I would’ve,’ she wiped away something she didn’t want to admit was in her eyes, ‘I would’ve hated to see you go.’

The room was silent. Jenny shuddered, her fist balling up into her polishing rag.

‘I don’t get it. I don’t know why I always end up being the weirdo. The disappointment. Literally everywhere I go it’s always something that makes me stick out, and it’s never what I want it to be. I get that people don’t want me around. But it’s always something that doesn’t make sense. So I don’t get it. I don’t get why you called me back.’

Not a single sound came from Precious.

A frustrated scream tore from Jenny as she threw her rag at Precious.

‘Say something, for fuck’s sake! Please!’

Jenny didn’t even care as the electric shock hit her. The polishing rag stuck to Precious’ skirt for a moment before falling to the floor. Jenny, heart welling, crossed the floor to pick the rag back up. As she stood, she felt a gentle hand touch the back of her head. She wasn’t sure if Precious had moved or not, but that touch melted some of the tension in her shoulders.

Tears welled in Jenny’s eyes, and a single sob escaped her before she quickly wiped away her tears with the back of her sleeve.

‘I’m sorry I yelled at you, Precious,’ Jenny said, ‘I just. There’s a lot I need to think about. I hope maybe I can understand someday. Maybe then I…’ she shook her head, ‘Never mind, it’s not important.’

Jenny stepped away and returned to her cleaning. Dusting off a few shelves and making sure everything was clean and straight, she collected her things back into the cleaning cart she’d been given and turned to leave. As she pushed open the doors, she turned to give one last look to Precious.

There seemed to be a small smile on her face Jenny couldn’t be sure was there or not.

Jenny couldn’t help but give her own sad little smile.

Jenny gave a wave, ‘See you around, Precious.’

She closed the doors behind her.

Jenny was surprised to see something on her bed when she entered her room again. Her proctor had already unlocked her clothes so she was able to remove them and fold them over a chair she’d been given.

Getting closer, she saw the new object in her room was a small box, a note on top in Mistress’ handwriting.

“Jenny,

Considering your behaviour in the last few days, I have decided to present you back one of your possessions; your favourite shirt.

Apologies for its condition, one of the maids may have used an incorrect setting on our machines.

— Mistress”

Raising an eyebrow, she removed the note and opened the box. Sitting inside, surrounded by delicate packing tissue likely from some high end lingerie shop, was a plastic bag filled with ashes.

Jenny snorted, not able to help her own wry smirk. Despite her shirt being reduced to actual ashes, she could still read the message on it as clearly as ever.

There was a knock at the door as it opened, Jenny somewhat annoyed to be caught in her underwear again as she turned to face Precious.

‘Hello Jenny,’ she said, her tone delicate and monotone, ‘Her Majesty would request you for tea.’

Jenny gave a sigh and rubbed the back of her neck. This was definitely Precious.

She spoke up, ‘Okay, I’ll get my suit back on.’

Precious spoke again, ‘I’ve been instructed to provide you with more presentable attire.’

Presentable? Wait, she wasn’t going to be dressed up like Precious, was she?

A maid entered the room behind Precious, proffering another pink clothing box. Jenny opened it, finding a demure black evening dress inside, along with short heels and a gold necklace with a large pearl pendant. It wasn’t really to Jenny’s tastes, but anything was better than the electric jumpsuit. She put it on, not feeling bashful under Precious’ gaze as the maid left after a polite curtsy.

Once she was dressed, Jenny was able to appreciate the way it accented her body. Thin straps across her shoulder, slits extending to halfway up her thighs as the dress fell down to just above her ankles as the strappy black heels felt like a perfect fit. She even had to admit that the gold and pearl necklace was quite pretty. She wasn’t sure why she was being given any of this, but especially not this specific piece of jewellery. Maybe her “Majesty” would explain it over tea.

Jenny followed Precious as they moved through the mansion into their dining hall, the long polished oak table which dominated the room bare of everything for most of its length, save a beautifully woven table runner. At the very end, her Majesty sat before a tray filled with a delicate teapot, as well as a tiered tray filled with pastries and cakes. Three delicate teacups on saucers sat before the adjacent seats to her Highness, and she beckoned the two closer.

Precious and Jenny curtsied, one more practised than the other, and they sat at the table.

‘It’s good to see you both again,’ Diana said, turning to Jenny, ‘How have you been feeling in your time here?’

Jenny wasn’t sure how to answer, ‘Fine, your Highness. I just think I’m trying to figure things out and,’ she couldn’t help but look away in guilt, ‘There’s a lot I still don’t understand.’

‘So I’ve heard,’ Diana said as she poured herself and Precious a cup of tea, ‘Precious told me about your outburst earlier today.’

Jenny dug her nails into her knees.

‘I want to be clear that I’m not upset. In fact, I’m glad in a way,’ she continued, ‘It tells me that despite your own misgivings, you want to understand. Both the way we do things, and why people would want to participate willingly.’

‘... Yes, your Highness.’

Diana smiled, ‘Good. I can tell you my perspective about why I enjoy making playthings, but I know that you have some reservations about believing people. Including yourself, I would imagine,’ Jenny was caught off guard by the comment, too surprised by it to be indignant, ‘But I imagine it would feel more honest were you to hear it first from your friend.’

Dianna produced a small slip of paper, which she slid across the table to Jenny. She picked it up and read it, as Diana spoke again.

‘Why don’t you try saying that to Precious for me?’

‘I…’ Jenny swallowed, unsure if this would work, ‘“Precious, I would like to speak with Nicole, please.”’

Precious closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again somehow Jenny knew she was different. Something in the way she looked at her, how she turned to her Majesty.

‘Oh, hi Jenny,’ she said cheerfully, ‘Is everything alright, your Highness?’

‘Just fine, Nicole,’ she smiled, ‘I just wanted to bring you up to speak with Jenny for a moment.’

Jenny was stunned, letting the paper in her hands fall into her lap. She just … did something to Nicole. But she was fine. She recognised her. She had to purse her lips to keep her emotions inside.

Diana addressed Jenny, ‘I’ve just given her a new trigger that you can use if you’d like to speak with her, rather than Precious,’ she explained, ‘However, it will only work while you are wearing that necklace, though I must specify it won’t be part of your normal uniform.’

Jenny held the necklace in her hands. This was hers? Was she really being given this kind of … power?

‘So, what did you want to talk about?’ Nicole asked, turning to Jenny.

Words felt hard to say as Jenny looked back to her friend. She let go of the necklace as Diana poured her a cup of tea.

‘I um, I just wanted to know why you wanted to be here. I mean, be a slave for Mistress and her Majesty.’

Nicole smiled, ‘That’s easy. I really love it here!’

‘Really?’ Jenny couldn’t help but ask.

‘Yeah! I don’t really know why anyone wouldn’t to be honest,’ she said, ‘It just feels so safe, like I don’t have to worry about anything. I know I’m … not as good at being a person as you are, Jenny. I mean, it’s absolutely super hot. I love being hypnotised and brainwashed, and having myself be Precious rather than Nicole, I think I prefer it to be honest. I like having the choice, but everything just feels easier as Precious.’

‘What you mean?’ Jenny asked, ‘Like, about being a person.’

Nicole tilted her head away, her eyes downcast, ‘It’s too much pressure. Everyone always wanted me to be something I’m not, from my parents to some people I shouldn’t have even thought about talking to. I let them use me, let them make decisions for me, because, well, I didn’t know what else to do,’ she gave a heavy sigh, ‘It was easier than deciding for myself. Every time I did it felt like something just went wrong. Like I was wrong. Every time. Especially when I transitioned. My parents thought I was just lashing out. So they … did the same.’

Jenny’s heart ached as Nicole continued.

‘I’m happier obeying. It’s better for me if I just let go of myself. I think if I did try to go back, try to be myself again, I’d just fall back into doing whatever anyone told me to do. I’m scared out there. But with Mistress and her Majesty, I know they’ll take good care of me. I know they’re good people, and they’re responsible and care about my happiness,’ she used a napkin to dab away some tears around her eyes, ‘I know this probably isn’t healthy. I get that I can be co-dependant. But they gave me the choice to stay, and didn’t want to push me away. Honestly, I would have been happy just being their maid forever, but while I’m Precious, I can feel loved. Like I have a real purpose instead of just being pushed around. Like I don’t really matter.’

Diana put a gentle hand on Nicole’s other wrist, her expression carrying a gentleness and love that Jenny hadn’t really seen before. Not from her, at the very least.

Nicole gave a tearful smile, grateful for the comfort her Highness brought her.

‘I know you’re not a bad person, Jenny,’ Nicole continued, ‘I know I don’t remember much about the time we spent together, but I know you meant a lot to me, because I can feel it. And what I do remember now tells me you were important to me. You did good things for me. Now I want to do good things for you.’

Jenny’s words faltered entirely, not knowing what to say. She looked down into her tea, still steaming, and contemplated her own reflection. She was out of place. Everywhere she went, she never really fit in. She was reaching the point where she didn’t even believe that people could find a place in the world like that. But hearing Nicole talking like this made her feel different.

Somehow, she believed her.

‘Thank you for telling me, Nicole,’ she said, looking back up to her old friend, ‘I’m glad you found somewhere you belong.’

A true smile crossed her face as Nicole grinned, ‘Thank you. I’m so happy you’re okay.’

Happy sobs escaped Nicole as Diana soothingly patted her arm.

‘Would you like to be Precious again, darling?’ she asked softly.

Nicole nodded.

Diana leaned into her ear, whispered something, and Nicole was gone. Precious looked straight ahead blankly as Dianna dabbed what tears remained away from her eyes.

‘We know it’s not perfect. But it’s better than what could become of her,’ Diana explained, ‘Some people just can’t survive out there. They don’t have the support, or they’ve been hurt so much that they just can’t find a place for themselves.’

A thorn pierced through the inside of Jenny’s heart, an emotional briar that had been growing since she saw Nicole for the first time again in Venice.

How much like Nicole was she, really?

Jenny sighed, her voice quavering with emotion, ‘I think I get it now.’

Diana gave a sympathetic look to Jenny, ‘Why don’t we have some tea first. You don’t have to push yourself.’

She nodded, tasting the savoury and pleasantly bitter tea from the fine cup. Diana indulged in a pastry, and Precious drank with stiff but elegant movements.

‘Your Highness,’ Jenny began after a while, ‘Do you think you feel the same way as Nicole?’

Diana cocked her head to the side, ‘How do you mean?’

‘About what she said about the world. I get that it’s hard out there. But when I worked here, I don’t really remember if you ever left the mansion.’

Diana looked thoughtfully at the extravagant dining room around her. The beautiful furniture, the fine tea and crockery, and the person she owned and protected as her property.

‘I admit, I do feel safe here. Not just because I know that I’m not in that place where I’m so vulnerable again. So fragile and exposed. Though I do not think I’m quite the same as Nicole. I was able to work and build something for myself – of myself – before I came to meet Jasmine. Of course my life may not have been so glamorous as before I had met her, but I would not want to change how we live now. After all, were we to have a more humble place to live, what reason would we have to hire so many servants to keep the place spotless?’

Diana gave a small, private laugh to herself. One not shared by Jenny, who spoke again.

‘Maybe I just … Maybe my brain’s just … wrong. I can’t stay in one place because I feel like it’s all just going to turn to sand beneath my feet and I’ll fall. Again.’

Diana gave a reflective look to Jenny, ‘I do remember thinking it was odd when we received your application. I still remember how you gave it to us,’ a small gust escaped her nose, ‘We didn’t get a lot of handwritten applications.’

‘I mean, I didn’t really have internet at the time,’ Jenny shrugged, ‘I only heard about it through a friend of a plug I met. Uh, dealer, I mean. But it sounded good. She showed me the ad on her phone, I managed to hitch a ride off a crust-punk I was sharing a squat with, and got a bunch of photocopies printed out from the library. I just didn’t know where to send it. So I just,’ she couldn’t help but be embarrassed, ‘Shoved it in the mail slot of every big mansion we could find in the city. Sorta helped that a lot of them are close together and, well, this was the biggest one.’

‘And would you call any of the people who helped you your friends?’ Diana asked.

‘Not really,’ she admitted, ‘The girl I’d heard about it from was really vague. She just said there was a stupidly well paying maid job on the darkweb and I was strapped for cash. The squat was a … not a good place, but I wasn’t planning on staying there long. Honestly, I was doing it just as something to do. Not like I had anywhere else to go.’

Jenny took another sip of her tea, her throat feeling parched.

‘Staying here for the time I did was weird. The work was fine. The play parties were fun sometimes and I got enough money to buy the truck I’d wanted since forever. But I felt like I always had to leave. Especially after I saw … Rachel, you said her name was?’ she swallowed and tried to find her place, ‘But I was afraid that it’d always just be like everywhere else. People would always come and go so I wouldn’t get attached. But seeing you and the harem felt wrong in so many ways. But I didn’t see the trust there. I thought they trapped themselves here. Maybe I refused to believe that they actually wanted to be here.’

‘It can be a hard thing to confront,’ Diana said, ‘Everyone has things that they believe that are wholly fundamental to their worldview. But I feel I must ask. Knowing what you know now, do you want to live your life the way you once did?’

Jenny shook her head, ‘I think I need time. Time to think.’

Diana nodded, ‘Well, you’ll certainly have that. You still have a debt to repay, after all. As per contract you are our indentured servant.’

Jenny gave a wry smirk, ‘Guess I’ll just have to try and figure out if staying in one place is for me.’

‘Perhaps. But if it’s any consolation,’ Diana gave a sweet smile, ‘We won’t be going anywhere. While you’re here, you’ll be safe. And no one is going to throw you away.’

The briars in Jenny’s heart forced themselves out all at once, clattering away as her heart bled. She had to strangle the cry that tried to crawl out from her throat. She couldn’t let Diana see her cry like this.

Precious stood and walked to Jenny’s side, pulling her head against her chest in a delicate hug. Jenny blinked, unsure if it was Nicole or Precious. Or if it really mattered. Was there a difference? Did she want there to be a difference?

Jenny put an arm around whoever it was that held her close. It had been so long since she had a comfort like this.