“Hey Todd...do you think we could talk alone for a minute?” My supervisor glanced up from his clipboard, his bored face curling into a smirk, I suppressed a shiver
“Have you reconsidered my offer, Ms. Torres?” Was his voice naturally that slimy? or did he have to practice to make every word as uncomfortable as possible? I just gave a stiff nod in response, not trusting myself to speak.
“Let's not waste any time then” he turned and led me though the kitchen, then into his office, he stopped inside and gestured for me to enter. I went through a quick mental checklist of where all my coworkers were at that moment.
Maggie was cleaning the bathrooms, Steve and Fry were mopping the dining area, Gloria went home early, and Jessica was supposed to be cleaning up behind the bar, but was probably in the break room. none of them would have any reason to come back here for another half hour or so, we would be undisturbed.
“Gotta tell you Abby, I never thought you’d be one of the girls who finally thought it through, I mean you almost seemed happy scrubbing toilets.”
He swung the door shut and took a step toward me. I hoped he would sit down first, but he made no move toward the chair. He had a new sort of smile on his face now, it made my stomach clench.
“Now now, no need to be nervous, you scratch my back I’ll scratch yours...if anything it's ME who’s doing YOU a favor for this, you’ll like it I promise”
He took another step closer and started reaching out a hand toward my shoulder. He almost had his hands on me when my nerve broke, I jammed my hand into my bag and pulled out a spray bottle, pointed it at him and pumped it, sending a cloud of mist into his face
“Gah what the hell?!”
he brought his hands up to his face already wincing in pain. he probably thought it was pepper spray, wouldn’t be his first time I bet. His pained expression changed to one of confusion, then his eyelids began to flutter. I moved around him and pulled the chair out from under the desk and put it just behind him, a moment later his legs gave out and he slumped down into the chair. His head jerked from side to side,
I sprayed him again and his body relaxed, shoulders slumping, eyelids half closed, mouth hanging open. My heart was pounding in my chest, I nearly dropped my phone as I tried to wrestle it out of my pocket, I tapped through menus with shaking hands and then flipped the screen out to face him.
“Look at the phone Todd'' I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking.
“Just look at the lights, isn't it pretty? isn’t it distracting?...focus...listen”
Flickering colors danced across his expressionless face, I started slowly moving the phone from side to side, his eyes followed
“Good Todd, very good” I said as calmly as I could
“just watch and listen...you want to listen...you aren’t thinking, just listening...good...and now...sleep”
I snapped my fingers and his eyes finally closed. I let out a relieved sigh and tried to get my heart to slow down a bit. Then I cleared my throat and tried to project some confidence into my voice.
“Todd, your listening very closely now, isn’t that right?” a slight nod
“Very good, right now you are blank and empty, whenever I say the words ‘blank and empty’ you will go back to how you are now, understand?” another nod
“Say ‘yes’ for me Todd”
“yeeahs...” he mumbled, lips barely moving, I heaved another slow sigh to try an unravel the nervous knot in my stomach.
“I want you to think back Todd, I want you to remember the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you...” I gave him a moment then
“I want you to put yourself there, remember a time when you felt so totally ashamed that all you could do was look at the floor and feel it”
As I spoke his face began to turn red his lips twitched into a frown
“It’s overwhelming Todd, let the memory fade but the feeling stays and you can’t get rid of it. How does that feel Todd”?
“Do you like to feel that way?”
“Do you hate that feeling?”
“you would do anything to avoid feeling that way again right?”
“good, keep imaging it, imagine the feeling”
His face was now one of true discomfort, his hands twitched and his body went even redder.
“Do you want to stop feeling that way now?”
“Okay, I can make it stop but whenever I say the word ‘Ashamed’ you’ll feel that way again, understand?”
“and every time I say it, you will feel twice as bad as before, understand?”
“I understand” he groaned
“good, go blank Todd, blank and empty” his body relaxed back into his chair I waited for his breathing to steady again, then spoke
“I want you to imagine something else Todd...remember yesterday when Jessica was on the phone with a customer, and you came up next to her and grabbed her ass?” his lips flickered again, he was grinning now
“Do you remember it Todd?” Can you imagine yourself there? Can you feel yourself doing it?”
“good, Ashamed” his face was red again, his body twitched in discomfort, I spoke again
“Todd, remember two days ago, Maggie was reaching for the dish cleaner and you came up behind her and put your hands on her waist, do you remember? Do you feel yourself doing it? Ashamed”
The next few minutes passed like this, I had a long list to get though, and even then I only brought up the things I had personally witnessed, who knows how many more there could be. he was squirming in his chair, I kept my spray bottle ready in case he snapped awake and I needed to dose him again, but he didn’t. he just wriggled turning redder and redder. until finally:
“Todd, remember two weeks ago, we were alone in the parking lot, you offered me a ride home, I said no, you-” I almost stammered on the words
“You grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let go, you said you had an offer to make me', remember? Ashamed...Ashamed...Ashamed.” he let out a pathetic whimper we were just about done here
“Todd, do you want this to stop?”
“I can make it stop Todd, but you have to listen very closely to what I say, understand?”
“P-please...make it stop”
“Okay Todd, whenever you think about groping a girl, you will feel like you do now understand?”
“Whenever you try to touch someone who doesn’t want you to touch them, you will feel like this, understand?”
“If you ever think about using your supervisor position to bully ANYONE into doing ANYTHING you will feel like this, you will feel Ashamed, understand?”
“Yes” he choked, a tear rolled down his cheek. I stepped back, and leaned against the wall. I took deep breaths...okay...we were done here...we were done...
But no. I wasn’t done, I couldn’t deal with it. I can’t see him ever again.
“You feel Ashamed for what you did Todd, If you stay here it will keep getting worse, you have to quit Todd, you have to leave, Understand?”
“I UNDERSTAND!” he yelped, I jumped at the sound, hoping nobody heard him.
“Okay Todd, your mind is blank and empty, relax” at once he stopped squirming and settled back into his chair, after a minute, his breathing steadied and all was calm again
“Todd, are you listening?”
“good, Todd I want you to think about what happened today, I talked to you and we came in here, remember?”
“Then I sprayed you and you fell into trance, remember?”
“Then we talked, and you learned how to avoid feeling Asha- feeling bad right?”
“good, say it back to me”
“you talked to me...we came in-”
“Wrong, I didn’t talk to you today, remember? you came in here alone right?
“we haven’t talked today, then I came in here alone, then you sprayed me and I fell into trance-”
“wrong, you came in and sat down, you fell asleep in your chair, right?”
“then what happened”
we...we talked and I learned how to not feel bad”
“no, you had a dream, you had a dream about groping a girl, how did that make you feel?” he flinched
“good, tell me the whole thing again”
I had him repeat it a few times, then tested him to see if he could recall any part of our conversation. once I was sure he couldn't, I got up and moved to the door, winching as I noticed it was open a crack, I turned back to him and said
“When I close this door behind me, you're going to start counting up, when you reach 20 you’ll wake up, understand?”
I left quickly, my heartbeat finally starting to slow down, it was done, this whole horrible chapter of my life was finally over, It was like having a huge weight suddenly pulled off my chest I smiled a nervous smile, Todd was gone, maybe Maggie would be the new supervisor, she was nice, she liked me. She might even let me take a night off to study every now and then
I jumped out of my skin, I had just walked into the kitchen and the voice sounded from directly behind me. I swiveled around and saw Jessica. the tall slim dark haired girl was leaning against the wall, I had walked right by her without noticing
“Oh hi!” I said, a bit too loud, the girl stared down at me. I didn’t speak with Jessica often and she seemed nice...but she was nearly a whole foot taller than me and seemed pretty fit, I found her kinda intimidating. as if reading my thoughts she gave me a gentle smile
“What are you up to?” she asked conversationally
“oh you know” I replied, still too loud “cleaning and...stuff...”
“with that?” she asked her eyes moving down to my hand...which was still clutching the spray bottle
“uh no” I shoved the bottle back into my bag, feeling like an idiot,
“That’s uh...mine...actually I need to put this bag away now so...” I turned and walked away
“Break room’s the other way princess” I turned and she was smiling again, her thumb pointed over her shoulder
as I passed her she turned to face me,
“Todd’s a real asshole huh? ”I flinched as if she had smacked me
“Oh uh...yeah” I mumbled, not looking at her
“Didn’t he call you in on your day off so his girlfriend could go home early? pretty shitty move.”
“Uh-huh” I edged further down the hallway.
“Honestly, I’ve been trying to think up a way to get rid of him”
I could feel the color draining from my face, I couldn’t turn to look at her. she sighed,
“Anyway you should try and get some more sleep, you look stressed”
Finally it seemed our conversation was over, I was speed walking down the hallway when Todd suddenly came out of his office, I froze, our eyes met...his face went red, he muttered something incoherent and went back into his office, slamming the door, I heard Jessica chuckle behind me. keeping my head down I hurried to the break room and shoved my bag in a locker. then started catching up on my closing duties
The night was coming to an end, and it was time to pick who would be staying for the last hour to lock the doors. We were technically still open, but no one ever came in after 1am so it was mostly just waiting for the clock to run out. Normally it was the supervisors job to choose who had to stay, but Todd had apparently fled the building, sprinting off into the night about an hour ago. Everyone assumed that he had been dropping LSD in his office, and the trip had gone bad. Nobody suggested calling anyone or trying to help him.
“I’m pretty sure its Abby and Steven’s turn to close tonight” Maggie said, I noticed she kept glancing at her watch, I guess she had places to be
“Hold on a minute” Steven was already getting angry “I’M pretty sure it's YOUR turn Maggie, right Fry?
“Yeah that sounds about right to me” Fry grinned like an idiot
“You assholes!” Maggie’s eyes lit up with fury “you know I’ve got a date tonight...”
“Not our problem” Steve waved her aside
I mostly spaced out for the long argument that followed, I was pretty sure it was actually Gloria’s turn, and she had left early, but figured bringing that up wouldn’t calm down the discussion any faster. I glanced around and noticed that Jessica was looking at me...she was smiling, I felt a chill and my stomach started tying itself into knots. Jessica slowly raised a hand and spoke above the bickering
“I volunteer” she announced, everyone finally shut up and turned to look at her, she shrugged, “I need the hours, and got no where better to be”
“That works” said Maggie, clearly relieved “Who’s the second person gonna be?”
Everyone looked at me, I didn’t say anything.
“Well guess that’s settled” Fry said making for the door, “you two have fun tonight”
I stood frozen as the rest of them left, leaving me alone with Jessica. She was looking at me, I was looking at the floor.
“I’ll take the kitchen if you take front” she suggested, starting towards the back
“Okay” I mumbled an inexplicable fear still roiling in my gut. So what even if she does know? What could she do? Tell someone? Who would believe something like that? and if she tries to hurt you or something...you still have the formula spray in your bag...you can protect yourself... my insides didn’t feel any less tight. Why was I like this? Why did I have to worry about everything? maybe I’d feel better if I did something about it...I could use the formula on her, find out what she knows, then if she does know anything just make her forget, problem solved. I shook my head vigorously, that was an awful idea, the last thing I needed was for this to get MORE complicated. I just wanted to go home...
“Hey, you okay over there?”
I jumped, Jessica was calling me from the kitchen, she looked worried...worried about me.
“I’m fine, sorry I just...couldn’t think of where to start” I called back lamely
“You know it'd be cool with me if you wanted to chill in the break room for a while” she shrugged “Just sayin’”
“OH uh no I’m fine thanks” she seemed amused
“Alright...but is it cool with you if I chill in the break room for a while?”
“um yeah...its cool”
“Cool” she was gone. I stood behind the counter for the rest of the night, willing the time to pass faster. Jessica came out a few times, I nearly panicked thinking she would start asking questions about Todd...but she didn’t. She was ‘just checking in on me’ she said, I was probably giving off the vibe that I wanted to be alone, because she always went right back to the break room...honestly I was kinda thankful for it.
2am finally rolled around and it was time to go, I punched out and went to the back to get my things. as I grabbed my bag, I knew the moment I touched it that it was too light, I dug frantically around inside and sure enough, the bottle was gone.
oh the fear.
It was such a slow creeping thing...like a creature made of spikes was expanding in my stomach until it was stabbing into every part of me
Jessica’s voice came from behind me. I was paralyzed, I couldn’t move, couldn't even turn around...then as if the creature in my stomach suddenly pounced I felt my body lurch into motion, I tried to run for the door, but the moment I turned around I felt mist in my face...a familiar smell...
At once the fear began to recede, I was facing Jessica now, she had my bottle pointed at me, her expression unreadable. but I didn’t have time to focus on it for long, I felt my body going limp, I focused all my attention on my legs, trying to keep them from falling out from under me, with a titanic effort I managed to stay standing... I was still swaying though, and my balance went too far to one side...but an arm reached out and clasped my shoulder keeping me upright, my head lolled and I was staring sleepily at the carpet. I knew I should be afraid, I knew I should panic...but the emotions just wouldn’t come, I felt like I was floating on my back in the middle of a vast calm ocean...I smiled to myself I should use this stuff on myself more often...it would really help with my anxiety...but I guess I’m usually too anxious to try it… my drifting internal revelry was cut short by Jessica’s voice
“Abby? Can you hear me?”
I made an affirmative sound and just kept staring at the carpet, remembering she was there, the worrying part of myself tried again to make do something... do anything...But what is there to be worried about? I thought, it would wear off in a minute or so, might as well just enjoy it while you can...
“Damn, just like that huh? you just spray someone with this and they have to do what you say?”
“nah” I muttered “doesn’t work like that”
“It just makes you relax, turns parts of your brain off, kinda like alcohol but different” some part of me worried that maybe I shouldn’t be sharing this information...but that worry like all the others was washed away by the vast sea I was floating on
“Pretty cool right?”
“Very cool, where’d you get something like this?”
“I made it, it's my secret formula” I was grinning stupidly again, I had never actually made up a name for the stuff, just called it my ‘formula’ after all nobody was ever really supposed to know about it.
“How’d you get Todd to do what you said then?” Jessica asked, she was still holding my shoulder, gently keeping me from falling over...it was so nice of her...
“I hypnotized him”
“Really?” she sounded amused “just like that? sounds difficult”
“not with my formula it's not” It felt good to brag about it, I’d kept the secret for so long, someone should know about my accomplishments.
“oh? how do you do it?”
I definitely should not tell her that I thought, but my lips were already moving, it just felt so good to be talking to someone without my usual social anxiety getting in the way
'Well after you dose them, you just gotta get them to focus on something pretty or distracting...anything that holds their attention, and cause they’re so relaxed they fall into trance, that’s all it takes really, focusing and relaxing, then you bring them down down down...and tell them to go to sleep”
I tried to shrug but my shoulders didn’t feel like moving
“Then they’re really open to your suggestions, you can alter memories, plant triggers…” I felt a tightening in my gut then... I definitely should not have told her that... the formula is wearing off, maybe I can... I regained control of my neck and looked up, Jessica was smiling sweetly at me
“You’re really smart Abby”
She seemed like she really meant it too. She raised the bottle and sprayed me twice. instantly my legs collapsed like wet noodles, I was falling...and then I felt arms around me, holding me up. had I been worried about something a moment ago? it just seemed so far away now. Everything was fuzzy and comfortable, I was floating on my back in a still ocean again...so calm.. It would be so easy to fall asleep in her arms...I felt a hand on my chin, she gently lifted my head until I was looking straight into her dark blue eyes. she smiled down at me
“Hey Abby, do you think I'm pretty?” I tried to speak but my mouth wasn’t moving properly.
“aww, you look so sleepy, it's adorable” he moved her head closer, her nose was just a few inches from mine
“Such a cute drowsy Princess, why don't you just focus on me? how warm and comfortable it feels just to be here in my arms, its nice isn't it?"
It was nice, so warm so safe, she seemed so strong, she pressed my head into her chest, and my eyes slid shut. she swayed back and forth, rocking me gently
"That's a good girl just keep going deeper and deeper, you don't have to worry about a thing, I'm going to protect you, I'm going to make everything right...”
I let out a sigh and started sinking into that deep calm sea.
“Very good, soooooo deep for me now Princess, sleep for me, just sleep and listen”
I could feel her hand running through my hair. She was still talking, but the words were just sounds, I couldn’t make any sense of them anymore. The last of the light from the surface faded, and the warm dark blue water swallowed me up.
I was having another anxiety dream, normally they had the same themes over and over, being late for work, forgetting to study for a test, getting asked out on a date. ect. but this one was new, I was at work, one of my coworkers Jessica was there, we were alone. She smiled at me reaching into her bag and pulling out a bottle, a bottle of my formula… she sprayed me with it. But for some reason instead of feeling relaxed I felt myself tense up, instead of all my stress melting away, it just piled on more and more, I felt my gut twisting up tighter and tighter, then Jessica said “shhh, it’s okay, I ‘ve got you Princess…” and just like that the dream changed, she was holding me close, it felt so…so good. So calm. Then came another feeling, a warm dampness between my legs, I nuzzled into her chest, then-
I woke suddenly in a cold sweat. I was in my bed, in my apartment. The room was dimly lit by a soft pink neon light hanging on the wall. I sat up and tried to calm down. Just a dream I thought, a weird, kinda sexy dream…about Jessica for some reason? Thinking about Jessica made my face turn red. When did I start feeling That way about one of my coworkers? I thought back to my last interaction with her. It was the day I finally dealt with Todd I remembered, about a week ago now…I finished with him, closed with Jessica, and then…
It was like turning the page in a book only to find it blank, my brow furrowed as I tried to recall.
Dealt with Todd, Closed the store, Then…something, then I went home, went to work the next day and…
Blank again, I could feel myself panicking now, I tried to recall a single detail of any of my work for the past week and found…nothing. Something was very wrong but…I just couldn’t even begin to comprehend what. I struggled against my growing anxiety and checked the clock, four hours to go until my shift, you really ought to go back to sleep
for some reason the idea seemed…extremely compelling
I don’t want to think about this anymore, I need my sleep, I am a good girl and I should take care of myself…
I blinked, what the hell was that thought just now? My anxiety, which had almost settled for a moment, suddenly came back at full force, I felt like I was going to be sick.
This is going to be a bad day
Four sleepless hours later, I was lurking outside the restaurant in my uniform. I watched the day crew carefully as they filtered out…
“H-hey uh...Stacy?” I called out, trying to sound casual and failing miserably Stacy turned and saw me
“oh uh hey...” her eyes flicked to my nametag, “Abby...need something?”
“oh uh no...just...how was work today?” she gave me a confused look, but I couldn’t tell if it meant she had been hypnotized, or if this conversation was just really really awkward.
“it was fine...” she managed a small smile “better since that creep Todd left, am I right?” my whole body froze
“uh...yeah...” I trailed off staring at her, after a moment she gave me an uncomfortable goodbye and went on her way. She seemed fine other than that she was talking to me…I looked to the front door, wondering again if this wasn’t a bad idea...
it’ll be fine, If I just go in and do whatever she tells me to do, she won’t notice I broke free, and then I catch her by surprise.
It seemed like a good enough plan, I tightened my grip around a new bottle of the formula I had whipped up before work, it was extra strength so I could use it to incapacitate her, and anybody else that might be under her control, If she thought I was hypnotized there’s no way she’d see it coming...but what if she tried to make me do something embarrassing or unethical?...would I be able to go through with it? I shook my head to cast out the doubts, whatever Jessica was up too, it was my responsibility to do something about it, and deep down I knew that If I didn’t face it today, I wouldn’t have the courage to face it tomorrow either, I’d run away, and leave everyone to Jessica’s whims...I had to do this.
Psyching myself up, I walked quickly into the restaurant, nobody spoke to me as I made my way to the back...but people rarely spoke to me so it was hardly a strange sign. I went to the break room to clock in, and I immediately noticed that things had changed, the room was significantly dimmer than I remembered, I looked up at the ceiling and saw that several light bulbs had been taken out, the furniture had all been moved as well, everything was now stuffed into the far corner of the room, tables that were usually spread across the floor had all been put end to end forming one long table, a large cushy chair sat at the end of the table like a throne. Sitting in the chair was Jessica, reading a book. she looked up as I entered and gave me a warm smile. I tried to casually continue through the room as if I hadn’t noticed her, but my feet froze to the spot. I was staring hard at her...half of me wanted to keep acting normal, half of me wanted to run, so I just stood there like an idiot while she got up and crossed the room towards me
“Abby hey! you look...” she frowned “upset about something?”
Fear surged through me, I had seen her for two seconds and my cover was already blown. what was I thinking? I couldn’t do this
“no I’m uh...fine” I replied pathetically, she was only a step away from me now, I found myself looking at her shoe’s
“You look tired” she seemed annoyed
“Did you sleep much last night?”
She made an exasperated sound and stepped forward “Well you know what that means...it's nap time for Princess”
I felt the words like a weight on mind, a gentle tugging...an invitation to drop and spiral deeper and deeper into a warm comfortable place.
Just accept them and let go
Part of me whispered. I managed to stay firm, but remembered to play the part, I let my shoulders sag and my eyes droop a bit. I felt a hand on my back gently pushing.
“Come along now” she said softly “you know where you need to be”
I didn’t know, but luckily she guided me anyway, we went around the table and to the couch that was tucked up against the corner of the room, I noticed there was a pillow on one end. I was about to sit down on the couch when I suddenly felt my legs being pulled out from under me, I let out a gasp as she lifted me up with no apparent effort, one arm under my head and one arm under my legs, then she gently laid me down. Was I really that light? or was she just that strong? I wondered as she pulled a blanket from behind the couch and carefully tucked me in, she finished by pressing her lips to my forehead for a moment, then she whispered into my ear
“Sleep deeply for me now Princess, that’s a good girl”
I felt a tugging on my mind again, stronger this time, I let out a sigh as my eyes slipped shut against my will, and I imagined myself drifting on that vast sea of calm, warm, dark water, I could feel myself getting heavier, getting dragged down, I imagined kicking my feat furiously to stay afloat. Eventually the feeling passed. By the time I managed to pry my eyes back open Jessica was already sitting back in her chair reading her book, she was facing away from me...If I wanted to try something, now was the time to do it, but what? I definitely wasn’t sneaky enough to creep up behind her without her hearing…but even if I was…I suddenly realized I didn’t have my bag with me anymore, where had it been taken from me? It also occurred to me that I had the perfect opportunity to spray her as she was guiding me over, why hadn't I? none of this was going to plan…why was she having me lay here? To keep an eye on me? I guess all I can do now is wait and hope she doesn’t ask me to do anything too weird or embarrassing…
Someone else walked into the breakroom, I felt myself go red. What would people think if they saw me lying around instead of working?
“Uh...hey there,” Steven said, glancing around the room with a confused look on his face. Jessica raised a hand and curled her finger toward us
“Over here Steve”
He approached and stood at the opposite end of the table, he stood there for a moment, glancing around. Without looking up from her book, Jessica snapped her fingers and said,
Instantly Steve’s body went limp, he looked less like he was standing, and more like he was dangling from a string
“Listen carefully now Peon, you will not enter the break room again today, instead you will take your breaks out back, when you leave you will remember today as just another boring day at work, understand?”
“You will not bother me, or disturb the Princess, you will remember us working and doing our jobs as normal, understand?”
“When you leave this room, you will wake up and forget this conversation, then you will find Fry and tell him I need to talk to him in here, go now”
Without a word, Steve turned and stumbled off toward the door. A minute later, Fry entered and the scene repeated, almost word for word. she did it all without ever even looking up at her book, this was clearly something she’d been doing for a few days now...Was she really just using my formula to get out of having to work? That seemed...well a little unambitious to say the least...I guess I should just be glad she doesn’t seem to have taken it much further yet... it was odd, I had expected that she might have brainwashed the whole staff by now, but I hadn’t imagined she would bother to set me apart from everyone like this...maybe she wanted me for something? well it was easy enough to guess, I was the only one who could make more of the formula for her...but she didn’t really NEED to give me special treatment for that, she could just make me do it then send me back to work with everyone else...I watched quietly as Jessica gave instructions to all my co workers, finally Maggie entered, and Jessica finally looked up from her book
“Good evening slave” she said, a smile in her voice
“Is everything dealt with?” Maggie gave a bow
“All is well Mistress, everyone is accounted for”
“Very good slave, now there is only one important matter left then you will return to your regular duties” She got up, threw her jacket over her shoulder and made her way toward the door, then she gestured back towards me,
“My Princess is having trouble sleeping, you will tend to her every need, understood?”
I closed my eyes quickly, how did she notice? She hadn’t even looked in my direction...soon I felt Maggie beside me. She quickly lifted my legs and pulled off my shoes. I tried to remain limp and unresponsive, but I was breathing too quickly. she put her arms under me and lifted me a bit, then started rocking me gently, humming softly...it didn’t help me get to sleep of course, if anything it made me more and more embarrassed, she was treating me like...like some kind of baby! then she leaned in close and whispered in my ear
“Sleep deeply Princess”
Once again I felt the words tugging on my mind, again I had to fight to keep myself from drifting down. I couldn't open my eyes, so instead I squeezed them shut as tight as I could
“Mistress says you need your sleep, be a good girl now, sleep deeply Princess”
Suddenly the tugging stopped, the struggle faded away and I felt...warm...
Why don’t you just go to sleep for real? you’re bad at pretending, just relax and everything will be fine. This thought felt…strange, like there was another voice inside my head. It was weird but…it was kinda right?
“Good giiiiirl, sleep deeply princess, sleep deeply princess”
I yawned and smiled. Why hadn’t I thought about it before? I wanted her to think I was asleep, so I’d just go to sleep, it was so easy...I’m not sure why I was so bothered by her earlier, Princess loved being held like this, It made her feel so warm, safe and drowsy...
"Remember Mistress loves you, she’ll be back soon. Sleep deeply Princess”
There was nothing for it, Princess was to tired to get up, to tired to even move, to tired to even think. she snuggled up against Maggie’s warm soft body and quickly went to sleep
I woke to the feeling of a hand on my face. Princess smiled and opened her eyes. Mistress was there, she had one hand gently cupping Princess’s cheek while the other was methodically stroking her hair.
“Good morning Princess” she purred “did you sleep well?”
“Yes Mistress” the words were easy, so automatic that Princess hardly even noticed herself saying them, still they made her feel oh so good, so she said them again
“Yes Mistress...is it playtime?” Mistress chuckled
“Not yet Princess, first we have to talk about what happened before your nap...you were acting strangely, do you remember?” Princess frowned
“I...I remember Mistress...I was playing pretend and...for some reason I didn’t want to do what you told me to...I don’t know why...”
Princess scrunched up her face, she felt so...confused, and a little scared, Princess wasn’t used to feeling this way
“I’m s-sorry Mistre-”
“shhhhhhhh, It’s okay, you did nothing wrong Princess nothing wrong at all” and just like that all the doubt was swept from her head, Princess smiled and pressed her cheek into Mistresses hand
“Can...can it be playtime then?” she asked hopefully, Mistress chuckled again, then leaned forward to give Princess a kiss on the forehead
“Almost, but first we have to make sure it never happens again don’t we? Listen close and go deep for me Princess, be a good girl now” Princess did so, utterly obedient and desperate to please. she felt the warm water all around her, pulling her deeper and deeper down. Mistress was still talking, and Princess was listening closely and responding, but I couldn’t hear them anymore. I was lost in that deep warm never ending sea.
“And...playtimes over Princess, time to wake up” Princess was confused for a moment, but then she stopped being Princess and turned into Abby, or she turned into me, because I don’t refer to myself in the third person, that would be weird.
I froze mid step, where am I? I jerked my head around trying to get my bearings. I was outside, it was dark but I recognized the street, we were a few blocks away from work, Jessica was there, laughing at me
“Welcome back Abby, I hope you don’t mind but I felt like chatting with you somewhere more comfortable than the break room”
she hooked my arm and started pulling me along the sidewalk, I allowed myself to be guided, still too disoriented to resist. we stopped in front of some kind of nightclub, Jessica waved to the bouncer
“Jessica” he nodded to her, then glanced at me
“Gonna need an ID for that one”
I mumbled, reaching into my pocket for my license…wait, why am I trying to get into this place? I should tell the bouncer I’ve been kidnapped.
“That won’t be necessary, she’s with me” Mike raised an eyebrow
“Sorry Jess, rules are rules...” then Jessica stepped very close to him for a moment and said
“Thanks for letting us in Mike”
“uh...my pleasure...” Jessica brushed passed him, pulling me along with her, I got a look at Mikes face as we passed, he was blinking rapidly as if dazed...and then we were inside
“That was a bad idea” I said, I knew what the effects of my formula looked like
“Once it wears off he’ll know he was drugged and he’ll come after us...” Jessica smiled at me mischievously
“Hmmm I don’t think so, I’m actually wearing a subtler variant of your formula as perfume. It's not as strong but he won’t notice the effects, he’ll think he just spaced for a moment and let it go”
I was startled by this, had she really been messing around with my formula? I guess it had been a week since she got hold of it, I just hadn’t taken her for much of a chemist.
“that’s pretty clever” I mumbled, she giggled
“Not very modest, are you?”
“...What?” she giggled again
“You made it for me silly, you’re my little genius”
“oh” I thought about the big blank space in my memory where...literally anything could have happened and I would be none the wiser...then a thought occurred to me
“Did you say you were...wearing it?”
“yup, like perfume”
“How do I wear it without dosing myself?” she finished for me, waving off the question
“I’ve been building up an immunity to your little magic potion, the full strength stuff still makes me a little bit dizzy, but I can wear this version with no side effects"
I felt myself go pale, up to this point I had somehow maintained the belief that no matter how bad things looked, I could still regain control of the situation somehow...but now that hope was gone, I felt sick to my stomach.
“Woah, you look like you need to sit down”
We passed through a throng of people, went up some stairs and moved to a booth. Jessica gently pushed me into it and I sat, she sat beside me. I noticed that by sitting next to me, she’d made it so that If I wanted to leave I now had to either crawl over her, or jump out the window to the street below...I found myself curling up into a ball, pressing into the farthest corner of the seat, lowering my head into my arms, I felt like I was about to throw up. Everything was just so...overwhelming, the music was too loud, the people talking around us were too loud, my own panicked heartbeat was too loud, the situation was...utterly hopeless. I stayed like that for a while before finally I heard Jessica sigh
“I understand you’re afraid Abby, but I want you to know that it really upsets me to see you like this...”
I slowly looked up at her, trying to convey with expression alone that she had no right to say that seeing as it was entirely her fault. She continued,
“Abby, I could make you calm down, I could make you feel happy, I could make yo-”
“That's what I’m afraid of!” I choked out
“But” she pressed on “I don’t want to do that, I want to talk to you, the REAL you”
She reached out a hand toward me...then stopped and retracted it.
“But this isn’t the real you either, you need to calm down. Take some deep breaths and-” she cut herself off
“No...I’m sorry, I shouldn’t tell you to do things. Just take all the time you need and I’ll order us some drinks” I wanted to ignore her completely, but I knew that in a way she was right, things would be better off if I could calm down and think...but the noise...
“Why did you have to take us somewhere so...loud?” I said, hating the way my voice sounded like I was about to cry
“I thought you might be more comfortable if we weren’t alone together...I can do something about the noise”
She waved someone over and said something into his ear, the man left and a minute later a slower, calmer song came on and people’s voices quickly dropped to suit it.
“A little better?”
She asked, the man had returned with drinks and placed them in front of us
“I would drink that water, you look like you could use some”
she gestured to my cup. Despite the noise level being the mere tip of the iceberg as far as my anxiety was concerned, I could feel myself calming down a little. I was thinking enough to notice she had gone out of her way to make her last words sound like a statement rather than a command. I drank the water, the whole cup down in one long gulp.
“So...did you brainwash the entire staff of this place as well?” she smiled
“No, I just got a few friends here, and the boss owes me a favor or two”
I suddenly realized how childish I looked with my legs up against my chest, I let them slide to the floor and just hugged myself with my arms, I let my eyes wander past Jessica into the throng of the people and the club itself, I focused back on her, she was smiling at me again like something about me made her want to laugh. It irritated me a little.
“What's so funny?”
“I was just trying to decide...which one of you is cuter” she took a sip of her drink, I blinked at her
“Which one of...who?” she smiled wide, she was hoping I’d ask
“Which Abby of course!” she raised a hand and began counting off her fingers
“First there’s blissed-out Abby, the Abby who’s been dosed with her own magic potion, she doesn’t do a whole lot, mostly just spaces out actually, but it's pretty cute to watch.”
She brought down a second finger
“Then there’s Princess Abby, and she is just absolutely precious, she loves to snuggle and play, and nothing in the world can put a single worried thought into her petty little head, she’s so perfectly innocent and...”
I felt my face go red and I looked down at the table. She sounded like she could have continued, but mercifully decided to move on
“Then there’s you Abby, the most mysterious of them all, who knows what sorts of deep thoughts are swirling around in that head of yours? you're timid and shy...and smart too, my adorable little genius”
She paused for a moment, and when she spoke again her tone had changed somewhat
“But you worry a lot, and I mean A LOT. you’re tense all the time; you’re tense right now, you’ve got a ball of anxious energy inside that you never let unravel. you work yourself to exhaustion, and then you don’t sleep.” She sighed
“it's hard to watch, It just makes me want to...” she shrugged
“Take care of you, bring you home, tuck you in, take you deep and make all your worries go away, make you into my thoughtless little Princess who’s never stressed about anything because she knows that Mistress will always take care of her.” A long silence followed, I kept my eyes fixed to a spot on the table.
“I...I can take care of myself” I mumbled, but it was either too quiet for her to hear, or too pathetic of a response for her to pay any attention.
“It’s not quite that simple though...or rather, you are not quite that simple, and that’s why I wanted to talk to you like this”
She drained the last of her glass, then waved down a server for another. I studied her, trying desperately to figure her out. What was her game? her plan? it was hopeless, she was utterly inscrutable. she giggled at me
“You’re making that thinking face again, it's adorable” Just then we were interrupted, a woman approached the table her face beaming
“Jessica! Someone told me you were here tonight!” Jessica turned and smiled
“Evening Stacy, sorry I haven’t been around lately” the two of them started catching up and I had a moment to myself, I spent it staring at the table, trying not to be noticed. Jessica’s description of me spun around and around in my head
“And who’s this?” Stacy asked looking over at me, I was still pressing myself into the farthest corner of the booth, I’m sure I looked like a frightened puppy
“This is Abby, she’s not much of a people person so I’m trying to help her get out more”
“that’s not true...she forced me to come here” Stacey threw back her head and laughed
“Oh yes, I know how pushy Jessica can be, but honestly Abby” she gave me her warmest smile
“I’d just go along with it if I were you, can’t fight the tide. and I think the tide would think twice if Jess gave gave it a talking to. She’s a very good friend though, and I’m sure she’s got your best interests at heart” she looked me up and down
“Though I should warn you she might have other plans for you as well...as you happen to be exactly her type.” Jessica elbowed her
“Aright, that’s enough well-poisoning from you, god you're such a gossip Stace...one thing before you go though...you still having trouble with that guy?” Stacy’s face fell for a moment, before returning to a somewhat tired smile
“Yeah...still won’t leave me alone, hasn’t done anything worth calling the cops over...but yeah” Jessica nodded seriously
“Well, it just so happens that Abby and I might have a solution for a problem like that, don’t we Abby?” I felt myself go a bit pale, but Stacy just laughed
“A solution? What the hell does that even mean Jess? it sounds like you’re gonna blackmail him or something...” she paused
“your...not going to do anything like that...are you?” Jessica waved her off
“No no, nothing illegal or unsavory...though it is a bit of a secret” She leaned in conspiratorially
“But with your permission, we’d like to give it a shot. I promise nothing bad will happen to him...he’ll just suddenly stop bothering you, sound good?” Stacy narrowed her eyes
“You seem serious about this...”
“Dead serious” there was a long pause, then she shrugged
“Well I did just tell Abby here to trust you so I guess it would be hypocritical of me to tell you no...Just promise nobody gets hurt...and not to put yourself in too much trouble...” Jessica shook her head
“It's nothing Stace, you just leave it to us” she shrugged again
“Alright, I see you two were having a bit of a private conversation here, so I’ll leave you to it. Come find me when you’re ready to party” and with that she rejoined the crowd
“We go way back” Jessica explained “She can be a bit irresponsible sometimes, but she’s got a good heart”
“Are you really going to do that?” deal with her ex or whatever?” she smiled
“Of course! I’ve already used it to get one of my own ex-girlfriends to stop stalking me, I’d say it's an ideal use for your little potion, and I suppose you’d have to agree considering how you used it...”
I looked away again so she just continued
“Speaking of which, that’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about...the thing with Todd”
“w...what about it?”
“Well...I was mostly just curious about why you did it”
“What do you mean why? you knew as good as anyone he was...awful” I shook my head, trying not to linger on the memories
“Well yeah he was awful, I was probably a week or two away from losing my shit and sending him to the hospital. In fact when I heard him coming onto you in his office, I almost came in and kicked his ass right then. But imagine my surprise when I saw sweet little Abby was dealing with it all on her own...”
She looked at me with...pride? it was still hard to read her face
“So I guess my question isn’t really WHY you did it, but rather, why YOU did it. It just seemed...well a bit out of character. How could a shy thing like you make and use some kind of mind control potion? Or really, how could a girl who knew how to make and use a mind control potion be so shy? I’ve been puzzling over it for the past week, any thoughts?”
for a while I found myself at somewhat of a loss for words...
“I don’t know...” I mumbled still not looking at her “I just...couldn’t deal with it, he was making my life miserable...I just...had to do something”
“And as for the rest of it, why do you have such a shitty job? you can brainwash people, you should be living in the lap of luxury” I shook my head
“I don’t want to abuse it...that would be...wrong”
“Right, Like you’ve never once used it to get an edge before…” I didn’t answer
“C’mon, not even you are that innocent”
I glared at her, and she stared right back. I held her gaze for a moment...then another...
"Hmm, I think its nap time"
I felt a tug on my mind. it was as if pieces of myself were breaking off, drifting into the deep blue sea in her eyes. it was far too late to try and look away, I was helplessly entrapped in her gaze. At that moment it was clear who held all the power. My thoughts had all but faded beneath the waves. She was speaking now, and I could feel my mouth moving to respond, but it was like my head was filled with static, the sound blotted out her words, and it made everything blurry, everything but her perfect dark blue eyes. then it was over. she looked away just like that I was free again, I could feel myself shaking a bit as she took a sip of her drink
“Sorry about that, I wanted to know if you really meant it, so I decided to ask Princess” she gave an apologetic smile
“Princess can’t lie, she doesn’t know how to be anything but perfectly honest and true to herself. So I was wrong, you are that innocent, good for you I guess” I felt myself go red…for some reason a question slipped out
“Is it true what Stacy said? That I’m…your type?” she gave a small smile,
“Well, you’re small, and shy, and cute, so in a way yes, but what you did with Todd…well you are shy, and cute, but you're brave too, I was a little infatuated. And then the week you spent as my little Princess…I have to admit I might be a little obsessed”
Somehow my face managed to get even redder
"We've had quite a few conversations that you don't remember, once I made the mistake of asking you what made you so worried all the time. and you just went on and on and on...from the way you tell it, its like your life is just an endless avalanche of problems, and you're just barely holding on. And I guess that's its own sort of bravery...
“I’m not...I’m not brave...what I did with Todd, that was weak...I couldn’t deal with it anymore, school was so hard and work was getting worse and worse...with him on top of all that It felt like my whole life was falling apart and I just...broke”
I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and felt furious at myself for being unable to stop them. When I looked up at Jessica, I was shocked to see a look of genuine distress on her face, it was the most upset I had ever seen her.
“Oh...I’m so sorry...my little Princess...” she started to reach out to me, but again she stopped herself half way. she sighed, and turned away from me to face the crowd of people. I tried to compose myself, after a few silent minutes passed, I finally just asked her what I’d been trying to figure out this whole time.
“Jessica...why are you...what are you going to do? what do you want?” she looked back at me, face expressionless...then she let out a small smile
“What am I going to do? well I’m going to keep using your formula to help out my friends, and to help out myself. I have a few long term plans I’m working on, but nothing super villain-esque if that’s what you’re worried about” She paused for a few seconds, thinking...
“As for what I want...well that’s a very complicated question, but right now it has a very simple answer. I want you, Abby” I stared at her
“That doesn’t make any sense”
“Oh?” she cocked an eyebrow
“You can already force me to make more of my formula for you, you can already make me do...anything really...what more could you possibly want from me?” she sighed
“You’re misunderstanding me, I don’t want you to do anything, I don’t want anything from you, I want You”
“And when I say I want you, I mean I want ALL of you, I want you all to myself, I want you to belong to me, I want you to be MINE” she said it casually, but I noticed something change in her eyes...
“Then why don’t you just...take me...”
I stiffened, I had meant it as a question, but it came out almost like an invitation somehow. Jessica started drumming her fingers on the table, it was surprising, it seemed like the first nervous or impatient gesture I had ever seen her make. She still had that look in her eyes...then she noticed she was doing it and stopped, I watched her take a deep breath, and her face became an impenetrable mask yet again.
“Because I care about what you think, I want you to want it too, and I hope by going through this whole conversation without hypnotizing you I’ve proven that”
“You did hypnotize me though” she grinned
“yeah but but only for a second” She had another long drink from her glass, then finally said
“Well, I’ve told you what I want, so let me ask you: What do you want, Abby?” I was lost in thought
“I want...I want to hit the undo button...and forget any of this ever happened” she raised an eyebrow
“Oh really? and go back to how things were with Todd?”
“NO! well...I mean-”
“Why don’t you let me give it a shot, then you tell me if I’m wrong. I think what you really want is to be in control”
She paused as if waiting for a response, and when I gave her none, she carried on
“Earlier you told me you felt like your life was falling apart, I think I know why, you can’t help but stress over every little thing, you worry and fret until you start to fray at the edges and come apart.”
I remembered the state I was in the day I decided I had to do something about Todd, the fear...the crippling anxiety...the despair. I closed my eyes, tried to push the memory down...
“The world is a messy place...you just want something to hold onto, that's why you made your formula, as a last resort. Something secure, you need a shelter to weather the storm...” suddenly, I was angry
“Who are you, my therapist?” I snapped, she just smiled at me
“Well, am I wrong?”
I was not oblivious to my own problems, I know I worry too much, I know my anxiety is eating me from the inside out...But what did she know about it? she was always so perfectly calm, so in control...
“So what if you’re right?” I said, failing to keep my voice calm “What does it matter to you?”
“Because I can give you what you want”
Her eyes were boring holes right through me. I suddenly thought back to earlier today, lying on the couch looking up at her, she had my head in her hands...I felt warm...safe...loved. I tried to push it from my mind, but the warm feeling lingered in my chest
“You know I can Abby”
“But that’s not...it wasn’t real...you made me-”
“That’s right Abby, you were hypnotized, but you’re not hypnotized now, and you remember how it felt. When’s the last time you felt like that Abby?” she leaned closer,
“Give yourself to me Abby, give me control, I can take care of you...I want to take care of you” She pulled back
“I can’t force you, Abby...well no, that’s a lie. I could force you, for your own good, but I won’t” she got up, moved to the other side of the booth, and sat down across from me.
“So, it's time for you to make your choice. You can leave, and you’ll be done with me. I won’t come after you, I’ll stop coming to work, you won't have to see me again”
I looked out into the crowd, I imagined getting up and running away...
“Or” she continued “you can stay and let me take care of everything. I’ll take you home and you can be my little Princess...”
her eyes lost focus, she seemed...wistful
“It wouldn’t be all the time, I’d still let you be you. But you would always be mine. you would still worry, and be anxious, but you’d know deep down that no matter what happened, I was there, and that I would take care of you...”
She trailed off. and shook her head, as if to cast the thought aside. She doesn't think I will. I realized she’s preparing herself to be disappointed. She pulled out her phone and started tapping through it
“But it's up to you, take your time”
I stared at her, and for the first time of the night, I saw straight through her. She was pretending like she wasn’t paying attention, like she didn't care one way or the other, but she was waiting. Waiting for me to make my choice...I looked back into the crowd Just go... I thought A choice between losing your freewill and keeping it? it's hardly a choice at all... I suddenly felt free...like her attention had anchored me in place and now I was unmoored and drifting...It wasn’t as pleasant a feeling as I imagined it would be, I suddenly felt strangely lonely.
Nearly a minute had passed since she last spoke, but I hadn’t moved. I was overcome with my usual crippling indecisiveness. I found myself trying to formulate arguments to convince myself to leave.
“I...I have to leave”
I said aloud, as if trying to compel myself to action. Even to me the words sounded non committal, Jessica didn’t even look up. I found myself having to support the statement with reasoning.
“Because I...how do I know you won’t...abandon me?”
It occurred to me that this sounded like the argument of someone who wanted to stay, not wanted to leave. But I latched onto the idea
“Yeah...you would...you’d get bored of me after a while wouldn’t you? you’d just...get rid of me when you found someone better...” she looked up at that, her face unreadable as ever.
“I would never abandon you.”
“Sure you say that now...but you could always change your mind later...”
“I can’t prove it to you, I don’t have a crystal ball, I can’t show you the future, but I would not get rid of you. You’re irreplaceable...precious...but like I said, I can’t prove it. You would just have to trust me”
I shook my head...trust her? How could I possibly trust her after everything that happened...and yet, I already was trusting her...she told me I could leave if I wanted to, and I believed her...If that was true...maybe everything she said was true. I felt the anxiety bubbling in my gut again. Why was I still sitting here? I needed to leave...but why did the thought make me feel so empty? I remembered laying down on that couch again, being gently held...feeling so warm inside...I squeezed my eyes tight shut, trying to picture myself leaving. Getting up out of the booth, walking through the crowd, leaving through the front door, walking home, going to bed, alone. Putting this all behind me, forever. That’s what I wanted...right? I could feel the tension rising inside of me, I slid my feet back onto the seat, hugged my legs to my chest again. Is this what I want my life to be? could she really save me from this?...it was too good to be true. I began to admit to myself that perhaps, deep down, some part of me did want to stay with her. Why else would I be so indecisive? but it didn’t matter, what I wanted didn’t matter. I couldn’t stay because that’s just not how things work. It was time to leave.
But I didn’t, I just sat there, tension building up inside me…building…building, and then finally something broke, I felt words tumbling out of my mouth
“what if....what if I wanted to stay...but I knew I shouldn’t?” I felt myself go suddenly cold, sweat broke out all over my body. my guts turned to ice. her eyes were on me now, pinning me with the most intense gaze I'd ever been subjected to.
“Then you’d just need to say...’I want to stay with you Jessica’...”
I was frozen in place, but I felt my lips moving, forming the words
“I...want to stay with you Jessica” I couldn't believe myself...sure, maybe it was what I really wanted...but it seemed wrong somehow, like I wasn’t allowed to admit it.
"But I can't" I added pathetically.
She got up and walked around the table, then slowly sat down beside me again, like she was trying to get close to a bird without scaring it away. I barely even noticed I couldn’t believe what I had just said.
“Look at me, Abby” I did.
“Abby, I want you to say that your mine” I cast my eyes down, no longer able to meet the intensity of her gaze
“I’m yours” the words sounded hollow, why even bother? there was no way I could truly be free of it, the fear, the anxiety...Jessica didn’t seem bothered by my lack of enthusiasm she leaned in closer
“Abby, Say ‘I’m a good girl’”
“I’m…I’m a good girl”
“Less hesitation this time, Abby, say ‘I belong to you Mistress’ say it now”
“I belong to you Mistress” she let out a sigh of pleasure
“You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that when you don’t have too...” she moved even closer
“Say that you need me”
“I...I need you” I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I said it
“Good girl Abby, very good girl”
I felt such a deep self loathing that it hurt, this was pathetic, I was pathetic. I sniffed and felt a tear roll down my cheek. I looked back up at her, she was smiling, wide and warm.
“You've been such a good girl Abby, and you’ve had such a hard day, so many tough choices, so much thinking and worrying. but you were so brave, so honest...”
She raised her hand toward me, and stopped it, palm down right in front of my face
“It's all over now though, no more worrying, it's time for your reward for being such a good girl”
I stared at her hand uncomprehendingly, then I understood. I lowered my head and leaned toward her. She started gently running her hand through my hair, petting me. I felt shame welling up inside me...but then it was gone. Why couldn’t I just enjoy this? It felt nice. The world begin to shift around me, my body began to relax and my eyes slid shut
“That’s right, good girl, just let it all go, I’m here now, I’m taking care of you”
The anxious stabbing in my gut began to fade, it was still there, but it felt farther away somehow, less overwhelming...it was replaced by a warmth in my chest, and it was getting stronger and stronger. I leaned in closer to her, I felt her other hand on me now, pulling me, guiding me down. I felt something soft and warm against my face, I opened my eyes to find myself lying with my head in her lap. It felt lovely.
“Now” she said gently “let me take all your troubles away”
I started talking, telling her one by one about everything that had ever scared me, every stress, every worry. I poured them out to her like a tipped over glass. And to every one of my troubles, she had an answer. She would lean down and whisper into my ear, her hair would fall down and tickle my face, her perfume making me pleasantly dizzy each time. almost always she’d say something like
“that doesn’t matter anymore, I’m here now” or
“It's okay Princess it's okay, I’ll take care of everything” and with each warm whisper of reassurance, my anxiety slowly melted away until there was nothing left but the warmth.
“What am I going to tell my parents about this?”
“That you got a new girlfriend, of course”
“What will we do at work?”
“You don’t have to work anymore, you’ll live with me from now on”
Finally I said the one thing that still pricked at me, the fear I was sure even she couldn’t calm
“How do I know you won’t abandon me?”
“Because I said I won’t, and everything I say is the truth”
And that was that, it was irrefutable. I let the words spiral pleasantly in my mind wrapping around and around each other. She would never abandon me, because she said she wouldn't, and everything she says is true, everything she says is true because she says it is, and everything she says is true. For a while I just laid there quietly, not falling asleep, just resting, my body curled up, my head on her lap, my nose pressed into her stomach. I felt like I could stay there forever.
“Now Princess...could you say those words for me again? tell me what a good girl you are”
“I’m a good girl” the words felt different this time, they were sweet on my lips
“Say you belong to Mistress”
“I belong to Mistress"
“good girl, now say “I will obey”
“I will obey” I felt myself sigh with pleasure as the words came out. it was so easy, it felt so good to just do as she said...
“Very good, say them all again for me”
“I’m a good girl, I belong to Mistress, I will obey.”
I shuddered and without prompting I said them again, and again, and again. Each repetition earned me a shower of “good girl” and “very good Princess” and “Mistress loves you” so I just kept saying it. every time the words seemed more true, more fundamental to who I was. Soon they had replaced every thought in my head,
“I’m a good girl, I belong to Mistress, I will obey”
the words fell apart in my mouth, just a series of sounds with no meaning, still I murmured them, too quietly for anyone but myself to hear...we stayed like that a long while, other people approached the table, spoke with Mistress, she spoke back to them, but none of those words could reach me where I was, lost in bliss and warm feelings.
After a long time, I felt something else, something that maybe could have been called a worry if I didn’t feel so warm and safe
How do I repay her for this? How could I ever?
I thought about it for a long time, then I remembered the way she had looked at me before, the hunger… and I knew exactly what I wanted to give her. I nuzzled into her lap, and then pushed deeper between her legs. Mistress had made me so happy, I needed to make her happy, I needed to prove that I was a good girl, that I belonged to Mistress, that I would obey. I felt her breathing quicken for a moment, I nuzzled again, making absolutely clear what I wanted. She yanked me up out of her lap and before I knew it she was carrying me. I was limp in her arms.
Not long after we were in a storage closet of some kind. She grabbed me, pulled me up and practically slammed me into the wall, I let out a gasp, and she kissed me, I whimpered as she gently bit my lip. I was gasping for breath when she finally pulled away. She whispered to me
“I thought I could wait until we got home but...” she kissed me again, the warmth between my legs was quickly becoming a wet unbearable heat.
“Please” I said when she released my mouth again “please...I need-”
“Shhhh, look at my needy little Abby, You know as much as I love to pamper my little Princess…she’s just a little too pure…too innocent…”
She pressed a hand to the inside of my thigh, my legs wobbled. then she put her hands on my shoulders, pushing me.
“On your knees now, that’s a good girl” she pulled my shirt over my head as I slid downward. I grabbed her belt, pulling at it...
“Hmm not yet pretty girl, up here” she placed a finger under my chin and tilted my head upwards, my arms fell obediently to my sides as I met her eyes
“Such a good needy little girl, why don’t you say those words I like to hear again?”
“I am a good girl, I belong to Mistress, I will obey” she let out a sigh,
“Very good, how about some new words...say ‘I’m a horny little slut and I need your pussy Mistress’ say it over and over again”
“I’m a horny little slut and I need your pussy Mistress”
Again with each repetition, the words became more true. as I spoke she slowly took off her belt and unbuttoned her pants, finally she was satisfied
“Good girl, go ahead then”
I didn’t hesitate. I have foggy memories of the rest of that event. I remember it being…frantic. for a while, I forgot that there could be anything else but this. when she was satisfied, she laid me down on the ground, one arm around my neck, cradling my head, pulling me into her kisses, the other hand was down my pants...I only lasted a moment before I went limp in her arms, gasping for breath.
And then it was over. She picked me up and carried me out, like I barely weighed a thing. Exhausted, I finally fell asleep in her arms while she was calling a cab to take me to my new home...