Lily was slightly dazed. The psychiatrist session she had with Mordana left her thinking about all sorts of things. She didn’t even realize how disconnected she was from reality until Silwey stopped walking, making her bump right into the 3 metre tall woman. 

 

“O-oh s-sorry! I-I didn’t notice you stop.” Lily said, taking a few steps back and looking like a lost puppy apologizing to the person they just wronged. 

 

Silwey on the other hand found this all very amusing. “You okay darling?” She simply asked as she offered her vines for Lily to take as to not get lost. 

 

That evoked a whole lot of blushy feelings in the young Terran as she quickly grabbed hold of the vine and tucked it close to her body. “I-I umm.. I guess I’m just thinking about the session I had with Miss Mordana…” Lily admitted slowly tucking herself a bit closer to Silwey as they walked. Her eyes looked around the busy streets they were passing when her eyes met someone’s gaze. She didn’t think much of it at first but then it happened again! Another set of eyes were peered at her. Lily didn’t know what was going on but her body instinctively tucked just a little closer to the Affini besides her wondering what on earth people were staring at. More eyes kept locking on the duo and Lily needed to think of something else to distract herself from them. 

 

“Miss Mordana asked me to get to know you better… B-but I felt like I did know you fairly well.” Lily said, breaking the silence between the two. “D-do you know what she might have had in mind?” 

 

“Mordana did?” Silwey simply hummed as her strides continued to carry her towards her next location. “I’m not quite sure what she might have meant by that, but I suppose we can talk about it after we’re done with this next meeting.” She chimed and gently rubbed Lily’s cheek to satisfy her curiosity for a bit. 

 

Lily gave a shivering nod as that affectionate brush came over her cheek. How was it that she liked it so much? Was she just that touch starved throughout her life that even a xeno’s touch shot up her endorphin? Lily didn’t want to think about it. Surely she was just imagining things. Silwey was just being nice to her, that’s all. 

 

“Ummm… a-also!” Lily chirped up again remembering something else. “She mentioned there was progress with my transition? I didn’t understand what she meant by that, I've only been on it for a week so far…” She said, a bit concerned as to what the Affini spoke about. 

 

“Hmmm… Perhaps you should be more observant of your own beauty.” Silwey simply spoke. That melodic tone made Lily stutter a few breaths in again as she tried her best not to trip over literally nothing on the new pavement. 

 

Before Lily could say something in her flustered mess Silwey already stopped in front of a rather elaborate Affini building. The girl had to pause for a second trying to decide what she was looking at before realizing this was the location of the parliament building. Her eyes widened in disbelief seeing the absolute awe at how much it changed. “Silwey that-”

 

Silwey however didn’t listen. She was already pressed on time and the others were most likely waiting on her. “Come along Lilyan, we have a meeting to attend.” 

 

Lily was slightly taken aback by how her words were cut short as she was pulled along. Suppose they would talk when this is over… Lily was at least glad of that. Her head kept turning however as she wanted to take in the sights only to notice another gaze on her. 

 

Strange…

 

Lily couldn’t shake the thought out of her mind. Even as the drug worked its magic inside her, nor when Silwey brushed her chin while discussing… probably important topics, with her other Affini co-workers. Everything was discussed in their Affini language. Of course it was. Lily couldn’t participate even if she wanted to. Her best option was just to sit there and watch the large masses of vines converse and wave their hands around emphasising things. 

 

Lily went around looking at each individual. They all introduced themselves to her. She remembered that much, but names were still hard to store in her memory. How was she so bad at it? At least they were nice? They were excited to talk to her and introduce themselves. Let’s see… That one on the far left… that one was… Nel.. Netle? Netlene? She was nice. Probably the first one that greeted her before the rest of the flock stormed around her. The one beside her was… Amer.. Aymer? It was starting to get hard to recall Lily’s eyes began to lose focus as she looked to the next one. Her intensive stare to try and make out the shape incited a surprised look back from the Affini. One that quickly turned into growing concern. Lily didn’t know why the look until her vision clouded up more and a few drops fell from her chin.

Oh. She was crying. How silly of her of course it was going to happen sooner or later today. Lily tried her best to rub the tears away but the more she did the more tears streamed down her face. Her involuntary crying began to attract more looks from other Affini, bewildered by the site beside Silwey. Lily sniffled a few times before deciding that this meeting should have her in it. She was a distraction and it bothered them as much as it bothered her. “I-I’ll go wait outside.” Lily sniffled, covering her nose to keep the flooding at bay. 

 

“Lily, wait…” Silwey spoke, wrapping a vine around her friend.

 

“N-No, no! I-It’s okay… I don’t wish to distract you guys while you work…” Lily subbed out a protest, trying to excuse herself from the meeting. “I-I’ll be fine!” She added, trying to reassure Silwey. 

 

The Affini woman simply sighed in response, unable to let go of her constant worries about the Terran. “Stay safe for me dear.” She finally caved, brushing a vine over Lily’s cheek to wipe away the tears. 

 

Lily stuttered out a breath as she leaned in a little into the vine just to rub her face up against it. That sure triggered a few ‘d’awwww’s out of the crowd as they saw the adorable scene.

 

 “I- You know I will.” Lily spoke, giving a happy smile. “I’ll wait outside.” She said, breaking into an almost skittish run to get away from the group. Anything to hide her tears from them. They were such a pain, always making her look like a cry baby even now when she was an adult. 

 

Lily took a few twists and turns and sure enough found herself outside the new parliament building. Her feet didn’t stop however as she just needed to get a few more feet. A corner, anything where she could lean on and hide her tears. 

 

But as her anxiety began to build up so did the drug’s effect numbing her senses. Lily didn’t even notice that she chose to lean on the metallic looking plaque bound to a marble slab in front of the building. She didn’t even notice the people walking past her and giving her strange looks. Her vision was just blurry as tears continued to stream down her face leaving the girl in a pitiful monotone emotional state with nothing to cry about. Shit… Was this just the lowest point since taking those drugs? Perhaps Mordana was right… She should have stayed on her stronger dose. It was easier. Simpler. She felt happy even if there was some minor delay in her reactions.

 

Her head leaned sideways onto the reflective plaque. She felt out of breath yet she was still full of energy. Come to think of it… Mordana… She said something about her transitioning drug right? That there was progress? And Silwey spoke about something to do with her own beauty… Lily pushed herself away from the marble block before turning around to look at herself in the slightly distorted reflection. But to *really* take a good look at herself. Something was off. Or rather something didn’t seem right. Lily rubbed her eyes to try and clear up her vision only to see a stranger looking back at her in the reflection. Was… This her? Her skin looked just a little bit more… silky… Her complexion was soft and the overall shape felt… slimmer. Lily continued to look into the makeshift mirror. Unable to recognise the person standing in it. Yet she was so pretty… it was everything she ever dreamed of… it felt like it was leaps and bounds further from what Lily thought her look would settle in once she transitioned fully. She looked… So female like.

 

Her hands came up to cup her own cheeks. Still trying to decide if this was some kind of a sick joke and the plaque only showed her what she wanted to see. But the more she looked the more she was convinced that it was actually her. Her reflection. She didn’t even notice it when a figure approached her. She didn’t even notice anything that was going around her as those slightly glassy eyes completely locked onto the image in the reflection. She didn’t even notice it when-

 

“Hey you!” A deep voice snapped her out of the day dream she created. Her shoulder firmly grabbed as a man leaned in with a serious look in his eyes. “Who was the Affini that you just walked in with?” 

 

“W-wh?” Lily was taken aback by the strange man that confronted her. 

 

“Who was it?!” The man shook Lily, demanding a name. “And stop crying, snap out of it! They’re playing with you!” He hissed, looking nervously around for any Affini personnel. 

 

“U-umm h-her name i-is Silwey.” She said, concerned as to why the man was so irritated. Or… rather looked that way. “A-And s-sorry I c-can’t really control this… I-it’s a condition…” She added trying to wipe away her tears while backing up to have her shoulder released. 

 

“What?! No! Who is it? Is it in high command? This is their building!” The man shouted under his breath as he started to get irritated by the slow pace Lily was speaking in.

 

“I-I-I don’t… W-wha?” Lily was starting to get confused. But her eyes began to gain their vision again as they focused up on the face in front of her. Her right hand quickly came up to tear the man’s grip on her shoulder. She was in disbelief as her legs slowly stepped backwards. 

 

The man didn’t falter however. He continued to approach her. “I’m telling you this is the weeds - star damned - high command!” He said starting to get pissed off. “W-wait… You wouldn’t happen to be its *pet,* would you?” The man said, pinning Lily against the plague.

 

“C-Captain w-what the h-hell is wrong with you?!” Lily finally blurred out, pushing the man away and taking a few more steps back. Her eyes wide open seeing the man she worked for reduced… to an ungroomed mess. What was he doing here? Wasn’t the captain one of the people on the list of captured combatants? Wasn’t he supposed to be in domestication right now? Was he eating properly? He didn’t seem like he had a lot of weight.

 

“Wait… William?” The captain hissed. Lily sure as hell flinched to that. Her dead name She wanted to say something but her words were stuck in her throat. His eyes lit up seeing the girl in front of him. 

 

The shock of seeing his old subordinate reduced to such a state quickly subsided however. As he grabbed her hand. “Come with me! Taking you would give them a massive blow. If anything at least we’ll detoxify you from their shitty weed induced drugs.”

Lily quickly slipped out of his clutches. All that training in the academy was good for something at least. “Go with you where!? I’m happy here, captain. The Affini helped me so much.” She protested, already turning away from him to make a run for it to the building. “Goodby-” 

 

BANG! BANG! 

 

Screams echoed through the streets as people ran away from the gunfire. Lily however couldn’t hear any of it. Her ears were shot, eardrums slightly ruptured from the unexpected gunfire. Her eyes opened wide in disbelief. Warmth trickled down her belly that soon turned into pain. like a river who's dam just got breached. Making her collapse on the floor. There was red, so much red on the white marble stairs. Pooling beneath her and trickling down the stairs like a river. She couldn't make out anything. People were running away but why wasn't anyone coming to help? Only whimpers could be heard from her, as one of her lungs got punctured in the process. The fear in her eyes as she saw the man looming above her already holding a piece of cloth in his hands. “This is for your own good, William.” he said before everything went dark.

'cold...'