"Is this the Linux User Group?" She sticks her snout past the threshold and looks around. A dozen or so folks sit around the conference table. Well, some of them happen to be slumped in a way that makes them stay in the chair. Some are leaning against each other, a few are making out, and one lies face down on their seat, tail happily swishing back and forth.

Our darling big gay princess skunk waves from the table's far end. The way she smiles, you'd hardly guess there's folks under the skirt, enjoying skunk dick and getting Debian installed. The lucky ones have their noses right at the base of faer cock for maximum mind-melting musk.

"Well." Fae explains, wheeling back to the whiteboard and leaving all but the most dedicated brainfucked cocksluts horny and drooling on the floor. "You just missed the vote- we unanimously agreed to become the Linux Use Her Group. Of course, we welcome all kinds of pronouns here, but, you know."

A few confused blinks and a paw pressed against her chest. "I-I do?"

"Oh, good! We get to explain. Class?" Grace snaps faer claw and the room speaks in happy unison.

"Women will literally install Debian!"

The giggly ponygirl with red spirals in her eyes and on her flank keeps repeating it. It's only muffled a little when a big titty goth snake coils her up to resume their makeout/kernel upgrade session.

"Oh, great!" Our guest, undeterred, starts rooting around in her bag. "I've gotten pretty sick of the corporate software world. All the privacy scandals are coming to a head and I'm tired of the 'someone got a promotion for making it worse' cycle."

"You know what they say. The best time to install Linux was probably not twenty years ago. Things were pretty rough back then. There's honestly never been a better time to at least dip your toe bean in the water."

"I'm excited! Will this Debian I've heard so much about run on my laptop?"

"They don't call it the universal operating system for nothing! It really shines on servers, but it has its place on desktops, laptops, single-board computers, and brains." That big, soft skunk tail scoops up one of the rank and file by the chin to better show off their face. Nice, pink circuit heart in one eye and a telltale red spiral in the other. A soft, blissful "women will literally install Debian" trickles out of their mouth on a loop. "We can start with the computer and see where it goes.", Grace laughs.

She glances to Grace for permission and gingerly cups the cow's chin. One of her tails bristles with a pang of… "Honestly, now that I know it's an option, I'm kind of curious. Or jealous?"

"If it helps, everyone here's dual-booting except the lifers. When the meeting ends in an hour, everyone reboots and goes back to their lives. No commitment, feel free to reclaim that part of your brain with a thought if you change your mind."

"Instead of you changing it?"

"Ayyyyyyy!"

"Ayyyyy!"

"So, what do you say? Leave your laptop with one of our eminently qualified Debian drones while you take the plunge?"

Our guest drums her claws against her laptop's shiny silver-plastic shell and looks to the drones. Two stand idly at attention, one's getting its kernel upgraded by a snake and a horse, and the other three take turns checking on the blissed-out bodies strewn across the room. Even Debian-installed women rarely want to wake up dehydrated and bruised.¹ "Fuck it. Let's go."

"Excellent taste, dear." A wave of the claw and a quick encrypted data burst get the idle drones beeping to life. "Palladium. Tungsten. Womanhood emulation layers.² Install Sunset stable for my friend here."

Palladium and Tungsten beep affirmatively. Pink-tinted text scrolls up their visors. Their breasts and bulges grow a cup size each. They emit a cheery "ding!" in unison as (she/her) appears after their hostnames. Tungsten holds a hand out for the laptop while Palladium fetches a flash drive from her Princess's tail.

Our Debian-curious visitor hands over her laptop and watches the drone duo carry it off. She focuses her attention on the skunk. "So, how does this happen? Do you stick a drive in my ear or what?"

Another laugh. One that really shows off how sharp her teeth are. Our guest is pretty sure she knows what this pang is.

"I think we can have more fun than that." The cow gets a smooch on the nose before they're transferred from tail to cock. Grace rubs one of their horns while their nose settles beneath faer balls. That soft, circuit-print tail brushes up against the guest's chin. She lets herself lean forward and take a nice, deep breath in.

As the tail slowly coils into place, Tungsten makes a three-tone "buh-bi-deep!" for Princess's attention.

"Oh, right. Desktop environment." Grace's claw gingerly lifts the guest out of faer tail by her chin. "Dragons or bunnies, dear?"

"Mmmmmm, dragons hot." She snuggles up against the claw. "Skunk hotter, though~"

"Damn right." Face returns to tail, all's right with the world. "Hook our friend up with KDE.³ Nothing wrong with GNOME,⁴ but she's made her choice. Don't worry, dear. It's the last decision you'll have to make for a while."

The guest nods and sinks right back into that tail. That's probably a nod. It's hard to tell the difference when she's more concerned with trying to get as much Princess fur pressed against her body as possible. There's a happy little moan with some agreeable tones.

Princess's snout drifts ever closer to the guest's cute little ears. Sharp teeth and dextrous tongue settle into place. "And reboop." Princess's claw playfully pokes that snout. A gasp escapes her lungs, her eyelids flutter shut, and her body finally stops pretending it belongs anywhere but Princess's all-consuming tail. She settles into the sweet spot and drifts away. Another boop brings her about ten percent back to wakefulness before a well-timed tweak to the right ear sends her into the boot menu. Her eyes flash through the UEFI⁵ menu as Princess whispers some sweet, soothing information-dense static in her other ear. Just enough to get Debian: Woman Edition flashing across her eyes and finishing the job.

Women will literally install Debian, after all.

She'll have the sticker to prove it.

Originally published at https://perfect.hypnovir.us/women-will-literally-install-debian