Laurel Lane sped down the six-lane highway.

 

Like most days, she was late to work. Her habit of working into the wee hours of the morning usually resulted in her sleeping through her alarm. On Mondays, after she had the weekend to rest, she usually only slept through her 7am. Once the work week had caught up to her (say around Wednesday), she would sleep well past her fourth alarm—8:30. On Fridays like today she ended up snoozing her alarm so many times that it was 10am before she finally sprinted out of her townhouse.

 

She had stayed up until 4am this morning. Finally, after months, she had gotten a solid lead in her case—a lead that might finally get her that damn promotion. Thank God for dj99.

 

She weaved in and out of traffic, honking her horn several times throughout.

 

 

Laurel had moved into Maple Mews, a sleepy suburb 15 miles outside of the city, at the behest of her older sister, Katie. She could hear Katie now: “You work too much, Laurel. You need to take care of yourself, Laurel. You need to get more sleep, Laurel!” Convinced that Laurel was wasting away in the city, Katie had begged her to move in with her. Katie’s townhouse was nice, Laurel could admit, and Maple Mews was far quieter than her old street in Spring City. But this damn traffic was killing her.

 

She flew by a billboard advertising Barrett & Co.’s consulting agency, featuring a middle-aged man’s smiling face and the gigantic words “When negotiations get tough, call Grennon Barrett!” There were three or four of these billboards along her commute, and Laurel resolved that if she ever met Mr. Barrett in person—and saw that stupid grin of his in real life—she would immediately slap the shit out of him. She glanced at the clock: 10:05. Another billboard for Felix Fertility flew past her, and she suddenly felt grateful that she was only 25. Freezing your eggs is expensive, and her job at the Monroe Bureau of Investigation didn’t pay that well.

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” She pressed on the gas and darted past an 18-wheeler. “Jacobson is gonna kill me,” she said, finally reaching her exit. Although the sign at the exit said “25 MPH”, she took the turn going approximately 50.

 

After a few more minutes of stop-and-go traffic, she finally reached downtown Spring City. She peeled into her parking garage. The headquarters of Monroe Bureau of Investigation was incredibly ugly. “Fugly,” as Laurel described it to her friends. A square, brutalist building made out of concrete, it looked like an architect had designed it to serve as a fortress rather than an office building.

 

She walked through the front doors of the building and was greeted by a large black security guard. “Good morning, John,” she said, trying to sound cheerful. “Good morning, Agent Lane,” he replied. He glanced at his watch. She placed her bag on the conveyor belt.

 

“Late again,” he chuckled, ushering her through the metal detector.

 

“One of these days I’m going to be on time, John.”

 

“Sure,” he shrugged. “You just seem to be getting worse.”

 

“Late night.”

 

“Uh huh. Jacobson was asking about you.”

 

“Shit,” she muttered, then ran to the elevator.

 

She took it up to the ninth floor. The metallic walls of the elevator gave off an uncanny reflection. She could see her long red hair and her bright green eyes. She wore a black blazer over a white blouse, black tie, and pencil skirt. She was tall—5’11” the last time they measured at the doctor’s office—although the elevator walls made her look short and stout, as if she were in the Hall of Mirrors at the Monroe State Fair.

 

Her mind returned to last night. She tried to remember the exact words. They were important. Several weeks ago, someone had sent in an anonymous online tip to the MBI, something crazy about Russian spies and mind control. Obviously, the agent who entered the tip into the system didn’t think much of it, and Laurel had only stumbled upon it through one of her late-night, insomnia-induced work sessions.

 

The person who submitted the tip referred to themselves as dj99. They left an email address. Laurel had shot them an email around 2am this morning, figuring they would respond later in the day, perhaps when Laurel returned from work. But dj99 responded to Laurel’s email within ten minutes, providing a link to a secure chatroom they could use to talk. There, they launched into a lengthy conspiracy theory about a Russian sleeper cell operating out of some warehouse north of the city.

 

The elevator came to a stop. A computer-generated female voice announced, “Counterintelligence Division,” and the elevator doors opened.

 

***

 

 

Gently brushing her hands against Maria’s breasts, Nurse Nadya attached the final EKG sensor to her chest. Maria’s small, pink nipples were still hard from the cold air of the operating room. The nurse was grateful that nipples could still get hard while patients were under general anesthesia, and she gave them a little flick while Dr. Popov’s back was turned.

 

Maria didn’t protest. They had given her a strong chemical cocktail that was keeping her brain shut off. Like most patients under general anesthesia, her eyes were not completely closed; Nurse Nadya could see a small bit of blue between her lids.

 

When Dr. Popov turned back around he was holding a gas mask. He placed it over Maria’s sleeping face for the pre-oxygenation. He briefly held Maria’s lower jaw—her mouth had fallen open when she went under—so that it fit within the gas mask. He had pushed 38mg of rocuronium bromide, a muscle relaxant, a few moments ago and waited for the neuromuscular blockade to take effect.

 

Dr. Popov removed the mask and tested the onset of the muscle relaxants by pulling Maria’s mouth open. Her jaw muscles didn’t resist, and he was able to pull her mouth open to an almost comical extent. He was often amazed at how much you could stretch a patient’s jaw when they were knocked out.

 

Nurse Nadya watched him. “Open wide, honey,” she said. Then, whispering to herself, “Something tells me you’ll be hearing those words a lot more often now.”

 

Dr. Popov retrieved a laryngeal mask from the cart. They would need to intubate Maria in order to ensure proper airflow and keep her sedated through the use of sevoflurane, an inhaled anesthetic gas.

 

Dr. Popov lifted Maria’s chin up, then used his right-hand fingers to push her lower jaw down, opening her mouth wide. With his left hand, he inserted the laryngeal mask into Maria’s mouth. He inserted his right index finger into her mouth as well, pushing the tube deep into her throat. Maria was now successfully intubated, and Dr. Popov connected the airway to the anesthesia cart. The machine would continuously pump sevoflurane into her lungs, keeping her unconscious for the remainder of the NIRA implantation.

 

Maria’s full, pink lips wrapped themselves around the airway tube. Dr. Popov opened her both of her eyelids next, looking into the deep blue eyes that stared upwards but saw nothing. Her pupils were dilated. He shined a small light into both eyes but they did not react, indicating that drugs flowing through her system had disabled her pupillary light reflex. He taped her eyes shut with a medical adhesive.

 

“Okay, let’s move her into the prone position now.”

 

Being careful not to dislodge any EKG sensors or the airway tube, Dr. Popov and Nurse Nadya slowly turned Maria so that she was now lying on her stomach.

 

“Nurse Nadya, please prepare the site of the cervical implantation. I will do the same with the posterior site.”

 

The nurse groaned in her head. Although she was trained to implant both the cervical and posterior NIRA modules, Dr. Popov always reserved the latter for himself. She could only guess why. She started brushing Maria’s long blonde hair away, trying to get a clear site when the back of her head met her neck.

 

While the nurse busied herself with the cervical site, the doctor began the posterior site prep. The operating table was an incredibly versatile contraption. With the push of a button the hydraulic lift mechanism raised Maria’s ass up so that her body made a 90-degree angle. At the same time, Dr. Popov tucked away the part of the table holding her legs. In its place, two hydraulic leg rests swung out from underneath the table. He grabbed her right leg, stretching it as far to the right as it would go, and placed it on the leg rest. After tying her right leg down with a leather strap, he did the same with her left leg. Dr. Popov could now stand between her legs for the procedure, giving him excellent visibility and access.

 

He heard a soft buzzing sound. Looking over her ass, Dr. Popov saw Nurse Nadya shaving a small section on the back of Maria’s head. They were always careful to conceal this incision as best as they could.

 

He walked over to one of the medical carts and retrieved a bottle of medical-grade lubricant. It was standard procedure to conduct a pelvic examination prior to beginning the NIRA implantation. He resumed his position in between Maria’s legs, immediately in front of her ass. He pulled the pelvic examination cart up behind him for easy access.

 

Maria’s pink asshole and pussy were in clear view. Her legs were stretched wide enough that he didn’t need to pull her ass cheeks apart to get a peek. A quick visual examination confirmed Maria was healthy on the exterior. But he would, of course, need to check internally as well.

 

Dr. Popov turned towards the cart to put on a pair of blue latex gloves. He had large hands, and wore XL gloves. After gloving up, he applied a liberal amount of lube to his right index and middle finger. Setting the lube to the side, he turned around to face Maria, or, rather, Maria’s ass.

 

Bending over slightly to get a better view, he slowly inserted two fingers into Maria’s pink opening. He savored the moment, going inch by inch until his fingers were inserted all the way into her vagina. He pressed down towards her stomach, checking to make sure her inner walls were healthy. There had been no complaint from Maria this whole time; she remained completely unconscious, not moving or making a sound. He turned his hand around so that his palm was facing upwards and felt the upper wall of her vagina, towards her ass. It would be better if all women were sedated for their gynecological appointments, Dr. Popov thought. It would remove all the anxiety from the visits—a win-win for both doctors and patients.

 

He slowly pulled his fingers out of her hole. He turned back towards the medical cart and picked up a speculum. As Dr. Popov spread lube over the metal, its stainless steel reflected the bright overhead lights. He then turned around and prepared to insert the speculum. “You’ll have to open these lips wide for me as well,” he said, gently inserting the tool into her vagina. Once it was in to the hilt, he opened the speculum, widening her vagina so that he could see inside. He shined a small light inside. As he had assumed, the walls of her vagina looked pink and healthy.

 

Leaving the speculum where it was, he turned back to the cart and lubricated his fingers once again. Turning back towards Maria, he found himself grinning. He thought it was a good thing he was wearing a mask, otherwise Nurse Nadya would think he was a freak. Regardless, this was his favorite part.

 

With his lubricated index finger, he began to slowly circle around Maria’s pink asshole. When his patients were knocked out, their assholes didn’t pucker during the application of the cold lubricant. “No, you’re nice and relaxed,” he whispered. He was still slowly circling around her hole, gently applying more and more pressure. Of course, this was more flirtation than necessary—now that she was under general anesthesia her sphincter would be totally relaxed, none of that foreplay you need with a conscious person was necessary. After relishing the moment for a few more seconds, Dr. Popov began sliding his lubed finger into her pink asshole.

 

As he knew would happen, her sphincter offered no resistance, giving way beneath his finger immediately. Despite its relaxed state, it was still quite tight, hugging his finger as each inch of it slid in. Once the full length of his finger was in her ass, he slowly pumped it in and out a few times for good measure. Her ass yielded to his finger, offering no resistance as Maria slept peacefully. The only sound he heard was Nurse Nadya quietly working on the cervical implantation.

 

Suddenly, the doctor heard a loud beep as one of the doors to the operating room opened.

 

Without looking up, he said, “How many times do I have to tell you damn twins to stay out of here while the implantation is underway?”

 

A woman’s voice answered him, “Sorry, Doctor, I just had a message for you.”

 

The female voice startled him. He quickly pulled his finger out of Maria’s ass and looked over towards the door. A tall brunette stood there.

 

“Ah, Irina. Uh, Ms. Nikitina, rather. What message?”

 

“Mr. Orlov wants a status update on the implantation.” Irina’s eyes darted back and forth between Dr. Popov and Maria’s nude form.

 

“What?” he asked. Orlov never asked for status updates, besides, there was something else odd…

 

Nurse Nadya spoke up, “You shouldn’t have access to this room. Who gave you the door code?”

 

She’s right, thought Popov.

 

Irina shrugged, “Orlov gave me the code. He wants an update.”

 

“That’s ‘Mr. Orlov’ to you,” Dr. Popov hissed. “Tell Fyodor that the implantation is going like every other procedure I’ve done: smoothly. And tell him I don’t appreciate the question.”

 

“Will do, sir,” she said, finally peeling her eyes off of Maria’s elevated ass. She quickly turned around and walked out of the operating room, shutting the door behind her.

 

“Security is getting lax around here,” said Nurse Nadya. “An office worker walking in on a NIRA implantation? Have you ever heard of such a thing?”

 

“I will bring it up with Fyodor later,” said Dr. Popov. Nadya was right, the whole interaction had spooked him.

 

He shook himself off and turned to the cart. Dr. Popov grabbed a slightly smaller speculum, lubed it up, and turned back around to face Maria’s ass. “One more,” he said, gently inserting it into Maria’s ass. He slowly opened the speculum, allowing Dr. Popov a small glimpse inside. Maria’s most private areas were now spread open before the doctor, with speculums in both her ass and pussy.

 

Given that his patients usually weren’t given the heads up that they needed to fast for 24 hours prior to their “job interview,” the next step in the posterior implantation was an enema. Dr. Popov brought over the colonic irrigation unit, which had a long tube wrapped around the side of the machine. He grabbed the end of the tube and fed it through the anal speculum. Once it was inside, he pressed a button on the machine that inflated the inserted end so that it was lodged in place. Once this was complete, Dr. Popov pressed another button which started the irrigation sequence. This would take a few minutes, so he walked towards Maria’s head where Nurse Nadya was working.

 

“How’s it going?”

 

“Good, I’m almost done.”

 

He bent over. “Your incisions are getting smaller and cleaner. Good job.”

 

“Thank you. Although with the latest model it doesn’t seem like the size of the incisions will matter.”

 

He smiled. “You’re correct that NIRA v3 interferes with an asset’s ability to perceive the cervical scar,” he shrugged. “When they touch the scar with their fingers, the NIRA tricks their brain into thinking it’s normal skin. But, still, the smaller the better. We don’t want some hairdresser to make a comment while the assets are lucid.”

 

“There we go,” said Nurse Nadya, closing the small incision with a medical-grade glue. “This adhesive should dissolve naturally in the coming days.”

 

A beep alerted Dr. Popov that the colonic irrigation was complete. He walked back over to Maria’s ass, deflated the inserted end, and pulled the tube out of her ass. He pushed away the colonic irrigation unit and pulled over the NIRA posterior implantation unit. Her grabbed a small cylindrical device off the cart. It was metallic and a little smaller than an AAA battery. This was the posterior module. It would be attached to the end of a specially designed colonoscope—a long, flexible tube about the width of a finger. At the end it had a small camera and a magnet with which to attach the posterior module.

 

Dr. Popov snapped the posterior module to the end of the colonoscope and slowly began inserting the tube into Maria’s ass. The posterior implantation unit had a monitor attached that allowed him to see inside her as her manipulated the tube. After a couple of minutes, Dr. Popov reached the appropriate site of the implantation—what he had nicknamed the “P(opov) Spot.” Once the posterior module was implanted here, the NIRA would be connected to both ends of Maria’s spine, ensuring complete control over her nervous system. Once he had the tip of the colonoscope aligned correctly, he pressed a button which turned off the magnetic end and inserted the posterior module into the P Spot.

 

After confirming that the module was securely in place, he began slowly removing the colonoscope from Maria’s ass. He pulled inch after inch of tube out of her pink hole, which was still held open with the speculum. When the full length of the colonoscope was finally out of her, he pushed away the posterior implantation unit. He then gently removed both the vaginal and anal speculum, watching Maria’s asshole slowly close. And then, as was custom, he signaled that the procedure was complete by giving Maria a firm slap on the ass.

 

Hearing the sound, Nurse Nadya looked over and rolled her eyes. She was sitting in a corner of the operating room, having finished the cervical implantation several minutes earlier.

 

She stood up and helped Dr. Popov convert the operating table back to normal, flipping Maria onto her back again. Nurse Nadya removed the IV while Dr. Popov started dissembling the airway tubes, pulling the laryngeal mask out of Maria’s throat and through her mouth. He pulled off the tape on her eyelids and her eyes returned to their slit form, allowing Dr. Popov to catch a hint of her blue eyes. He then walked over and pressed a button on the wall to let Boris and Oleg know that the procedure was complete.

 

After a short wait, the two men walked into the operating room.

 

“Get a blanket on her and let her sleep off the anesthesia. She’ll be out for a couple hours. We won’t activate the NIRA until she wakes up.”

 

He watched the orderlies push Maria out of the operating room. Another implantation complete. His mouth stretched into a huge grin underneath his mask.

 

“I can’t wait to meet the new Ms. Miller.”