Emily lay awake on her back, in bed, staring up at her phone. Having learned from the previous night, she wasn't making noise and keeping Grendel up this time. Instead she was intent on the screen and the screen alone. 

She'd dug through her text messages earlier and found the one where Chris' girlfriend's friend sent her Tammy's number. From there it was a simple task to put the girl's information into her phone as a contact once again. She'd finished doing so around seven  PM, two and a half hours ago, while she was eating dinner. From there she was left fighting the urge to text Tammy. What was there to say? She hadn't suffered from...what did Tammy call it? Subdrop? Yes, she nodded silently to herself, subdrop, that's what Tammy had called it. 

But she was still...a little hurt. She'd been scared, she remembered wanting Tammy to try and explain things to her, but Tammy couldn't. She had class, of course, Emily would never advocate skipping it over something like this…

Her phone beeped.

"Hey!"  A text message read. Emily's heart sprang up in her chest, only to fall when she saw the name attached: Lana. It was her eldest sister, not Tammy. She groaned slightly, more annoyed with herself than with this. "How's college going?" 

"Good." Emily replied after hesitating for a second. Not twenty seconds later she got another beep, and another message to accompany it. 

"Yay! You're not partying too much are you?" Emily stifled a laugh under her breath. "You know how dad is. Schoolwork not too rough?" 

"No!" Emily replied. "We're in like week three it's fiiiiine."

"If you say so, Lil Miss." Emily rolled her eyes. She could practically hear the encouraging yet slightly patronizing bite behind Lana's voice. 

"What are you doing up, Lana?" Emily teased back with a mischievous grin. "I thought you said there was nothing to do at home but sleep." 

"Ha ha ha, very funny Emily. I got in a fight with dad about Gregor and I can't sleep." Emily frowned. 

"What was he mad about?"

"I'm not telling you over a text message." There was something worrying about both the swiftness with which that reply arrived-almost instantaneously, it felt like-and its brusk, no-nonsense tone. As if to mollify her, next was a little emote of a smiley face pouting with extreme prejudice. 

"If you in...SISt." Emily tried not to laugh at her obvious genius. When no reply seemed to come she felt guilty. Her fingers danced about, trying to find the right combination of letters and punctuation to form a decent apology. 

"I do indeed in-SISt, Little Miss, and it's past your bedtime." 

"No it isn't!" Emily practically snarled at her phone this time. "I'm an adult! I don't NEED a bedtime!!" She hoped her playfulness would get across. Her sister could be...lackluster at picking it up sometimes. "I love you Lana." A short pause. It lasted three or four minutes. 

"I love you too. Sir Puppington misses you." 

"Can you tell him I miss him too?" 

"Of course." Another short pause. This one lasted about five minutes. "Are you okay?" 

"Why do you ask?" Emily's body tensed a little. How could she tell? 

"Well, I would normally answer 'Why wouldn't I," started her sister's message, "but given you ONLY do amutuer hour Socratic dialogue like that if the correct answer might worry me, I already know something's up." Emily ground her teeth. 

"Everything is fine!" Her phone lit up. She gasped and dropped it and fumbled. Her ringtone kicked in. She scrambled to press the volume down button, or cram her hand over the speaker, or do literally anything-

-----------

Ring. Riiing. Riiiing. 

Emily prayed that her call would go to voicemail. Then she could turn it off, go to bed, and have an excuse. 

"Hello?" Fuck. It was Lana. She did pick up. "Hello Emily?" She paced in the small lounge off to the side of her floor. Why every floor of the older buildings had one of these, she'd never understand. Nobody ever used them. Just in case, she had earbuds in. 

"Hi Lana." Emily whispered into her phone.

"Emily?" 

"Hi Lana," Emily was forced to repeat, louder. Her sister heard her. 

"Emily! You sound stressed! What's wrong?" 

"Nothing's wrong Lana." Emily sat on the small but comfortable couch and leaned back. Between its softness and the relative disuse of the room it wouldn't be a bad place to crash if she got locked out. 

"No, something's definitely up. Is it boy trouble?" 

"Noooooo," Emily almost growled. Why the hell did everyone always assume that? "I've told you, I don't have boy troubles. I don't-"

"Is it girl troubles?" Emily froze mid sentence. Her mouth hung open. She slowly forced it shut. She swallowed. Her sister's voice was...gentle. Compassionate. She said that like it was a genuine possibility, like she felt her little sister's heart being broken was equally deserving of care and compassion whether a boy did it or not. 

"N-no, it's-" Emily started to answer. 

"Oh my god," murmured Lana. She didn't sound angry or betrayed, just...frustrated? "God, I hate it when dad's right." 

"Wait, what do you mean?" Emily bristled. She was ready to fight. What the hell was her dad right about? 

"Nothing, it's not important. Okay?" Emily didn't think so, but she didn't feel like testing Lana's stubbornness against her own at the moment. 

"Okay." 

"Okay. If it's a girl, you can tell me okay?" 

"Like hell I can," sighed Emily. 

"Emilyyyy," her sister sounded genuinely worried. Emily could hear her words tearing at the fabric of her heart. "So...it is a girl?" Emily weighed the pros and cons of fighting. She decided that wasn't worth it. 

"It's a girl." She flinched preemptively. 

"Okay. I'm proud of you, alright Emily?" 

"But I'm not gay!" Emily shot out reflexively into the empty room. "I like men!" 

"So?" Emily froze. Her face twisted. 

"Wh-what do you...mean? I can't be gay AND like men!" 

"Who said you were gay, honey?" Emily felt a strange sense of safety. She always did when her sister rolled that one out. 

"I...what...do you mean? If I like girls, I…I have to be…" 

"Gay? No, no you don't, okay?" Emily felt tears in her eyes. "You might just be bi. Or maybe you just like sex and you assumed you were straight until something challenged it. Okay?" 

"Okay…" Emily forced herself not to cry. "I miss you." 

"I miss you too, honey. You can cry it out if you need to, okay? Girls are allowed to cry." Emily nodded. A dam somewhere deep inside her, one she didn't know was struggling, suddenly burst. She sobbed as quietly as she could. Her sister stayed on the phone all the while and consoled her.

-------------

It was Friday morning. Tammy woke up, stretched, and yawned. She took her meds, she ate a granola bar, and she got dressed. She put her laptop on her bed and she opened it. She didn't especially like the schedule she'd found herself saddled with this semester-but at the same time, she did have a four day school week, and that was worth something. She looked at her school email and found one new message. It was from the teacher she had reached out to the previous day. The email told her where to look to find the assignment. 

"I would have preferred a link," Tammy growled. She was annoyed both with her teacher and with herself. The girl got up from her bed and took a moment to pace back and forth. After a minute of doing this, she took her phone from its spot-plugged into a slot in the base of her lamp, which itself was plugged into another slot on the face of the microwave the school provided-and checked it. She had...many new text messages. 

Her heart sank when she saw they were all from Emily. "Hey are you there?" Asked one. "Tammy answer please!" Went another one. "Did I do something wrong?" Pleaded a third. Tammy felt guilt wash over her. 

"I'm sorry sweetie!" She texted back. "Emily I love you! Are you okay?" She took a seat on her bed and struggled to focus on the paper she needed to write. It took a bit of navigating to find it, but this time she did manage to locate the correct web page. She read all the instructions and tried not to think about the ways this was gonna prove really difficult to do in under a day. She sighed. Breakfast might help her. She got up, grabbed her wallet, stuffed it in her pocket, and then did the same with her keys. She moved towards the door. She realized she couldn't feel her keys. She stopped and double checked to make sure she had them. She did. She sighed. She left her dorm. 

--------------

Tammy sat down with a tray that had her usual breakfast: eggs and sausage. She had remembered this time, through sheer force of will, to grab a fork. She started eating the eggs with it. Her phone beeped. She checked it. 

"Hey! Can we eat breakfast together?" Read the text message. It was from Emily. Tammy paused to down another small mouthful of scrambled eggs. She felt guilty about yesterday. 

"Yes." She awkwardly typed in using her left hand, before tapping the send button and returning the phone to her pocket. She put her full attention back into breakfast. It took a few minutes but Emily sat down across from her. 

"Hey Tammy," she said with a weak smile. Her eyes seemed red and a bit ragged. 

"Hi," Tammy said and winced internally. "You...don't look so good." 

"Oh, this is nothing," said Emily dismissively with a laugh. She started peeling an orange. "You should see me during finals season. Shit gets rough." Tammy nodded along, awkwardly, while continuing to eat. She finished her eggs...and realized she didn't have a knife for the sausage links. 

"I forgot to get a knife," she muttered awkwardly, "I need to go grab one." Emily smiled and waited while Tammy went and did just that. When she returned and sat back down, she did so while

struggling to think of what to say. "I'm...sorry about yesterday. Both for springing that on you, without negotiation beforehand, and for like...ditching you like that." 

"It's fine, Tammy," said Emily, "don't worry!" She took one slice of the orange and ate it. "You had class. I wouldn't want you getting in hot water with your professor over me." Tammy didn't agree, but she chose not to press the issue. She cut the first of her sausage links in half and then ate one of the halves. It was delicious. 

"Your text messages last night...they seemed distraught," Tammy piped up cautiously. "Do you...want to talk about it?" 

"Yeah, but uh...not now?" Emily answered. Tammy nodded along and smiled. Yeah, that made sense. 

"After we eat?" Tammy asked. Emily shook her head. 

"Class. And then...hmm." Emily paused and thought for a moment. "Does meeting at two thirty work for you?" Tammy nodded vigorously. She had to finish chewing the second half of the sausage link first, but once she had she swallowed and gave her answer. 

"Yes! Two thirty is fine for me. I'm available pretty much all day, so whenever you can, that works for me." Emily nodded herself. The two young women fell into silence while they finished eating. Tammy got the sense Emily wasn't telling her something. Ghosts of experiences like this one started to haunt the back of her brain. She pushed them back. If something was wrong, she had to trust Emily to tell her. 

Twenty minutes passed. It was now nine forty five AM. Emily stood up, tray in her hands. "Until half past two," she said, and left. 

"Wait!" Cried Tammy after her. "Whose dorm?" 

"Fregri!" Shouted Emily back to her. Tammy grumbled but didn't object. 

----------

Tammy sighed. She had spent the entire intervening time since her run-in with Emily in the library. She had two sources chosen out of the paper's requisite three, but yet beyond that almost zero progress was happening. She struggled not to have a second panic attack in the library in as many days. 

Hell, it would be her second time having a panic attack sitting in this specific chair in as many days. 

It was two twenty PM. Part of her was shouting to text Emily and let her know this was happening, but...no. She didn't have it in her to do that. She COULDN'T do that, not to Emily, not after ditching her like she did last time. She saved links to the two pages containing her sources and logged out, twice in succession as always. She stood up from her chair and grimaced. 

"You wanna talk about a bear trap!?" She could remember her dad screaming. "I might as well have BURNED the money I spent sending you here!" She felt tears in her eyes and beat them back. No. Not allowed. No crying in public. She made her way towards Fregri and sat down on a bench by the main entrance to wait for Emily. There she waited. 

And waited. 

And waited.

And she waited. Minutes passed. First five, then ten. Then fifteen. She grew antsy. Eventually she texted Emily. 

"Where ARE you?" Before long, an answer. 

"I'm in Fregri! Waiting for you!" 

"Where!?"

"Room 213, where we met last time!" 

A sense of pain, disappointment, almost...revulsion with herself came over Tammy. She slammed a palm against her forehead and cursed under her breath. Of course that's what she meant, it was so fucking obvious! She tried not to let the horrid feelings in her gurgle up any higher, lest her body start physically reacting to them. 

"I'm sorry I'm on my way!" Tammy shoved her phone in her pocket and took off in a sprint down the hall. She went around a corner and down a hall where she...realized this was room 227. From there she turned around and tried to follow the numbers. This worked better. She found room 213. The door was unlocked. 

Tammy entered room 213 of the Fregri building for the second time this semester. Emily sat in a chair by the chalkboard, haunched over her phone. Its faint glow cast an almost eerie light over the blonde's soft, smooth skin. Tammy wondered if, without the compliments her partners often gave her skin for being soft, she might envy Emily's. 

"H-hey. Sorry. I didn't...realize you meant here." 

"I figured." Emily got up and walked past Tammy. She deposited her phone in her purse, swapped it for her keys, and used one of them to lock the door. She turned and walked past Tammy. She turned again. She sat down facing her. Tammy could feel tension in the air but she couldn't intuit the cause. It worried her. Was Emily okay? "Okay. Meeting starts."

"Meeting...starts," Tammy nervously played along as she sat down. "What's...up?" 

"I got...freaked out a few times yesterday." Emily's arms crossed and her face twisted into a pout. "You didn't answer my texts either." 

"Oh-I'm-" Tammy paused. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." The maelstrom within herself seemed to blink out of existence. There was only Emily. 

She hurt Emily. 

She. Hurt. Emily. 

"You...what?" Emily seemed taken aback. Tammy nodded. 

"I'm sorry Emily! We hadn't negotiated when it was okay to do stuff and-" pain. "And I assumed things and pushed you into places you didn't want to go!" She was trying not to sound audibly upset with herself. She was failing. "I'm sorry!" 

-----------

Emily had to fight to keep her jaw from hanging open. Tammy had-what!? 

She had this whole cat and mouse gambit planned! Nobody ever just apologized for hurting you by accident! What was she supposed to do NOW!?

Emily wriggled in place. Tammy was obviously sorry. Right? But-

"Tammy. Stoppit." Tammy froze, nodded, and forced composure back onto herself. Emily tried not to marvel at how good the girl was at it. Autistic people usually struggled to do that, didn't they? "Shit, sorry. That was...harsh." She took a deep breath. This had never happened before. "I...I've had guys dote over me like that before. It's never bugged me the way it did for you, though." Tammy looked hurt, but she appeared to take it in stride. Emily paused. She took a deep breath. She fixed a steely gaze on Tammy like her brother did when he got upset. "Tammy. You have a girlfriend." 

Tammy was visibly freaked out but didn't seem to understand. "Y-yeah. I do. I love her-" 

"Do you?" Emily pressed. "You haven't told me anything about her." 

"O-oh. I guess I haven't," Tammy wilted. She looked sad and apologetic. "H-her name is Amanda. I love her." Emily paused again. Why was she so upset? She should be angry. 

"Okay...okay. does she...know?" Emily asked. "About me?

"Yes." Tammy answered. "I've said as much, that she likes you too-"

"I mean," Emily cut her short, "does she know you love me?"

"Y-yeah," stammered Tammy.

"I don't believe you." Emily countered. 

"C-come again?" Tammy gasped out. Emily felt bewildered. Amanda didn't know about this, there's no WAY Amanda knew about this!

"You've told me you love me. You mean to tell me your girlfriend knows about that? She's OKAY with that?"

"I-I mean, I've told her I love you. I don't-" something inside Emily snapped. Part of her told her to get up, to scream, to lose it. Most of her said not to, though. This floor was vacant today but the building was not. And...it seemed cruel. 

"You've told her?" Emily asked. Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. "I don't believe you." 

"O-okay," Tammy squirmed. "That makes sense. Here," she pulled out her phone and tapped wildly away at it. In moments she handed Emily her phone, with an app opened to her private messages with someone by the username of Amanda. The name "Emily" was entered into the search bar and had gotten a few dozen results. Emily took the phone and sat down. 

Yeah. There it was, bright as day, clear as crystal. She scrolled through the messages and as she did, the wind was taken out from under her sails. Tammy talked about her often. She opened one of the results. It was Tammy telling Amanda how hot Emily was, that she snored cute, that her voice was pretty when it was soft and peaceful. 

Almost immediately after that the conversation swerved into territory she felt guilty reading. She returned the phone and tried not to blush. 

"I-huh? You...she…?" 

"She knows I'm a loving person," said Tammy with a nervous smile. "And an...active domme." 

"She's...okay with that?" Muttered Emily, bewildered. 

"Yeah! She thinks it's sweet." Tammy said with a smile. 

"Wow, um…" Emily tried to speak as guilt started to spear at her. She averted her gaze. "I...wow. I'm sorry I blew up like that."  

"That's okay," said Tammy. She sounded upset, still. If someone "forgave" you and still sounded hurt, Emily knew, they were just saving face. She didn't trust it. 

"You don't have to pretend it's okay," she grumbled angrily. "I...I HURT you. I made these awful assumptions-like you just said were bad! I, I-"

"Shhhhh." Tammy was suddenly rubbing the back of her hand. Softly, soothingly. It was such a...gentle gesture. Emily didn't understand. 

"Why are...why are you being so NICE to me," Emily squeezed out. She was confused. She was-

"Because I love you. You can trust me on that right?" 

Trust Tammy, whispered a seductive voice in the back of her head. Tingles lanced out from the base of her neck. That's right. She could trust Tammy. She should trust Tammy. 

"I'm still upset," something compelled her to gasp out, "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm-"

"Shhhh," Tammy purred. "It's okay to be upset." 

"It-it is? No-no you didn't-I know why, it was wrong, I was wrong, I can't-" Tammy opened her arms to offer a hug. Emily exploded onto her feet and hurled herself into them. The two hit the cold dusty floor with a thud. They were so close… 

"I love you Tammy," Wheezed Emily, burying her face in the girl's chest. She clung with wild abandon to the cherub in human form she didn't feel she deserved. Tammy hugged gently back. 

"I'm sorry." Tammy whispered. "I won't play with your head in public anymore, okay?" 

"Okay," sighed an appreciative Emily. She let her body relax. 

She felt something against her leg. 

"Wait, you-" she rolled aside and looked down. Sure enough, there was a bulge in Tammy's skirt. "Wait, Tammy- you-" Tammy flinched. A thousand thoughts seemed to fly through her head. 

She blurted out: "I'm trans!" 

It hit Emily like a heat wave. Was that...no.The thought flew across her mind that maybe she wasn’t into women, and that this was why Tammy’s body affected her like this. But that...couldn’t be. She loved Tammy, in a way she had never loved a man, and what’s more Tammy’s body had only ever been a woman’s, to her. This new thing...it wasn't why she liked Tammy. She sat up and pursed her lips. No, no. Tammy was a woman. She'd more than proven that. 

"Okay," Emily muttered with a smile, "c'mon up, babe, the floor is dirty." She leaned over, hand outstretched. Tammy took it and the blonde helped her to her feet. They both looked away, blushing. "You're...you have that, so if you're trans, that...that means you're still a woman right?" 

"Yeah," answered Tammy. She sounded relieved. "I'm still a woman." Emily nodded. 

"Oh...okay. I love you TamMY!" She was struck. Tammy and her sailed together through the air and hit the ground once more, this time with Tammy on the top. She shoved her face against Emily's, nuzzled aggressively, clutched at one of Emily's legs with both of her own. A delighted flurry of whimpers flew out of Tammy's mouth. Emily felt warm and fuzzy all over. She grinned. "You know Tammy, this place isn't too public, come to think of it, as long as we don't make too much noi-mmrph!" Tammy's mouth met hers. It was wet, gentle, delicious. Tammy was wearing some kind of fruity lip gloss. Emily liked it. The two clutched at each other and kissed. Tammy shoved her crotch against Emily's leg. They kissed and kissed and kissed. Warm radiant love came bursting out of Tammy's mouth, in her moans and whimpers and her tongue, and it all washed seamlessly over Emily. They kept their noise level as low as they could but Tammy humped harder and harder, faster and faster, Emily shoved her tongue into Tammy's throat, they lost themselves in each other in a cascade of bliss-

"Mmmmrrraaaaa~" Trilled Tammy. Her body twitched violently as she got off and then, panting, went limp. Emily smiled. 

She felt good.