"Questions and Answers"
From the "Frequently Asked Questions" section of the 'SomnoEssence - Real Time Hypnosis App!' website:
Q: I want to purchase your product, but I'm somewhat concerned about the steep price point. Does SomnoEssence come with a money-back guarantee?
A: Unfortunately, SomnoEssence is a little bit too effective to come with a money-back guarantee. Since it takes mere minutes to put anyone into an irresistible trance with our super-powerful hypnotic graphics and high-quality, directional subliminal sounds, even a twenty-four hour window for refunds would allow you to mesmerize and brainwash literally everybody you know before returning the product and getting its amazing benefits for free! We know it's expensive, guys, but come on. You don't get this kind of excellence for nothing. Borrow a little money, buy the app, and then make them forget they lent it to you. (And then make your boss give you a raise! After all, you've earned it.)
Q: I've been thinking about trying out SomnoEssence, but I'm a little worried about what might happen if my intended victim figures out what I'm doing. Is there any way to make sure they don't get mad at me for trying to hypnotize them with my phone?
A: Rest assured, there's no need to worry about the reactions of your intended victim when you've got the power of SomnoEssence in your pocket! The captivating patterns and mind-numbing stroboscopic frequencies of the World's Most Powerful Hypnosis App(tm) have been tested on hundreds of unsuspecting and even actively struggling subjects in order to bring you the ultimate in pure, inescapable hypnotic effects. Within five seconds of initial exposure, you can expect your chosen target to enter their initial light trance state, and from there you can deepen them into a full brain-melting experience that will erase not just their resistance but their entire memory of the experience! Nobody's going to get mad at you when they can't even remember what you've been doing to them for the last hour.
(Please note, SomnoEssence does not advise beginning a session when your device is at less than twenty percent battery. For full amnesia effect, please allow at least ten minutes of uninterrupted exposure to the SomnoEssence app before removing it from the subject's field of vision. Although meaningful resistance is impossible after the initial five-second window of exposure, the subject may retain some trace impressions of their experiences if not fully induced.)
Q: I've got some things I'd like to try in the bedroom, but I can't really do them while my partner is staring hypnotized at my phone. Is there a way I can use SomnoEssence to persuade my significant other to do kinky things while wide awake?
A: Of course! One of the biggest and best features of putting SomnoEssence's irresistible mind-controlling power into the palm of your hand is that your hypnotic conditioning doesn't have to stop once you wake up your hapless victim from their trance. Because SomnoEssence makes your mesmerized subject completely open to suggestions during the period of susceptibility, you can implant triggers and compulsions that will remain in effect even after the trance concludes. If you want your partner to wake up with a bondage fetish, a desire to please, or even just a return to trance every time you snap your fingers, SomnoEssence can help you make it happen!
Q: What is the period of susceptibility with SomnoEssence?
A: Good question! While the victim may not be able to look away after the first five seconds of exposure to the patented SomnoEssence hypnotic patterns, you'll still notice a period of defiance as their conscious minds attempt to fight the overwhelming power of the World's Most Powerful Hypnosis App(tm). Signs that your subject is still struggling against the inescapable power of SomnoEssence include a furrowed brow, angling the head away from the phone or tablet (their eyes will remain fixated on the screen at all times), and coherent speech. When these behaviors abate completely, leaving your new obedient slave passive and silent unless spoken to, you're in the period of susceptibility and you can safely implant any suggestion you want without fear of resistance! You can expect this to happen within five to ten minutes of initial exposure, but don't check the clock. Watch the person you're hypnotizing to confirm full compliance!
Q: I've got a nosy partner who knows my passwords, and I'm worried they may unlock my phone and use the SomnoEssence app against me before I get a chance to use it on them. Is there any way to resist SomnoEssence if you know it's coming?
A: The bad news is, no. There's absolutely no way to resist the mesmerizing power of SomnoEssence once it's turned on you. In our hundreds of hours of testing, even the subjects who helped to develop the application and understood exactly how the hypnotic strobes induced a cataleptic state were unable to look away, and they couldn't resist sinking into a deep obedient trance within minutes. There's nobody out there with a will strong enough to fight SomnoEssence--we guarantee it!
The good news is, that same inescapable hypnotic control can guarantee your safety as well. The first time you open the SomnoEssence hypnosis app and sign in, it will automatically activate itself and deliver a series of safety suggestions directly to your brain. These suggestions will hypnotize you to ignore any future attempts to hypnotize you by parties not directly authorized by you, the user, and to shake off any suggestions not directly imparted during the initial orientation session. As long as you maintain your SomnoEssence subscription, you'll be completely immune to the app's effects... because you've been brainwashed to be!
(Legal Disclaimer: The suggestions of the initial orientation session include certain inviolable instructions intended to protect SomnoEssence's interests in the event of a conflict between the end user and SomnoEssence, LLC. By clicking 'I Accept' on the End User License Agreement, you consent to any and all hypnotic modification of your consciousness in order to ensure that SomnoEssence, LLC can arbitrate disputes to its own satisfaction at all times. SomnoEssence, LLC reserves the right to modify the End User License Agreement at will. Termination of the subscription to SomnoEssence will trigger a second hypnosis session that ensures compliance with the terms of the End User License Agreement in perpetuity. SomnoEssence accepts no responsibility for actions taken while under hypnosis or as a result of hypnosis. Use this app responsibly.)
Q: I think my friend overheard me hypnotizing my partner with SomnoEssence. They've gone home, and they won't let me get anywhere near them. Is there any way I can hypnotize someone using SomnoEssence without a device?
A: You're in luck! Beginning with versions 3.6 or later, SomnoEssence's powerful hypnotic visualizations can be sent to anyone via text message, email attachment, or web browser. Simply go into the SomnoEssence app, and under the 'More Options' heading, select the method you believe most likely to trick your unsuspecting victim into clicking their way into mindless obedience! Keep in mind that due to the limitations of inducing a trance state without your physical presence to direct the subject, these alternatives are intended for temporary use only. They have a much smaller range of suggestions available, and are best deployed to convince your target to trust you, contact you, and accept a reinduction trigger so you can put them back under at your convenience.
Q: My biggest fantasy has always been a threesome. Can you hypnotize two people at once with SomnoEssence?
A: It wouldn't be the World's Most Powerful Hypnosis App(tm) if you couldn't! While SomnoEssence's intense hypnotic strobes and mesmerizing patterns are best viewed from head-on for full effect, one of the most amazing aspects of this compelling new development in mind-control technology is the way it draws each and every viewer in. If your target so much as catches even a glance of the captivating SomnoEssence visualizations, they'll experience an irresistible compulsion to move closer and get a better look. Our rigorous testing labs have managed to ensnare as many as a dozen victims at a time under optimal conditions (Disclaimer: SomnoEssence does not recommend hypnotizing more than three people at a time using the SomnoEssence app) and still gotten quality results! You won't have any problem getting that threesome the SomnoEssence way.
Q: I'm deeply in love with the girl next door, but it seems kind of unethical to win her heart using hypnosis. Is it wrong to use the SomnoEssence app to brainwash her into loving me?
A: While much is understood about hypnosis from a technical aspect--we wouldn't be able to design an irresistible brainwashing app if it wasn't!--it's safe to say that there's still a lot that nobody understands about the way the human brain works. The processes of cognition are still murky and difficult to define, and even the most advanced neuroscientists can't really say for sure whether free will exists at all, or whether we merely imagine it does due to some arcane and purely mechanistic effect of the chemical interactions going on inside our skulls. Under the circumstances, who can really say where the line between highly effective persuasion and irresistible hypnosis actually lies? If the girl you love is happy... and you can always hypnotize her to be happy with SomnoEssence... we don't see where the ethical problem is. Enjoy with our blessings.
(Legal Disclaimer: SomnoEssence takes no responsibility for any actions of any end user of the SomnoEssence app. Always follow the laws of your local, state and federal jurisdiction when using SomnoEssence. Advocating a course of action regarding the use of SomnoEssence should in no way, shape or form be taken as an endorsement of that course of action in perpetuity throughout the known universe.)
Q: Is SomnoEssence... legal? It really feels too good to be true.
A: Thanks to our diligent lobbying efforts... wink wink... SomnoEssence is legal in all fifty states and the territories of Puerto Rico, Guam, American Samoa and the US Virgin Islands. The European Union has also made rulings legalizing the use of SomnoEssence, although anyone wishing to opt out has ninety days to notify SomnoEssence, LLC in writing as of the date of adoption in their country of residence that they would prefer to be hypnotized only with prior consent. (A full list of individuals not consenting to hypnotic control can be found in the "Legal" section of the SomnoEssence website. SomnoEssence accepts no responsibility for any user's attempts to hypnotize an individual on this list, and doing so is considered to be a violation of the End User License Agreement.)
Please do be aware that as part of the terms of settlement reached with the United States government, all serving members of Congress, the President and Vice-President, and the United States Supreme Court have been provided with complimentary subscriptions to SomnoEssence and have undergone the initial immunization session. Nice try, folks!
Q: I'm an individual who thinks they may have been hypnotized without their knowledge by the SomnoEssence app. I'm experiencing chunks of missing time and strange, intense sexual compulsions that I can't explain or resist. I don't know who's behind this, but I know I can't trust my own mind anymore. Every time I turn around, I expect to find myself staring into a glowing, strobing screen that erodes my will and tugs me deeper into the inescapable control of a hypnotist who erases all memory of their identity. If I could, I'd just buy my own subscription to SomnoEssence to purge any suggestions from my mind, but I'm too broke. Can SomnoEssence help?
A: Of course we can! We're very sympathetic to the plight of the hypnosis victim here at SomnoEssence, and we take our commitment to the well-being of those individuals who may have had our app used on them in an unethical way extremely seriously. (Legal Disclaimer: SomnoEssence, LLC accepts no responsibility for the unethical, illegal, or immoral use of its app to hypnotize individuals against their will.) If you're worried about suggestions lingering in your brain without your knowledge due to post-hypnotic amnesia, you can always click on the link in the "Join Our Team" section of the website to find opportunities to help us test and improve the SomnoEssence app. You'll earn valuable credit that can be put towards a future subscription, and you'll find a fulfilling team-oriented atmosphere that will take all your worries about mind control away for good!
After all... that's the SomnoEssence promise. And it's a promise you will *know* you can trust.