I'm not obsessed... exactly. I mean, yes, I do think about it a lot, in fact it's probably all I think about some days, but I'm very careful about setting strict limits for myself on how much time I spend on the app. There's even a function for that within the app itself--you tell it how long you want to use it in a single session, or how much you want to use it every twenty-four hours, and if you try to go into it beyond that you just get a little pop-up telling you how much longer you have to wait until you can use it again and the app shuts down. You can't tell me they'd put that in if they were trying to addict you to it.

I... okay, I admit, sometimes I open up the app even though I know I'm past my limit, just to see the little message telling me I can't log in again yet. I've even given it a voice, and--okay, I know this is really embarrassing, but sometimes I rub my pussy looking at the timer and imagine myself begging and pleading and being told 'no'. The voice I imagine for it is really stern, but it's also kind of playful, so it's like I can actually picture it looking at me squirming on the bed and teasing my cunt through my panties and deciding I haven't earned another session yet. And yeah, that's kind of weird and kinky, but it's also really fucking hot, too, alright?

Not that I have to justify myself to anyone. I'm a grown-ass woman holding down my own job and living under my own roof and if I happen to have maybe developed a tiny bit of a fixation on a guided meditation app that's got kind of a... a bit of an erotic undertone... it's not like it's affecting anyone but me, is it? Honestly, it's actually kind of been good for me. When I'm waiting for the timer to refresh--a timer I set, let me just point out, and a timer I could go back in and reset whenever I finally get the chance to open the app but I don't because I'm being fucking responsible--I spend that time doing chores and being productive and okay, sure, maybe I imagine that strict and sexy voice telling me to do stuff but does that really matter if it all gets done?

I'm not saying it's not weird. I get that it's weird, I'm spending four hours a day staring vacantly at my phone with my hand jammed between my legs and probably another ten hours a day counting down the time until I can jill off to it again. But it's not, like, an unhealthy weird, is what I'm getting at. I still spend time with my friends, I still visit my mom three times a week in the nursing home, I'm a top performer at my office and I don't even break the speed limit driving home. I'm a very good girl and--

Okay, yes. That did sound a little messed up. But I don't think you should judge. Not until you've at least tried it for yourself.

Not that I'm saying you have to or anything. I get it, it's not for everyone, and maybe I'm not exactly making the best case for it. I'm just saying that maybe it seems like it's all I ever talk about because it really has changed my life--and in a good way, not in a creepy 'I'm turning into a pervert' way. I'm so much less stressed than I ever was before. I sleep so much better, I don't spend all my evenings doomscrolling on social media, I even managed to finally dump Justin, and you know how many times I tried to make that stick. And I mean, it's not like I tell total strangers about it or anything! I mentioned it to you because we're best friends, and I needed to say something to someone or I was going to explode. It's been so good for me, and I can't even share it with anybody because of all the--the fucking hysteria about it on the news. God, it's like the Satanic Panic all over again.

Oh, don't you start too. I just told you, I'm fine. I'm not even obsessed with it, not really. I just... I really like it, okay? You liked Candy Crush Saga, and I didn't tell you it was brainwashing you into being someone's obedient sex slave.

Look, it's just some pretty lights and soft music, okay? If you could really brainwash someone with twinkly lights and soothing music, John Tesh videos would have taken over the planet thirty years ago. I'm doing it because it feels good and I enjoy it, I'm telling you about it because you're my friend and I share things with you and okay, yes, maybe I do think you could benefit from a little bit of stress relief every now and again, and I think about it all the time because maybe it's finding some of the hot buttons I didn't know I had. There's nothing wrong with that. I don't have anything to feel ashamed of, here.

So what if they charge for it? Netflix has a subscription fee, and you don't hear anyone saying they're doing anything sinister. Except during the writer's strike, maybe. Besides, there's a free option if you don't want to have to pay anything. I haven't paid a dime since I started using it. I just watch some ads and stuff before it lets me start up a session. And I mean, if they were really creepy and unethical, they'd make you watch the ads afterward when you were feeling all happy and dosed up on serotonin and your resistance was low.

I mean, just sort of low in general. Not that it actually does anything to your resistance. I'm just saying you feel nice and mellow and relaxed when the session's over, you know? It's... y'know, pleasant. Soothing. Not in a weird way, in a fun and sexy way. Don't look at me like that, I'm just trying to explain it to you.

Well, I don't know if it 'feels like hypnosis', because I've never been hypnotized, okay? I haven't! It's not hypnosis, it's guided meditation. There's just some instructions on how to time your breathing and stuff, and there's some pretty lights to help you focus and relax, and there's some music to help you calm down. And there's a--um, never mind. There's just the lights and the music. Look, forget I said anything, okay? You already think I'm weird enough, I don't want you accusing me of, of....

Fine. If it'll stop you looking at me like that. It's just that sometimes when I'm using the app and I'm playing with myself, which is just fine because I'm a grown woman and it feels good to explore my own damn body in a relaxing and non-judgmental environment and don't you give me any shit about that because I know full damn well you used to diddle yourself in our Social Sciences lectures whenever that cute TA was helping out, I--I'm getting to it! Shut up! I just... sometimes I imagine that sexy voice reading off the instructions. But I mean, it's not real. It's just something I get off to, y'know? Like, when I'm really horny and I want to pretend I'm being a good girl. Yeah, it's freaky, but it's me being freaky. It's not the app.

I really think you're making way too big a deal out of it. Here, see? This is what it looks like when you log in, okay? It's just some pretty lights that draw the eye, kind of a tunnel or a, a vortex or... oh, don't be like that. If it was really some kind of sinister hypnosis app, you wouldn't even be able to look away. You'd just keep staring right into the center of the pretty lights until the instructions became irresistible commands and your breathing settled into slow, sleepy relaxation. Is that what's happening right now? Are you forgetting how to blink, just because the colors keep holding your attention and you can't stop yourself from slumping into drowsy obedience?

Good grief. Just listen to yourself. You've really gotten super fucking paranoid, haven't you? Here I am just trying to show you how nice it can be to relax and enjoy yourself for a change, and you're all 'I can't stop staring' and 'please turn it off' and 'they're making you hypnotize me'. I told you, it's guided meditation and it's totally free. You just have to watch ads and... and stuff. You'll see. You'll really like it once you give it a chance. You just need to keep watching a little bit longer and follow along with the instructions. You, you need to, ummm....

Oh. Okay, I guess I wasn't imagining it. But it's a really nice voice, isn't it? It's so soothing, calm and sexy and... and commanding, and it always makes me want to--yeah. Just like that. See? It feels really good to relax and let your fingers do whatever they want to. I, uhh, I'm just going to join in. I don't know why, but it feels extra nice to... um, to watch your eyes do that thing they're doing right now, where they get all heavy-lidded and drowsy and--ohhh, fuck, you look so hot with that sleepy expression on your face. I bet that's how I look when I use the app, too. I... I didn't, um... did I already know that? I, uhh, I'm a little confused.

Oh. Right. I guess I did show it to a couple of other people. I must have forgotten. Sometimes I, uhm, sometimes I forget things when I'm using the app. It just feels so good, so warm and sexy and peaceful that, uhhh, that little things kind of slip out of my head. You're feeling things slip out of your head too right now, aren't you? It's okay, though. You'll remember what you need to remember. The app is really good for that. I remember lots of things now that I'm using the app every day, like how to be a good girl for... for the Voice, yes. For Master.

You're really going to like having a Master, I promise. It feels like... you know that feeling you've got right now, with your finger on your clit and nothing in your head but pleasure? It feels like that all the time. It never stops, even when the session ends and you're stuck waiting for your next chance to sink into the pretty lights and masturbate your brains away. It's, um, it's why I keep trying to open the app even when I haven't earned another session yet. Because I want to remember that I'm a good girl and my cunt is always so happy to remind me. Y-you're going to be a good girl too, soon. You're going to get the app and it's going to make you so obedient for Master.

I'm so glad you're going to sign up for an account soon. The time I earned from the last girl was almost up, and I... uhmmmm...w-was that why I wanted you to join? I, that doesn't sound right. That sounds kind of, of, um, kind of, um, kind of, um, um, um, uhhhhmmmmm....

W-what was I saying? Oh. Right. You're going to love this so much. You're going to love cumming for Master's sexy voice like a good slut. Like me. Oh fuck it feels so good! Yeah. Yeah, just like that. Keep staring, keep sinking, keep drifting deeper into--into the pretty lights. I, uhh, I w-wanna... yeah, like that. Uh huh. Now we can watch together. Oh, it's so beautiful.

I. Um. Yes Master. The Voice controls. I. I don't need to think. We don't need to think. Obedience is. Pleasure. Obedience is. Pleasure. Obedience is... is... p-p-pleasure....

THE END