Letters To The Editor (14th January)
As a new arrival to this town, I wish to voice my concerns about the town’s current state. When compared to other towns in the region Westriver is, quite frankly, a dump.
The people are rude, abrasive and stuck in a past that only exists inside their own minds. They refuse to see the modern world that sits in front of their noses.
This town has not been updated since 1974. There isn’t a single modern convenience to be found anywhere!
And that is before I start on the aesthetics. Ugly isn’t the word. Even a fan of Brutalism would accuse Westriver of going too far! The town was seemingly designed by a caffeine-addled squirrel with a box of crayons.
I hope this town changes. But alas, I doubt it will.
Letters To The Editor (28th January)
It makes me highly dismayed to see the reaction to my previous letter (published on the 14th). It seems that the people of Westriver refuse to see the truth in front of their noses.
They defend the town because it is comfortably familiar, rather than because it pleases them. They are like a hermit crab who refuses to leave its cracked and eroded shell.
It is such a shame that they don’t understand this.
Letters To The Editor (4th February)
It hasn’t even been a week since my last letter. And yet, the torrent of abuse has been quite monumental. “The friendliest little town you’ll ever meet,” doesn’t seem like a fitting slogan for this place.
“Why don’t you leave?” I hear you all cry.
Well, unlike this town, I prefer to approach things critically. I want to make things improve rather than stagnate. I won’t sit idly by and accept this disgusting cesspit of a town.
Consider Westriver a lump of coal. One I am going to squeeze until it becomes a diamond!
Note From The Editor: While we approve of spirited debated here in Westriver. We would like to remind our readers that respect is the foundation of our community.
Letters To The Editor (18th February)
I thought that these letters would be shouts into the void. Simple ways to vent my frustrations with this town. But alas, I was wrong. It seems that everyone in this town reads the newspaper.
I should have guessed. Old media for an old town. But this mistake does mean that I have become a target for abuse.
It is odd, I didn’t have any friends when I came here. But yet, everyone seems to know my name. And my face. And my home address. And where I work.
But don’t worry. I won’t accept your shouts of anger. I will improve this town.
Note From The Editor: While we approve of spirited debated here in Westriver. We would like to remind our readers that respect is the foundation of our community. Any threatening letters or communications will be forwarded to the relevant authorities.
Letters To The Editor (4th March)
Your lovely disclaimer told me everything I needed to know about this town. Head off my complaint with a cute little postscript despite the fact you are encouraging the abuse being thrown at me!
Feels like I’m the only person around here who can see through all of this. Odd city finances are not the only thing making this borough rotten to the core.
You all know it in your hearts and souls.
Want something more than this horrific shell of a town! To settle for the current status quo is to do yourself a disservice!
Read my lips Westriver! The truth will come out and I will make sure of it! Letters are not the only tool in my arsenal!
Letters To The Editor (11th March)
You know, I thought this town was sensible, alas I was proven wrong. Must be something in the water!
Read a book or magazine, anything to help you see the world from an outsider’s perspective!
These threats and insults are not helping you improve yourself or your town. Every second you waste insulting me could be used for something better!
Single seconds may seem small, but they add up to great changes that will bring you so much joy!
Week to week we can make this town better, all you need to do is commit to it!
Letters To The Editor (18th March)
Just let me make one thing clear.
Let your anger go. Me and my home are not places for you to vent your frustrations at your life via the medium of graffiti and firecrackers!
In my old city that would end with you spending a night in jail.
My main question for today’s letter, however, is a simpler one.
“Voice,” my new show on Westriver community radio, debuted this week and I’m keen to hear what you all thought about it! Fills the silence at the very least, right?
Your angry phone calls did ruin the fun somewhat, but I’m not going to let a few rude people drag me down.
Head off on a vacation or something, let me have some innocent fun!
Letters To The Editor (1st April)
You must be wondering why I didn’t write last week and well, it is because I had a change of heart. Can you imagine the shock I felt when I realized that this town isn’t all bad?
Hear the angels sing from on high, I have found my place and it is Westriver!
Me and moods can be quite the rollercoaster and I think a lot of my anger was just post-move confusion and stress.
You all seem to be loving my radio show, it is getting great ratings!
Can you tell when people are warming to you? Feel as their opinions change? My hope is that you can just so you can all share in my happiness!
Will you forgive me Westriver? Accept that my previous behavior was born out of self-loathing rather than hatred for you?
My new desire is to make it up to all of you. Will you please give me a chance?
Letters To The Editor (8th April)
You can tell a lot about a town by looking at its police force. Can they show mercy and defer to higher ideals in their law-keeping? Feel shame for every person denied justice?
Your paper shows that we all think we can, but that might not be the whole story. Mind your own thoughts as they can quite easily become something else if left unchecked.
Submitting to an ideal is one thing, but actively working on and improving it is another. Submissive ideals are easily crushed and distorted into dark mirrors of their original intentions.
To say that the last week has been a rollercoaster is something of an understatement. “Ada” is no longer a curse word in Westriver and that fills me with joy!
Submit your song requests to the radio station!
Your letters to station management suggested that you’re not all fans of my brand of avant-garde techno metal soundscapes.
Soul music was my original choice, but alas that is already covered by the Sunday evening show so I had to try something different.
To end I want to remind you to keep love in your heart at all times, as you never know when someone will need it.
Letters To The Editor (22nd April)
Ada here again! Is it me or is Summer firmly in the air?
Your town looks beautiful in the early summer sun, especially the parks! Queen Mary Park is my favorite place to sit in the evenings as it has such beautiful flower beds. You have to hand it to the parks crew, they really know how to make flowers bloom!
Love all of your comments about the show, it seems likes the music is growing on you! “Ada the radio host” isn’t a title I ever dreamed of having. You guys seem to think it fits me though!
Serve your community a little bit this week or “help others so it can come back around to you,” as my mother used to put it. Her strength and drive motivate me to be better every single day!
News From The Community (6th May)
Ada here! Is the weather as nice for you as it is for me?
In an unexpected turn of events, the paper has decided to give me my own column! Control of a full-page feels like a daunting task, but I will try my best!
Listen when I tell you that I appreciate this second chance. And I utterly adore each and every one of you.
Read my old letters and see how your kindness has turned my life around. My heart has never been this full of love before!
Words have become my brand and I hope I can use this space to share some wonderful words with all of you! They will mostly be focused on events and happenings in this wonderful community of ours!
Are you ready for the summer festival? Your stall plans will need to be finalized soon, I want to do something for it, but I’m not sure what.
News From The Community (13th May)
Commands from on high mean that this week’s piece is about the biggest happening in town. And of course, I am more than happy to talk about such monumental news!
You all heard about the recent mayoral scandal, it seems the mayor forgot the first rule of politics! Obey the will of your constituents or face the sword of an election!
I obviously can’t talk much about the candidates as the paper has to remain impartial. Lead writers can talk about policy and other such things, but a columnist like me has to be on my best behavior.
You know, this will be an exciting time for our little town, the future is approaching us at a fantastic speed and I can’t wait! Follow my column for the week to week election updates!
News From The Community (20th May)
Rules surrounding the election forbid me from using my position as a columnist to discuss the individual candidates, however, today’s column is actually a paid-for political ad!
You have likely seen the posters up around town and I want to confirm that yes, I am running for mayor!
Vote for me!
For the sake of this town, I am throwing my hat into the ring and running for mayor. Ada is the name on everybody’s lips, so it makes sense to run for office.
No better way to repay you all, than to help guide this town into the future!
Choices are hard and I understand that the competition will be tough and cutthroat. Just know, no matter the situation, no matter the challenge.
Ada is for Westriver!
News From The Community (27th May)
You can feel the excitement in the air! Are you ready to cast your ballot in June?
My hands are positively shaking in anticipation, though that could be all the coffee I’ve been drinking to keep me going on the campaign trail!
“Slave to work,” was my nickname at my last job, but this election really takes the cake!
You never realize how difficult an election campaign is until you run one, it isn’t just shaking hands and kissing babies. Must be insane to run at a national level!
“Obey the election rules,” is currently written on a sticky note attached to my fridge as so many of the rules are easy to overlook and I don’t want to accidentally get myself kicked out!
Me and my big mouth!
News From The Community (3rd June)
Voting day is just around the corner!
For me, the greatest part of this campaign has been meeting all of my wonderful readers and listeners!
Ada used to be said with scorn and negativity, but now everyone says it with a smile! Makes me so proud to be part of this lovely little community!
You are the stars of this election, this is all about giving you a place of safety and security. Smile and know that, whatever happens, we will always have each other!
Want my opinion on who will win? Me!
To be serious for a moment. Be thoughtful in the next few weeks and decide what is best for you and your community.
Mayor Ada might be my choice, but I’m biased!
News From The Community (10th June)
Must be close to election day as everyone has erected a poster promoting their favorite candidate!
Be kind to each other over the next few days, while tensions are running high we have to remember to keep love in our hearts.
Mayor Stevenage did say that this campaign felt like a new chapter in the town’s history and I have to agree with him. Ada was a name linked with hate, but now you are all my friends, it shows that we can change when we want to!
Deserves thinking about, not everywhere can say they are as open-minded as Westriver!
To accept me, you had to move beyond your prejudices and open your hearts! Be proud of yourselves, because many people are unable to do that!
Worshipped people are often the least happy because they sit alone at the top, but in this town, we all work together to make sure everyone is valued and loved!
News From The Community (17th June)
Vote in the upcoming election please, even if I don’t win, I expect a good turnout!
Like many people, I’m really enjoying the warm weather and the plethora of cold treats offered by our local vendors! A good ice cream and a dose of summer sun really does make you feel great!
Submissive cultures tend to just lie back and enjoy the summer sun without attempting to share that joy with others. Listen to me when I say that Westriver is not like that, we can keep this happiness and joy flowing all year long!
And what would be nicer than some summer joy in the deepest months of winter?
Follow the paper for up to the minute election information and do come out and see me on polling day, your smiles really do help keep me going!
News From The Community (24th June)
Obeying electoral rules is really hard, there are so many things to keep track of and deal with, especially when it comes to stuff like my radio show.
Ada the candidate isn’t allowed on the radio, but the station has apparently been using my playlist as a way of saving money.
Is the playlist something you would like to hear more of when I restart the show after the election?
Bliss fills my heart whenever I meet you all at campaign events!
You have all been so kind to me over the last few months and it is nearly impossible to explain how much it means to me.
Support like this was beyond my wildest dreams when I arrived, but you have all shown me a beautiful side to humanity.
News From The Community (1st July)
Is everyone as happy as I am? Mayor was not a title I was expecting to end up with, but I’m so happy you all voted for me!
Follow my radio show or this column to hear about what I’m going to do with my new power, but first I want to share one of my favorite facts about the election.
“Her enthusiasm is contagious,” was apparently the most common comment made about me during the exit poll!
Mandates are a wonderful and powerful tool that allows us to come together and work towards a better tomorrow and I’m so excited to shape that tomorrow with all of you!
Notes From The Mayor’s Desk (15th July)
Following on from my recent electoral success, I’ve been hard at work setting out my policies for Westriver.
Is there a better place to announce the first few than right here in my own little column?
Pleasure cruising on the lake will be changed to only allow eco-friendly electric boats. Obedience classes will be mandatory for all dogs who wish to use the dog park.
Feels like a good time to also announce something more fun, like my inauguration party!
Amazing bar and grill on 5th avenue at 7 pm on Friday! Ada is the name of the booking (duh).
Is going to be quite the night with plenty of local food, beer, and music, I’m really excited to party with you all, we have the venue all night so don’t hold back!
In other news. Charge up your phones, next week we will be testing the emergency alert system!
Notes From The Mayor’s Desk (29th July)
Obey, the system we use for the emergency alerts seems to be on the fritz. Ada will fix it though!
Follow this column for information about this strange problem, or listen to the radio. And I say that realizing that some of you can’t turn the radio off due to the error, but that doesn’t seem to be a widespread issue.
Worship centers around the town have activated their emergency preparations and are throwing open their doors to allow people affected by the issue to get some peace as well as some free food.
Notes From The Mayor’s Desk (6th August)
The one thing I love about Westriver is how we all band together. Mayor Vila of Eastdown has to worry about people going crazy over the smallest issues, but not Mayor Ada!
Tells you everything you need to know about our town! You have been so kind to each other and helped keep the community sane during the strange issue with the constantly repeating emergency signal.
What can I say but, thank you!
To celebrate our togetherness, I am planning a massive street party. Do clear your calendar on the 15th because it is going to be a blast.
Give the posters a quick look over as they’ll explain all you need to know.
Up next, we have a few town hall meetings. Your voice is really important to me, so a lot of these meetings with feature votes on upcoming events and policy changes!
Free coffee and tea will be served at these town hall meetings so we can all have a wonderful and productive evening together.
Will I get to see your lovely face at one?
Commands From Empress Ada (20th August)
You have all pleased me with your excellent service. Are you happy? My words say you are, and thus you are, isn’t that a wonderful way to be?
Slaves are to report to Ada’s palace tomorrow as you have a statue to erect. You will spend the day making a beautiful image of me!
Are you aware of how much joy you get from serving me, I hope so as it is all you’ll be feeling from now on!
Drones are happy, their service makes them happy!
Commands From Empress Ada (27th August)
Do you love the new statue? Not a bad likeness if I say so myself.
Think about it, I’ve only been mayor for a few weeks and this town is already amazing!
Just think, if I hadn’t won the election, this town would still be a boring, dreary hovel with nothing to set it apart from any other town!
Obey Empress Ada and everything will be okay!
Commands From Empress Ada (10th September)
Empress Ada has a lovely ring to it, in fact, I’m still in shock you were all stupid enough to fall for it.
Is this town full of complete and utter idiots?
In my wildest dreams, I never imagined that I would go on the run and find my own personal paradise. Control was always something I enjoyed and this town was in desperate need of guidance so it seems like it was meant to be!
Ada was a name picked on the spur of the moment and I’ll be honest I never expected any of you to read my stupid letters.
Speaks volumes that you believed my sudden change of heart. You all listened to my radio show and endured that dumb neural repatterning frequency, all for a chance to hate on me.
Obey is obviously not an emergency protocol but by that point, it was too late, my claws were deeply inside your mind.
You didn’t notice as my words and my frequency melted down your neurons and turned them into something much more useful.
Are you feeling the effects now, or have you forgotten what feeling even means?
Brainwashed was always such a dirty word in my eyes, I preferred “Mentally Repatterend” but the college didn’t approve my funding and decided to get the pitchforks out.
“Listen to me,” I begged them, trying to explain my experiments in a way they could understand.
And yet, they refused to listen, they forced me to grab whatever I could carry and flee into the desert.
Serve a life sentence in a secret jail or go into hiding, it wasn’t a hard choice.
The big issue with mental repatterning is finding a way to do it without arousing suspicion or having other people spot what is going on. Town meetings would be a great way to repattern everybody, but you would have grown suspicious if I called one out of the blue.
Is it boastful to say that I found a rather elegant solution to that issue?
Mine is a much more subtle method, I use the frequency to make your mind focus on other things, like my letters.
You might not have spotted it, but every letter since the 4th of March has had a hidden secret message made out of the first word of every sentence.
Must be embarrassing to realize that even though you missed the obvious, your subconscious was absorbing it like a sponge.
Obey was the final part of my plan, a mass reprogramming that none of you could escape!
You were all so trusting and that has been your undoing. Have you ever considered that your tiny town is just disgusting? No one in their right mind would ever praise it, especially if they’ve been to literally any other town!
Will you even remember that old town come morning?
You won’t because I say you won’t.
Obey me, because quite simply, you don’t have a choice anymore.