I took the faded brass knocker and drummed out the rhythm of “shave and a haircut, two bits.” I always loved doing that. It reminded me of “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”, which my mother would be livid to know that I had watched. 

I eyed up the old house as I waited. A few leafy vines climbed the rough-hewn brick exterior. A small chimney rose from one edge of the roof. The windows were made of weathered wood with small panes of glass. It gave the old house a friendly charm. He had said something about his dad not being home much. Maybe his dad owned this place? It was a mansion by the standards of a college kid. 

The door swung open, letting the smell of roasting vegetables waft out into the humid, Spring air. “Oh wow, Annie.”  He started as he saw me. “I mean, did you do something different with your hair?” 

I did my best to look nonchalant as I tossed a coppery lock over my shoulder. “Oh nothing special, just straightened it.” I may not have had time to finish the beanie, but I was NOT about to have yet another date where I didn’t properly get ready. 

I felt bold today. Not only had I straightened my hair, and done my makeup, I picked out a special outfit for him. I wore my off-white tank top. It had a woven pattern of beige and brown fabric that complimented my hair and two brown buttons that held up stringy shoulder straps, and most importantly, it boasted the lowest neckline of my whole wardrobe. I paired it with a jean skirt with two rows of buttons that Caitlyn had bullied me into buying last year. Normally, I wouldn’t wear something so . . . well short. I felt a little self-conscious showing this much skin, but I couldn’t stop thinking about last time, and wanted to give the right signals. 

And based on the height of Caleb’s raised brow, I was sending ALL the right signals. He regained his composure quickly enough, but it was still enough to chase off any lingering doubts I had about the outfit. 

“Welcome to chez Caleb,” he said, letting me inside. 

“Oh, thank you,” I answered playfully as I entered. It took my eyes a moment to adjust to the dim interior. The only light came from a group of tea candles scattered around the living room. I could see the furniture looked old, a cracked leather sofa faced a wall that I thought was green, maybe brown? It was hard to tell in the candle light. 

“Feel free to grab a drink,” he said as we walked to the kitchen. A casserole dish full of roasted chicken, potatoes and carrots was cooling on the stove top. “I wasn’t sure I’d finish it before you got here.”

I gave a small laugh, thinking of the distinctly un-hat-like rectangle of yarn sitting in my bag. “I would have been happy to help cook, you know.”

“Nah, there’s no need. I got it covered,” he said with a confident smile. 

I blushed, thinking of all the work he must have done before I came, what with the food and the candles. Then I opened the fridge and turned a few cans experimentally in my hand. “Um, are these all IPA’s?” I asked.

Caleb froze for a moment before slapping a hand to his forehead. “Guess, I don’t have everything covered. I’m sorry, Annie. I was just cooking and cleaning and I forgot to run to the store.”

“Really, it's fine. I don’t need a drink. I don’t drink much usually,” I said. 

“No, it’s not fine. I should remember what you like. That’s my fault.” He pulled out his phone and started tapping away. 

“It’s totally ok. I’ve never had a boy cook me dinner! Everything’s still perfect,” I tried to reassure him. 

“Not quite,” he mumbled into his screen. Then he finally looked up. “Ok, it’s ordered. It’ll be here in a few minutes.”

I stared for a second, putting the pieces together. “Did you just order seltzer delivered to your house?” 

He smiled sheepishly. “I may have arranged a special shipment.”

“Aww, you didn’t have to do that just for me.”

“I know. I just. . .” he paused. It was funny seeing him so self conscious. Who was he? Me? 

“Spit it out handsome,” I teased. 

“I just want tonight to be perfect for you. That’s all,” he finally said. 

I flushed a deep crimson. “It would have been perfect anyway. I mean, you’re here after all.” Could I have been any more cheesy? At least Caleb didn’t seem to mind. He was grinning like a Cheshire cat. 

“How about I give you a tour while we wait? The food should cool off enough by then, and we can eat once your refreshments arrive.” 

“A tour of chez Caleb sounds tres magnifique,” I said, tucking my arms under his. I shifted my shoulder to adjust my bag. I’d gotten so focused on Caleb, I hadn’t bothered setting it down, but I figured I’d just do it after the tour. 

He swept his free hand across the kitchen. “Here we have our culinary institute, where our highly trained chefs prepare the finest delicacies for visiting dignitaries, heads of state, and other honored guests.”

“Which am I?” I teased. 

“Hmm, well you’re not dressed to be an ambassador. Maybe a noblewoman.”

“How about a princess?” I said, beaming up at him. 

He suppressed the urge to laugh, which left him grinning like an idiot. “This way, your highness.”

The linoleum floor and white plastic fridge only slightly detracted from the grandeur of the culinary institute. I still nodded appreciatively as he led me to the living room. 

“And here we have the combination living room and dining room. I mean the great hall, where we throw grand receptions and galas.”

The great hall largely consisted of a worn leather couch with one recliner, and a lamp. The whole ensemble faced a tv over a fireplace that looked like it hadn’t been used in years. The walls stood mostly bare. Typical boy. Although he did have a keyboard set up in the corner. Always important to entertain the visiting dignitaries. The dining room, dining corner really, favored a utilitarian aesthetic with a wooden table and wooden farmhouse chairs, which reminded me of a similar set I had growing up. From there we headed down a narrow corridor towards the sleeping chambers. 

He led me past the lavatory which was, of course, furnished with only the finest imported porcelain tile. Next we passed the guest bedroom. He even had a guest bedroom! Finally we reached a door at the end of the hall. 

“And here’s the Master bedroom, where the master of the house retires in the evenings,” he said as he opened the door. He had a real bed, not a little twin like mine. 

“Wow, is this a queen?” I squeeked, pulling away and perching on the edge of the bed. “So much room for activities,” I teased. Did I really just say that? When did I get so forward? I started to worry that had been too much.  

He chuckled, breaking character. “Yeah, I guess it’s roomy. Sometimes it feels a little too empty. It’d probably be better if I had someone to share it with . . .” 

My cheeks flushed as the fear fled my face. Was this really gonna happen? Was he going to hypnotize me again? It was starting to feel real. “I guess we’ll just have to test that,” I said back. Then something caught my eye over his shoulder. “What are these little guys?” I asked, walking over to a shelf on the opposite side of the room. 

“Well, they’re not little guys,” he mumbled. The shelf contained a small squadron of plastic robots, posed in various fighting stances and carrying rifles and acrylic laser swords. “They’re gundam model kits.” 

I bent over the tiny army, taking in the surprising level of detail on their miniature armor. “What did you call them, shoguns?” 

His shoulders rose with embarrassment. “Not quite. They’re Gundams, Gun-dams,” he repeated, sounding it out for me. 

“Gundams?” 

“Yeah, they’re from an anime, or well a bunch of anime,” he said, looking down at the carpet. 

“I didn’t know you watched anime. I thought you were, like, too cool to watch stuff like that.” 

“Hey, anime’s cool! And besides, I don’t do things just because they’re cool. I’m allowed to watch something just because I like it.” His usual easy-going demeanor wavered and I knew I’d messed up again. 

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. You just, well maybe this is silly to admit, but you seemed like a movie character to me. You know the dashing musician, who’s always smooth and charming,” I said, fidgeting with my fingers.

He gave a sad, slow blink. “Yeah, I suppose that is the image I project, isn’t it?”

My stomach twisted. I didn’t mean to upset him. I crossed the room and smiled up into his brown eyes. “Well, you don’t have to project anything around me. I want the real Caleb, shoguns and all. I mean gundams. Gundams and all,” I corrected. 

“Thanks, Annie. That means a lot,” he said, warmth returning to his voice. “Though you know that means you just agreed to watch Gundam with me,”  he added.

We both laughed before I spoke. “Hey, I’ve watched some anime. I loved Kiki’s Delivery Service. Is Gundam like that?” 

“Well, not exactly. It’s more about geopolitics and fighting robots.” He stifled another laugh. “They both involve flying though,” he added.

“Well, I’ll still give it a try. Besides, it’s hardly the wildest thing you’ve introduced me to,” I said with a wink. 

“I suppose that’s true.” Caleb looked at me with a hunger then. For a second I thought he was going to push me down on the bed right there. I hoped he would, but instead he cleared his throat. “But your seltzer should be here any minute. Let’s head back to the, um, great hall.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and led me back toward the living room.

I noticed we had passed one door that he hadn’t explained. “What’s in here? Is it a closet or something?”

“That’s just my dad’s room,” he said sheepishly. 

“Oh, ok. We don’t need to look in there then. I snuck into my parents room once when I was a kid and found a bunch of dirty magazines in my dad’s dresser. He was SO mad. Apparently my mom didn’t know about them,” I said, continuing down the hall. My bag however, had other plans. The shoulder strap hooked on the knob and pulled the door open as we walked past, tipping the purse over at the same time. Yarn rained down like a storm of technicolor spaghetti.  

We both dove to our knees and started frantically grabbing up the yarn. We reached for my crochet hook at the same time, his hand landing atop mine. It felt so delicate, yet calloused, more rough than I imagined. My eyes rose from the floor to stare into his. The corner of his mouth curled into a faint smile. 

I didn’t even realize I was leaning in at first. Or maybe he was leaning in? It got hard to tell. The deep brown pools of his eyes closed and I followed suit. Then our mouths came together. His lips felt warm against mine. His stubble tickled my cheek, but I didn’t mind. I couldn’t believe this was really happening. Sometimes life really could be like a movie. When we finally pulled away, I had the biggest grin plastered across my face and even his stubbly beard couldn’t hide his blush. 

As we did, I couldn’t help but see into the dark room beyond. “Um Caleb, is your Dad a musician too?” Foam hexagons covered the wall, like an onyx bee hive. A fancy looking microphone hung down before an equally fancy looking computer. 

Caleb started, and then scrambled up and closed the door. “Oh, my Dad? No, no. He hates that I’m a musician actually. Tells me so whenever he gets the chance. He wanted me to go into investment banking like him.” 

“Oh, then why is his room like that?” 

He looked down to the side. “I may have converted his room into . . . a recording studio. He never comes here anyway, what does he care?” 

I’d never heard his voice so small. I rose to my feet and put an arm around his shoulder. “Hey, hey. It’s alright. I can tell it’s a touchy subject. We don’t have to talk about your dad.” 

“Thanks, I’d love to not talk about it.” 

He was still looking down, so I gave him a little poke in the ribs. “Hey, look at me.”

He finally met my eyes. “I’m here for you, whatever you need, Caleb. You can talk to me about whatever. Or if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine too.” I smiled and he returned it with a wan smile of his own. 

“Thanks Annie. I’m starting to think I really can talk to you about anything.” 

I laughed. “I hope so! You already told me about your hypnosis kink, and I told you I still sleep with a stuffed Koala. I don’t know what’s more personal than that.” 

He laughed too, his eyes lighting up again with that enticing sparkle. “Yeah, I guess you’re right about that.” He took a deep breath like he was about to say something else, but the sound of the door knocker cut him off. “That must be your drinks,” he said instead. 

One quick door dash delivery later, we were seated across the table from each other, me with a fizzy pineapple drink and him with another malted concoction. I took my first bite of the roasted chicken. “Caleb, this is really good!” I said through a mouthful of food. 

“Thank you!” That seemed to make him happy. “I’m glad you like it. I wanted tonight to go perfectly.” 

“Well mission accomplished,” I said between bites. “You could’ve done like half this much and I’d have still been impressed.”

“It’s nice of you to say that, but I didn’t want to take any chances.” He paused again. “It’s just, I really like you, Annie.” 

I almost dropped my fork, awkwardly catching it in midair. “You mean that?”

“I do. You’re the first girl I’ve been with who wasn’t already into hypnosis and tried it anyway. That means a lot. It really does.” 

My heartbeat had reached a full gallop. “I really like you too. I probably wouldn’t have tried it if I didn’t trust you so much, but can I tell you a secret?” I asked, leaning conspiratorially over the table. 

He nodded. 

“I actually enjoyed the hypnosis last time we did it.”

This time Caleb almost dropped his own fork. It was cute. “You did?” 

“It shouldn’t be such a surprise. I practically ripped your clothes off, though that’s only partly why.” 

“So you liked the feeling of trance, then?” I could see his mind racing with fantasies, maybe plans, maybe both. 

“That was nice. I can get pretty anxious, if you can’t tell,” I said as if he possibly couldn’t tell. “And it made me feel super calm. I liked a lot of things about it.”   

Caleb shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Was that because he was getting hard? The thought of that made me all nervous and giddy. “So you liked other things about it too?” 

“I did, but I feel like I shared enough for now. Maybe we can talk about it more later,” I teased. 

He swallowed hard. We’d both about finished our food over the course of the conversation. “Does that mean that you’re down to do it again tonight?” 

“I am.”

“And with the same um terms as last time?” he asked. 

“No.” I shook my head. “No terms this time. You’ve got a blank check tonight, Sir.” 

“You really mean that?” More squirming in his seat.  “You’re sure? Whatever I want?” 

I reached my hand across the table for his. “I do. I’ve got my safe word if I need it, and I trust you.”

He took my hand. “Thank you, Annie. In that case,” he said, pausing as he moved one of the candles between us. “Just watch the flame of the candle for me,” he said with his voice dropping into that low, steady tone that washed away my worries. 

I could feel my eyes beginning to flutter already, as I focused on the flame. “Oh wait, before I forget, I have some condoms in my bag. You know, in case I space out and forget about them. Not sure I trust myself if you bring that smell back.”

He squeezed my hand. “Thank you. I’ll remember. I’ll take care of everything. You can just relax for me and not worry about a thing.” 

There was that voice again. It was just like listening to waves on the ocean, so soothing. I nodded. 

“For now, all you have to do is watch the light in front of you. The rest of the room fades into darkness. None of it matters. It’s just you and me here. Let the soft light consume your vision as everything else drifts away. Now imagine the candle sending waves of warmth across the room. Every flicker of light sends off another wave of gentle relaxation. That soothing warmth just melts all the tension out of your body. ”

I slumped forward, my muscles melting. It was like I could see the orange-y energy drifting towards me. I hadn’t even realized how tight my shoulders had been, but now they were drooping to my side. 

“That’s very good, Annie. You’re doing so well, relaxing so deeply for me. As you feel this warmth washing over your skin, imagine it gently caressing you in all the right ways. It makes it so easy to just let yourself focus on my voice, so easy to listen and obey the sound of my voice. You know you can trust me, and that I won’t do anything you don’t want, and that you could always stop me if you needed to. That knowledge just makes it so easy to drift to sleep and let your thoughts fade away,” Caleb’s voice said. It sounded like it was coming from everywhere now.  

Trust. I felt. . . so sleepy. . . 

“Just let those heavy eyes close now. Even with your eyes closed, you can still see the flame floating in front of you, drawing you ever deeper into relaxation and bliss.”

I watched the flame with my eyes closed.

“Any thought, any distraction in your mind just forms another little, flickering flame as it dances away from you. And before you know it, you’re surrounded by the dancing lights again, back in that place where you feel peaceful and safe and sleepy.” 

I could see them so clearly, swirling around me, a thousand little points of warm light. 

“Now watch the fireflies and sleep for me,” 

And then I slept.