“I’m going to do it. I’m just going to do it,” I repeated as much for myself as for Wally. I paced the small dorm room, nervously watching my phone. The feeling of the plush rug between my toes soothed my nerves a little.

“Are you sure Annie, what if he says no?” Wally answered. Well I answered for him in a squeaky voice. Wally can’t speak for himself, being a stuffed koala and all. But when you live alone and moved away from your friends and family, you need company somehow. Especially since Caitlyn was studying abroad in Spain this semester. She was my only close college friend, and with her gone I was hurting for conversation. Enter Wally.

“I know Wally. But we have to take the risk. It’s my senior year and I’m running out of time to ask him. I went to school so far from home to have adventures. And so far my only ‘adventure’ has been joining the crochet club. I mean sure I’m acing my classes. But I don’t wanna look back on college and just see four years of homework and test scores. Besides I may never get another chance like this,” I said, trying to hide the shakiness in my voice.

“You’re so brave Annie. Surely he’ll be impressed by your courage.”

“Thanks Wally. You always know just what to say. Ok no more procrastinating. I’m going in!” I puffed up my chest and marched across the room to where the phone lay on my pink sheets. I took it in my hands and read the message again.

Caleb: Hey Annie, I just wanted to thank you for crushing this group project. You may have saved my degree. I really owe you one.

I read it one more time. I still couldn’t believe I had Caleb’s number. I knew it was just for Professor Douglas’s psychology class. But still I had a boy’s phone number. And not just any boy, but Caleb!

He was always so confident and outgoing. It was like he was everyone’s friend. He just had a way of putting people at ease. He was nothing like me. Meeting new people didn’t scare him at all, a true prince. I had a moment of doubt. What would someone like him want with someone like me, so naive and sheltered? I was kidding myself, thinking he’d want me. The phone started to slip from my grasp.

As the black box nearly tumbled to the bed, I caught it. No! My online therapist said to stop overthinking and live in the moment. My thumbs went to work before the mirage of my bravery could evaporate again.

Annie: You’re welcome! I was happy to do it. Honestly it was just nice to be around you. You make me feel so sure of myself, like you don’t judge me at all. I’ve had a crush on you for forever now. Your dark, wavy hair is so cute. And your band is so cool. And you’re so nice to me. But it seems like you always had a girlfriend. I couldn’t keep track of them all. I know I shouldn’t have been, but I was excited when I heard you broke up with Mimi because it meant maybe, just maybe I had the tinniest chance. And just that itsy-bitsy hope made my heart flutter. So I wanted to ask if you’d go out with me? It would be the best day of my life if you say yes.

I reread the message before sending. Too much, way too much. I shouldn’t just pour my heart out like that, but once I started writing it just all spilled out. I frantically started deleting and tried again.

Annie: You’re welcome! I was happy to do it. Honestly, I had fun hanging out with you in the library. I’d love to hang out again sometime, not for a class.

Yeah. Yeah. That felt better. Play it cool. Just be cool, Annie. I could be cool. Totally. I hit send.

Instantly my head filled with dark fantasies. I imagined Caleb showing my message to all his friends and laughing, making fun of me. The socially anxious, flat-chested girl who talks to her stuffed animals thinking she could date the cutest guy in her class. What a joke. My heart sank at just the thought of it.

Then I saw them, dots, three of them, flashing on the screen. “Wally he’s responding, right now! So soon!” I sat on the bed and clutched Wally to my chest. I held him between me and the phone, like a shield against the brewing rejection. Then the message burst into existence.

Caleb: I had fun with you too. I’d be down to hang out sometime.

I squealed with joy. “Wally, he said yes! He said yes!” I leapt off the bed and started twirling Wally around my tiny dorm.

“That’s wonderful. I always knew he would. You’re the sweetest girl in all the land,” Wally responded.

“Aww Wally, you’re just saying that,” I laughed, still spinning him around the room.

“Shouldn’t you respond to the young prince instead of dancing with me?” Wally said.

“Yes, You’re right!”

I ran back to the phone and started typing.

Annie: Awesome! Im so happy you said yes. I was terrified you might turn me down. Being home schooled before college and all I haven’t talked to boys much. So I had no idea what to say or if I was being too forward or too pushy or too anything. I hadn’t thought as far ahead as what to do if you said yes. Is there anything you want to do?

I knew as soon as I read it that I had poured my heart out again. Thank goodness for editing. I went to start deleting and retyping but my stupid finger brushed the send button. The blue bubble formed, immortalizing my outpouring in the digital equivalent of a stone tablet. I gasped and dropped the phone.

So stupid. I had been doing so well, playing it so cool. There was no way he’d go out with me after that. He would realize I’m just an awkward girl with no real friends who doesn’t know how to talk to people. My moment in the sun was over. Then the response came. I braced myself.

Caleb: No worries at all. You weren’t being too forward. I have to admit I was a little surprised. I kind of thought you just stayed in and studied all the time. But I’d have never known you were interested if you hadn’t said anything. Do you have plans tonight? I was gonna go to The Comet to watch my buddy’s band play. You’re welcome to come with.

I gasped. He still didn’t shoot me down after that mess of a message. I was so happy I could cry. Then I realized, “Wait he wants to do something tonight! I thought I’d have more time to get ready, maybe buy a new dress or straighten my hair. And I’ve never even been to The Comet. What should I wear?” I looked down at Wally, panicking.

“It’s ok Annie. He’s probably not expecting you to do all those things. It just matters that you go,” he said, his button eyes as calm and unblinking as ever.

I looked up at the nest of frizzy, red curls on my head. “You’re right, Wally. You’re right. I have to get ready,” I said, darting to the small bathroom. I pulled my makeup kit out from under the sink and got halfway through applying my eye liner before I realized I hadn’t responded. I quickly turned to my phone, careful to write something cool the first time.

Annie: Cool, Cool. Totally. I’m down to go. What time?

There, not a trace of oversharing to be found. Send. The response came right away.

Caleb: Awesome. Let’s meet there at 8:00.

Annie: Sounds Great.

I quickly finished the rest of my makeup. I deliberated for probably too long on what to wear. But finally I settled on a modest, dark green dress with a pink floral pattern. Looking at my reflection, I couldn’t help but think I looked willowy and too thin. I wished I had more curves. But then I reminded myself that he already said yes, so he must think I’m at least a little pretty.

I picked Wally up off the ground and carefully set him on the bed with the other stuffed animals. “Ok Wally. I’m off for my first real college date. You’re in charge while I’m away.”

“You can leave the kingdom in my capable paws,” he said confidently. I know Wally’s face never really moved, but I could swear he looked proud of me.

I closed the door and headed out into the night.

* * *

The door of The Comet swung open, and immediately I felt overdressed. Mentally I kicked myself for not looking it up beforehand. Everyone here was wearing ripped jeans and T-shirts with band logos. I almost turned right around and marched back into the warm, humid air. I probably would have if not for . . .

“Annie, there you are!” Caleb called from the bar. He waved me over to an empty stool beside him.

It scraped loudly on the concrete floor. Then it creaked as I sat down. I winced, desperately wishing that had been smoother. I almost leaned in to hug him, but then decided that was too much. So I ended up just leaning forward and then back. “Caleb. It’s so good to see you. I’m glad you were free tonight,” I said smiling.

He smiled back and I almost melted out of my stool. I still couldn’t believe this was really real. “Of course. I’m glad you were free! I know it was kind of short notice. But I figured why wait?” he chuckled.

Maybe so I could have time to lookup the place we’re going and do my hair and dress appropriately? Those all seemed like good reasons to wait to me. But I didn’t say any of that of course. I wanted to seem cool and spontaneous. “Yeah for sure. No time like the present right?”

Caleb flagged down the bartender. “Seth. I’ll take another Hopaholic IPA and whatever Annie wants.”

I panicked. Whatever I wanted? I didn’t know what I wanted. I’d barely drank at all since turning 21. “I . . Um . . . I’ll take the same as him,” I stammered. If Caleb liked it, it had to be something a cool person would drink.

Seth pushed the two glasses of frothy amber liquid in front of us. Caleb extended a credit card, but Seth waved it away. “It’s on the house. I still owe you from before.”

After the bartender had walked away, I whispered to Caleb. “What does he owe you for? Is that how he pays you when your band plays?”

He answered in that deep, soothing voice of his. “No. No. Nothing like that. My dad’s not home much, so I let him and his wife stay over when their place flooded a while back.”

“Wow that was so kind of you! You’re like a real Prince Charming,” I said, my eyes lighting up.

“I wouldn’t go that far. It’s just that I’m not that close to my family. So I get pretty close with my friends,” he said sheepishly.

I nodded, feeling bad for him. “I’m sorry to hear you’re not close with your family. My parents were super strict and controlling, but we’re very close,” I replied.

I absentmindedly lifted my beer and took a sip. I instantly recoiled at the bitter taste. My face scrunched up and I let out a sputtering cough.

Caleb smirked down at me. “Yeah that seems right. I never pegged you for an IPA girl.”

I coughed again. “What? No? I love drinks that taste like weeds. Why have something sweet and fruity when you can have some good ol’ bitter grass juice,” I said. Then I realized that wasn’t a very cool thing to say and tensed up.

Caleb gave a hardy laugh at that one. “You’re funny, Annie. It’s ok. IPA’s are kind of an acquired taste. A lot of my interests are,” he said, gently rubbing my back as I cleared my throat. The tension melted from my muscles under his touch.

Caleb ordered me a seltzer, which agreed more with my tastes. Then the lights dimmed as the band took the stage. Caleb leaned next to me and whispered in my ear. “I’m really glad you could make it tonight. Dave’s a good friend, but his music isn’t really my speed. I just came out to support him. I’m having way more fun with you here.”

I could feel my pulse quicken. He was so close to me. “I . . I’m having fun too. Why don’t you like his music?” I leaned into him so I could whisper back.

“Well he’s just . . . You know it’s probably easier to let him explain,” he replied.

Dave pulled the microphone free of its stand and began walking the edge of the small stage. He hand long, brown hair tucked behind his ears. The stage lights cast looming shadows down his face. “I want to thank everyone for coming out tonight. We’ll be playing my new concept album entitled ‘Miranda You Lying Snake’ 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . .4” An angsty guitar rift echoed through The Comet.

“Miranda let me read you your rights,

cause you’ve got no claim on my heart!

I’m so tired of the endless fights,

and the way you always act so smart.”

The song went on like that for a while.

“This is his third concept album about Miranda. They keep getting together and breaking up again,” Caleb explained.

“Why do it like that? Either you’re in love or you’re not. Why make it so complicated?” I asked, confusion clear on my face.

“Oh Annie. I wish life was that simple,” Caleb answered. Then he wrapped his arm around me. I leaned my head on his shoulder. It felt natural. The music sort of faded into the background. I was too busy listening to the faint sound of his heartbeat. We stayed like that for a while, I wanted it to last forever.

But the show ended eventually. Turns out there are only so many rhymes for Miranda. After the show Dave came and gave Caleb a big hug. He thanked us for coming and then gave me a hug too. I patted him on the back and didn’t even make a fuss about him getting sweat on my dress. Finally the place started to clear out.

“Can I walk you home?” Caleb offered.

“That would be nice,” I answered, trying not to act too nervous.

He deftly reached down and took my hand as we walked through the warm Spring air.

At one point he tugged on my hand to stop me. I looked up confused, but he gestured back down to the ground. I had almost stepped in a puddle.

“Oh thanks. I guess I’m a little distracted,” I said quietly.

“No problem. I’ve got your back,” his smile just made me feel so safe. We went around the puddle and walked on.

We were back on campus before I knew it, standing in the quad before my dorm. I looked up at the tall skinny building. It was full of tiny dorm rooms like mine. I always thought it looked like a huge bookshelf, towering over the quad. As I stared up at it a, yellow pinprick of light appeared in my periphery, then a second and a third. Soon the night was full of tiny, dancing lights. They spun around us like stars.

“Caleb look. Fireflies! The first ones of the year. They’re beautiful,” I gasped.

“They are,” he answered looking around with me. Under his breath he added “They aren’t the only ones.”

That made me feel warm and giddy. I don’t know if he even meant for me to hear that. He really thought I was beautiful.

He turned his gaze back to me. “Thanks again for coming out tonight. I had a nice time,” Caleb said, smiling warmly.

“Thank YOU for coming out. I asked you out remember,” I teased

“How could I forget. It’s not every day a girl like you asks me out.” He leaned in as he said that. My heart jumped up to my throat, but I leaned in too. Then he kissed me. His hand rested delicately on my cheek, drawing me towards him. He felt so warm.

The night had been perfect, just perfect. I couldn’t have imagined it going any better. I never wanted it to end. Maybe that’s why I said it. “Do you want to come upstairs? Just to . . . you know . . . hang out for a bit.”

“I’d like that,” he answered smiling.

He followed me into the elevator and up to the 5th floor. As we approached my room a sudden realization struck me. “Wait, one second. Let me tidy up before you come in!” Without waiting for a response I darted inside. I rushed to the bed and picked up Wally. “Wally you’ll never guess how well the night went. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. But I can’t have you guys out when he comes in,” I whispered. Scooping up the other stuffed animals, I ran to the closet and shoved them inside. They fell against the door as I closed it, but it would do for the time being.

I opened the door and leaned against the frame. “Come on in,” I said, trying my best to sound sexy.

He embraced me with a passionate kiss, pushing me inside and letting the door close behind us. Before I knew what was happening, his arms had swept under me and he lifted me onto my pink twin bed. His hands pushed at the hem of my dress with a rabid eagerness. It made me want to squeal. He really wanted me. My fingers hooked into the hem of his shirt, until I could lift it up and over his head.

“Caleb tonight has been a dream come true,” I said beaming.

“Good. I’m glad,” he whispered, just inches from my lips.

“What do you dream about?” I asked with a giggle. “Like what kinds of things do you like?” I was pretty inexperienced, I’d only had sex in high school the one time with Jack. And that could at best be described as “short”. So I may not have known quite what I was getting myself into with that question.

He let out a small laugh. “Look Annie, you don’t have to worry about that. Just having you is enough.”

I could feel him holding back. “You can tell me anything,” I said softly. I gently ran my fingers through his hair.

He looked off out the window, lost in thought. “Ok if you really wanna know I’ll tell you. I don’t usually tell people this early, but I feel really comfortable with you.”

“I’m all ears,” I said, kissing his ear.

Caleb took a deep breath. “Have you ever been hypnotized?”