“Oh, Mary, could you stay a moment? I have something I want to talk to you about.”

Mary glanced back towards Professor Taberna. The aranea was at her desk at the front of the classroom, typing on a laptop. “Oh. Okay.” She looked at Lizzy, ducking the apisae’s pretty golden eyes. “I'll, um, see you at lunch?”

Lizzy's eyes flicked between Mary and the professor. She nodded, smiling. “I'll save you a seat?”

“Yes, please.” Mary smiled back. “Thank you!”

As Lizzy left, Mary made her way down the aisles to the bottom podium and waited awkwardly as the aranea finished typing something up. The Bible lay on the podium, still open to the last verse the professor had given them to analyze—1 Corinthians 11:15.

“Sorry to keep you, Mary,” Professor Taberna said, her voice a slow, distracted drawl. “Just something I need to finish entering in.”

“It's no problem,” Mary said politely.

Profesor Taberna made a few clicks, then turned to face her. “And done. So, Mary, I noticed you haven't turned in your last two weeklies yet. Is everything...?”

“Oh. Yes.” Mary swallowed. “I, um, talked to Chrys...”

“Yeah, mental health emergency. She told me.” Professor Taberna smiled sympathetically. “I know how the first five weeks are. It can be pretty some heavy culture shock, right? Even at a place like Hope’s Hill.”

Mary nodded.

“But I still need you to turn your assignments in on time.” She opened a window and scrolled down, and Mary, upon recognizing her name, realized Taberna was looking at her grades. “Let's see, you had... a pretty solid start, but then I see this steep decline as we hit the new section. Mary, Political Impact is a tough course.”

“It's not that it's hard. I mean, I did the reading, but—”

“I didn't mean tough intellectually. We're talking about some hot button issues here. A lot of you are coming from public schools, or maybe you have neighbors or even family this stuff ties in with, am I right?”

Mary swallowed. “No, not... really.”

Professor Taberna stared at her for a moment. “Well, even so, this is an area that can be challenging. You know I've had students try to debate me? Right in the middle of class? There's a lot of divergence of opinion on this stuff, even within the faith.” She reached over and plucked the book from the podium, holding it up with a rueful smile. “But unfortunately, it's just not really up to us, is it? Someone a lot smarter and wiser took the time to think it out before the first seeds of the Garden were even planted.”

Mary nodded with a weak smile. “Yes. I mean, I know that.”

“And people might try to make you feel guilty about it, about this whole issue. They aren't bad people; they have some very powerful ideas of their own. It's not wrong to listen, and empathy is never a waste. But you're a great writer, Mary, and you’ve got a strong grasp on these subjects. I don’t want you to feel like you have to self-censor here, or… or feel guilty about what the Good Book says about what these people are doing.”

“I've just been distracted.”

Professor Taberna seemed to consider this for a moment. “Maybe that's true. And hey, I don't wanna tell you how you feel.” She put the Bible down with a chuckle. “But if that's why you've seemed so distracted lately... just let me know if you have any questions about it.” She turned and clicked a button, then typed something in. “I'm giving you extensions on the last two weeklies. But I want them in by the end of Week Six, got it?”

“Mm!” Mary nodded quickly. “I'll get them written A.S.A.P.”

“That's what I like to hear. Oh, and Mary?”

Mary paused, already heading back up the aisle.

“Don't expect any more check-ins from me. I try to keep an eye on promising freshmen…”

“I-I’m not—”

“... but college isn't gonna coddle you. Keep your head up. It's easy to get lost.”

~ ~ ~ ~

“Everything okay?” Lizzy asked, as Mary settled into her seat in the dining hall.

“Yeah.” Mary smiled sheepishly. “I, uh, had to freshen up after, so...”

Lizzy frowned. “No, I mean, what did Anne want from you?”

Mary paused. Oh, right. “Professor Taberna was just... worried about my grades. It's nothing big.”

“Wow.” One of Lizzy's friends raised an eyebrow. It was the lampyra classmate who'd been talking behind Mary's back a few weeks ago.

“What?”

“Nothing, I guess I just...” She giggled, lights twinkling in her eyes. “I guess I just figured you were some kind of super-student.”

“Not everyone who's shy is a super-student,” Denise said, struggling with jamming the straw into her juicebox. “Besides, freshman year's hard.”

Mary bit her lip.

“Eh, I guess so. But what else is someone gonna do in their room all day?”

Denise rolled her eyes and gave Mary a look Mary didn't know how to read. Mary forced a laugh, eyeing her salad. “Well. I guess I'll have to spend it studying now, anyways.”

She could feel Lizzy's eyes lingering on her. She made herself look up and meet Lizzy's gaze. Lizzy's previous expression slipped into an amused smile.

Mary smiled brightly. Her wings and heart fluttered in time.

Deep down, she knew she'd crossed a line for herself somewhere.

She didn't know if she wanted to go back.

~ ~ ~ ~

Mary sat in bed, legs hanging over the side and idly kicking as she listened for the sound of Lizzy's approach. The walls were pretty much soundproof, but she knew Lizzy's nightly routines wouldn't take long.

She tried to get her wings to stop fluttering. She tried to convince herself that she wasn't going to ask the second Lizzy came through the door. Just like she'd convinced herself the last two nights.

Her professor's words rang in her ear, but they rang cold and distant. She hated that. She hated how hard it suddenly felt to care. To believe. Once it had been so easy to read these verses and brush off everything people said about them. Now, though, everything felt... blurred. Like the ink in the book had always been wet, and by a single touch, she'd left it smudged.

Late at night, when she was tired, and desperate for touch, she couldn't help but mull over the verses and search for a loophole.

She heard a click, and the door swung open. Lizzy came in, her hair done up in a towel-wrapped beehive. She’d clearly just showered, but was already fully dressed. She smiled up at Mary. “Hey, Mary! How's the weather up there?”

Mary smiled, feeling that fluttering in her chest threatening to spread to her stomach. “Oh, you know. Altitude sickness.”

Lizzy glanced over at Mary's desk. The holy book lay open on her desk, its relevant sections bookmarked. “You got an assignment to work on?”

Mary swallowed as Lizzy went over to look at the page the book was open to. “Just playing some catch-up. I'm done working on it for tonight; I'll finish it tomorrow.”

Lizzy smiled, but the smile seemed different somehow, less full. She went over and sat on the bottom bunk.

Mary hesitated, then fluttered down from the top bunk. Her wings kept beating even after she landed. “Is everything okay?”

Lizzy looked up at her, then quickly nodded. “Oh, yeah! I guess I'm just... tired, is all.”

“Oh.” Mary's wings slowed to a stop. “Really?” Did that mean Lizzy wouldn’t be in the mood for…? No, that didn’t matter, she ought to be worrying about her friend.

“Yeah. Just had a long day. Um, long week.”

Mary felt a lump in her throat. Long week. Had she been the cause of that? “Do you want to, um, talk about it?”

Lizzy bit her lip. “You might be the wrong person.”

That lump turned into a poisonous lead weight. Mary couldn't quite breathe, so she just gave a small nod and flew back up to her bunk.

“My new nightlight arrived,” she said after a long silence.

“Oh! That's good.”

“A-And I think I've... you know, my wings have been feeling a lot stronger.”

“Oh.”

“And...” Mary took a deep breath. “W-What I mean is, I shouldn't n...”

“Nobody's going to the concert,” Lizzy blurted.

Mary stopped short. She blinked, leaning over the side. “What? Everyone's going.”

“No. I mean, not any of... Denise canceled, and turns out Lucy is working the evening. Nobody I know is gonna be there this Saturday.”

“What about your parents? And don't you have, um, five sisters?”

“Apparently my big sister's giving some big dissertation... thing.” Lizzy gestured irritably, as if trying to show the dissertation thing’s shape with one hand. “They're all going to that.”

“Oh. That's bad luck.”

“I'm… used to it.” Lizzy's casual voice cracked like an well-worn shoe. “It's a big family. And her speech is really important.”

Mary frowned. “That doesn't seem fair.” She alit from the bunk and came back down. After a moment’s hesitation—surely it was allowed?—she took a seat next to Lizzy. “This concert, it’s important, too.”

“I guess.” Lizzy shifted, her palms resting forward on the sides of the bed, her head hanging low. “I mean, yeah, totally. I just wish… ugh.” She turned and buried her face in Mary’s chest, grabbing the mothgirl and pulling her in close. “It just fucking sucks!”

Mary’s whole mind surged into a panic. Her wings were beating fast. “Yeah,” she squeaked, “it. Does. It really does.” She could only think to wrap her arms around Lizzy and hold her close, vainly praying that Lizzy wouldn’t hear the pounding of her heart.

Lizzy grumbled something that Mary couldn't make out through her chest.

Mary bit her lip.

She knew why Lizzy hadn't wanted to vent to her now. She’d already herself refused to go, claimed she didn’t have the time. She knew that all she had to do to make Lizzy feel better was abandon the lie—and was the lie really worth anything? Was it worth even trying to pretend anymore?

She felt Lizzy flinch slightly, and Mary realized with a start that her hand had just slipped to Lizzy's head, her fingers entwining themselves into Lizzy's curls. She expected Lizzy to pull away. Instead, Lizzy just… went limp.

Mary licked her lips. “Can I, um...?”

Lizzy reached up, grasped Mary's wrist, and started to guide her through the motions of petting her head.

Neither of them said anything. Lizzy's breathing gradually slowed. Mary’s wings stopped fluttering. She lay against Lizzy, feeling her breathing and Lizzy’s fall in time.

After about ten minutes, Mary felt Lizzy starting to stir. They each disentangled from the other, and Mary flew back up to her bunk before Lizzy could tell her to go.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Mary?”

The soft murmur jolted Mary so hard she nearly flew straight backwards off the bed. She froze in place, her wings going still mid-flap. “Y-Yes?”

Lizzy gave a sleepy giggle. “Are you, um...”

Mary's hand flew from her lap. She swallowed. “N-No. I-I mean—um—” It was the same night still. Mary had not been able to sleep. Lizzy's smell was all over her right now, and the memory of Lizzy nuzzling her chest had her whole body vibrating. “I th-thought you were asleep,” she squeaked.

“I was.” Mary heard Lizzy sitting up in bed. “I guess I'm not sleeping so great tonight.”

Even through her embarrassment, Mary's heart sank. “I'm sorry, that's...”

“Are you trying to ‘go flying’ on your own again, Mary?” There was unmistakable amusement in Lizzy's voice.

“I—well—”

“You know your wings are too weak for that.” The apisae’s chirping voice was suddenly much closer as her head poked up into view. She tilted her head to the side with a sweet smile that made Mary melt a little inside. “Why don't you just ask me for help?”

Mary's fists clenched around her sheets. She noticed Lizzy's eyes flick to them briefly. Her heart gave a jolt as she realized that Lizzy recognized this as a tell.

“I-I didn't want to bother you.” Mary took a deep breath to steady her voice. “You've got a lot on your mind, Lizzy. You should rest.”

“Mm. I don't wanna.” Lizzy's wings buzzed, causing Mary's heart to give an almost painful twinge, as the apisae settled into bed in front of her. “I like helping you. If that's okay with you.”

Her scent was everywhere. Mary wriggled back against the wall, and she wasn't sure whether she was trying to get more comfortable, trying to get away, or already trying to prepare for what Lizzy was about to do to her. “I-I guess so,” she squeaked. “I mean—”

Lizzy pressed in close, and the sudden hunger in her eyes took Mary's breath away. It was only there for an instant, and then gone again, but for just a moment, Mary could have sworn...

... that Lizzy wanted this as much as Mary did.

That deafening thought actually made her miss Lizzy's next words, and when Lizzy pressed in close and slid her leg between Mary's thighs, Mary found that any objections she could possibly voice suddenly sounded totally meaningless anyways.

Her head was buzzing before Lizzy's wings even started to flutter.

When they did, pleasure took Mary's whole body like a great storm. She started to pant, then cry out, then moan through Lizzy's hand as it clapped over her mouth.

“There we go,” she heard Lizzy purr, and Mary stared up at the apisae with naked, helpless need. “That's better, right~?”

“Uh—uh-huh!” Mary managed through the hand, grinding her hips against Lizzy's thigh. She was too sleepy to even pretend to resist this anymore. It felt so good, so nice, so right, so unlike anything she'd ever felt before, and better still, it meant Lizzy would be close to her, meant she had Lizzy's attention for just a few seconds more, and Mary never wanted to be without Lizzy, never wanted Lizzy to not be near her...

“Gosh, you're so into this,” Lizzy said with a giggle. She thrummed her wings a little faster for a moment, smirking at Mary's squeal. “We're practically doing it every night now. Too bad your wings are so weak, right?”

thrum

Mary's nails dug into Lizzy's thigh as she rocked back and forth. Lizzy's face contorted, and at first she thought Lizzy was in pain and felt guilt, but then Lizzy's next words came out, husky with pleasure.

“G-Gosh, it's—you're so—my wings really do a number on you, huh?”

The words set Mary's mind on fire with a confusing mix of excitement and insecurity. She wondered if Lizzy had done this before. She wondered if she was the best. Lizzy clearly liked how much it affected Mary, right?

The thoughts made no sense. But she needed more. She needed to know that Lizzy liked this. And here she was, taking so much, and...

thrum

Mary mewled and quivered atop Lizzy. She was already close to cumming, but no, no, she had to hold on as long as she could, because she had to make this good for Lizzy, she needed Lizzy to need this as much as she needed it—

And Mary knew how.

She pressed in closer. Her breaths were shuddering, quivering, and she almost felt surreptitious, like she needed to surprise Lizzy with it, like if she was caught, the spell would be broken, and Lizzy would want nothing to do with her.

Her leg slid deeper, and she felt Lizzy's thighs part until her skin touched the silk of Lizzy's underwear. It felt... that was sweat, right?

thrum

It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Mary stared into Lizzy's eyes and bit her lip hard, desperately trying to hold her own climax back, and gave her wings a single beat.

Lizzy blinked.

Mary licked her lips, swallowed her shame, and put all her focus into her thoracic muscles.

thrum

Lizzy's eyes widened.

Mary felt an electric thrill rise in her. She ground her hips faster, panting, groaning. Everything felt liquid in her brain right now, liquid and gooey and stupid and good. She just wanted more. She beat her wings as fast as she could and relished the powerless look in Lizzy’s eyes.

“O-Oh,” Lizzy panted, “gosh, th-that's—that's—”

Now who's weak? Mary wanted so badly to tease, but it was all she could do to keep her mouth shut and not drool on the both of them, she was right on the edge, she had to—had to—

Their bodies thrummed and buzzed together.

Lizzy let out a moan.

The sound tipped Mary over. Everything in her vision went pink. Her lips parted, and she let out an uncontrolled squeal of pleasure as Lizzy's hand fell away and climax grabbed Mary's body and shook her like a leaf in a hurricane.

All she could think about was Lizzy. Lizzy's eyes, wide and desperate. Lizzy's lips, full, plump and parted. Lizzy's chest, heaving labored breaths, slick with sweat. Mary's wings fluttered as rapidly as she could, and all the pleasure felt somehow that much more intense when she could see it mirrored on Lizzy's face.

“O-Oh, God, yes!” Lizzy moaned, and Mary couldn't even process the use of His name in vain, because she was too busy humping, grinding, beating her wings, trying to get closer to that second peak, desperate to get Lizzy to her first. “D-Don’t stop!”

Mary had no intention of stopping, but her wings were already getting tired. She whimpered, forcing them to keep going as fast as possible, willing her muscles to obey. She was just so weak compared to Lizzy…

“More,” Lizzy moaned, clutching at her. “More more more!”

“T-Trying!” Mary cried, grabbing at Lizzy, lacing their fingers together, digging her nails into Lizzy's back.

Lizzy's back arched, and she visibly shuddered in pleasure, in need, in raw, hopeless lust. “M-Mary—!”

One word echoed in Mary's head. It was like something had unlocked.

More.

She let her hand slide down to cup Lizzy's rear, to squeeze it, making Lizzy gasp and squirm. Lizzy's wings buzzed faster, and Mary was drooling now, but she didn't care, she knew what she had to do—

More.

She leaned in and nuzzled Lizzy's neck, panting, humping, breathing in Lizzy's scent. Her hand went to Lizzy's chest and grasped at one of the breasts through the fabric, squeezing, groping—

“M-Mary!” Lizzy's voice was strained, gasped out, barely a whimper. Her hand was squeezing Mary's almost hard enough to hurt.

But every time Lizzy gave a cry or a moan, Mary's need became more overpowering, and she came closer and closer to the edge, and she needed Lizzy to cum first—

More.

Mary stared at Lizzy. She looked above Lizzy's head.

More.

She took Lizzy's head and gently guided it down. Down until they were directly in front of her.

Lizzy's voice broke away. Mary thought she heard the beegirl whisper her name.

But the buzzing was everywhere. It drowned out everything. Mary was so, so close, and all she had to do was—

MORE.

Mary leaned in, licked her lips, and took the tip of Lizzy's smooth antenna between them.

She felt Lizzy's body explode in her clutches. Lizzy's whole form shook. “MARY!” the beegirl squealed.

Mary licked, sucked, kissed. More. more. more. She ran her tongue delicately up and down the sensitive instrument, sucked daintily at the tip, more, more—!

She felt Lizzy's orgasm hit like an earthquake before the sirens go off, and by pure instinct, she shoved Lizzy deep into her chest as Lizzy's moans of bliss filled the air.

But it wasn't smothered enough to protect Mary from the sound of her own muffled name on Lizzy’s lips.

And no one was covering Mary’s mouth.

Mary's orgasm melted her brain completely this time. She couldn't stop licking, couldn't stop humping, her wings were too tired to move but Lizzy's wouldn't slow down, humming, pulsing, thrumming, THROBBING—

Everything in Mary's brain went weak and gooey and stupid, and a single word filled the dorm room just like it had filled her mind every day since she’d first come here.

“LIZZYYY!”

She collapsed, spasming. Lizzy collapsed on top of her, still humping, still buzzing, her lips descending and planting kisses on Mary's neck, on Mary's throat, her hands grasping at Mary's clothes as if to tear them off, and Mary told herself she didn't understand but she knew what this was as Lizzy’s lips brushed hers, she knew the taste of the Fruit of Knowledge on her tongue—

Their lips met.

Mary's eyes closed.

She didn't need to see Lizzys beautiful face anymore. Not when she could taste her. Lizzy’s lips were just as soft as she'd ever imagined, and she only now realized just how often she'd imagined.

Lizzy broke the kiss. The apisae stared down at Mary.

Mary lay limp in Lizzy’s arms. Oh, God, that was… a kiss.

That was a kiss.

Mary stared up at Lizzy, helplessness choking her words.

Lizzy stared down at her, cheeks flushed, lips parted, panting, her eyes heavy-lidded. She smelled so good like this. She looked so good like this.

Mary's heart fluttered. She... felt so...

Three sharp raps struck the door.

Both girls went as stiff as statues.

There was a pause.

“Hey, Mary? Lizzy? You girls okay?” It was the RA, her reedy voice rising above the two girls' heavy breathing.

Mary didn't know what to do. All that they had done—that she had done—came flowing back to her like high tide, cold and salty and as heavy as the earth beneath her. She stared up at Lizzy. Her lips moved, but no sound came out.

She saw a glint enter Lizzy's eyes.

Lizzy lunged over and grabbed the nightlight to pull it out of the wall. She sprang out of bed and grabbed the towel she had used to shower, toweling her face off as quickly as she could in a few seconds. She grabbed the laptop from her desk and practically flung it onto the bunk—Mary, totally startled, had barely enough sense to catch it.

As Lizzy approached the door, she turned and gestured furiously at Mary. Registering what Lizzy was implying, Mary flipped the laptop screen open just as Lizzy opened the door.

“Hii, Sylvia!” Lizzy warbled, and Mary could hear that radiant smile on her face. “Sorry, were we being too loud?”

Sylvia was a stocky girl, as the cicadae often were. Her face was pretty, and usually wore a smile, but it was well-worn and plastic, as Resident Assistants' often were. “Yeah, a... little.” She leaned around Lizzy's shoulder, eyes narrowed. “Hi, Mary. What's going on in here?”

Mary felt sick inside but Lizzy was smiling, so she smiled, too.

“We were just watching a video,” Mary blurted.

“—watching a movie,” Lizzy said at the same time. She looked back and gave Mary a look that said, I'll handle this. Back off. She turned back to Sylvia and gave a guilty laugh. “We're super sorry, Sylvia.”

“Well, it's past quiet hours.” Sylvia frowned. “And don't you have rehearsal tomorrow?”

“No,” Mary and Lizzy said, again at the same time. Mary flushed. Lizzy, ignoring her, went on, “That's Mondays and Wednesdays. I do, um, have that concert in two days, but...”

“Oh, right.” Mary guessed that invoking the concert had been a deliberate ploy on Lizzy's part, because Sylvia suddenly looked awkwardly guilty instead of awkwardly suspicious. “Yeah, sorry I had to cancel about that. I'd love to go with everyone, but...”

With everyone? Did Sylvia not know?

“It's totally fine.” Lizzy laughed lightly. “It's not a big deal, anyways. Sorry we woke people.”

“Yeah, it sounded weird!” Sylvia laughed, too, clearly too pleased by the subject change to remember she was supposed to be prying. “Lucy thought you were killing each other.”

“I mean, Mary got close. I made a really bad pun. That's maybe the scream you heard.”

“What was the pun?”

Mary saw Lizzy hesitate. Her antennae twitched towards one another.

“Ugh,” Mary said quickly. “Don't spread it around. It's bad enough I had to hear it.”

Sylvia frowned. “No, really, I wanna know!”

Lizzy seemed to rally. She shook her head with a grin. “I think if I tell you, she'll have to kill us both. G'night, Sylvia!”

“Aw, you two are no fun,” said the Resident Assistant, who, as a Resident Assistant, would know. “Good night, you two! And, uh, good luck at rehearsal tomorrow!”

Lizzy smiled. “Thanks!”

She went to close the door. Mary's heart started to pound a little less.

The door clicked shut.

Lizzy turned and looked up at Mary.

Mary looked back at Lizzy. She didn't know what to say.

No, wait. She did. She took a deep breath. “Lizzy, I don't—”

“We can't do this anymore,” Lizzy said flatly, going to sit on her bunk.

The cold waters were back. Mary felt like a wave had hit her right in the stomach.

“But I,” she said, clutching at her own wrists and clutching at what she'd been about to say, “I... I think I'm—I mean, I—”

“What?”

Mary couldn't make herself speak. She had to whisper, using nothing but the air in her mouth. “I don't want to stop.”

There was a long silence.

Mary finally managed to take another breath. “Lizzy, it—it m-makes me. Happy. What we do. I think I'm...”

“No, you're not. And no, it doesn't.” Lizzy was leaning over the bed, her legs pressed tightly together. Her antennae were twitching wildly, almost tapping together. “And—I'm not a lesbian, Mary.”

Mary blinked.

“I just—and you're n-not, either, this is just a stupid—this is brain chemicals, Mary.” Lizzy's voice was trembling. “It’s your first time, and you think it’s what you want, but it’s not.”

“That's not true.” Mary felt her cheeks burning, but worse, she felt anger burning in her chest, righteous anger she hadn't felt able to muster towards anything but herself in weeks. “That's not true. What we did—”

“There's no we, Mary! You just orgasmed while you were nearby me! That’s all!”

Mary's breath caught. “You can't—can't seriously expect me to—”

“I shouldn't have helped you at all! I was trying to do you a favor, but I-I didn't know you'd get all...”

~ ~ ~ ~

Lizzy trailed off. She didn't know how to finish that sentence, that cruel, cutting sentence concocted specifically to hurt as much as it could. Lizzy was too panicbrained to do anything but break things. The sentence didn't need to be finished, though.

Maybe a piece of her had been hoping Mary would interrupt her again. That Mary had something else to say, some way of stopping everything, of fixing all of this.

Instead, the silence hung long and cold.

Mary didn't say another word that night.

Lizzy curled up in the bed and tried to keep her sobs as noiseless as she could.

She'd known for a long time that she was going to Hell. Now she knew she belonged there.