After their Plinkekko session, Melba and Elliot interacted with Herschel more. He noted how contradictory the two were; constantly bickering back and forth about any number of grievances yet never spending much time apart. Perhaps the most amusing feature of their strange relationship was their room. While it appeared from the outside that the two had separate rooms, they actually had one room with two doors. The sheer absurdity of this did not go unnoticed by either Roq or Saguaros, the latter of whom took great delight in indulging the two in their endless, fraudulent feud. 

The two seemed perfectly content living like this, far away from the luxurious ivory tower they’d dominated as the creme of the crop of the former Terran Accord. By most accounts, the quality of life every floret had could easily be considered “luxurious”. Herschel got the impression that part of the luxury the former upper class enjoyed stemmed from the fact that those “beneath” them weren’t allowed to partake in it. The affini seemed to take particular offense to this way of thinking, and Herschel certainly couldn’t blame them. 

It was so easy to condemn the idea of a scant few hoarding resources from the many when it was happening with other creatures, yet bringing that same ire to the fellow humans who were actually doing it seemed almost wrong. Saguaros assured him that it was Accord propaganda at work, with Melba and Elliot outright admitting as much. 

“You generally lived with constant fear lingering in the back of your mind of the lower classes rising up and fighting back, and then deluded yourself into thinking that you were genuinely better than them and deserved everything you had.” Melba explained it with the same casual tone one would use to describe the rules of a schoolyard game. Elliot chimed in, “I’m glad to be done with it.” 

“How’d you meet Saguaros?” Elliot turned bright red at Herschel’s question. Melba’s face twisted into a sinister smile. “Oh yes Elliot, how did you meet Saguaros?” Elliot swallowed before stammering out “I-it’s such a dull story, I don’t think you want me to tell it.” Melba rolled her eyes before retorting “Well if that’s the case, you won’t mind if I told it then?” Herschel was becoming familiar with this game of theirs. Whatever Elliot said, he’d never admit wrongdoing or defeat that wasn’t on his terms. Melba had him cornered, but he knew how to fight back.

“Certainly you may. In fact, I’ll gladly return the favor and tell Herschel your side of the story when we get to it.” Melba’s eye twitched but before she could mount a defense, Elliot went in for the kill. “I mean, it’s not like you’d be embarrassed by some light ribbing, hmm?” Melba could be wrong, nasty, or any number of abrasive adjectives, but what she couldn’t be was weak. The daggers she stared at him were undercut by their proximity to one another and the way they held hands intimately.

“Well, shortly before the general public was informed about the incoming …invasion by the Affini Compact, us people of means were invited to a summit to discuss the matter.” Saguaros’ melodious voice interrupted Melba from the other room: “What did we say about sugarcoating atrocities, dear?” Melba trembled from the gentle scolding before continuing.

“Sorry. When us plutocrats were invited to the summit to discuss the future of the Terran Accord, Elliot seemed like his usual, pompous self. He’d offered himself up as a diplomat, arguing that his supposedly unbreakable will and natural charisma made him the perfect candidate.” Elliot piped up, “Sorry to interrupt, but I seem to recall you being all for my candidacy as the energy sector diplomat.”

“Yes, I was. I thought you’d make for a fine sacrificial lamb. May I continue?” Elliot rolled his eyes then snuggled up next to her, motioning her to keep talking. “Elliot went with the envoy of diplomats to, well, here.” Melba motioned towards the room and by extension, the ship as a whole. “His meeting with the Compact energy experts was almost immediately cut short once they realized Elliot didn’t know the first thing about his supposed specialty.” Melba took a moment before adding, “To be fair, none of the diplomats had any real expertise in their respective fields… but still.”

Saguaros slipped into the room and set down a tray of snacks before sitting on one of the suspiciously comfortable rocks. She ran a hand through Melba’s hair, which she leaned into. “You’re not trying to make my little Elliot look bad, are you? You’re at one of my favorite parts of the story and I’d hate for Herschel to get the wrong idea…” Melba’s cold and calculated demeanor vanished completely when she interacted with Saguaros, as evident by her eyes widening at the prospect of disappointing her caretaker and her waiting for Saguaros’ approval to continue. A slight nod of her head was all she needed. 

“Right, so Elliot ran into Saguaros while he waited for the other diplomats. They got to talking and for the first time Elliot was up against somebody that knew nothing about his background, status, or achievements. Of course he’d interacted with people that were less than impressed by him, but this was in a completely new context. When the other diplomats returned to Terran space, Elliot was not among them.”

Saguaros pulled Elliot into her lap and nuzzled her forehead against his before taking the reins of the story herself. “He was so darling, I simply couldn’t let him go! He got along swimmingly with Roq, and took well to distancing himself from his more destructive tendencies. But something was missing… Or rather, someone.” She nodded down at Elliot, signaling him that it was his turn to pick up the story. He rubbed his hands together in giddy anticipation.

“Melba DuPont was a powerful woman. She ruled with an iron fist, and nobody dared cross her. Well, almost nobody.” Elliot smiled slyly then continued. “There was only one person who dared defy her and was considered her equal, and with him out of the way she was truly unstoppable. The final days of the Accord were hers for the taking, yet she disappeared from the public eye. The truth was, she was lonely. Her armies of sycophants and yes-men did nothing to fill the hole in her soul. So when after months of hearing nothing from him, her fabled rival showed up at her residence unannounced. The moment she laid eyes on him, she broke down and cried.”

“I did not!” Melba’s daggers may have been sheathed for Saguaros, but they were out for blood when it came to Elliot. He smiled, relishing in his power over her for a moment before throwing her a rope. 

“There were the beginnings of the start of a tear or two. And for the monstrous Melba DuPont, that was breaking down and crying.” Elliot pulled Melba into Saguaros’ lap with him, his deprecating praise of her power clearly endearing him to her. “But back to the dashing, roguish rival.” Melba rolled her eyes, which only served to encourage Elliot to continue. “He looked rejuvenated and relaxed, his devilish good looks bolstered by the sleek mahogany-colored collar he wore in place of a necktie. He had one final business proposition for her…” Elliot looked around the room, clearly pausing for dramatic effect before continuing. “and that was the last anybody saw of Melba DuPont.” 

Saguaros chuckled, petting her theatrical florets with each hand. “For the best, really. I much prefer Melba Renne Third Floret to Melba DuPont.” Melba smiled and snuggled into Saguaros, murmuring “Me too.”

<> <> <>

It happened one morning, about an hour after breakfast. Herschel was sitting on the second most comfortable rock at his makeshift campsite, reading. (The most comfortable rock was a little bit too good at lulling him to sleep to be considered an optimal reading nook.) The pile of plant matter began to shift, moving more than Herschel had ever seen. 

Connifred’s core rose from the pile, becoming encased in vines and bark as a humanoid shape began to form around it. Connifred’s new body was huge, almost larger than the version of him from Saguaros’ picture. A wild mane of fir needles surrounded the beginnings of his head, now topped with antler-like branches. His face was the last piece to come together, with warm amber eyes opening and fixing on Herschel.

The two stared at each other in silence for what felt like an eternity. Herschel released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding before speaking. 

“Do you know who I am?”