Interlude: A paragraph-long gush about how cute Simeon is

by Ezra Carmichael

Tags: #cw:genocide #D/s #dom:plant #Human_Domestication_Guide #hurt/comfort #m/m #scifi #CW:dubious_consent #dom:male #pov:bottom #pov:top #sub:male

Translated and annotated by Mats Syringa, Twenty-Third Floret from the original by [unrecognizable symbols], One Hundred Forty-Eighth Bloom. Note: Do not show to Simeon.

I must admit my bias1 here. You are the most adorable2 sophont I’ve read about in a very long time. Not only do you have the most delightful bilateral symmetry,3 but you also have two eyes! Two eyes! Imagine that!4 Beyond adorable.5 According to my research6 your species also has a diploid/haploid reproduction cycle7 which is just beyond precious.8 Plus Mats tells me that you personally have an interest in parapsychology, possibly the cutest9 field of research for a sophont species still barely beginning to blossom.10 You are so clearly cute that it would be a travesty11 for you not to become a pet. Please12 embrace your adorable nature13 and do what you do best: be a precious cutie.
1 This was hard to translate. Literally, “I should point out the self-evidently obvious,” but it’s idiomatically used to express an opinion that only a very non-cute sophont would deny.
2 “Petlike.”
3 I’m at a loss to explain why [unrecognizable symbols] thinks this is cute. I suspect she thinks that everything about every sophont is cute.
4 Liliac also thinks it’s cute that we have two eyes.
5 I couldn’t work out a way to adequately express this. Maybe “Having two eyes is so cute that it automatically makes domestication mandatory”? The phrasing is awkward at best and the grammar, which was impeccable up to this point, is honestly atrocious from here on. I think she just got too obsessed with how cute she thinks Simeon is and couldn’t properly verbalize after this point.
6 She didn’t include a citation.
7 No, I don’t get this one either.
8 This time the word doesn’t mean “petlike” so much as “makes you inherently/already a pet.”
9 No one tell Simeon this, but the word here has a strong suggestion that the behavior is petlike because it is primitive and irrational.
10 You can’t actually alliterate in the [unrecognizable symbols] dialect, but the phrasing was poetic so I tried to convey that.
11 The word here is most commonly used to describe war crimes.
12 The exhortation is about as strong as you can get. “Please” doesn’t do it justice.
13 Literally, “accept that you are already a pet.”

Show the comments section (4 comments)

Back to top

Register / Log In