Natalia awoke, the hunger gnawing in her stomach a dull pain…There was only the light rumble of the ship and the hum from the ventilation, no one was making noise outside. Rolling over and picking up the data pad revealed the time to be…0434…star damn it. Maybe she could get some sleep before her appointment with Selma. 

 

Or maybe not, without any distractions the hunger continued to claw at her insides, keeping sleep far out of reach. But there was nothing else to do either, except for lying there and staring up at the ceiling. It had been seven days since the jump, a full week of half rations and hormones. She was out of the half doses now, nothing more to forget. Hopefully, the station would have more, but she doubted it. 

 

And what then…what happened if they got to the station, what would happen to the affini, to Betula? The affini were strong and she had no idea how large this station was, either way, one side was going to lose. It was a war for the species' survival and all that, but there was no way the affini actually wanted to hurt them. No matter what happened she was not going to fight Betula or anyone else for that matter. They had gotten along so far and without the affini there was no way they would have gotten so far in repairing the ship. 

 

Next on the list was repairing the outside portion, which meant working with Betula outside the ship……awkdbawkbdkaw. Natalia buried her face in the pillow and let out a soft squeal of self-directed frustration. At this point she wasn’t entirely sure if she gave a single credit about terran pride, the plant was way too fucking pretty. Betula was so nice and helpful and sexy and nice and awdjawncawnc. She had called her pretty, Betula, the most beautiful being in existence had called her beautiful. Was it possible to date an affini?....No, what the fuck was she thinking? It was certainly treason, the crew would instantly believe that Betula had brainwashed her, and the stars would go out before she got the confidence to ask the affini.

 

Time continued to drag, boredom becoming indifference, inference becoming drowsiness, drowsiness at some point allowing her to sleep. The alarm from the data pad woke her up, it didn’t feel like she had slept at all. The hunger was intense, piercing through her body, intensifying the exhaustion immensely. It drove her out of bed and with shaking motions she made her way to the armory. There was no one there yet, thank the stars, standing in a line now would be torture.  

 

Verek looked normal as always, how could he handle the hunger so well? Was he stealing-…No, that was ridiculous. He gave her a smiling nod while handing her the precious, precious ration “I would recommend eating slowly, or your stomach might reject it and that would be most unfortunate.” One of the other crew members…Knut if she remembered right had puked up his ration yesterday, poor guy. 

 

She gave her thanks and began eating the half-cube slowly and deliberately. From the very first second that the bland cardboard texture filled her mouth the pain began to ebb. It was easier said than done to follow Verek’s advice. The rapid taps of footsteps behind alerted her a second too late “right on time” the arm of the doctor wrapping around her neck “now let this humble vampire get a taste of your blood.” Selma chuckled at her own joke and dragged Natalia inside the infirmary, the smell of sterilizing alcohol burned her nose.

 

In the blink of an eye later Selma began filling the first vial and asking her medical question, writing the answers down with professional speed. There was no real way to know if the shitty state her body had deteriorated into was due to a lack of food or hormones. Once Selma put away the notepad, a more relaxed expression formed on her face “holding up fine?” The process of taking blood had almost become a social event for her and Selma these last few months. 

 

It was usually mutual complaining to each other, it wasn’t needed this time “the last seven days I have almost died in war, been momentarily captured by aliens, lost my hormones, starved, got a promotion, had an awesome party in my honor and I finally feel like I am part of the crew. I have had worse weeks, which feels wrong to say…but yeah. Not great, not terrible.” Starving was honestly better than feeling dead inside with no hope for the future. 

 

Selma chuckled, a devious smirk on her face as she removed the needle “not bad, you sure the sexy affini you have been flirting with has nothing to do with it?” The – the – how? – what? – “don’t lie to me. You two are making it difficult not to notice.” Was it that obvious? Wait, Selma had said that both of them were doing it. 

 

Her mouth moved three steps before her mind “You think she likes me?” Selma let out another chuckle and mockingly rubbed her forehead with her index and thumb. Fuck! she should have denied it, that outburst was pathetic, she was not some lovestruck teenager…though it very much felt like that. 

 

The doctor put on a cotton piece to stop the bleeding from the needle insertion point “Betula might be the first affini I have ever met, but the mutual lesbian pining on display between you two transcends any societal and cultural differences.” Betula was pining? After her?! That couldn’t be the case, impossible. Selma turned to begin testing the blood samples, giving Natalia a moment to collect herself. The slow swishing of the centrifuge began as the fluster gave way to minor panic. 

 

“Please don’t tell anyone, if the others found out…” Getting everyone killed because of her stupid horny brain would be a low point, even for her. Selma wasn’t a snitch, but this was war after all, hooking up with the enemy was a big no-no. 

Selma rolled her eyes and leaned against the desk “I won’t tell a soul, and I am not judging. The tall white flowered one is not bad looking either.” Her brow furrowed in disappointment “not that he was at all interested in me mind you.” The speed of the centrifuge sped up, the tone of swishing becoming higher by the second. 

 

“You flirted with Alyssum?” The image of the two together instantly burned into her mind. 

 

The doctor sighed “I tried. Barely got a reaction before he brushed me off and continued to talk about how lacking our medical capabilities were. I’m not sure what to be most offended by, him deflecting me like it was nothing or him pointing out our medical technology was, and I quote: sad and inadequate. Like I don’t know that, does anybody have any idea how hard it is to run a medical operation alone with these resources? Should have stayed on Duri, frontier medicine my ass.” Another long sigh followed the rant and Selma deflated. 

 

Ouch, there was a lot of pent-up frustration in that rant “I think you are doing a great job. Like you give a shit about my health, that is more than can be said for my previous doctors.” Selma smiled gently, an of course I do in her eyes. A moment of self-reflection brought to mind why the flirting had surprised her “honestly I thought you were interested in-“ Natalia cut herself off. Was there a way to stop saying stupid shit? 

 

Selma’s eyes narrowed “don’t stop there, interested in who?” She took a step forward, her finger wagging threateningly “you better spill the beans, or my bedside manners are going to be thrown out the airlock.” There was no choice, she had to cave. 

 

Natalia pressed her hands together pleadingly “it is just a rumor, I promise….I heard that you were interested in…Luis.” Selma threw her head back and let out a long, very loud laugh. 

 

“That dense bastard? You would have more luck trying to romance an actual plant. One time I got really drunk and…On second thought you don’t need or want to know. Suffice to say, that rumor has not had any valid empirics for several years. I am not close to as persistent as I would need to be, now that blue affini…what’s her name? Agreatu?” Despite staying in the infirmary all day Selma had a very extensive web of information.    

 

It hit her that this was the first time in her life exchanging gossip “Ageratu, what about her?” The gender euphoria was nice, and it was pretty fun in itself. 

 

Selma grinned, appreciating her enthusiasm “I don’t know what sort of alien feelings they got going on between each other, but I am all for it. That egg needs someone with serious willpower to pull him down back to earth, and she might have what it takes.” There was some type of dynamic going on between the two.

 

Natalia hesitated “aren’t we at war with them though?” They could coexist on the ship sure, but afterward…

 

The doctor shrugged, seemingly unconcerned, though she did take an extra look to make sure the door was closed “girl, this war is not lasting much longer, hell it might already be over. If the three dorks we have on board are their frontline soldiers I feel pretty confident that living under their rule can’t be worse than the accord.” A short *pling* sounded from Natalia’s data pad “oh, you must get going, don’t want to be late for your date now do you?” Selma gave her a sly wink. 

 

“sh…shut up.” Natalia fled the infirmary with a furious blush on her face. That conversation hadn’t settled her mind in the slightest, what was she to do? Her hopeless thoughts were interrupted as a shout was heard coming from the direction she was walking: the armory. She arrived at the same time as many other curious crewmembers, forming a crowded circle around the intersection just outside the armory.

 

There Verek was holding another crewmember to the ground, his knee against their back and arms in a painful lock. The crewmember on the ground, the man who had puked up his meal yesterday had a large bruise on the left side of his face, his lower lip split and bleeding. The quartermaster on the other hand had no sign of injury. 

 

The confused murmur in the crowd was silenced as the captain, closely followed by Duran cut through the masses “what is going on here?” The tone was sharp and direct, cutting through the air like a whip.

 

Verek kept Knut down on the ground while looking at the captain, his breath sort of heavy “was helping Ari with something when I heard a commotion behind me. Found this one had sneaked in and was stuffing his face with food. I Restrained and brought him here.” A shocked murmur rippled through the crowd, turning to anger by the second. 

 

The captain held composure, a face immutable as iron “let him go.” Verek released the lock and took a step back, Knut shuffling to his feat shamefully “how many rations did you eat?” 

 

Knut looked around, his gaze cast downwards “….three, sir.” Three? The mention of that much food made her stomach grumble, she could understand the temptation all too well. 

Everyone looked to the captain, they knew something bad was about to happen “that is two days of rationing. Verek, remove my food allowance for the next two days to balance it out.” Another ripple went through the crowd, this one of shocked silence. Had she heard that correctly? Two days without food? 

 

Verek was equally shocked “but what about-“ 

 

The captain cut him off, the whip-like voice without mercy “good. Now last I remember I did not permit a break for any of you. Knut, go to the infirmary and get that bruise checked out. The rest of you, get back to work!” The crew dispersed quickly, no one tempted to stick around any longer. Natalia got to the infirmary and collected her tools before heading to the airlock to meet with Betula. Tow days without food? It sounded like a nightmare…best not to think about it. Betula greeted her at the airlock with a wonderful smile and at the sight, her heart felt two tons lighter.

 

>>>>>>

 

The sound of claws tapping against rock echoed through the tunnel, the absence of any others proving they were alone. She getting better at mimicking the lxtle’tric’til form, she had chosen a large warrior to imitate, and her understating of their way of sensing the world was becoming better as well. There was little light down here, the few luminescent crystals few and far between, so sound and smell were the superior senses. 

 

Slkt’kree moved in front of her, a sign of trust she had learned, getting ambushed in these tunnels where turning was difficult could be a death sentence. She had no illusions that the brood mother was dangerous no matter what front, her razor-sharp mandibles and claws protected the front, her duel stingers dripping with nerve poison protecting her rear.  

 

While her progress in understanding the xenos was coming along nicely, convincing the brood mother to evacuate her brood to the surface had not borne fruit. They were so deep below the surface that getting enough affini down here to forcefully evacuate was would take too long. That and the fact that if the brood scattered into the endless systems of tunnels, then the impenetrable black rock would ensure they could not be found in time. 

 

The tunnel widened into a sizable chamber {we have arrived, you sought privacy, no creature will disturb us here.}  A small crystal on the far end of the room did an impressive job of illuminating it. The left wall was covered in carvings forming detailed pictures in strange formations, it had to have taken years, maybe decades to make. The other side of the room contained a bed, crushed rocks piled on top of a thermal heat source, and a depression filled with jelly feed and the mushrooms that dominated the lxtle’tric’til’s diet.  

 

This was her sleeping den, or rather the brood mother’s sleeping den {thank you brood mother, we will talk about the evacuation, time brings greater risk of danger.} If she could only convince Slkt’kree then the rest of the brood would follow without question. 

Slkt’kree’s eyes blinked in unsynchronized rapid succession, a display of irritation {I am thankful for the compiler, the collapse of sitr’exla grotto made food sparse, now we have abundance, I sense no danger.} She had shown her the projections and explained the readings that indicated further quakes…to little effect. 

 

Today she had another approach {on the surface we have a new home, fresh water, endless food, no predators or hostile broods, safety for you and your brood.} As far as she was aware this was the deepest borrowed brood on record, why they had sent her a young bloom to deal with it was still beyond her. 

 

The brood mother clicked her mandibles, intrigued, and not convinced {hostile broods bother us no longer, the water sources flow uninterrupted, your compiler brings food, the worms are few, my warriors are strong. We do not need a new home, we shall stay.} The broods further up the tunnels were being evacuated, the slik’tic worms had fled the area and the water only signaled the risk of further quakes. 

 

Their language was frustrating, not adapted to solve disputes in the slightest. The brood mother was the ultimate authority and controlled the rest with presence and pheromones, her will was law. Other broods were either ignored or fought for territory. It was quick, informative, reverberated through the tunnels at great distances, terribly developed for changing someone’s mind.  

 

There had to be something she could do. Hypnotizing the brood mother should have been an obvious choice, and this was a prime opportunity, it was the first time they had spoken when she had not been surrounded by attendants. The critical problem was first that Slkt’kree was huge and a powerful warrior. If her name held true she had singlehandedly killed one of the worms before becoming brood mother. Secondly, all she needed was to get out one shriek and the hive would come to defend her. Ageratu was confident she could take out three warriors, maybe even ten. But a hundred at once, Swarming her, not a chance. The risk was too high….

 

What to do? What to do? Her eyes caught onto something. As Slkt’kree moved one of her legs, the chitin shifted momentarily and revealed a wound, a large one. Her core caught fire {you are injured, let me see} Her vines gripped around the leg and carefully pushed the chitin aside. The wound was deep, a green infection lining its edges  {we need to go to the surface, they can heal your wound.} The medicine they had taken with them down here was not sufficient. 

 

{take your appendage off me, I am fine, you forget your place, I will not leave.} The brood mother moved backward, Ageratu held on. 

 

She needed help, why couldn’t she see that? {no, we need to leave an-} The mandible swung down with terrifying speed, only a glint in the light as it cut through her vine. Ageratu recoiled, a burst of pain staggering her momentarily. 

 

Slkt’kree’s mandibles were bare, her stingers poised and ready to strike, her front claws raised with the rest of her body leaned forward {insolent outsider! My brood arrived here eight mothers ago, from home in ruins, we found grottos of plenty. We dug these tunnels, carved our histories, hunted, gathered, fought, safeguarded. These are our boroughs, our home, we shall not abandon it. You mean well, know little. Understand this if you wish to stay, I live for the brood, the brood will survive, I will persevere all to ensure this.} Pride, anger, unending determination; it radiated off the brood mother like a sun

 

Ageratu heisted, conflicting wants tearing through her. Every instinct told her to subdue the brood mother, get her to safety, remove the burden and pain. Yet she could not, there were so many other sophonts at stake. Frustration was left as the dominant emotion. Why could this xeno not understand what was in her best interest? Why was she so obstinate about sacrificing for her brood when it was not necessary? Why did the universe stop her from helping?! 

 

She backed off, lifting the front part of her form as a showcase of weakness {your brood will survive, you will survive, I will ensure it.} While slowly turning around towards the tunnel her eyes caught a glimpse of one of the most recent carvings chiseled into the void-like rock. A lxtle’tric’til warrior with two stingers, her mandibles dug into the throat of a massive worm, destruction and corpses littering the cave around the two combatants.

 

Something stirred in her vines and a second later she was staring up at the grey metal ceiling, brown rust eating at the edges of the plates. Her form felt lethargic, desperately wanting to dig into the earth and replenish, not stand up and form into something coherent. The source of what had woken her revealed itself as Betula came through the door, a happy rhythm to her movements. Alyssum was also there, having readied their next unpleasant meal of rust in water. 

 

She reformed silently, letting her thoughts settle while the two others talked. Why were these dreams coming to her now? She had worked through this blooms ago…maybe the situation was too similar for it not to dredge up mistakes from the deepest part of her core. This would not end the same way, she would guarantee it. 

 

Ageratu stood up and faced the others, attempting to put on an optimistic front <good evening, had fun working with Natalia?> Listening to the youngbloom gush about her to-be floret was always successful in bringing up the mood. Ageratu placed her vine in the water and drank. She shuddered, it never ceased to surprise her how terrible this was…if only she had some tea. It would not be right to ask for more, it would be cruel to siphon off one of the brood mother's last comforts. 

 

Betula’s vines wiggled momentarily <yes, she is so precious! Working outside the ship with her as been an absolute treat, it allows her to by much more open. I still can’t believe she called me beautiful!> Some of her vines twisted uncomfortably, her enthusiasm doused <today however she seemed quite worried, apparently someone stole food from their storage and got caught.> Oh dirt. Terran justice was proficiently destructive, hopefully the brood mother had not been too harsh. 

 

Alyssum had the same concern <do you know what happened in response?> 

 

Some of Betula’s vines had clustered themselves around each other completely <that is the strange part. Natalia said that the ‘captain’ was the one who took the punishment, balancing the food lost by not eating himself for the next two days. I can’t ima….> The youngbloom’s voice become a distant hum as her core filled with anger. HE HAD WHAT?! 

 

Ageratu stood up, the bucket of rust water tipping over in the process <I am going to talk with the brood mother.> She was out of the room before the other two even had time to respond. The world had narrowed to a single point in front of her, a singular focus with all other considerations bleeding into irrelevance. What was he thinking?! Not eating for two days?!! Two terrans came out of a room to her left, saw her, and immediately backed off back into the room once more. 

 

Her form was likely not the most gracious version of itself at the moment, and that did not matter, rough and threatening could very well serve its purpose. The door to the brood mother’s den was closed as usual, her vines broke it open, almost tearing it off its large metal hinges. As suspected the ‘captain’ was sitting behind his desk, his eyes frozen to the door that had just slammed into the wall. 

 

He looked truly speechless, giving her the time to close the door behind her shut and storm forward “do you have any consideration for your own well-being? Any at all!?” That stupid hat might hide his eyes, but she knew he could feel her withering gaze upon him all the same.

 

He shrank in the chair “what are you talking about?....is this about the food ratio-“ Luis sounded baffled, like this self-destructive course of action was normal and expected. 

 

“This is about you starving yourself for no purpose, it is unacceptable.” Her vines had begun to spill over the desk, clutching over the edges in a sea of green and blue. The brood mother had not denied it, and she could sense it, that desperate pain that all the terrans carried was even stronger presence in the ‘captain’s’ biorhythm. It was after dinner time for the terrans, so two to three meals skipped? Unacceptable was a lenient word. 

 

“Unacceptable? This is my ship, I determine what punishment my crew receives. Please calm down before you crush my desk.” His ship? Had her reminders not displayed how misguided of a perception that was? 

 

“We made an agreement, do you not remember? No actions that threaten life or harms the well-being of anybody on board would be accepted. You have just broken that agreement.” Perhaps it was time for her to remove any ideas of control from his mind. Pry open those walls and let her words become his truth, make the brood mother docile and obedient, as he was supposed to be. 

 

The shift in Luis’s posture was instant “you can not be serious. The order of law had to be enforced,  sanctions put in place to prevent anyone else from doing the same. If I had not done that, we would be looking at chaos and starvation in days!” He had stopped shrinking in the chair, instead, he was standing tall and leaning forward.  

 

“That is no excuse!” A corner of the wooden desk cracked and broke as her vines contorted in frustration.     

 

The brood mother did not even flinch “what would you have me do then? Throw them in the brig? Deprive them of food?” A vicious taunting smile spread on his face “or should we follow standard punishment for stealing food during emergencies? What’s more to your liking, 10 lashes with an iron wire or the firing line?” For a moment Ageratu was taken aback, not only by the cruelty of the apparently standard terran punishments but also by the brood mother's brazen display of bravery. 

 

The vines softened “of course not, but why put yourself through suffering? You haven’t done anything wrong…”  None of these xenos had done anything wrong, they were all just hungry and scared, it was not right for anyone to suffer like this. 

 

“I am their commanding officer, the responsibility of all misconduct is mine. Punishing the offender would only create division and resentment. Fear is the oft-used tool by people in my position, I have seen it in action, it is as barbaric as it is useless. Empathy and guilt are far more effective than fear can ever be. That is how I run this ship, with loyalty and care for e-“ A high-pitched bleep interrupted the conversation. 

 

The door swung open and the terran doctor strode through, her face red with anger “what the hell are you thinking?!” As the storm of anger had begun to ebb, a new gust entered the room with horrible fury.  

 

The brood mother stared at the doctor in disbelief “did you just use the emergency override to open my door? Those are for medical emergencies only!” 

 

Ageratu was not sure if the terran doctor had noticed her at all, Selma certainly paid no heed to her as she stormed up to the desk “your self-destructive stupidity is a medical emergency! You are malnourished and weak enough as it is. I swear on my medical license if you don’t go and eat right this second I will make sure you never set foot in space again!” At least one of the terrans had any sense, Ageratu liked this one. 

 

“You are way out of line! Two days of fasting is not life-threatening and I have survived far worse. In the absurd case that I agreed with you, it would be too late, the verdict has been handed down. Backtracking now would undermine every scrap of trust left on this ship, I won’t let that happen.”  

 

Selma was fuming, her fist slamming into the table “Then lie stars damn it! I am sure Verek can keep a secret.” A clever workaround, and as long as they stayed silent about it there was no need to lie directly.

 

The brood mother raised a threatening finger “and what happens when we run out? People will know that food was stolen, riots and mutiny: that is what you are suggesting. Like it or not, I am the captain here, the crew’s welfare and safety are my responsibilities, not yours. I have the duty and authority to ensure that this nightmare ends without further casualties.” There it was again, that senseless self-destructive attuite and illusion of duty. She could not rip this out of him at the moment, however as soon as the other terran left…. 

 

The only sophont in the room with any true duty was herself “you misunderstand ‘captain’, t-“ 

 

He looked up and made eye contact, his eyes filled with pride, anger, and unending determination “NO! you are the one that understands nothing! This is MY crew, MY ship, and I will sacrifice anything for them. You affini have no perspective. Have you ever needed to sacrifice to help those you care about? Have you ever suffered as we have?! Maybe affini society truly is paradise, for only someone from there would not understand why I have to do this.” The doctor opened her mouth to say something

 

And was immediately cut off by the brood mother “as your commanding officer I am ordering you to drop this issue, one more word and the brig will get an occupant tonight. And for you..” Luis grabbed a neatly wrapped package on the desk and with one rough motion threw it into her arms “take the tea you like so much and get the hell out of my office!” A finger trembling with rage was pointed towards the exit. 

 

Selma exhaled through her nose “let’s go, he is not going to listen.” Tea? He had….no, no, no. This was all wrong, she was the one who was supposed to…Why did they react this way? She was only trying to help, make them understand…

 

A painful realization bloomed from the brood mothers’ words: she had threatened their brood. They were so accustomed to sacrificing for their brood that not being allowed to — any loss of authority and control — was an implicit attack on those they were ever so protective of.  Her approach had been all wrong. She was still no less right, and the situation would be rectified soon enough.  

 

Looking up from the gift in her hand Ageratu found the eyes of the brood mother, unwavering “you are making a mistake little one. Please reconsider and let me help.” There was a slim chance to still salvage the situation. 

 

Sadly, as expected, the brood mother was still too defensive “no, now leave. Unless you want to break the ceasefire and doom us all, that is also an option.” The other terran was still waiting by the exit, observing them with equal measures of frustration and curiosity. 

 

There was no opportunity to commit to something more holistic, the collective risk was too great.  She could however do something more precise. Ageratu kept her eyes locked with the brood mother and collected herself “while the ceasefire shall remain, I will remember this.” She pressed the full focused strength of her biorhythm into the next words. “All I ask for is that the next time you need help, you will come to me.” There was remarkably little resistance, the brood mother’s eyes became unfocused, his jaw slack. She could feel how her words drilled into his mind, a bloom of euphoria welling up in her from the regained control. The temptation to continue was strong, to delve deeper and fully mold this fragile little mind. Ageratu cursed the universe for once again conspiring to keep her vines away from this adorable creature and let go of her hold.  

 

Then it was over, his focus returned “I….will consider it.” Neither of them had noticed, good. While far from optimal, this was a start. She left the office with the doctor, storing the precious gift within herself. 

 

Selma looked up at her, deep concern in her eyes “sorry about him, he can be very….stubborn sometimes. There is no way I am dropping this though, if Luis thinks he’s getting away with this he got another thing coming. I need to talk to some people, see you later.” With another grumble of frustration, the doctor left her side.  

 

The tips of her vines were still tingling, her core in turmoil from all the different emotions that had surged through it over such a short period of time. That brief moment of absolute control over the brood mother had proven something she had tried to deny. She wanted him, utterly and completely, as her floret and possession, to be her treasure and pampered pet. 

 

She had always considered herself better at collective care, and she would not be giving up her job at the café. But this xeno needed her, and she needed to have him. She had been certain that the ‘captain’ needed to be domesticated since their first encounter. 

 

Now she was certain that he would be hers, no matter how the universe conspired or fought against it, that fate would come to pass. Imagining her vines safely and tightly wrapped around the brood mother had already put her more at ease. First, she needed to make sure everyone survive and that this unfortunate situation ended as soon as possible. For that she needed to respect the brood mother’s ‘independence’ for a bit longer, but only for a bit.