I don’t deserve my girlfriend.
I know a lot of people say that, but for me it’s true. I’m an awful human being, and she’s one of the most kind and wonderful people on the planet. She deserves all the happiness and joy that this world has to offer. But unfortunately, she decided to date me. She helped me through some of the most difficult parts of my life, pulled me out from the pits of despair, and never asked for anything in return.
Tonight she’s going to learn that I really wasn’t worth it.
“Whatcha thinking about, babe?” Stella has a kind smile in her eyes. One that always lights up the room, that inspires others and fills them with hope and joy. Her laughter is the most beautiful sound on the planet. It’s the little things that I fell in love with. From her bizarre and unfathomable taste in music to her quirky morning habits when she gets dressed, I’ve come to love every part of her.
“Just thinking about how much I love you,” I responded in a playful tone. It’s not strictly a lie. I was thinking about why she’s so wonderful, and all the reasons I love her. I was just also thinking about what a selfish and awful person I am, and why she would be better off without me. I drag the people around me down into a pit, and leave them broken for having cared. But if I told her that she wouldn’t believe me. So instead I just returned her smile. “I hope you know how much I appreciate you. My life wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t in it.”
Stella let out a deep sigh and rolled her eyes. “Oh please, we’ve been over this. All I did was give you the gentle push you needed. You were the one that did all the hard work.” Not true. Stella practically carried me through my transition, literally turning me into the woman I am today. “I know you’re always hard on yourself, and I don’t blame you, but I hope that one day you see yourself for the strong and caring person that I see you as.” Again, not true. I know what I’m really like, she’s the one who’s been fooled. “And most importantly don’t forget - you saved me as much as I saved you.”
That was one point I couldn’t really refute. When I met Stella, she had just escaped from an extremely toxic and abusive relationship. Avery, her previous girlfriend, was a hypnotist. And not the fun kind of stage magician. She had been controlling and uncaring, and treated Stella more like a possession than an equal partner. It was part of the reason she was so impressive, because despite everything, she was still able to smile.
“You found me when I had nothing. You gave me the strength to start anew, and you showed me what a good relationship could actually look like. You inspired me to be able to love again.” Once again, my heart melted at the warmth of her smile. Despite all the heavy emotional moments we’d been through, it was always the little moments that reminded me of how much I loved her.
It was only a matter of time before her love for me faded. I had to treasure these moments with her, because by the end of the night, she would learn the type of person I truly was.
I took her hand in mine. “Thanks for that. I hope you know that no matter what happens, you were always the best thing that ever happened to me.” I pulled her in for a tight hug, which she happily returned. After a moment, our embrace was interrupted by her growling stomach. “Oh geez, I was so busy being melancholy I forgot about dinner. You want me to make some mashed potatoes?”
She pulled away and shook her head. “Nah, let’s just heat up some leftovers. There’ll be plenty of other chances to cook meals from scratch later.” She had said it so casually, but it felt like a dagger through my chest. This might be the last meal we ever have together as partners. And instead of preparing something fancy and romantic, we were having reheated leftovers. Yet another reason I was an awful girlfriend who didn’t deserve her.
The leftovers don’t take long to prepare. We have a pretty cheap microwave, so it takes a couple rounds to heat everything properly. Stella is still acting upbeat and cheerful, like this is any other day. I try to respond in kind as she recounts some funny story from her work. I’m going to miss moments like this. Tender moments, with just the two of us, enjoying peaceful company. Maybe it’s best that I didn’t plan for an especially fancy evening. Because natural moments like this are the ones that get truly cherished over time. And no matter what happens, I want to leave her with some good memories. Even if she realises the memories were flawed, as the person she was sharing them with is a disgusting monster and subhuman trash.
There’s a knock at the door. My heart is pounding, and there’s a lump in my throat. I can barely get the words out as my mouth is completely dry. “Do you want me to get that?” I try to sound normal, but I have no way of knowing if she can tell just how extreme my nerves are.
“No it’s fine, I’ll get it. It’s probably someone trying to sell us something anyway.” She gets up from her chair, and I can’t bring myself to look up. I continue staring at my half finished plate as she heads to the door. I hear her turning the lock and opening it, followed by a moment of ominous silence. Then, an unfamiliar voice calls out.
“Heya Slutface, long time no see. Nice place you’ve got here.”
It takes a moment for Stella to respond. I can’t see her, but I don’t need to to understand her terror. “No. You can’t… you can’t be here. Not anymore. I-I left you.”
“Yeah that was a real dick move on your part, wasn’t it?” I hear footsteps, entering the apartment. “I gotta admit, for someone as dumb as you are you did a good job covering your tracks.”
I could hear the tremble in Stella’s voice as she tried to remain strong. “I’m not- I’m not dumb. And I’m not useless, no matter what you say. I am my own person, and I won’t let you-”
“Slutface, quiet and still.” Stella’s protests were cut off the moment the words left Avery’s mouth. “Good to know your triggers are still in place. I might need to update a few of them, and I’ll definitely make things more strict. Don’t want you trying to escape again.”
For the first time, I finally mustered the strength to look up. Avery didn’t have a particularly imposing stature. If anything she was a little on the scrawny side. But her attire made it perfectly clear that she wasn’t the type of person to be messed with. Between the vulgar tattoos, the combat boots, and the vast array of piercings, Avery was almost the embodiment of punk. She carried herself with a domineering attitude that even made me want to submit to her. Stella, however, was faring much worse. She was quaking in place, unable to move or make a sound.
I had never seen hypnosis in action before. And admittedly, I had been a little sceptical about the stories she’d told me. Now those doubts were gone.
Avery made her way over to me. She put her hands on the table, looking down at me with a sneer of disgust. “So you’re the one my little plaything left me for. I’ve gotta be honest, I’m disappointed. Clearly she didn’t take you for your looks, and I was hoping I could get another hot piece of ass to claim. Oh well, I can work with what I’m given.”
I shivered at her words. It was hard not to, with her directly in my face. There was no denying that Avery was an attractive woman. I had a weak spot for alt girls, and she was the complete package, with the side shave and torn clothes and everything. It was a harsh contrast from the nice and proper femme look that Stella usually kept. Their personalities couldn’t have been more different either. While Stella was a kind soul who alway saw the best in people, it was clear from even a surface glance that Avery had no such compassion. She was the type of person who took what she wanted and didn’t care who got hurt in the process.
Stella didn’t notice my reaction. She was struggling in place, doing her best to break free from her conditioning to say something. I almost thought she was going to pop a blood vessel. Avery noticed the same, and she turned her gaze away from me again. “Oh fine, you can speak. But be careful with your words - we both know this can get so much worse for you.”
“Don’t you dare talk to her that way!” Stella was full of anger, an emotion I rarely saw in her. “You don’t know anything about her. My girlfriend is kind, compassionate, and stronger than even she knows herself. But I see how amazing she is. And there’s nothing you could do to snuff that out.”
Avery pretended to consider this for a moment. “That’s an interesting point you make. On the other hand, Slutface - give me a fake ‘O.’”
A moan of exaggerated pleasure erupted from Stella. The type of sound that would never be heard in an actual bedroom, only the cheesiest of porno’s. Her eyes rolled back, tongue hanging out, as she made a pair of peace signs with her hands. Her entire body started convulsing as her thighs spread out as wide as they could go.
“Yeah, that’s a better look for you.” Avery had a confident grin as she surveyed the scene. “And it’s adorable that you think you know her. She’s really got you fooled. The truth is, I know her much better than you do. Honestly, you probably would’ve been better off just staying with me in the first place.” I wanted to protest, but I also knew Avery was right. As awful as she was, I was worse. Stella just didn’t realise it yet.
“So here’s what’s going to happen, Slutface.” She grabbed Stella’s tit and gave it a rough squeeze. “You two are going to come back with me, and you’re going to be my personal bitch. You get to be my fucksleeve that I can use to get off whenever I want. And not just me, but my friends and colleagues. Hell pretty much anyone who asks. Don’t worry though, after a bit more training and some new hypnotic conditioning you’ll learn to love it. You won’t even want to run away this time.”
Stella didn’t look like she was responding. The orgasmic expression was still plastered on her face. Avery gestured her thumb towards me. “This one’s coming as well, but I’m not gonna fuck her. She’s not worth it. She’s going to be treated like the piece of garbage she is, and nobody’s ever going to love or care for her again. Not even you.” She took a moment to cackle at the thought of it. “Slutface, back to normal. You can thank me for taking you back later.”
Finally I looked into Stella’s eyes. I saw all the pain and the hurt she was going through. She knew there was no way she could escape Avery, and that I wouldn’t be able to overpower her. All three of us knew that there was nothing to stop her from getting her way.
But Stella’s spirit was not so easily broken. She was tougher than that, and it would take a hell of a lot more to fully break her. “That’s where you’re wrong, Avery. The one thing you can’t ever take away is my love for her. Even if you forcibly hypnotise me into believing otherwise, we’ll both know that deep down I really do care for her. And there’s nothing you can do to change that.”
I didn’t deserve her. I didn’t deserve those kind words, the unrelenting compassion. She should’ve just hated me from the start.
Avery leaned in close to Stella. Her voice was soft but firm, just enough for me to still hear it. And her words were some of the most beautiful things I’d ever heard in my life.
“Slutface. How do you think I found you in the first place?”
Stella was caught off guard, her expression one of confusion as she tried to figure out what Avery had meant. “What do you mean? You tracked me down somehow. You always were an obsessive creep like that.”
Avery just laughed. “Not this time. It’s like I said, you did a good job covering your tracks. I had finally written you off as a loss, as the one who got away. Imagine my surprise when I got a message from your new girlfriend.”
This was it. Stella wanted me to deny everything, to tell her it was a lie, that it was all a part of her twisted game. She stared into my eyes, hoping that I would return the fire and protective nature that she held for me. Only there was nothing. And as she stared at me, she hit that sweet sweet moment of realisation.
That I wasn’t a good person.
“You… why would you do this? You can’t be serious. Did she lie to you? Was something wrong?” Stella was fishing for an answer, any sort of an answer.
I just shook my head. “You heard what she’s going to do to us. To make you her bitch, and to make me her slave. Both of us together under the foot of a cruel and relentless monster.” My face was starting to get flushed, simply from describing it. And I knew that my lust was seeping into my voice. “That’s why I told her where you live and how to find you. That’s why I told her all about us, all about me. And that’s why I invited her here tonight.”
Tears were starting to form in Stella’s eyes. The cracks were fading, and she was starting to see me for the despicable and worthless person that I was. “But I don’t… I don’t understand. We could’ve been happy together. I loved you, and I’ve been nothing but kind. I treated you with nothing but the utmost respect, no matter how hard things were.”
I let out a deep sigh. “But Stella, don’t you understand? That was never what I wanted from you.”
And then it happens. The full moment of realisation. When there are no more excuses, when she sees me for the disgusting human garbage that I am. The light in her eyes fades away, replaced with a cold look of revulsion.
It’s the best thing in the world. This is what I live for, that moment when they’re filled with nothing but loathing and abhorrence. When any love for me is forever replaced with hatred, as they see how despicable of a person I am.
It’s an indescribable high, like ecstasy being shot directly through my veins.
“So that’s how it is.” When she finally spoke up again, Stella’s voice was different. Her face is contorted with rage and disgust. “You really wanted this all along, didn’t you.” She turned back towards Avery. “You promised that you would treat her like subhuman garbage, right? To ensure every moment was a living hell for her? You’d fucking better keep your word on that.”
Avery grinned, basking in her shift in tone. “Told you I knew her better than you did. And don’t get me wrong, none of what I said was a bluff or exaggeration. Knowing what a whore she is it won’t be difficult to get her under for hypnosis.”
Stella nodded. “Good. At least I know better than anyone how cruel and heartless you are. Although I never imagined I’d wind up with someone even worse.”
Her words cause a stirring in me, and I feel my erection straining against my panties.
“Are you planning to do the hypnosis here or when we get back to your place?”
Avery let out a slow whistle. “Damn girl, you’re really that eager? Then why the fuck did you leave in the first place?”
“I mean it’s not like I have much of a choice in this.” Stella was harsh and bitter with her response. “I would rather leave and never have to see either of you two again. But if I can’t do that, then I may as well at least try to embrace it.” She stared directly at me. “After all, how bad can it be if I get a front row seat to watch her life fall to pieces around her?”
“I knew you had it in you!” Avery gave her a firm clap on the back. “But still, you’ll understand if I’m taking precautions. Slutface, stay here and watch.” Stella froze in place again, and Avery returned to my side. “Now, listen up. I’m going to hypnotise you, and you’re not going to put up any resistance. Because this is what you want. Right?”
I eagerly nodded my head in agreement. “Yes Mistress. More than anything else.”
The slap came out of nowhere. Avery didn’t hold back as she smacked her palm against my cheek with full force. “What the fuck was that? You think I’m going to be your Mistress? You little worm, you know that you’re not worth even that.”
It was such a rush to be treated with absolute derision. “Yes, I’m sorry. Of course Mi… Of course.” I didn’t even know how she wanted me to address her. Maybe she didn’t want me to address her at all. Just the thought of it was enough to have a few drops of precum dripping out. I had never been this aroused in my life.
“Good. Now listen to me, I’m going to count down, and with every number you’re going to feel yourself sinking. Falling deeper as you listen to my voice. You’re going to be mindless, and my voice is going to replace the thoughts in your head.” I nodded, eager to get into the trance. “Ten, listen to me. I’m the one who tells you what to think now. Nine, you’re falling deeper, falling into the trance. Eight…”
It was a few months ago that Avery came to visit.
At least, I’m assuming it’s been months. Telling how much time has passed is nearly impossible. Not only because of the monotony and repetitive days, but because of what she took away from me. Avery made me illiterate, completely unable to read and write. And then she also took away my ability to count. It’s left me feeling helpless and incompetent, since extremely basic tasks have become a serious challenge.
It’s left me entirely dependent on her. Even if I got away, there would be no returning to a normal life. No chance of working a regular job again. So she has me cleaning the house, a permanent live-in caretaker. Without pay either. It’s slavery in all but name. I have a tiny closet full of dirty rags to sleep in, and that’s the closest I ever get to a gift. Sometimes when Avery has a bad day, she’ll take her stress out on me. I’ve been whipped, spanked, slapped, had hot wax poured on me, and been directly stepped on. Sometimes she does the same to Slutface. But with her, the violence always turns into a passionate makeout and steamy sex. With me it’s just about inflicting pain.
Slutface is living with us as well, but her role is completely different from mine. She spends most of her time with Avery. I can hear them in their room, the cries of pleasure as their hardcore fucking sessions last all night long and even into the early hours of the morning. From what she’s told me, Slutface has become quite the size queen. She’s been training with those massive dildo’s, the ones that need to be specially ordered that are roughly the size of a forearm. Meanwhile, my tiny cock has been locked away. I’ve been stuck in chastity ever since I first arrived, and from the sound of things, Avery has no intention of giving me release. Ever.
About a month ago, Slutface got her first tattoo. Property of Avery, right on her buttcheek. Her hair’s been completely shaved off, and she’s got her nipples and her tongue pierced. I know there are more tattoos planned, but I don’t know what they are or where they’re going. Neither Avery nor Slutface talks to me in regular conversation anymore. Avery just gives me orders for what to clean, and Slutface won’t even let me see her. That’s not an exaggeration, she convinced her Mistress to plant a hypnotic trigger that prevents me from looking in her direction. So even if I know she’s there, I have to keep my head turned away. I don’t know when the last time I actually saw her was, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again.
But I can hear their activities. Avery made good on her promise to lend Slutface out to friends. She often brings home a partner or a couple friends, and I can hear their loud sloppy noises everywhere in the house. Obviously I’m never allowed to participate. I don’t even get to be eye candy, since that’s Slutface’s job. The closest I get to joining in is for cleanup duty. After everyone’s had their fun, get in there with my tongue and lick everything that’s stained. From furniture to clothes to whatever orifices were used. Only Avery doesn’t want me getting the satisfaction of licking down her privates or anyone else's.
So my cleanup job is done in a trance. The closest I get to human interaction anymore is when my mind is turned off, unable to think, and with no memory of it actually happening. When I’m called I open the door. Then it’s like I blink, and I’m standing outside the door again, the taste of dried cum in my mouth and my tongue sore from all the work. I know I’ve been through a wonderfully erotic experience, but I never get to actually experience it. I have to be content with the knowledge that I got to perform oral on the others, including Slutface, even if I don’t remember any of it.
It’s perfect. It’s everything I always wanted.
But the best part is when the guests ask about me. They wonder who the downtrodden and frumpy looking maid is, scurrying about in the corner while Slutface puts on a show for everyone. They see the bruises and wonder if Avery’s too harsh in her treatment. And that’s when she tells them. She tells them that it was all my idea, and that I begged to be in the pathetic position I’m in right now. She tells them how much I get off on being treated like this, reviled and despised by everyone.
And then they have their moment of realisation. When they see how disgusting and pitiful I am, that I would happily sell out the only person who ever loved me because I wanted to see her as a sex slave. They know that I deserve to be treated with nothing but contempt, and I see it in their eyes. It changes the way they look at me.
It’s the best feeling in the world.