“MMMNF, Gods you taste good. I knew someone as cute as you would be a good kisser.”

“You’re not, hnnng, not too bad yourself.” April was doing her best to keep a balance between conversation and their heavy makeout session. She gave Ophelia one last extra wet kiss on the mouth before pulling back, slightly panting. “Are you always this intense on first dates?”

Ophelia giggled. “Only for the girls who really deserve it. And this isn’t even too intense yet, we haven’t started- AH, FUCK!” Her flirtations were interrupted as she bumped her head on the roof of the car. 

April tried to lean over to assess the injury, but it was difficult to move across the seat and find a good angle. “Oh, shit. Are you okay?” Part of her was cursing at how quickly the mood was ruined, but she also knew that couldn’t be her priority at the moment.

Thankfully, Ophelia didn’t seem to be hurt too bad. She was rubbing the back of her head, trying to sit back upright in the passenger seat. “I’m fine, thanks. Might need a minute though.” The pair took a quick minute to cool off. “You know, it’s funny. I never even did the awkward ‘cramped makeout with heavy petting in a car’ back when I was a teenager. At least now I know I wasn’t missing out on much.”

April nodded in agreement. “Yeah, sorry about that. I guess we could’ve done that in the theatre instead.”

“What, are you kidding me? I’ve been waiting years for a reboot of ‘The Y cases.’ No way was I missing even a moment of the new Agent Phibially. She was my first lesbian crush.” Ophelia frowned, her enthusiasm quickly wearing off. “Still though, I’m afraid we might have to call it quits here. The energies in this place are telling me it’s detrimental to my health if we try to escalate or even continue here.”

That caught April off guard. “Wait, energies? You mean like chakras and stuff? I didn’t think you were the type of person who would read into that.”

“The universe is a strange place, and I have a premonition of bad omens if we try this here. Specifically, a premonition of me straining my back from being hunched over at a weird angle.” 

As much as she hated it, April knew that she wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t like they were teenagers sneaking around and hiding from their parents. And she really didn’t want to let things end now, as they were just starting to heat up. “Are you sure we can’t go back to your place? It’s like I said, I live with three other girls and they’re all a massive pain.”

Ophelia shook her head. “No, it’s like I said as well. My place is under heavy renovations and really isn’t suitable for guests right now. So it’s either we ask your roomies to put on a loud movie of their own or we call it a night.”

This was a tough decision for April. On the one hand, she didn’t think it was fair to bring Ophelia around already, especially when they were still kinda getting to know each other. But on the other hand, she was getting really horny.

“Alright, fine,” she said with a dejected sigh. “I’ll try to make sure they’re on their best behaviour.”

Ophelia’s face lit up with joy with her concession. “Awesome! And don’t worry, I’ll do my best to make a good impression.”

A horrible feeling welled up in April’s gut, and for a second she wondered if Ophelia had a point with the whole ‘chakra’ thing. “Yeah, I’m sure you will, but trust me when I say that it’s not you I’m worried about.”

The car ride back was mostly uneventful. Ophelia seemed excited, if nothing else, and April considered that a pretty big win. She was trying not to let her nerves get the best of her, or her own arousal. The last thing she wanted was to psyche herself out of hooking up with the girl she’d finally landed.

Once she pulled into the driveway, before getting out, she decided it was time to have a quick chat and lay out some ground rules first. “Okay. Before we go in, let me go first. I’ve just gotta let them all know you’re coming. Alright?” Ophelia nodded, and she continued. “It’s just that they’re all a bit of a handful, and I really didn’t want to bring you around here just yet.”

Ophelia nodded. “Yeah, I get that about not wanting to move too fast. It’s just an unfortunate coincidence that my place is unavailable right now.”

It’d better be a coincidence April thought to herself in an annoyed tone. 

“You do sound awfully worried about them,” Ophelia commented. “Are you sure you’re okay with them? They haven’t been transphobic to you or anything have they?”

“No! No, it’s nothing like that.” April was quick to defend them. “Sorry, it’s nothing serious. I’m not trying to freak you out or anything. My housemates are pretty weird, but they’re good people.” She paused for a moment and thought about her words. “Well, that’s not true, but they mean well. Actually scratch that too. But deep down…” Her voice trailed off, unable to find a good way to defend them. “Come on, I’m sure you’ll get along fine.”

Once they were at the doorstep, April motioned for her date to wait there. “I’ll just be a moment, alright?” She gave Ophelia a quick peck on the cheek before heading in. “Hey all, I’m back and I brought my date with me.” There was no response, but she knew that didn’t mean anything. “Understand? I’ve brought back another person, so I’m fully expecting everyone to be normal and okay about it.” The last thing she wanted was for Ophelia to start freaking out because of a literal alien walking through the house.

She had to assume it was all clear. “Okay, come on in.” The pair made their way inside, and while they were taking their coats and shoes off, the sounds of a movie started playing in the background. Thankfully the inside of the house was fairly normal. Sometimes it would be a bizarre mansion of seemingly infinite space and hallways that weren’t physically possible, but that wasn’t the case today.

And the insides of the house wasn’t the only thing that passed as normal. As they approached the living room, there were sounds of a movie playing, along with a light buzz of chatter. April breathed out a sigh of relief as she saw her housemates were all in their human forms. “Hey all. Ophelia, these are my housemates Melonie, Kassandra, and Iris. Everyone, this is Ophelia, my girlfriend I told you about.”

Ophelia gave a nervous wave as she looked at the group. Although they passed for humans, they still looked like a group of weirdos. Melonie was in a loose-fitting set of pyjamas, with bright hair that had the black roots just starting to grow back in. Kassandra, on the other hand, had her head shaved right down to a buzz cut. Which made sense to April considering her normal form’s lack of hair. She had a tank top with a punk design and some lounge pants, so while she still looked odd, it wasn’t anything too far out of the ordinary. Iris, on the other hand, was simply incapable of looking normal. Her lilac hair and pale white skin were striking enough, with a simple sundress to match. But it was more her mannerisms, sitting upright and staring intensely forward.

However, Ophelia didn’t leave much opportunity for awkward silences. “Hey all, it’s nice to meet you! April’s told me so much about you.”

Melonie cocked her eyebrow. “Has she now? All bad things I hope.” She finished her sentence with a sly grin. 

“Yes, I’ve told her all about how annoying you are.” April wanted to make sure they were all on the same page. “I swear, you couldn’t find three human beings more capable of causing chaos and mayhem than these girls.” She forced a laugh as she finished talking.

“Aww, you know you love us!” Kassandra had a cheesy grin as she spoke. “Come on, grab a seat if you like. You walked in right as we were getting to the end of the movie.” 

April knew for a fact that they had not been watching a movie. In fact, she was certain that the living room had been dead silent when she called in first. But in this case, she was glad for their deception and trickery.

“I have to say, this is a pretty nice place.” Ophelia slumped down into an armchair as she spoke, her legs hanging over the side. It has a good energy about it.”

Iris nodded. “It is the cosmic centerpoint of both the known and unknown universe. There is no location across the vast infinities of space and time with the same ultimate harmonic balance.” She turned her head to stare at Ophelia with her unblinking eyes. “You have good taste. Few mortal’s are able to comprehend the cosmic energies.”

Kassandra lightly kicked her in the shins. “Hey! This house isn’t that great. I bet I had a better cosmic energy or whatever back on my home plan… t house. The house that had plants in it.”

Thankfully, Ophelia didn’t appear to be overly phased by the strange nature of the conversation. “You mean a greenhouse? I’ve always wanted one. I know they’re a lot of work, but I think it’s worth it for all the different kinds of ferns you can cultivate. Did you tend to it, or was it someone else’s job?”

There was a blank look from Kassandra. “Um, yes? Yes, the greenhouse is what I meant. Sorry, can you repeat that last question?”

Melonie interrupted before things got further out of control. “Sorry, you’ll have to excuse them - they’re idiots.” She brought her feet up to sit cross-legged on the sofa, leaning in towards Ophelia. “Anyways, what are some of your hobbies? April hasn’t told us a thing about you!”

“I’m pretty busy with my studies, but I do enjoy stargazing. In fact, the other day…” To April’s surprise, the conversation lulled into a general vibe. She had been expecting some sort of a calamitous catastrophe if her three housemates met with Ophelia, but she was handling things pretty well. April joined in herself, lamenting the difficulties of being an engineering major alongside her girlfriend. Kassandra was especially invested in talking about space, but she did a good job keeping herself in check. Somehow, by some miracle, the five of them ended up in a point of relative normalcy.

Ophelia paused in the middle of the conversation to rub her stomach. “God, I could really go for something to snack on right now.” 

“We’ve got some popcorn if you’d like,” came the swift reply from Melonie. Only before she could offer anything else, a bowl of popcorn appeared on the table.

“Yes. There is popcorn here. You’re welcome to have some if you’d like.” April blinked at Iris’s words. She stared at the popcorn, wondering why she hadn’t been eating it. She concentrated as best as she could, and she could clearly remember that the popcorn had been sitting at the ready since their arrival. However, she also knew that in this house her memories were somewhat malleable. 

On the other hand, Ophelia had no such knowledge. She looked a little dazed, as if trying to reconcile two opposing facts, then shook her head. “Sorry, I guess I just spaced out for a second. Don’t know why I was asking for food. Thanks though!” She grabbed a handful of popcorn and started munching.

“You were probably thinking it could use some more butter.” Kassandra’s voice was a bit lower than usual, as she spoke in a much more deliberate tone. “April, could you be a dear and go to the kitchen to get us some more?”

April froze in place. Everything had been going so well. But now all three of her housemates were looking at her, exchanging glances they probably thought were subtle. “Yeah April, it’d be so great if you could grab it. It won’t take long at all.” Melonie looked like she was trying to suppress a smile as she spoke.

It all made April feel extremely nervous. But surely she was getting worried over nothing. Her housemates had been doing excellent so far, and they wouldn’t do something overly brazen with Ophelia right away. Would they?

Still, April had to trust them. Her date wasn’t picking up on the increased tension in the room. “Fine. But I’ll be right back. And I expect you all to be on your best behaviour until then.” Ophelia laughed as if it was a joke, not picking up on just how serious her voice was.

As she went to the kitchen, April continuously looked over her shoulder. Everything seemed perfectly fine and normal. Ophelia was chatting away, and the others were keeping their distance. April took another few steps back, and she was in the kitchen, looking out through the doorway to where her guest was.

One upside about living with all powerful entities was that April didn’t have to worry about little things like “preparing melted butter.” She knew it would be in the fridge. She had learned not to question how the fridge had exactly what she was looking for or why it was warm. The problem was that in order to get it, she would have to look away. Just for a brief moment. Open the door, grab the butter, and then rush back to the conversation.

April gave one last look at everyone casually talking to each other. There was nothing suspicious, nothing that set off any alarm bells. Maybe she was overthinking things, and it would all be okay in the end.

Without letting herself hesitate further, April opened the fridge door. She saw a cup of hot melted butter, which she quickly grabbed before closing the fridge. The whole thing couldn’t have taken more than three seconds.

When she looked back, Ophelia was kneeling on the floor in a fancy set of lingerie. She had a pair of big mitts that were designed to look like kitten paws, along with a very real looking pair of cat ears and a tail. She had a bright red ballgag in her mouth and a blindfold on, and her limbs were tied up with a neat rope in a way that forced her to crawl on her elbows and knees. The rest of April’s housemates were standing around her, but they weren’t disguised anymore. They were all in their true monstrous forms, completely out in the open.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO HER?” April bellowed with rage as she marched back to the group. “I was gone for what, half a minute? You couldn’t even hold on that long?” Her mind raced with all sorts of horrible possibilities.

Except before she could get overly worked up, Ophelia herself perked up and turned around to face her. She tapped her cheek with one of her paws, and the blindfold and gag melted away into nothing. “Oh, hey April! Your friends were just telling me a bit more about themselves, and where all they came from. I can see why you were a bit apprehensive.”

Her casual attitude caught April off guard. “Oh. You’re- you’re not in trouble or anything?” The entirety of the situation finally started to sink in for her. “Wait, how come you’re not freaking out about…” She gestured wildly to the other three girls in the house. “All this? Confirmation that magic and aliens both exist? And also whatever the fuck Iris is?” She looked to her void companion with an apologetic expression. “No offence.”

“None taken. My origins are a mystery shrouded before even the infinite knowledge of the universe.”

Ophelia shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. Should I be freaking out? Sure it was weird, but Kassandra explained it well. And I asked for a demonstration of what kinda stuff they can do, and one thing led to another…” A light blush filled her cheeks.

Melonie stepped in as well. “I can see why you like this girl! Our little kitten here has some lovely interests, and we were more than happy to indulge in her desires.”

“Of course you were.” April rolled her eyes. “And this entire conversation and course of events happened in the extremely brief period of time I was gone?”

“...Yes.”

Although she didn’t believe Iris for a second, April’s mind was on other things. Namely the fact that her date was in front of her dressed as a sexy bondage kitten. “Still. Ophelia, um, I didn’t know you were into this sort of thing.” She wasn’t sure how to address the fetishistic nature of the activity her date had seemingly thrust herself into.

“Oh! I don’t usually talk about this on first dates, just to avoid freaking people out, but I’m super into the BDSM scene. Switch leaning heavily sub, if those terms make sense to you.”

April nodded. “Yeah. Um, purely submissive, I guess.”

Kassandra let out a hearty laugh. “And don’t we all know it! I’m willing to bet your date here knew that from the first time you tried and failed to talk to her.”

“Hey, let’s not generalise here!” Ophelia was quick with her rebuttal. “A lot of the stereotypes about subs and doms are simplistic and regressive, and they can push inexperienced members of the community into roles that they wouldn’t otherwise feel comfortable with.” She looked back at April with a kinder expression. “But yeah, I’m not surprised to hear that about you.

April groaned. “Great. So you’re all just happy to just fuck eachother and laugh at me in the process.”

Melonie nodded. “Now you’re getting it!” But she was hushed by Ophelia a moment after. 

“Actually, about that - I was just thinking we could retreat for the evening. You know, for the reason I came over here in the first place.”

There was a solid ten seconds of silence as April’s mind tried to connect the dots, to remember why they had come back to her house in the first place. “Oh, Right! The, uh, the bedroom.” Things had gotten a little awkward, but the whole intention had been to get intimate with each other. “You… want to go somewhere more private?”

Ophelia smiled. “Why yes, I would like that very much.” She made some general motions with the ropes tied around her limbs. “Sorry to the rest of you, but we’ll have to continue this another time.”

“That’s alright, we’ll get April to join you as well.” Kassandra wasted no time in following up.

At first, Ophelia laughed at the statement. Then she noticed nobody else was, and April was starting to breathe rather heavily. “Oh.”