Chapter 1

Introductions

April let out a deep breath as she pulled into the driveway. Midterms were always stressful, and this semester was no exception. In fact, this semester was shaping up to be the worst one yet. It was bad enough that her coworker kept dragging her into petty workplace drama, or that she had an insanely hardass professor in what was already an extremely difficult course. But what worried her the most was the fact that this was the first exam season with her new housemates. 

April liked all of her housemates. She really did. But they all tended to be kind of… pranksters. They were all really bad with personal space issues. None of them had a good understanding of typical boundaries, which often lead to the house feeling chaotic and clustered. Which was the exact opposite type of environment that April needed for studying. She had considered going to the library for some peace and quiet, but the night before she had stayed up practically all night finishing her paper, and she was running on adrenaline and excessive caffeine. It wasn’t worth the risk of passing out from exhaustion in a public space.

Out of habit, April slid her key in and turned. The door unlocked as usual. With three people spending almost all of their time in the house, it wasn’t a major concern for her. She took a moment to go over her priorities - let her housemates know she wasn’t in the mood for games, lock herself in her room, and fervently study as long as possible until she crashed and burned. It wasn’t ideal, but when it came to exams, April knew that she had to do what she had to do.

Thankfully, nobody came bounding up to her as she stepped inside. Or as she hung her coat up. It wasn’t until she made her way to the kitchen that she saw her first housemate. Melonie was rooting around in the fridge, bent over so that her butt was sticking way out. Which wouldn’t have been a big problem, except for the fact that it made her big fluffy tails take up half the room. 

“Hey, Melonie. I’m back. And I should probably give you a heads up about something.” Immediately after speaking up, the fluffy ears atop Melonie’s head began to twitch. She pulled backwards and turned to look at her friend, her face lighting up in joy as she did. 

“April! You’re back! I missed you so much!” She ran in for a tight squeeze of a hug, which April returned with mild tenderness. Melonie was pretty big on physical affection, and it was something anyone who spent time with her quickly got used to. “I had this great idea for a game we can play. Wanna hear about it?”

Although she felt a little bad about not being able to return the enthusiasm, April knew she had to be clear with her housemates. “Geez, I was only gone for the day. You act like I’m going to run away in terror or something.” She didn’t add how many times she’d considered doing exactly that after she first moved in. “And anyway, that’s actually something I need to talk to you about. No games today. I need to study.”

Immediately Melonie’s face fell into a pout. “Aww, really? Not even for a little bit? It involves your favourite toy.” She finished off her sentence in a sing-songy voice, and wiggled her eyebrows for good measure. April felt her cheeks lighting up in a deep flush.

“No! No games, no pranks, no spells, no messing with me, and above all else, no helping!” It was important to April that she properly got her point across. “I know you mean well, and you like to have fun, but I really have to take this evening to focus.”

Melonie sucked in a breath and gave her best look of indignation. “Are you saying you don’t think I can behave myself? Or that I’m always trying to bring some more fun into the world?”

There was a time when April might’ve fallen for her act. That was before several months of living together. “Melonie. You are literally the god of pranks. No, I don’t trust you.”

“God of mischief and trickery, thank you very much!” April took a slight bit of satisfaction in hearing a twinge of genuine anger in her voice. “You know, if you want to be all boring and lame, then fine. Go ahead. I just thought you’d be interested since you’re already dressed for the part and all.” Before April had a chance to respond, she vanished into a light puff of purple smoke.

“Dressed for it? What do you mean by- HEY!” April looked down at herself, and she noticed that she was most certainly not wearing the same set of clothes that she’d walked in the door with. She had arrived home with a fairly conservative outfit - cream turtleneck sweater, a dark blazer, and a pair of jeans that were tight enough to hug her butt while still being generally modest. 

Now she was wearing a snug tank top, black with the words CUM FOR BRAINS in bold pink text. Her jeans were replaced with a microskirt that barely covered anything and a pair of fishnet stockings. April pulled back the tiny fabric of her skirt and saw that she had a thong underneath, almost too tiny to contain her already small cock. And her bra was completely gone. 

“Dammit Melonie! See, this is exactly what I was talking about.” April huffed about, but her housemate was nowhere in sight. Although she had no doubt that the Kitsune was still watching from wherever she was.

Kitsune wasn’t necessarily the best word to describe her. It was a strange set of circumstances that had resulted in April’s current living arrangements, and it was even stranger trying to figure out what exactly Melonie was. She claimed that she wasn’t just a single trickster spirit, but she was all of them. Powerful deities such as Loki, Coyote, Eris, and Anansi, as well as folklore beings such as Faeries and Kitsune. Only it wasn’t as simple as having been each of them. No matter how many times she asked, April never managed to get a clear answer. Melonie always answered with something about how they were a part of her, and she had been all of them, but also that she wasn’t literally Loki or any other. 

In any case, April figured it wasn’t worth worrying about, and it was pretty on brand for a trickster god to be vague and noncommittal about her past. What was important was that as long as she’d known her, Melonie had never caused any serious harm. But she did have a perverted streak a mile wide, and still loved messing with the humans around her. That human just happened to be April most of the time.

At least she’d gotten the message. April knew that if she tried to track her down and change her clothes back, it’d just result in more and more problems. Which on another day, she’d even consider indulging, but not today. She needed to get studying above all else. And if that meant doing it while dressed in something too slutty for the sluttiest of nightclubs, that was fine.

“Hey April! Can you help me out with something?”

The sudden voice caused her to jump in place. April’s second housemate, Kassandra, was standing in front of her with an innocent smile on her face.

“Gah! Kass, I’ve asked you not to do that. It’s rude to just… appear like that.”

Kassandra awkwardly rubbed the top of her head. “Sorry, sorry. I keep forgetting that humans don’t have a sense of flork. Honestly I still can’t really fathom how you managed to build cities with each other like that.”

April did her best not to take the casual dig at humanity too personally. “Well anyway, I’d appreciate it if you had your teleporter make a glowing sound or a noise before you show up. Even Melonie does the smoke for dramatic effect.”

“Fair enough.” Kassandra was still acting like she was only half listening. “So anyway, I kinda need your help for a bit. I promise it won’t take too long, alright?” 

Although she sounded genuine, April knew her housemate too well. “Not today. I’ve got some important schoolwork to do, and I need this evening for studying.” 

However, Kassandra wasn’t dissuaded. In fact, she perked up at the words. “That’s great! In fact, I actually wanted to ask for help with schoolwork as well! How about we work on it together?”

“Absolutely not.” April didn’t even hesitate to shut her down. “First of all, I’m studying astrophysics, and you’re studying humans.”

“See? They’re both related. You’re studying space and I’m studying aliens.”

“And more importantly, I know what helping you looks like. Let me guess, you wanted me to take part in some experiment with a new gadget that I have no idea how it works?”

Kassandra fidgeted in place. “Well, no. I’ve used it before. But anyway, this is really important and I have to get this paper finished by the weekend. Can’t you just do this one thing for me? I’ll owe you big time.”

April snorted. “You already owe me like fifty different big time things. And besides, how long have you had to work on this? I find it hard to believe that in your super advanced and developed university they don’t give you a heads up on deadlines.”

That stopped Kassandra in her tracks. “Hey that’s- it’s not- it doesn’t matter, does it?” She was gesturing wildly with her arms, something she tended to do when stressed. “And don’t pretend you’re miss perfect student over here. I know enough about earth culture that you are definitely not dressed for studying.”

A twinge of red crept into April’s cheeks. “That was Melonie, you know what she’s like. You can’t blame me for that.”

“And how about that thing you were reading online last night? You spent three hours reading reading about this knight who was captured by an evil sorceress and forced to-”

“That was private reading.” A much stronger twinge of red was now filling April's cheeks. “Don’t play dumb with me, you know you aren’t supposed to do that.” She let out a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Getting overly frustrated wouldn’t help anyone. “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you this time. You’ll have to figure it out on your own.”

This time, there was no response from Kassandra. Not even a protest. In fact, she looked like she was trying way too hard to maintain a poker face, and as a result, was failing miserably. It was in that same moment April noticed that her arms were starting to feel a bit tingly. 

“Kassandra. Tell me what’s happening right now.”

For her part, Kassandra paused for a moment before responding. “Okay, so you have to promise not to get mad at me.”

“Kassandra.”

“Alright, so hypothetically speaking, what would you think if I told you I started the experiment when you walked in, and I was just really really hoping you’d say yes so that I could pretend you were okay with it?”

“KASSANDRA!” 

“I’m really sorry, but now I’ve gotta go log the results. Scientific method and all that, you know? Thanks for being so understanding, you’re such a great friend.”

April wanted to shout her name again, but Kassandra darted out of the room. At least this time she had the decency to physically move instead of just teleporting around. There wasn’t much point in chasing her though. Given the nature of her housemates, the layout of their house was subject to change at any moment, and trying to find someone who didn’t want to be found was literally impossible for her. She also had to contend with the fact that her body was still changing from whatever strange experiment Kassandra had tried.

Her fingers had melted together into a tapered point. Her arms were becoming much more floppy, acting like a wet noodle instead of having a proper bone structure. They were shifting in colour from dark brown to a strange pattern of green on one side and white on the side facing inwards. The lighter side also had a couple rows of bumps starting to grow. She tried moving them around, and to her surprise, they responded extremely well. Once the bumps manifested into proper suckers, she understood what was happening. 

“You still owe me big time for this. You hear me? BIG TIME!” She curled up the end of a tentacle-arm into a ball and shook it in the air. Her hands were gone, but fortunately, her new appendages were dextrous enough that she could manage most things. Or at least she hoped that was the case. 

Despite how lazy and insensitive Kassandra could be, April knew that she meant well. The Uvel were a highly advanced species that came from the Andromeda galaxy, and they had basically reached the pinnacle of technology. Churning out dyson spheres and hopping across galaxies like it was nothing. However, they had extremely strict rules about making contact with “native’ species, and there were only around fifty-thousand humans who knew about their existence. April understood that it was a delicate situation, and there wasn’t really a good way to handle it. Their process was to slowly and steadily introduce individual humans to the Uvel, and form a healthy understanding of each other before openly announcing their presence. 

April happened to be one such person. And Kassandra was essentially an exchange student, studying abroad and working one-on-one with “underdeveloped alien species.” However, as passionate as Kassandra was, she wasn’t exactly a dedicated honour roll student. Even through her limited understanding of Uvel culture, April knew her housemate was a heavy procrastinator with a habit of putting in the minimal amount of effort. Which wasn’t her problem in the slightest. But even though she wasn’t going to bail her housemate out of her own mistakes, April was still happy to help out for the most part. After all, she was still getting the opportunity to befriend an alien species. It was just that the alien in question had a very different work ethic from her own.

Her own work ethic was reminding her that she couldn’t really afford to waste anymore time. The Midterm was too important, and even if it meant burning through every last ounce of energy she had left, April needed to be prepared. She could cry from the stress after it was over. So long as she made sure to get some proper sleep on the actual night before the exam, she could pull all nighters as much as she needed to until then.

Although from the outside their house looked like a fairly ordinary suburban place, on the inside it was closer to a mansion. A mansion where the specific rooms and hallways were subject to change on a daily basis. Since April was the only one who couldn’t open a random door and make it suddenly lead to their bedroom, her room was right next to the entrance in an easy to reach location. 

It was a strange feeling, using a tentacle to wrap around the doorknob and turn. It was dextrous and precise enough to make up for the lack of hands at least. She still felt more than a little self conscious about her new clothes, and the irony of trying to study in a shirt that said CUM FOR BRAINS was not lost on her. She was trying especially hard not to think about what it would feel like to jack off with her new tentacle arms. Instead, she pulled her books out, opened up her laptop, and tried to focus on the task at hand.

Unfortunately it was easier said than done. And not just because of how exhausted she was, or her awareness of her own physical changes. It was because it felt like another presence was in the room. Something unsettling, watching her from behind. She felt the chill on her neck and the tingle along her spine, the sense that something was off in a way that couldn’t be described through words. 

“Not now Iris, I’m busy.” April spun around in her chair, and sure enough, she could see the silhouette of her third housemate floating just inside the door. “I don’t know if you heard my conversations with the other two, but I need to study tonight, and I don’t have time to mess around.”

It was impossible to actually see Iris, at least in a conventional sense. April was looking at a humanoid outline of a body, but it was pitch black, utterly absorbing any light. There were fractures in the air around her, and anything close to her started to look fuzzy and distorted. 

“Time? How can you not have time? It is everywhere, as it always has been and always will be. You have your time just as much as you have the air to breathe.” When Iris spoke, it wasn’t in normal words. It was rather an echoing voice that was directly heard in April’s head, alongside her own thoughts. 

“Sure that’s great and all, and it’s easy for you to say. But I’ve got some studying to do, and unlike some people in this room, I have a finite amount of time to work with.” 

Iris’s head cocked itself sideways at a much larger angle than any human neck would manage. “And yet you have not been studying. You have been indulging with the other housemates, have you not? And you have the lingering effects to prove it.”

“That’s not the point, and you should know that!” Iris was silent, and April was even caught off guard by her own outburst. She tried to rub the bridge of her nose with a tentacle. “Look, I’m sorry but, do you mind going into your human form?”

The air surrounding Iris appeared to condense together. Light filled her dark silhouette, and she floated down to the floor. After a brief moment further her appearance was that of an ordinary human being. She looked like a young woman, with pale skin and light purple hair trailing down to her back. Her sky blue eyes were somewhat clouded and unfocused, and she was wearing a simple navy blue sundress. 

“Thanks. I know it’s not fair for me to dictate what you look like, especially in your own home, but it literally is difficult for me to look at you for too long in your natural body.”

Iris shrugged her shoulders, clearly not taking any real offence “It matters not. This shell is merely a projection, and it can be freely altered with but a thought. As can many things in this universe.” This time she was actually physically speaking with words from her mouth. “I merely bring it up because you had promised that you would teach me the art of something called ‘cunnilingus.’ You were rather enthusiastic about showing me before.”

Now that she mentioned it, April did remember saying that. She felt pretty bad about going back on her word, especially when it was something she actually wanted to do. Iris just wanted to connect with humans, and she had been offered a perfect opportunity. Right? It was April’s fault that she’d overpromised during midterms. Although, the more she thought about it, the more it felt odd that she’d promised it in the first place. 

Something didn’t feel right. “Iris, did I actually promise you that, or are you just messing with my mind so that I think you did?”

Iris blinked at her. “I have not done any artificial manipulation of your memories. Anything you recall is something that happened in the past.”

Although that sounded innocent, April knew that precise phrasing was important with Iris. “Okay, did you alter the timeline so that in the past I agreed to go down on you today?”

This time, Iris was silent for an extremely suspicious amount of time. “In our constantly changing world, we are all just a culmination of infinitely small particles. How can it be said with certainty what anyone has or has not done?”

“Dammit Iris! Not you as well.”

Nobody really knew exactly what Iris was. Not Melonie, Not Kass, and not even Iris herself. She was just a being that sort of… existed in the house. A temporal anomaly that shouldn’t exist in our realm, but for whatever reason, did. She claimed to have been born from the gaps that exist between space and time, whatever that meant, and that this specific spatial location was the most comfortable for her. For April, it ultimately meant that there was another inter-dimensional ultra powerful being living in the same house as her. 

And even though Iris tried to act like she was above it all and had no need for earthly desires, she was just as much of a horny bastard and a perv as the others.

“As much as I’d love to show you the wonders of getting your pussy eaten, I can’t do it today. I am stressed out beyond belief, I have way too much on my plate both at school AND at work, and you three stooges aren’t making things easier.” April was almost panting as she spoke. She always tried as hard as she could not to lose her temper, but sometimes it was all just a bit too much. “I don’t blame you for wanting your fun, but it’s not something I can do today. I’m exhausted. I’m going to burn out any minute and I need to milk the most of my consciousness while I still have it, and then tomorrow I’ll have to do it all over again. As much as I want to, I don’t have the energy to play games. Not with you nor with anyone else. Okay?”

She was on the verge of yelling. The problem with these three ultra-powerful entities was that they didn’t understand the stresses and responsibilities of human life. Maybe they had their own duties and obligations, but they didn’t understand the simple and frustrating daily grind.

Iris stepped back, her voice softening. “I apologise for overstepping. However, we have offered to help you. We could remove your daily worries if you wished.”

April held her hand up. She’d had this conversation before, with all of them. “No. I don’t want free handouts like that. You’re nice and all, but I’m studying a field I’m passionate about because I want to excel in it. I can’t have you magically giving me straight A’s or infinite money. I need to live life on my own terms and for myself. And if that means sometimes I screw up and have to pull multiple all-nighters to scrounge up enough time to get things back on track, then so be it.

At the end of her rant, Iris was silent. Her facial expression was, as usual, impossible to read. “Very well. I will admit that I do not understand your logic, but I will respect your choices and give you the time you need.” A wave of relief washed over April. Finally, she was going to be left alone so she could do all the cramming she needed to.

“However, there is one thing I still cannot understand. You say that you spent the previous night without rest and attempting to learn. But I distinctly recall you getting plenty of rest.”

“I…” April trailed off as she started to speak. “I think so? I know I was behind on schedule.”

“You were, but then you decided it was important to maintain your inner mind, as it is the key to your objective. And after focusing on the area you were most concerned over, you went to bed early in order to get a healthy rest and be more prepared the following day.”

April was confused. She’d been so worried about running out of energy, and running out of time. But why? Iris was right, she’d managed to stay on top of things and kept her mind in a good place. “That’s… yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe the stress just got to me.”

Iris nodded. “It is understandable. Have you rethought your position on showing me this ‘cunnilingus’ activity this evening?”

This time, she had to admit the prospect was much more appealing. April felt well rested, energised, and ready to go. Although the midterms would be tough, she knew that she could handle them. However, that didn’t mean she could just completely slack off. “I can’t, Iris. Not right now. This is too important.” She glanced back at her textbook, thinking of what lay ahead of her. “But.. maybe come back in a couple hours? I’ll probably need a break around then.”

Iris didn’t smile. Even in human form, her face wasn’t really capable of showing emotions. But as her vacant eyes washed over her, April felt that she could sense a spark of happiness behind them. 

Her housemates were annoying. They were obnoxious, had no understanding of boundaries, and were constantly causing all sorts of problems. But ultimately there was a reason why April hadn’t moved out.