“You want to be kind and gentle, but unwavering in your statement. Leave no room for interpretation. For example - ‘April, your hair looks nice today. It compliments your eyes.” 

April screamed into her gag at Kassandra’s compliment. She thrashed against the restraints that held her spread eagle to the bed, trying to rebuke her captor and insist that it was just the lighting and it didn’t actually look that nice. 

“I see,” Iris commented. “Since humans are unaccustomed to positive statements, they get defensive and will attempt to deny any reality that shows them in a positive light.”

“Exactly! Now you try.”

Iris circled April’s body, examining her closely. “The spots on your face are aesthetically pleasing to others of your kind. They make you enjoyable to observe, both in a platonic and sexual context.”

Kassandra nodded. “Not bad, not bad. Except here’s a bit of a more advanced rule - generally you should avoid complimenting people for things they can’t control. April’s freckles are cute, but she didn’t create them herself.” She paused for thought as April screamed out in defiance. “Now if she had makeup on that would be a different story, because then you could say her choice in makeup highlights her natural gifts. But that’s not the case today.”

 A million thoughts were racing through April, each bursting to get out. She wanted to say that they were being ridiculous, that they were hardly good judges of human beauty, and that the only reason she looked okay was because her personality made her look gorgeous by comparison. April was an expert at using comedy to deflect any sort of compliment, and being totally unable to do so was far worse than any punishment she’d endured.

“Very well, let me try again. April, you are a joy to be around. I exist in all moments of time from across the history of the universe, yet I choose to stay in this timeframe due to your presence. I will never understand where I came from or why I exist, but being with you makes me appreciate my existence regardless.”

“There you go, well done!” Kassandra cleared her throat. “April, your intelligence has always been an inspiration to me. I may not be as diligent with my studies as you are, but you give me the motivation to work harder so that I can be someone that you’re proud to call a friend.”

“MMMMMMMNNNNNNNGGHHHHH!” April’s screams of anguish reverberated throughout the house, as she strained against the bedframe with all of her muscles in a vain attempt to crawl up in a hole somewhere.