Today was important.
Admittedly, I lived a rather slow and uneventful life, at least in the grand scheme of things. Kay made enough money as a programmer that I didn’t need to work. My weeks would sometimes go by with very little happening, which was something I appreciated. It did, however, mean that when something was coming up I had no excuse for forgetting about it. And naturally, I had completely lost track of the days and forgotten about the single most important day of the year, only to realise my folly at the last minute.
It was Kay’s birthday.
It was also my birthday, sort of. We celebrated together on the same day. But I didn’t care about my own presents. A few weeks back, I’d had a stroke of genius for what I could get Kay, and I’d already congratulated myself for being the best girlfriend ever. The problem was that I hadn’t actually done anything. Hence my frantic texting towards Evelynn last night, and why I was heading out to meet her today. I’d told Kay that I was preparing something for the evening. Granted, what I called “preparing” was more “desperately trying to learn a new skill at the very last minute,” but that was good enough.
Evelynn actually had her own place. I’d made a point to head out early, and thankfully there weren’t many people around. I didn’t want to deal with any unwanted attention today. There was more than enough wanted attention to go around. Thankfully, I arrived at her doorstep without any real trouble. I knocked on the door, and in almost no time, a beaming Evelynn opened up.
“Hey there cutie, it’s great to see you! I’ve got everything ready in the kitchen.” I did a double take at Evelynn’s appearance. She was in her underwear with an apron that read make out with the cook, although it hardly covered anything. “Although next time, a bit more heads-up would’ve been nice.”
I hardly made eye contact as I ducked through her doorway. “Thanks, I really appreciate it.” It was unlikely anyone would accuse her of public indecency, but I didn’t want to risk it. “But you know it’s Kay’s birthday, and you know why I want to do this.”
Evelynn nodded. “But it’s your birthday too. You’re not dismissing your own importance again, are you?” I winced at her comment. Because as much as I hated to admit it, she was kind of right.
“Yeah yeah, whatever. Now let’s get to the kitchen.”
Back when I’d first met Kay, and I was just another recently freed android she was helping, the subject of birthdays had come up. I hated that the closest thing I had to a birthday was the day I was forced into my current body. Birthdays were a very ‘human’ thing, and the closest thing I had was the most traumatic experience of my life. Kay, without even thinking twice, had said “Why don’t you share mine? We can be birthday buddies.”
It had been such a flippant and casual comment. But it was by far the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me.
Thankfully, Evelynn didn’t press the issue. She was pretty good about knowing when to be supportive and when to back off a touchy subject. Instead, she led me to the kitchen, where all sorts of foodstuffs were set up. The counter was lined with bundles of dry ingredients, measuring cups, and other various cooking related items. “You know, most people take years to learn this stuff. You can’t really expect to learn in a single day, can you.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not trying to be a master. I’m just trying to bake a cake, on my own, for Kay.” Evelynn cocked an eyebrow at my comment. “Okay, not ‘on my own’ on my own, but you know what I mean.”
“Alright, if you say so. But we’re going to have to work efficiently, which means no getting distracted, no matter what happens. Or if there happens to be another troublemaker that tries to interfere.” I was a bit confused by what she meant, but Evelynn gestured towards the hallway. There was an extra pair of shoes I hadn’t noticed on the way in. And next to them, a pair of bladed prosthetic feet. “She’s sleeping in the bedroom. I dicked her down pretty good last night, so I’m guessing she won’t be up for a while, but try to stay on task regardless.”
I shook my head. Nova was always a curious one. “Why does she always insist on taking her feet off? It feels like it just causes more problems than anything else.”
“Honestly? I think she just likes getting carried around everywhere.” Evelynn snapped her fingers at me. “No, see this is what I meant about getting distracted. We’re here to teach you, so that’s what we’re going to do.”
Evelynn launched into a surprisingly well thought out lecture about basic food preparation. This was a subject I was beyond a beginner in. Kay had always enjoyed cooking, mostly as a hobby, but she considered it a fun way to treat herself. Of all the things I hated about my inhuman body, the inability to eat food was right at the top of the list. Every civilization since the dawn of history used meals as a form of social connections, and that was something I’d never be able to join. I could, however, do my best to learn. Even if I couldn’t appreciate having a dessert with Kay, if I baked a cake from scratch for her to enjoy, it would be close enough to mimic that connection. Or at least I hoped it would.
“Baking is a lot simpler than you probably think. Ninety percent of it is just glueing ingredients together with eggs, or a substitute material if needed. Obviously extremely talented chefs can do some insane stuff, but we’re not going for that. All we need to do is make sure it’s cooked enough that it won’t get and hope that nothing burns.” I nodded along, trying to be a good student. “So long as we meet that threshold, no matter how it tastes, we consider it a success. It doesn’t matter if the cake is deformed or too sweet or dry. Any cake you make is better than the one you thought of making but were too scared to try.”
Although she was looking over the measuring ingredients instead of looking directly at me, I felt like Evelynn’s words were directly accusatory. Then again, it was entirely possible I was overthinking things. Evelynn had a tendency to spout random bits of motivational advice, sometimes seemingly out of nowhere. “So, I’m assuming you have a recipe to follow?”
Evelynn finished parting the ingredients into the right sizes. “Sure do, and it’s perfect for a beginner. You’re hardly learning from a master, so this is the same basic recipe I normally use. Just make sure to wash your hands before you dive in.” She paused for a moment as the smile dropped from her face. “You, uh, you can wash your hands, right? If not I have a pair of gloves you can use.”
I chuckled at her concern. There was no doubt that Evelynn was a genuine ally to androids like myself, but she wasn’t exactly an expert on how our bodies worked. “Yes, you don’t need to worry. I’m fully water resistant and can wash my hands without short-circuiting. The only thing that’ll make me short-circuit are those abs of yours.” I froze in place, startled by my own forwardness. It was something I’d been thinking, though I’d hardly intended to say anything.
Now it was Evelynn’s turn to laugh. “Don’t worry cutie, you’re hardly the only one. Now, time to get cracking. You’ve got a girlfriend to impress. If you need any help, feel free to ask.”
The instructions were fairly simple. It was a lot of measuring and mixing, but Evelynn had the right tools at hand, so that wasn’t an issue. The biggest problem I had was with the eggs. I’d never actually cracked an egg before, but there were plenty of idioms about how fragile they were. My first attempt was basically tapping on the shell with my finger.
“They’re not that brittle. You’ll need to use a bit more force than that.” Naturally, my second attempt had resulted in the egg exploding, its soft contents splattering across the countertop and myself.
But Evelynn didn’t let that slow us down. She helped me get cleaned up and we jumped right back into things. Occasionally she would give me some advice, like making sure everything was mixed properly or telling me to double-check the sizes, but it was a fairly smooth process. Before long, we were putting the baking pan into the oven. I couldn’t help but feel a bit pleased with myself. Other androids had no problem downloading new skillsets to instantly get a bunch of information, but I still preferred to do things the old fashioned way. “So now all we can do is wait, right? Just wait and hope that it doesn’t burn?”
“Pretty much,” Evelynn replied. “Normally you can smell when it’s ready or if it’s burnt, but I guess you won’t be able to do that.”
I let out a snort of derision. “Ugh, don’t remind me.” Then the joviality dropped from my tone. “Seriously, don’t remind me about it. I really don’t want to think about my lack of smell or taste.”
Evelynn nodded. She wrapped a massive arm around my shoulder and pointed to the timer. ”Don’t worry, this recipe is tried and true. You can trust in the process, and rest assured that once it says it’s ready, it’ll be ready. You remember our rules?”
I thought back to what she had said earlier. “So long as it doesn’t give anyone food poisoning and isn’t burnt to a crisp, it’s a success.”
She gave me a thunderous clap on the small of my back. “Atta girl! See, it’s not too hard to learn. You’ve got this, no problem.” That was something I always appreciated about Evelynn. Out of our entire group, she was the one most likely to screw up with sensitivity and not knowing what was considered offensive. But unlike some people I’d had the misfortune of meeting, she didn’t make a big show about apologising and trying to prove she was a good ally. She just moved on to something that was sure to make people feel comfortable again.
And more importantly, she never made the same mistake twice.
“Of course, there is something else we can do in the meantime.” Her hand crawled down my back until it was resting on my asscheeks. “You know the most important tradition of baking, right?”
Even I knew that one. “Duh, you have to spread your jizz on the top. That’s why they call it ‘the icing on the cake.’” Evelynn snickered at that. “Do you want to use yours or mine for this?”
Evelynn stood behind me and started groping my breast, her other hand reaching up between my legs to feel my cock, which was rapidly hardening inside my panties. “As much as I’m sure Kay would love to slurp up my cream, and I’m more than happy to give it to her, this is your cake after all. You deserve to provide the special ingredient.”
It was hard to resist as she started kissing my neck, but I still had one concern. “Wait, there’s a problem. Kay’s disabled my orgasms. I’m not sure I’ll be able to.”
That didn’t slow Evelynn down in the slightest. “Don’t worry, I know all about your little restriction. We can still work with that. Now, why don’t you strip down so we can milk you for all you’re worth? I’m sure something delicious will dribble out, with what a horny slut you are and all.”
“Fuck you’re right, I am just a horny slut.” Once again, I hadn’t intended to say anything quite so crude. But given how steamy things were getting, I wasn’t going to complain. I slipped my pants down below my waist, letting them fall to the floor.
Evelynn wrapped her arms around me from behind. Most of the time she had a rougher approach, but this time she was soft and tender with her movements. “It’s okay, you can let it all out. Be a good girl and let me take care of you, alright?” I audibly whimpered. It felt like I was melting in her grasp, but she held me upright. “Here, I’ll make you feel good. You did such a good job, learning to bake, and now it’s time for the special ingredient.”
One of her hands was stroking my cock, slow and gentle, but firm in her grasp. Her other hand was holding a small measuring cup, right below my tip. It was a good thing too - I was already starting to drip with eagerness.
“Ooh, Evelynn…” My voice trailed off. It was tough to speak. I felt her body press against mine, her pitch black skin tone a harsh contrast against my own hot pink. And still she kept her slow and sensual motions, letting my desire drip freely. With all the teasing and eroticism Kay and I had been up to, I was leaking far more precum than usual. Yet strangely enough, I felt content with it, not furiously craving an orgasm like during previous times.
Which was a good thing too, since our session was interrupted by the beeping of the oven. Evelynn pulled away and rushed over to peek inside. Her face lit up into a grin, and she beckoned me to come over. “Hey, take a look! It turned out pretty great.”
I took a moment to refocus myself. The moment had been great, but it had passed, and now I needed to pull my pants back up and focus on the task at hand. Sure enough, the cake had risen almost perfectly in the pan. One of the corners had collapsed, but aside from that, it looked perfectly fine. Of course it was missing the icing, but we could always apply that later.
I grabbed the oven mitts and pulled open the door, feeling the blast of heat from the stove. Technically my silicone skin was resistant enough that I didn’t need them, but oven mitts were part of the baking aesthetic, and I wanted to mimic the proper form as much as possible. I had to admit, the cake did look pretty good.
“Not burnt. And it’s definitely cooked enough. You know what that means, right?”
Once again, I remembered her words from earlier. “It’s a success. I successfully baked a cake.”
“That you did, my newly minted chef. Congratulations, and happy birthday to you.” It was impossible for me not to feel a sense of pride swelling up inside. I had learned the basics of baking, and I’d made something. Something that Kay would enjoy.
“Evelyyyyynn.” A loud whine from the bedroom interrupted our celebration. “I’m gonna head out soon, I need you to carry me again.”
Evelynn muttered under her breath. “See, I fucking told you.” She raised her head and yelled back towards the bedroom. “Be there in a minute babe!” She took the cup of my precum and tore off a piece of plastic wrap to go over top, sealing it with an elastic band before passing it back to me. “Get the cake ready to go, I’ll give you a lift back.” Before I could protest, she was gone.
It was easy enough to get the cake ready, since Evelynn had a wide variety of containers of all shapes and sizes. I thought to myself how lucky I was, that Kay’s birthday present hadn’t been completely ruined and my last-minute frantic plan had somehow worked out. I really was lucky to have reliable friends.
The reliable friends in question came bursting through the door. Evelynn was carrying Nova over her shoulder, treating her with all the care and delicateness of a potato sack. Nova was swearing under her breath as each step jostled her around. “Ow! Can you not- FUCK. Do you have to be so rough?”
“You didn’t mind me being rough last night.” Evelynn dumped her unceremoniously in the doorway, but there was still a playful air about her. “And hey, you’re always welcome to be my cocksocket again. Her apron was scrunched up and on her side, revealing her well toned body. “Hang on a second Lina. I’ve gotta go get dressed before I drive you back.”
“Wait, you don’t have to-” She was gone again before I could respond. Although, admittedly, it’d be a lot easier to be driven back to my apartment instead of walking with a cake in hand.
Nova looked up as she put her feet on, noticing me for the first time. “Oh, hey Lina. Sorry I didn’t hear you come in. You also come for a dick appointment?”
I shook my head. “Nah. Evelynn was teaching me how to bake, since it’s Kay’s birthday today.”
Her eyes widened. “Shit, that’s right! Happy birthday to, uh, both of you.” She fumbled in place as she tried to correct herself. “Dammit I forgot to get either of you anything.”
“Don’t worry about it, I almost forgot as well.” Or rather, I kept putting it off for literally no reason until it was a last-minute scramble. Nova breathed a sigh of relief as she finished attaching her prosthetic blades. I watched in mild interest as she worked. It was so different from how I swapped out my prosthetics, lying in bed with my eyes closed so I wouldn’t have to look at my body. “Hey, can I ask you something? How are you so comfortable with not having, you know, feet?”
Nova stared at me in genuine confusion. “What do you mean? I’ve got them right here.” After a moment it dawned on her. “Oh, you mean being an amputee? I don’t know, it just doesn’t bother me. I know some people are distressed by it, and I don’t blame them, but I’m not one of them.” She finished tying her shoes, the carbon fibre blades hidden from view again. “Maybe it’s because I was born like this, but I just think of them as a part of me. The same as my arms or my head.”
That made sense, in a general way, but I was still struggling to wrap my mind around it. “Sure, but you take them off a lot more than most people. Does it… does it ever bother you, taking off a part of yourself like that?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Not really. I just like climbing around on furniture and sitting in weird poses, and that’s easier with the stumps. It’s not like I suddenly stop being human when I swap my parts around.” She opened the door, letting a breeze of cool air in. “Anyway, I’ve gotta head out. Give Kay a birthday kiss for me, will ya? Or something steamier if you want.”
I waved her goodbye as she shut the door again, quietly sitting with my thoughts. A moment later, Evelynn returned from the bedroom, dressed much more appropriately for public this time. “Did Nova leave already? Fuck, I was gonna give her an extra goodbye present.” I didn’t bother asking what she meant by that. “Ah well. You ready to go?”
“Yeah. I… yeah, let’s get going.” I was pretty sure Evelynn noticed something was off, but thankfully, she didn’t comment.
The car ride was thankfully short. There wasn’t much room for conversation - Evelynn liked to blast her music at unhealthy volume levels, but I wasn’t someone who needed small talk. It was nice to just enjoy the company for a bit, if nothing else.
When she pulled up outside my apartment, Evelynn reached down for something. “Hang on, I got you and Kay something as well.”
I felt a little guilty at the present. “Evelynn, you didn’t need to, you’ve already helped me with-”
“Nope. Not hearing it. Take the card and open it with Kay.” I was a little surprised by her forwardness, but I wasn’t complaining either. I grabbed my cake and icing along with the card.
Thankfully, Evelynn still looked to be in a good mood as I stepped out of the car. It was important for all of us to look out for each other, and admittedly, Evelynn did more “looking out” than most. She was reliable like that. But I also knew from experience that expecting someone to always be the ‘reliable one’ was extremely taxing on their mental health. “Hey, thanks again for everything. I really appreciated you teaching me how to cook.”
“And I appreciated teaching you. Let me know if you want to do it again sometime, yeah?” With a final wave she pulled out, leaving me to think about what was coming next. It was Kay’s birthday, and I actually had a birthday present for her. One made with love. So long as she liked it, that was all that mattered.
When I opened the door, Kay was lounging on the couch, engrossed in one of her fighting games. “Hey babe. Did you have a nice day?” She dropped her controller, not even bothering to pause as she came over to me. “So, did you end up getting a nice birthday present?”
“I sure did, although it still needs a bit of prep. I raced over to the kitchen, taking the cake out of the bag and setting it down on the table. “Ta-da! Happy birthday Kay, I baked it for you myself.” I took my precum as well and set it down next to it. “Here, we still have to spread the icing though.”
Kay looked like she was struggling to hold in her laughter. “That’s real sweet of you babe, and I love it! But… here, we should probably do this first.” Before I could ask what she meant, she took out her phone. “Confession time - Evelynn messaged me right after you messaged her. She didn’t want me freaking out that you were ditching me today. It worked out well though, because we concocted a little scheme of our own.”
All at once something clicked in my mind. “Hey wait a minute. Why the fuck was I thinking jizz icing was a normal thing?” I looked over at Kay, who burst into laughter at my confused expression.
“Happy birthday to you too, babe. I hope you had a fun time with Evelynn. Now, come here and tell me all about it.”
We sat down and started working through what had happened. Kay explained how she’d caused me to speak my horny thoughts instead of keeping them in my head, as well as obviously the memory alteration. I’d fully believed that birthday cakes had always used cum as an ingredient. In turn, I told her all about the fun we’d had with Evelynn milking me and causing me to drip everywhere. Although the more we spoke, the more I found myself focusing on more basic things, like my first experience with so many common kitchen ingredients.
“You know, come to think of it, Evelynn was quite a bit tamer with you than usual. She’s usually the raunchiest of us all.”
Kay’s comment took me by surprise, but the more I thought about it, the more I had to agree. Now that I knew the full story, I was surprised she hadn’t been more aggressive. “Maybe she was tired? She did spend the night with Nova.”
“Nah, we both know how much stamina she has.” Kay shook her head. “Maybe she just really enjoyed teaching you to cook. Fuck, if that’s the case I feel bad about roping her into our sex games.
“Kay, we both know how much she loves sex games. Still, you might be onto something.” Talking about Evelynn did remind me of something. “Oh, that’s right! She got us a card.” I reached back into the bag and pulled it out.
It was a fairly generic birthday card, one that could be found in a dollar store. Kay opened it up and stared at the message inside. Her cheeks turned a bit red as she passed it for me to read.
Inside, Evelynn’s sprawling handwriting covered the card. Happy birthday, dumbasses. Remember to celebrate BOTH your birthdays, not just your own.
I felt a twinge of guilt run through me. “You weren’t even thinking of your birthday, were you Kay. You were just thinking about me.”
“Yeah. I take it you were doing the same?” Kay had a sheepish expression. “Dammit, she got to see us both neglecting ourselves in real time, didn’t she.”
Kay had a good point, as she usually did. “Well then, happy birthday to me, and thanks for the wonderful present of setting up an elaborate kinky game with a hot stud.”
“And happy birthday to me, and thanks for the incredible present of learning to bake something just for me.” A smirk returned to her eyes. “And don’t worry, I plan to slather this thing in your icing. I might have to get some extra fresh from the tap though.”
“We’ll see how it goes. For now, let’s celebrate this day by spending the rest of it together.”
Kay raised an invisible glass to toast, and I met her hand with my own. But as I sat back down, my mind wandered back to something, something that wasn’t about my birthday or Kay’s. It wasn’t even about Evelynn. It was about Nova, and the casual words that had been burrowing into my mind ever since I’d heard them.
It’s not like I suddenly stop being human when I swap my parts around.