I was born inside a body that already existed. Katy, they told me it was called.

There's a lot I have not been told. My name, my past, my reason for being here. Despite my lack of experience with being alive, there's a lot I'm already familiar with. I can speak without issue, I can walk without tripping, I can understand what people say when they talk to me, even if what they say is completely ridiculous.

They told me I was left with no memories. They told me this was a last resort, that this was the only thing they could do to save me. They have yet to tell me what I was saved from.

I wait for answers in my room. It's a comfortable hospital room, something I easily grasp without having ever been in one. It has a single bed with a pair of chairs, a small abstract looking table between them, and a nightstand with nothing inside the drawers. Next to my bed is an IV drip, although the bag is empty and not connected to anything.

There's also... something above me? I'm not sure what it is. It's made of metal and tubes and LED lights, but I have no idea what it's for. I figure it's some kind of medical device.

It's imposing having this thing sitting right on top of me at all times. It unnerves me a bit, but I'm sure its there for a good reason. I just haven't been told why.

...I'm oddly calm. I recognize that I should probably be more freaked out by all of this, but the feeling doesn't surface. I might be on sedatives.

Before that particular thought starts spiraling out of control, the door opens.

A man in a lab coat walks in, a doctor I presume. He sits down and introduces himself as Dr. Hammond.

"Firstly, anything physical we need to take care of? Food, water? The bathroom?"

I take inventory and find my throat getting sore. I ask for water and he calls over a nurse to go fetch it for us. We wait in silence. The nurse comes back with two glass cups and a glass pitcher filled with water. She pours for me first, holding a cup to my face.

The water is a coldless cool, the refreshing kind that doesn't hurt your teeth. I down it in an instant. "Thank you," I mumble to her. She smiles. The nurse refills it twice before leaving. Only then does the doctor speak.

"We'll begin now." I nod in reply to the implied question. "So, what do you remember?"

"I woke up here, in a hospital from the looks of things, with no memories." My voice is quiet and still a bit sore.

"Correct. Beyond that, do you remember anything else? What brought you here, for instance?"

"No. As I said, no memories." I gesture at my head in a circular motion. Not exactly sure why, but I think it helped communicate what I meant.

He seems oddly pleased by this for some reason. I get the impression that losing all your memories isn't a good thing. Maybe I'm wrong?

"Do you... enjoy losing your memories, doctor?"

He recoils, wide-eyed. That's my answer then, this is not normal. Always good to double check.

"Sorry, forget I asked."

It takes a moment, but slowly he composes himself again. He doesn't speak for a while longer though, so I just blurt out what comes to my mind.

"...How did that happen, by the way?"

He eyes me carefully.

"An answer for another time."

Okay. I guess find out later.

Dr. Hammond studies me for a moment, his pen motionless above a clipboard.

"You don't seem particularly distressed."

"...Should I be?" I consider the question. I know I've lost something. I simply don't know what. Can someone grieve a memory they don't remember? Apparently not. At least, I can't.

The doctor doesn't answer me. He stares into the middle distance before suddenly asking:

"How old are you?"

...No clue. "I don't know."

"Take a guess."

I look down at my hands. Smooth skin. No wrinkles. The fingers are long and slender, the nails neatly trimmed.

Then I catch myself. I feel like I tripped over something important.

"Why did I look at my hands?"

He gives an odd expression. "Because that's how most people estimate age."

I look at him. I look at my hands.

"...Twenty-one. Maybe."

He smiles. "Twenty-three, but that was a good guess." He crosses his arms and leans back. "Your procedural memory was kept intact, you know what that means? People usually call it muscle memory, though that's only part of it. It's everything your brain learned so thoroughly it no longer has to think."

I look back at my hands. Twenty-three.

"So..." I say slowly. "I still have the machinery."

Dr. Hammond smiles again, with genuine amusement this time.

"That's a good way of thinking about it."

"Except, the person who learned how to operate it..."

His smile disappears. "Her memories couldn't be saved." His frown deepens. "We kept what we could."

"Then Katy is gone."

Dr. Hammond flinches.

"...If that's how you wanna put it."

The muscles around his eyes tighten. His shoulders sink by a fraction. He holds his tongue. I notice a pressure in my throat, trapped words wanting to come out. I don't know what I would say, only that whatever I said seemed to hurt him, and some instinct urges me to lessen the damage.

"I'm..." The word leaves my mouth before I decide whether to say it. I search for the rest of the sentence and find nothing worth saying.

Dr. Hammond looks up and his expression softens.

"You don't have to apologize."

Without thinking, my thumb traces the edge of a fingernail.

"I think this is a good stopping point for today," he says. "You'll be shown to your room shortly."

My room? I look around. "So this isn't my room?"

He hides a smile. "No. It's not."

Then he just, leaves. What a strange man.

It's not long before more strangers walk into the room. This time it's a pair of nurses and another doctor, a woman this time.

"Katy! Super happy to see you're doing okay! I'm Dr. Sonya, MCT researcher and your personal therapist."

I stare at her.

"Okay, I know you're very disoriented and stuff, but just let me have this okay?"

I liked that Hammond guy better. This lady is a bit much.

"You're here to show me to my room right? That's what the other one said."

She smiles. "Straight to business, huh? Glad there's still some of you left in there."

I very pointedly ignore that comment and move to step out of the bed. As soon as I try to hop off however, my legs fold in on themselves and make me stumble.

"Careful there!" One of the nurses grabs my arm and helps me steady myself. The other nurse brought a wheelchair. A wave of relief washes over me as I sit down. Just how long was I out for?

"Is that normal?" I ask.

"Kinda, yeah." Sonya answers. "You're not crippled or anything, just a bit numb from lying down so much. It'll pass in a couple of days, more or less."

I was hoping for a more detailed answer, but whatever. I put my hand on one of the wheels and try pushing, but it doesn't work. I've never been in a wheelchair before so I don't know if I'm doing something wrong, or if this chair can't move on its own.

...How do I know that exactly?

The question lingers in my thoughts as the nurses push me along. The doctor lady is saying something, but I'm not really listening.

I know what a wheelchair is. I know what it's for. I know how it's supposed to work. I just don't remember ever learning any of that.

"—and we'll go over all of that once you're settled in."

I look up. "What?"

The doctor looks concerned. "You're still a little loopy?"

I give it some thought. "I guess... How would I even know that? I've only been alive for a couple of minutes, tops."

The nurse pushing the wheelchair stumbles. Sonya stares at me.

"That's... Suppose I've never thought about it like that," she says.

"Hammond said the same thing..." A thought occurs to me. "Is this procedure a common thing? Like, do you do this often?"

We've stopped moving. The doctor mulls something over for a while before giving me an answer.

"You were not the first, Katy, but your circumstances are... difficult to explain. There's a lot you need to learn before you can understand the gravity of what happened to you. Why we didn't have another choice. That means there's a lot we can't tell you right now. Not out of any ill will, but simply because you wouldn't understand, not fully anyway."

She gestures at the nurses and we start moving again.

"Now, let's shelve the questions for later. I know you're a curious girl, but we need to take things one step at a time."

I nod, a bit stunned by... all of that. My mind keeps churning, but I keep those thoughts to myself. They wouldn't be good questions anyway. It's mostly just...

Katy.

Over and over.

I look back toward the ceiling. The lights keep passing overhead.

For the first time since waking up, I wonder if there is anything inside me that belongs to me at all.