Twilight sat still as the van rumbled down the street, bouncing over pavement as if preparing to fly. She was certain that when it whirled around turns only two wheels rolled on the pavement. Maybe only one.

“Hah, is this as fast as it can go?” Salsa shouted. She leaned forward and gripped the back of the driver’s seat. “Come on, really ramp it up!”

“I would rather not see us all die before we reach our destination,” said Akames. She sat next to Salsa with her arms crossed.

“Don’t worry, the faster we go the smoother the ride!” said Cira. She flipped whirling knobs and shifted pedals with her quick hands and quicker feet. Above the knee blue feathers covered her legs; below the knee her legs looked dark and hard and dry, ending in the pointy talons of a velociraptor.

“Until the inevitable crash,” Akames said. “Why do we let you drive?”

“Is it because I’m fast?” Cira said. “I’m good with directions? I’m good at parallel parking? I won a bet I don’t remember? I’m good at ordering in the drive-thru?” She continued naming possibilities, even as Akames told her to stop.

Twilight, in the seat behind Salsa, looked over all the gears and buttons and levers Cira pressed and turned, more than any normal vehicle should have. She smiled and rolled her eyes. They let Cira drive because after all her modifications to the van she was the only one who knew how. With all those pedals and levers, no one else could fit up front now; she stood only 150 centimeters tall yet crammed herself in the front seat. Salsa and Akames stood thirty centimeters higher.

Well, maybe the fifth member of the team could’ve squeezed into the front seat. Twilight looked at Fiona in the seat next to her. Despite the turbulent speed of the van she buried her nose in a book, poring over myths and legends potentially related to whatever they would soon encounter. She may have been unable to do much against those powerful creatures, but she could warn the team of potential danger ahead of time.

Twilight peered over at the open page and smirked. Maybe Fiona was just looking at more pictures of mythical snakes.

Yes, she could probably fit in the front seat—she was small enough that those snakes she liked easily covered her from head to toe. Twilight knew this because she’d wrapped Fiona up in her latex tail many times before.

The only one she hadn’t wrapped up at some point was Akames. She carried a big sword and Twilight suspected she wouldn’t hesitate to use it on her. As Salsa whooped and shouted from the speed, Akames told Cira to slow down in the reserved tone of a classroom teacher. Twilight figured Akames was some kind of stoic. Her stuffy waistcoat and the frilly silk hanging from her collared brooch looked the part. The wildest part of her appearance was her red hair flowing down her back, but even it looked tame compared to the scattered red ponytail of the orange shark girl next to her.

Of course, Twilight wasn’t really just there to mess with those nerds. Her latex magic made her an excellent trapper, which still sounded like she was just there to mess with those nerds, but no, she could restrain any adversary they encountered, whether frail or monstrous. She had the magic to keep the team safe, so Cira’s hyper driving didn’t concern her much. The latex she strapped herself to the seat with cushioned any bumps or crashes on the way.

“We can make it before it’s a red light!” Salsa shouted.

“It’s already red,” said Akames.

Had they not had Akames, Twilight would’ve called Salsa the muscle. Officially she was the chemist, testing substances from the monsters they engaged with for potential danger; unofficially she punched things. She’d even chomp them with her sharp shark teeth when not dangerous to do so.

She stomped her heavy feet, her finned elbows jabbing the driver’s seat as she rocked in her seat. Her thick tail flopped on Twilight’s safety latex, the obtrusive fin as big as her head. Twilight grinned and produced tendrils from her latex.

“Now, Salsa, why don’t you sit back in your seat?” she said, pulling Salsa’s tail with her tendrils. The shark gal shouted and turned to Twilight. “After all, safety first!”

“Hey! Let go!” Salsa said, yanking her tail away.

“In fact,” said Twilight, her grin even wider, “why don’t I give everybody latex safety straps?”

“No,” Akames said.

“Well sure, no, you’re already dead anyway, right?” Twilight said.

“Being half-celestial does not make me dead,” said Akames.

“Actually, full body safety straps wouldn’t be a bad idea,” Fiona said, nose still in her book.

“See, she knows,” Twilight said. She formed taffy-violet and azure tentacles from her latex safety suit and wrapped a few around Fiona.

“What– Hey!” Fiona pulled away as Twilight ensnared her arms and shoulders. “I didn’t mean like– Hey!” She reached for her round glasses after Twilight nabbed them. Twilight giggled and tickled the hapless scientist, curling tentacles through her curly blonde hair. Fiona couldn’t help but giggle as she tried to tell Twilight to stop.

“Stop that,” Akames said. “We’ll arrive soon–” The van screeched to a halt and Twilight’s tentacles flopped over Salsa and Akames.

“My reaction speed is fast enough to avoid most cats on the road? Oh, we’re here!” Cira said in a cheery, unaware-of-what’s-happening-behind-her-or-most-anywhere-but-her-own-head voice.

Salsa glared at Twilight. The mage smiled back. Salsa’s tough exterior hid a chewy center, and had they been alone Twilight knew she could make her putty in her latex. In public Salsa put up a wall.

“Get your tentacles off me or I’m having calamari,” she said.

Twilight blinked. She tried to keep a straight face through her response.

“You do know they’re made of latex, right?”

Salsa growled. Twilight retracted the tentacles.

Akames stood on the cracked pavement and looked at the silent hotel that towered before them. They’d recently received reports of people entering and never emerging, even though it had closed down months ago. They’d pulled the hotel’s last records and found someone had rented out every room before it closed. Suspicious. Perhaps unnatural. They were there to investigate.

“Wow, this place is dark and depressing,” Cira said. “Although maybe that’s just the evening sky. Still, I wouldn’t want to stay at a place like this. I’d expect ghosts, and I wouldn’t want to be turned into a painting.”

Akames’ hair ruffled in the breeze, and she adjusted her soft cap and white feather. Salsa’s lab coat ruffled in the breeze as she stretched her arms and legs. Akames wondered how Salsa stood being out in the evening air with an exposed midriff.

Twilight emerged from the van. Her dark hair held still in the wind despite the twin purple and blue streams of hair hanging down to her hips. Her skimpy black dress significantly fluttered in the wind, as if she had someone to impress. Somehow the velociraptor girl had the most casual outfit, with her shorts and anime t-shirt, alongside Fiona’s shorts and tank top.

Akames scoped out the surrounding area. The lampposts stood dark. A few vehicles sat in the parking lot but looked crusty. Everything looked normal, but the hotel appeared abandoned.

When she returned to the group, Cira was in the middle of yammering on about the life scanner, goggles over her eyes. Her feathery blue tail swished as she activated the scanner. When she checked the results she scratched her feathery hair.

“I’m detecting life signs in the hotel,” Cira said, “but they’re strange. A few look normal, most are weak, but there’s one that’s strong and big yet flickering as if the machine doesn’t know if it counts or not.”

“Sounds like whatever is in there is draining life force,” said Akames. “If we hurry we can save some of them.”

“Got it!” said Cira. She ran to the hotel. “Hurry in, fight the thing, save the princess, celebrate with cake . . .” Her voice trailed as she left.

“Wait!” Akames said. “Not that fast . . .”

Twilight laughed and strolled after Cira. “You should know not to use the word ‘hurry’ around her.”

The others followed. Fiona carried her book, and Salsa carried a pack of testing tools.

The hotel lobby spread out before them, a world designed around crowds coming and going, now fallen dark and silent. Akames could barely see the high ceiling in the dark. From the gilded chandeliers and statues and paintings it looked expensive to reserve a room, let alone every room. At least—Akames ran a gloved hand over a table, dust sticking to the pads—it would have looked expensive had a layer of dust not coated the lobby. Fiona sneezed.

“The big life force is on a higher floor,” said Cira. Akames walked throughout the lobby and missed some of Cira’s chatter. “Probably the highest floor, although it’s hard to judge, and it could’ve moved, I imagine there are stairs and elevators. It looked so big it could probably stretch to every floor.”

“Let’s head up,” said Akames. “Stay close. Until we know what we’re dealing with, don’t wander off”—she glanced at Cira—“and don’t–” A sharp ring echoed. Akames placed a hand on her hilt as everyone turned to the front desk and Fiona, a call bell under her hand.

“What are you doing?” Salsa hissed. Fiona smiled.

“I thought we might call for help to find out what’s going on here,” she said.

Akames shook her head. She knew Fiona did good research but she’d rather leave her out of the danger zone. Her best moments had been figuring out how to calm monsters so they didn’t have to fight. Twilight sometimes suggested using her as bait, but Akames never liked the idea. Honestly, Salsa was the only one she found reliable, if overeager.

Cira peered at the call bell. She raised a hand, but Salsa nabbed the bell before Cira could tap it seventy times.

“I don’t think anyone is going to help us,” Akames said. The ceiling creaked and everyone looked up. “And if they did, I would expect it to be a trap.”

Twilight grinned and wiggled her fingers. “Maybe it’s ghoooosts!” Cira covered her head with her hands.

“I don’t wanna be a portrait!”

“No,” Akames said. The job would be easier if Twilight didn’t treat everyone as a plaything. “I’d sense if there were ghosts. They also wouldn’t show up on the life scanner. Let’s get upstairs.”

They entered the elevator lobby: four elevators and two sets of stairs. Twilight tapped the call button but the elevator and screen panels remained dark.

“Guess we’ll have to take the stairs,” she said.

“We’ll approach without notice better anyway,” Akames said. Assuming the call bell hadn’t already alerted anyone to their presence, she thought. She approached the stairs but turned as an elevator lit up and groaned. With a ding the doors opened.

“I got it working!” Cira said, waving pliers and a soldering tool. She stood before the call button with the plate removed and prattled about how she fixed it. Akames crossed her arms.

“We’d be sitting ducks in an elevator,” she said. “We need to take the stairs.”

“Ooh, but send the elevator up,” said Twilight. She reached into the elevator cab with a latex tentacle and tapped the top floor button. She grinned. “Whoever’s here might think we’re heading up inside.”

Akames nodded. “Good idea.” She didn’t always trust Twilight, but that scheming head of hers helped when she didn’t focus on traps for her teammates.

Cira hopped up and down. “Ooh, let’s make some dummies to put inside real quick.”

“How?” Salsa asked. She raised a hand as Cira opened her mouth. “Actually, no, don’t answer that, let’s just go.”

The team headed to the stairway. Fiona turned to a glimmer on the elevator floor.

“Hey, Twilight, did you drop something?” She stepped into the elevator and picked up a heart-shaped pendant. Twilight looked back.

“I don’t think so,” she said. Salsa turned and stomped.

“Hey!” She waved her arms. “Fiona, the doors!”

“What?” Fiona flinched upon seeing the closing elevator door. “Oh no!” She ran as Salsa leapt to the doorway, but before either reached it the door shut. Salsa punched the door and turned to the others.

“Damn it, Fiona got separated!” They watched the panel screen above the door flicker from one to two. Cira put her hands to her mouth.

“Oh no, and it’s going top floor!” She smiled and hopped. “Don’t worry, I’ll get her!” She ran up the stairs in a flash. Salsa raised a hand after her.

“Wait! Slow down!” Salsa ran after.

Akames sighed. Twilight laughed and stretched her arms behind her head.

“This is already fun.” She strolled up the stairs, and Akames followed.